Authors: Karin Fossum
She rubbed her face in despair. ‘Our neighbour never knew what happened to his puppy. I raked dry sand over the blood on the ground and took Emil inside. I pretended it had never happened. But ever since then,’ she said, and finally she had the courage to look him in the eye, ‘ever since then I have had a kind of power over Emil. Because I had seen him. Since that day he has done everything I’ve told him to.’
Sejer digested this story in silence for a while. He did not like what he had just heard.
‘In other words, he gets angry when he feels threatened or scared,’ he said eventually. ‘And he’s scared of many things. He defends himself with great rage.’
‘We’re talking about a puppy,’ she said weakly.
‘Maybe that’s not important,’ he said, consoling 313
her. ‘People are scared of all sorts of things. Haven’t you ever seen normally sensible adults lose it completely if a wasp flies into the room?’
Elsa had to smile.
‘But surely Ida was no threat to him?’ Sejer said, mainly to himself. Elsa was startled. Shook her head in disbelief, tried to follow where he was going. Everything was happening so quickly now. She wanted to pull back, but it was too late, so she just wailed: ‘I don’t know! I wasn’t there when it happened. And he couldn’t tell me!’
The room fell utterly silent. Slowly she realised what she had just said, and it surprised her that she felt less anguish than she had been anticipating. This is where we were heading all the time, she thought. I must have known it from the beginning; I just pretended not to understand.
‘Tell me what you saw,’ Sejer asked.
Slowly she gave up. She surrendered to the truth. Her story followed, stumbling and faltering, but he did not for one moment doubt that she was telling him the truth.
‘Sometimes I visit Emil unannounced,’ she confessed. ‘I admit I do it on purpose. To check up on him. And now you know why. So that’s what I do. It was a long time ago. Several months, I think. He got very agitated when I suddenly pulled up in front of his house. There was a girl standing outside. She was feeding the bird. When the weather’s mild Emil sometimes takes the cage outside so Henry the Eighth can get some fresh air and some sunshine. I 314
was very concerned. I thought of how rumours would fly if anyone saw Emil with a little girl. I asked her who she was and where she lived. She said she lived in Glassverket. She told me she had been out on her bicycle and had heard the bird sing. I don’t even know if Emil really took any notice of her; it was like they were each doing their own thing. She was busy feeding the bird, he was tinkering with his three-wheeler. I told her to go away and not come back. She did not reply. Finally she gave me a defiant look and then she smiled. But she left on her bicycle and I never saw her again.’
Elsa shifted in the chair. ‘Not until that awful day,’
she whispered.
‘So you don’t know if that was the first time Ida was there?’ Sejer asked.
‘I didn’t ask. And you know he can’t speak. It was the only time I surprised them like that. It troubled me, but I pushed it out of my mind. Then one evening I was watching the news. The second of September. The photo of the missing girl. I recognised her at once. It was the girl who had visited Emil. That’s just a coincidence, I told myself, but I was worried. So worried that I didn’t even dare drive over to check. Not until the following day. Then I went over to wash his clothes. That’s why I go there,’ she added, ‘and to make sure that everything’s all right. But that day, the third of September, I was going there to do some washing. I called him first. He was impossible on the phone. He often says “no” when I ring him to tell him I’m 315
coming over, but I just ignore it. However, on that day he was different. Scared. Desperate almost,’ she recalled. ‘I became suspicious. And then nervous,’
she admitted, ‘because you never know with Emil. And I was so worried about the missing girl. So I left the house to do my chores at Emil’s and to find out if anything was wrong.’
She gave Sejer a look of anguish across the table.
‘He had locked his front door. And put something gooey in the keyhole. I don’t know what, chewing gum perhaps. I tried unlocking the door with my own key, but it was no good. I drove back to get some tools I could use to force the door. I was so scared,’ she said, ‘that everything I’d always feared had finally happened. So I simply broke down the door; I didn’t care about anything any more. Not the door, which was badly damaged, or the neigh bours who might be watching me. When I finally got into the kitchen, he was behaving strangely. He was so defiant and sullen. I noticed that his duvet was on the sofa and thought, why on earth doesn’t he sleep in his bed? And there was such an odd smell everywhere, an absolutely awful stench. I wanted to go into his bedroom, but he wouldn’t let me. I tried to open the door, but that too was locked.’
Now she was pressing one hand to her chest and her body slumped in the chair. ‘I was so frightened,’
she said. ‘I couldn’t understand what he was hiding from me. I demanded that he unlock the door. I said, I know you, I know when you’re in trouble and you are right now! I had to force the door with 316
a crowbar. And when the door sprang open and I saw what was on his bed, I nearly fainted.’
She pressed her lips together and clapped her hand over her mouth as if to prevent any more words from escaping. Sejer sat completely still, waiting. She carried on.
‘I recognised her straight away. But I could not understand how she had ended up on Emil’s bed. She looked untouched; there were no injuries, no blood, and yet she was dead and I started screaming. I couldn’t control myself. Emil Johannes put his hands over his ears and screamed too; he was screaming “no, no” like he always does. I feel dizzy,’ she said suddenly. She flopped against the table.
‘Have a rest,’ Sejer said. ‘Take a deep breath and rest for a while.’
And she did. Sejer waited. He imagined the terror she must have felt. It was obvious that a shock like that would make someone act irrationally. He understood her panic and despair. However, he decided that she must also be a very strong-minded woman to have gone ahead with her plan. She had acted despite her fear, panic and distress. Cool, calm and collected.
‘I took off her clothes,’ Elsa went on. ‘Her chest was completely destroyed, as if someone had kicked her, and I looked at Emil because I realised that he must have kicked her, but he denied it. He said “no, no” and I couldn’t understand why he would have done it either. She was a lovely little girl. Just like 317
the one I always wanted,’ she sobbed, ‘when I was younger. And never got. I just got a big, sullen boy who wouldn’t talk. Who never wanted to be with anyone. And now he had dragged this girl into his house and kicked her to death just like he kicked that puppy, and I just did not understand why!’
She was silent once more. Sejer tried to picture what Elsa had just told him.
‘I knew I’d never get an answer from Emil, so I decided to act quickly and not even try to under stand why; all I knew was that I had a son who was different. And that something dreadful had hap pened. He had disgraced himself and me and I couldn’t bear that. Not now when I’m old and my days are numbered. All I’ve ever wanted is to go to my grave without a stain on my character,’ she cried. ‘I’ve kept an eye on him and looked after him all these years so that this would not happen. And now it has.’
‘Tell me what you did,’ Sejer said.
‘I needed time to work out what to do,’ she said.
‘I shouted at Emil; I said, now you’ll do as you’re told and no moaning, because if anyone finds out about this it’ll be the end for both of us. You’ll go to prison, I screamed, and so will I. So now you’ll help me, even though you never have before. He was acting so strangely,’ she recalled. ‘He was standing so straight, like a statue, and I just couldn’t understand why he wasn’t more distraught than he was. Oh, he was upset all right, but it wasn’t like the incident with the puppy. He looked confused. As if 318
everything that had happened made no more sense to him than it did to me. He just shut himself off and I didn’t have the strength to probe him for an explanation. Her clothes had to go. They weren’t all that clean any more,’ she said, looking up at him,
‘and the smell was really bad now. I found Emil’s summer duvet and wrapped her in it. I asked him to clear out the freezer in the basement. There was hardly anything in it, so that didn’t take long. The only thing that mattered was that no one must know. I had to get everything right, had to hide every clue that would lead you to Emil. He carried her downstairs to the basement and placed her in the freezer. Then he disappeared up the stairs,’ she recollected, ‘while I shut the lid. When I came back up he was rocking himself backwards and forwards in a chair and the bird was making a racket and most of all I wanted to hurl it out of the window to shut it up. Stop its constant piercing screams. It was like the end of the world,’ she wailed. ‘Emil, silently rocking in his chair, the stench in the house and the screaming bird. I wanted to shut it all out,’ she admitted, ‘but I couldn’t.’
She reached for the bottle of Farris mineral water and began turning it on the table. Perhaps she was thirsty. However, she did not have the strength to lift it and fill her glass, which was next to her. The information from her brain failed to reach her hand; she just kept on turning the bottle. Carefully Sejer took it from her and poured. Finally she drank the cold mineral water.
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‘I realised that we had to get her dressed again. Something new, with no traces of us. I didn’t want you to find her naked. I was thinking of her mother, how awful it would be for her. Eventually I went back home. I decided to buy her a nightie. It’s silly when I think about it now,’ she said with a bitter smile. ‘If I’d gone to Lindex or H&M you never would have found me. Those shops are always packed and the staff are young girls. They hardly notice the customers. But I went to Olav G. Hanssen,’ she said, ‘because that’s where I usually go. Later I went back to Emil’s, even though it was late. I just didn’t trust him not to do something. But he was still sitting there in his chair. I said, we’ll arrange it so they’ll find her, but we have to wait. It must be planned carefully. Then I remembered her bicycle. They said on the television that she was riding a yellow bicycle. Emil had hidden it at the back of his house. A red bicycle helmet hung over the handlebars. We carried it downstairs to the basement. The next evening after dark I simply took the bicycle and left it somewhere. It had to be found a long way from our house. I dumped it behind a substation where I knew it would be found quickly. Then we waited some days. I buried the helmet at the back of the house, in a flowerbed. That’s where you’ll find it,’ she said, looking up, ‘below a broken basement window.’
Sejer made a few notes and it seemed as if she was pleased that everything was written down exactly the way she told it. She waited politely while he 320
finished, then she carried on just as doggedly as before.
‘I kept putting it off. It was just impossible for me to open that lid again. As long as she was in the freezer, everything was all right. We couldn’t see her or smell her. I could almost make myself believe it was nothing but a bad dream. And all the time you were waiting and waiting. I kept thinking about her poor mother and I realised that we would all feel better once Ida was found. So she could be buried. Opening the freezer was a shock. She was
completely stiff under neath the duvet. Emil came over and wanted to stroke her cheek; he got very upset when he realised she was ice cold. I couldn’t get her into the nightie,’ she said. ‘I hadn’t consid ered that. So we had to wait until she had . . . well, you know, loosened up a little. It took a long time. Several times I was close to breaking down. Then we dressed her. It was terribly hard work. I thought of all the things you would discover, all the clues we might leave behind. I kept hoovering. Then we wrapped her in the duvet once again and taped it up. Emil carried her out to my car late at night. He waited at home in his living room while I drove out to Lysejordet. It was midnight. I placed her by the side of the road.’
She was silent. Her face had a vacant expression as though all emotions had left her. ‘But I remember one thing,’ she added. ‘I thought she looked very nice in that nightie.’
She had nothing more to say. She lowered her head, 321
the way people do when they are awaiting sentencing. She was done with it all. Drained of emotions and pain. But Sejer knew that it would all come back to her again. Every night, perhaps, as a terrifying night mare. Right now, though, she was empty. And he said nothing of what lay in store for her.
‘Was it good to get it off your chest?’ he said softly.
‘Yes,’ she admitted. It was barely a whisper. She leaned across the table and groaned. He let her sit. He had all the time in the world.
‘I know that I’m guilty of something terrible,’ she said after a long pause. ‘But she was already dead when I arrived and could not be brought back to life. And as for Emil, well you can’t put him in prison, can you? I was just trying to save him.’
The nightmare, Sejer thought, had already got hold of her. He made a few more notes. She had provided him with a truthful explanation and Sejer believed her completely. Yet he recalled Emil and his claim that his mother’s version might not be correct.
‘Am I right in thinking that you, like me, don’t understand what made him do it?’ he asked. She turned back again and looked at him
miserably. ‘I don’t know for sure.’
‘Why would Emil harm Ida?’
‘I don’t know,’ she repeated.
‘Haven’t you looked for explanations yourself?’
She ran a dry hand across her cheek. ‘I suppose I don’t want to know,’ she said wearily.
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‘I do,’ Sejer said. ‘He must have had a reason.’
‘He’s not normal,’ she stated, as if that would explain everything.
‘Would you describe your son as impulsive?’ he wanted to know.
‘Not really. No.’
‘Or do you think that you know him; do you regard him as pre dictable and feel that in spite of everything you do understand him?’