The Heart Lake grounds were lush with rhododendrons and azaleas, camellias and wild roses. Tall fir trees stood guard over the large timbered lodge and the smaller buildings, which were scattered about the grounds like children playing in the yard. The lodge itself had a huge reception room with a wall of glass looking out at the stone veranda, the sweeping lawns, and beyond, the lake itself.
It was going to be a lovely wedding, Erin told herself as she carried her box of Wal-Mart napkins into the lodge. That had been Adam's suggestion and it had been a good one. It had taken her a while to see that, but now she totally got it. Who cared if the napkins didn't have their names on them? She could re-use the leftovers for any occasion, and they were the perfect shade of green. They'd be wonderful.
“Are you all ready for the big day?” Bev greeted her.
“Of course. I had to let out my wedding gown, though. How pathetic is that?”
Bev waved that failure away with a flick of her hand. “You were too skinny anyway.”
Erin smiled and shook her head. “You always know the right thing to say.”
Bev led Erin into her office and they settled in with cups of tea. “So, I see you brought the napkins.” Bev made a check on the piece of paper in front of her. “Sweet Somethings is delivering the cake Saturday morning.”
“Good.”
“Then Changing Seasons will be setting up the flowers at two.”
“Great.”
“And,” Bev continued with a sly grin, “we'll have the salmon dinner buffet set up to serve one hundred and thirty.”
Erin's heart stopped. Salmon dinner buffet? Where had that come from? “Bev, I didn't order the salmon dinner buffet. You know that.” That would cost a fortune. Adam would kill her. “We're having fruit platters from Safeway, and appetizers that my aunt is making.”
“Well, you still are. But you're getting this, too.” Bev beamed. “Happy wedding.”
Erin sat back in her chair, dumbfounded. “Bev, you can't afford that.”
“You're right. It's not from me.”
“Who, then?”
“Your brother.”
“Brett? He can't afford that.”
“Okay, Brett and someone who preferred to remain anonymous.”
Anonymous, just like with the upgrade on the wedding flowers. “I don't want it,” Erin snapped.
“What do you mean you don't want it?” Bev protested. “I don't understand.”
“I just ⦠don't want it.”
“Erin, the salmon's already here. You may as well take it.”
Erin pressed her hands to her forehead and groaned. “Why is he doing this to me?”
“I don't get you,” said Bev. “Someone is nice enough to spring for this for a wedding present and you don't want it? I know brides who'd kill for a gift like this.”
“It's ⦠complicated.”
“Can you please uncomplicate it and take the gift?”
“I'll let you know,” Erin said.
She finished with Bev and then drove to the Safeway. Dan
wasn't in. “He doesn't come on until three,” said Fred the produce guy. “Try him at the lake house.”
Sure enough, she found Dan at his fixer-upper, painting away. No music this time, just him in a paint-spattered shirt and jeans working in silence, slowly turning the house into a masterpiece. He'd painted the outside now and it was a pale yellow. He was in the process of turning the window trim lime green. She wondered what color he'd painted the inside of the house.
With no music blasting he heard her coming. He set down his paintbrush and wiped his hands on a cloth as she parked her car. Then he stood there on the porch and waited for her, saying nothing, just looking at her.
“You did it again, didn't you?” she greeted him.
He shook his head, looking disgusted. “Brett and I went in together.”
“And how much did Brett pay?”
“Isn't that kind of a rude question?”
“You paid for most of it, didn't you?”
“I paid half,” he admitted.
“I don't want it.”
“You're such an ingrate.”
“I don't mean to be, but it's too much. What am I supposed to tell Adam?”
Dan shook his head. “You don't want me to tell you what to tell Adam.”
“This is wrong, all wrong. You can't afford it,” she informed him.
He gave her a smile that was almost a sneer and shook his head. “Because I happen to work at a grocery store? Come on, Erin. Don't be such a snob. Didn't your mom ever tell you it's not how much you make, it's how you use it? I have plenty of money.”
“But it's not right. Let me pay you back. You already paid for the flowers.”
“So? It's my money. If I want to use it to help my best buddy's
baby sister have a nice wedding I should be able to do that, right?” He hitched up a leg and sat on the porch railing. “Your mom was like a second mom to me. I think this would have made her happy.”
“So that's the only reason you're doing this?” If so, then maybe she could live with the guilt.
“I want you to be happy.”
“That's all?”
He sat there, his lips clamped shut, jaw working. She could see in his eyes what he wouldn't say. She recognized it because it was the same thing she was feeling. She didn't say anything either, though. What was the point? She'd made her choice, and it was a wise one.
“You made your choice,” he said at last, echoing her thoughts. “I wish it had been a different one, but things don't always work out the way you wish.”
She dropped her gaze. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.”
“Did you really need to?”
She bit her lip and shook her head. Her eyes were stinging now, threatening tears. She blinked them back. It was too late for tears, too late for her heart to wander off the reservation. She needed to end this conversation, get out of here. “You've known me for years. Why didn't you do anything, say anything?” Damn him!
“You shot me down so many times I guess I was gun-shy. You went from being a beautiful girl to a beautiful woman. Beautiful women can be intimidating. Then last year I got out of the army and came home and heard you had a boyfriend. And then you were engaged.” His smile was bitter. “That's how life plays out sometimes. Anyway, this isn't about me. It's about you. I want to see you happy.”
He was miserable and all he cared about was seeing her happy. Next he'd offer her the moon.
You have got to leave right now!
screamed her inner mother.
“I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I've been ⦠ungrateful. Thanks for being such a good friend.”
He nodded.
That was all there was to say. “I'll see you at the wedding.” She turned to go.
“No you won't.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “But your band?”
“Is playing without me.”
“But they need a bass player,” she protested.
“They got a guy. Erin, I was glad to do what I could to give you the dream wedding you want, including the band. That's what a man does for a woman he ⦠cares about. But I won't come watch you marry another man.”
The tears were back again, insisting on escaping. Erin nodded, unable to look him in the eye. Now it really was time to leave. She started to walk away.
“Wait.” She turned and he closed the gap between them. He smelled like sweat and paint. It should have been a turnoff. He put an arm around her shoulder, pulled her to him, and kissed the top of her head. “Be happy,” he said, then released her and went back to his paint can.
She stumbled down the porch, nearly blinded by silly tears. This sudden need to cry was ridiculous. She was just emotional because Dan had stirred up a yearning for something she could never have: the past. That was all. She didn't really love him. She loved what he represented.
She got in her car and drove back down the road, telling herself it wasn't meant to be. Dan Rockwell had had years to do something. So had she. She was meant to be with the man she was with. She'd chosen well and they'd be happy and that was that. The tears retreated.
So, with her runaway-bride moment conquered, she sailed into the final wedding events. She picked up Brett and his wife Carly at the airport on Friday afternoon and they all trooped over to Aunt Mellie's to chill on the deck before the rehearsal.
It was a perfect day for a wedding, just the kind of day she'd
dreamed about. The sun was beaming in a blue sky, and the lake was shimmering with sunlight diamonds.
“How's Adam doing? Have you had to stick his feet in hot water to thaw 'em yet?” teased Brett.
“You're so funny,” Erin shot back.
“Why should he have cold feet? He's lucky to get Erin,” her sister-in-law said, smiling at Erin. Carly was going to be one of her bridesmaids, along with Megan and Angela, the matron of honor.
Erin stuck out her tongue at her brother. “So there.”
“Yeah, well. You don't know her like I do,” Brett said, and gave Erin a playful nudge with his foot. “So I hear Dan's band is playing for the reception. Are they any good?”
“They're great,” Erin said. “Except Dan won't be there.”
Brett's brows knit. “Why not?”
Erin felt her cheeks sizzling. “I think he had to work.”
Now Brett was frowning. “What kind of lame excuse is that? He couldn't get off for an old friend's wedding? Man, I'm gonna have to go drag his sorry butt to the church.”
“Don't say anything,” Erin begged. “It's already settled. He got another bass player to take his place.”
Brett shook his head. “What a bum. But I guess helping with the eats gets him off the hook.”
Erin nodded. She suddenly felt like crying again.
Oh, Mom, would you have been proud of me? Would you have approved of the choice I made?
Aunt Mellie joined them now and sank into a lounge chair with her glass of iced tea. “It's so lovely out today. You couldn't ask for a better weekend weatherwise,” she told Erin. “Happy the bride the sun shines on,” she added, raising her glass in salute.
“Yeah, and happy the brother who finally gets his snotty little sister married off,” cracked Brett, returning to form.
“Ha, ha,” Erin retorted.
“Be nice,” cautioned his wife. “You may want free medical advice from her husband someday.”
Brett gave a snort, then added, “Seriously, I'm happy for you, sis. Adam's a great guy. You picked good.”
“I think so,” said Erin.
Oh, dear
, fretted her inner mother.
I hope you know what you're doing.
When it came to love, who knew anything? All a woman could do was make the wisest choice possible and hope it turned out okay.
Uncle Jake got home from work, quickly showered and changed, and then it was time to go to the lodge for the rehearsal. After that Adam's parents were taking the wedding party to the Family Inn, a quaint family restaurant at the edge of town.
They got to the lodge to find the others already there and waiting: the groom and his parents, the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and Kizzy, who was going to be singing at the wedding, with a slimmer Lionel as her escort. She had her arm linked through Lionel's, and Erin looked at them and thought, there's a picture of what a marriage can be. She hoped that would be Adam and her someday.
Adam came over and gave her a kiss. “How's my bride?”
“Fine,” she murmured.
His parents stepped up beside him. “Hello, dear,” said Mrs. Hawthorne, giving her a stiff peck on the cheek. She smelled like Chanel No. 5. Slim and well dressed, she looked like Lauren Hutton.
“Nice to see you again,” Erin said. That sounded stupid. This was going to be her future mother. “Thank you again so much for the cake. That was really sweet of you.”
“Our pleasure,” said Mrs. Hawthorne.
She had the oddest way of looking pleased, Erin thought, observing her tight smile.
She ventured a look at Mr. Hawthorne. His smile at least was genial. He was as good-looking as his wife, an older version of Adam with graying hair and the tanned skin of a doctor who was able to spend a lot of time on the links in between patients.
“Well,” said Uncle Jake in his booming voice, clapping his hands together. “It looks like we're all here. Shall we go through the motions?”