BeyondAddiction (29 page)

“Absolutely.” She winked. “Have a good time.”

“That would be an interesting combination,” Cord murmured.

“Totally,” Fallon laughed. “I’d love to be an invisible
eavesdropper right about now.”

“You’ll be too busy listening to me.” Cord linked his
fingers with hers and tugged her away from the crowd. “Let’s hit that gazebo
and sit down for a while.”

Fallon was amazed at how comfortable she felt sitting in the
little covered area with Cord. Her earlier nervousness had faded, pushed away
by her resolve not to let Brian undo all the work she’d been doing to help
herself. And she forced herself not to look for him, track his movements in the
crowd. She focused completely on Cord. More and more, she relaxed in his
presence. They talked about inconsequential things. He told her about the ranch
and the event center. They talked about everything except Brian and her
therapy. She wasn’t ready to open herself up to that just yet.

But by the time Claire came looking for her again, she felt
more settled, more secure than she had in a long time. The fear still tried to
wiggle its way into her system but she shoved it down ruthlessly. She’d nearly
let Brian destroy her once. She wouldn’t do it again.

“Ready?” she asked Claire.

Cord helped her stand, lacing their fingers together. “I can
run you home if Claire doesn’t want to leave just yet.”

Fallon shook her head. “I’m a little tired. This is my first
big outing in a long time.” She leaned closer so only he could hear her. “But
I’ll be ready for another one before too long. Don’t give up on me. Okay?” She
smiled impudently. “Sir?”

“I’ll hold you to that.” His eyes spoke volumes as they
lingered on her face. He brushed his lips very lightly over hers before
stepping back and letting her walk away.

“That seemed to go well,” Claire commented when they were
back in the car.

“Much better than I’d expected,” Fallon agreed.

“I’m glad you didn’t let Brian’s presence unnerve you or
chase you away.”

Fallon twisted her fingers together, trembling suddenly with
the aftereffect of her encounter. “For a minute I almost did. But then I
thought how stupid it would be to undo all the work you and Ted have done
getting me to this point. And I had to make some decisions for myself. Find my
own strength.”

“I’m proud of you, kiddo. Really. You know, he didn’t stay
very long.”

“I feel sorry for that poor woman who was with him. That
could have been me.”

“But it isn’t. Keep that in mind. And by the way, Jack again
let him know that a lot of people are keeping an eye on him.”

Fallon made a rude noise. “Not that they’ll be able to do
that woman any good.”

“But they can hurt Brian’s business,” Claire pointed out.
“Jack is part of a very powerful group. And they’ve been busy making their
influence felt. And passing word to anyone who will listen to stay away from
that bastard.”

“Good.” Fallon leaned her head back against the seat and
closed her eyes. “That makes me feel better. And speaking of Jack, is there
anything you’d like to tell me about the two of you?”

She couldn’t believe that Claire, her smart, sophisticated
friend, blushed again.

“He’s a very nice man,” she said at last. “But we live in
two different worlds. You know that.”

“Uh huh. We’ll see.”

She hoped Claire’s natural curiosity and everything she’d
learned about BDSM would convince her to take a step forward with Jack, if he
offered. But that was up to them.

“So things went well with Cord?” Claire asked, obviously
changing the subject.

Fallon smiled. “Better than well. I, um, think he’ll be
calling me soon. To see me again.”

Claire’s laugh was loud and raunchy. “Oh, I think he’ll want
to do more than that. Count on it.”

* * * * *

Fallon didn’t ever remember being this nervous, not even on
a first date.

“You are your own person now,” Ted had reminded her and she
clung to that knowledge.

She’d gone over every detail in her head so many times,
wanting it to be perfect, unsure of the outcome even though she and Cord had
been spending a lot of time together. Really getting to know each other on a
much deeper level. Everything was going so well, better than she ever could
have hoped. By mutual agreement, they were taking things very slow. Long walks.
Longer dinners, often in a casual restaurant they both loved where they could
sit on the porch and look out at the Guadalupe River.

He’d also gotten in the habit of dropping by in the mornings
after Claire left for the office, bringing her favorite scone and mocha latté
from Starbucks. They’d sit on the patio, watching the morning unfold and talk
about nothing. A lot of nothing. It amazed her how much they were learning
about each other, considering they’d lived together. Now each visit brought a
new intimacy. A new connection.

He hadn’t pushed her as far as sex was concerned, or
resuming the parameters of the D/s relationship.

“I’m taking my cues from you,” he told her yesterday
morning. “I can wait. It will be worth it in the end.” He’d lifted her hand and
licked each finger lightly. “I want you forever, Fallon, not just for now. And
that’s worth taking the time for.”

Getting her life back on track was giving her enormous
satisfaction. Simple things like driving her car again, going to the therapist
herself. Even taking a quick trip to the grocery store. They all felt new to
her but she supposed it was because
she
felt new. As for her business,
while she’d lost a couple of jobs due to time constraints, she’d begun phone
meetings with clients, and was grateful for their patience.

She’d discussed what she wanted to do tonight—what she felt
she was ready for—in great detail with Ted at their last session, finally
feeling she had all the pieces of herself in place. He had agreed with her, and
with her plan. Then she spent two days preparing things, so jumpy that Claire
finally insisted she go to the spa with her for a massage.

“You’re making me crazy, Fallon. And you’ll make Cord crazy
if you don’t unwind.”

Getting into the ranch house hadn’t been a problem. She
still had a key and the few hands working in a nearby stable merely smiled at
her, a familiar face, and went back to their chores. She had spoken with Cord
earlier and knew he had meetings in town and what time he’d be home.

She had attended to all her personal needs before leaving
Claire’s—long bath, washing and drying her hair, shaving every area of her
body, slathering on the scented lotion Cord loved so much. And a dab of perfume
at every pulse point.

“I hope I won’t be home tonight,” she called to Claire on
her way out the door. She expected a welcoming reception but she was still
unsure if she and Cord were actually back on the right track. She had so much
to make up for.

“I hope so too.”

Now, as relaxed as she figured she was going to get, she
surveyed her handiwork, setting the stage for what she hoped would be the
beginning of forever.

Candles with the scents of cinnamon and jasmine burned
slowly, the aroma whispering in the air. The curtains were drawn on the
windows, and on the bed was an array of toys she’d specifically chosen—a length
of silken rope, a short flogger, the vibrator with the clit stimulator that was
one of Cord’s favorites. Just those to start. He wouldn’t want to play hard
this first time and she wasn’t sure she was up to it yet either.

The flogger was important because the punishment session
would satisfy her need to be disciplined for betraying him. She needed it more
for herself than for Cord, and she hoped he would see it that way. She chose
the rope rather than the cuffs because she wanted to wipe its perverted
symbolism from her mind and embrace it as Cord used it.

“A ‘fuck you’ to Brian,” she’d told Ted when telling him of
her plans.

She had just glanced at the clock for perhaps the hundredth
time when she heard the sound of heavy tires on the gravel outside, then the
slam of a truck door. She followed each sound in her head—the opening and closing
of the back door, Cord’s booted feet on the stairs.

She had deliberately closed the bedroom door. Now, as he
drew closer, she let out one last breath and dropped naked to her knees. Hands
behind her back. Head bowed.

The door opened. She heard a harsh gasp of indrawn breath,
then Cord’s feet came into view.

“Fallon?” His voice was a combination of hope and
astonishment.

“I’m here for you, Sir.” She hoped he didn’t notice the
slight quaver in her voice.

He was silent for so long she wondered if she’d made a huge
mistake. Misjudged the situation. Her heart beat heavily in her chest and tears
threatened at the corners of her eyes. When she had almost given up hope, she
heard his voice again.

“Look at me, girl.”

She lifted her gaze and saw such emotion on his face it
nearly undid her. “I’m happy to look at you, Sir. Always.”

Despite the tenseness of the situation, his mouth curved in
a half-grin. “Impudent minx.”

Giving her own small smile, she threw her shoulders back to
draw his eyes to her breasts.

“Holy shit,” he breathed. “You replaced the rings.”

The words were almost reverent. A warm feeling curled low in
her belly.

“Of course I did. I—I wanted—” She couldn’t seem to find the
right words.

Then his smile disappeared. “If you’re here this way, with
me, I’m going to take it as a total commitment from you. I won’t be able to
play the waiting game anymore. I want you too badly, so it’s fish or cut bait.”

She looked at the floor again. “I’ve always had a fondness
for fishing. Sir.”

He actually laughed, and for the first time since she’d
concocted this plan, the ball of tension inside her began to dissolve.

“Rise, sub. Hands still behind your back. And look directly
into my eyes. I demand it.”

Wobbling a little because she couldn’t use her hands for
balance, she managed to get to her feet. She had one more thing to show him, if
he would let her.

“Do I have permission to move my hands, Sir?” she asked.

“For the moment.”

Very carefully, she opened one of the rings and slipped it
from her nipple. In all the weeks since that fateful afternoon, the piercings
had begun to close, so Claire had driven her to get them pierced again. She’d
taken appropriate care while the new rings were being engraved. Now she handed
one to Cord, her hand shaking slightly.

“If it pleases you, look at the engraving at the bottom.”

He lifted it closer to see better and stared at the etching
on the thickest part of the ring. She had chosen an inscription rather than
their initials, and she waited breathlessly for him to read it.

Yours. Forever.

He closed his fingers around the jewelry, cradling it in his
palm. The muscles in his jaw bunched as emotion gripped him. He bent to take
the unadorned nipple into his mouth, tugging it, swirling his tongue around it.
Arrows of heat stabbed straight to her cunt and her inner muscles spasmed.

With great care, he threaded the thin bar through the
piercing and locked it in place.

“That means they’re never coming off,” he told her.

“Never, Sir.” She shook her head. “Not ever.”

Then, as if he’d held himself in check long enough, he
grabbed her shoulders and took her mouth in a kiss that was hungry and
devouring. He thrust his tongue between her open lips, dueled with hers as he
feasted and sucked. Every pulse point in her body was throbbing, the need for
him so great she felt consumed by it.

The kiss went on forever, as if he’d never get enough. When
he released her at last, they were both breathless. He took a step back,
obviously pulling himself together. She kept her gaze lifted since he hadn’t
told her to do otherwise, and watched myriad emotions chase themselves across
the chiseled plain of his face.

Finally he nodded, and heat and desire flamed in his eyes.

“I see you’ve picked out your toys for the evening.” He
indicated the items on the bed. “Good choices.” Then his face sobered. “Fallon,
listen.” For a moment he was out of Dom mode. “I’m not sure—”

“I am,” she interrupted. “I want this. Please. I’ve had a
lot of time to decide. To get past everything that happened. How screwed up I
was.” She locked her gaze with his, hoping he could see all the emotion she was
feeling. “This is important to me.
You
are important to me.”

Still he didn’t move, his indecision almost palpable.

“I know the difference now,” she went on. “What I had with—
him
—was
a sickness. A perversion. But because he knew just how to fuck with my mind,
how to seduce me into what he wanted, I was hooked.” She wet her lips. “All the
therapy has helped me find answers, and now that I have them, I know the
difference between pleasurable pain and cruelty. I want what
you
gave
me. I want that again.”

Something very primal flared in his eyes. “All right then.”
She could almost see the change in him. “Turn around.”

When she did, he pulled her hands behind her and looped the
silken cord around her wrists, his thumbs rubbing her pulse every time he
passed the length over it. When he was finished, he pulled on his handiwork and
she knew he was tying it off. It was tight but not alarmingly so. Just painful
enough to remind her of its purpose, which was to restrain her for punishment
and pleasure. His and hers both.

Nudging her along, he pushed her toward the bed. Pulling
back the comforter and sheet, he helped her up and onto her knees.

“Forehead down,” he ordered. “Full submissive pose.”

Her heartbeat accelerated again as she complied. She knew
that voice. He was in Dom mode now, in charge of the situation and of her. His
hands pressed against the insides of her thighs to separate them and his
fingers probed her pussy, rubbing the slick inner walls.