Beyond Midnight (40 page)

"
Oh, perfect,
"
Helen groaned, truly distressed.
"
Just what Russ needs: another reason to hate me.
"

"
Hey, c
'
mon—hate? Isn
'
t that a little strong?
"

Helen smiled wanly.
"
Don
'
t you remember how it was, being fourteen? You didn
'
t merely approve or disapprove. You loved or you hated. There were no in-betweens.
"

She glanced down the hal
l, somehow expecting Russ to come back with his father
'
s badge and arrest them both. It was crazy, letting her son dictate her life this way. She resented it fiercely; and that made her feel even more guilty.

"
It
'
s because of Hank, the way he died,
"
she blurted.
"
It left us all emotionally crippled, one way or the other. The wounds are healed; but the scars
..."

She shook her head, not trusting her voice.
"
The scars will always be there,
"
she said at last.
"
I
'
m sorry,
"
she added in a choked voice.

"
Shhh,
"
Nat said, stroking her hair away from her downcast face.
"
Don
'
t you think I understand? My wife died suddenly; violently.
"

Helen looked up in pain.
"
It
'
s true, then?
"
she asked, dismayed.
"
From an overdose? Of ergotamine?
"

He had to steel himself to answer her.
"
Yes.
"

A shudder of revulsion went through her.
"
It can
'
t be,
"
she whispered.
"
It
'
s not possible.
"

"
That
'
s what I told myself,
"
he said quietly.

It was odd, the way he seemed to have to comfort her instead of the other way around. Helen murmured,
"
And yet
...
you seem able to put it behind you.
"

He sighed, then smiled a smile as bleak as Helen
'
s had been.
"
I don
'
t know about putting it behind me. I only know that when I
'
m with you, the pain is eased somehow. It
'
s as if—oh, I don
'
t know,
"
he said, frustrated.

He tried again. Taking one of Helen
'
s hands in both of his, he said,
"
I feel as if you can explain her to me. Peaches tries—I grill her all the time—but it
'
s you I
'
ve come to believe in.
"

"
But I didn
'
t know Linda at all,
"
Helen said, bewildered by his confidence.

"
Go figure,
"
he said with a wretched laugh. He lifted Helen
'
s hand to his lips and kissed it.
"
You
'
re the key,
"
he insisted.

"
Tell me about her first, then,
"
Helen begged.
"
Why would she take ergotamine when she was pregnant? She seemed so devoted to her motherhood.
"

"
I can
'
t tell you that,
"
he said in a voice that tore at Helen
'
s heart.
"
All I can say is that there was a bottle of the pills, with the cap off, on the floor when I found her in bed.
"

"
Are you absolutely sure that
'
s what—?
"

"
Yes. They were absolutely sure,
"
he said grimly.
  "I was at the inquest."

"
But—
"

He shook his head.
"
That
'
s all I
'
m going to say. That
'
s more than I
'
ve said to anyone else except her mother.
"

"
And Peaches.
"

"
Obviously.
"
He relented a little and added,
"
Linda was bothered by cluster headaches on and off throughout our marriage. When she became pregnant the second time, they became unbearable. Apparently hormonal changes can do that.
"

"
But she did understand about ergotamine and pregnancy?
"

"
Yes.
We found a medical manual with a bookmark on the page.
"
He let go of Helen
'
s hand and stood up.
"
I
'
m sorry,
"
he said with a queer little sigh.
"
I guess I haven
'
t put it as far behind me as I thought. I
'
ve been through the denial, vented my anger, worked through my depression. I thought I was finally coming around to acceptance. Apparently not.
"

"
You
'
re rushing the process,
"
Helen said, all too aware that it was folly to try.

He seemed to be thinking of another meaning to her words altogether as he said,
"
I hope I haven
'
t got you in too deep with your son.
"

"
He
'
ll get over it,
"
she said lightly, remembering the kiss.
But I will not.

She saw Nat to the door, not so much to protect him from being stoned by Russ as to drag out the seconds of her time with him. Because that
'
s all they ever had: seconds here, minutes there. A night would be—well, pure fantasy.

She swung the door open to a warm, starry night in
Salem
. June was a month to break anyone
'
s heart, and this June was a bigger heartbreaker than most. Nat stepped over the threshold onto the painted porch. The amber teardrop in the porch light—so dim, so historically correct— made him look young and carefree and, presumably, Helen, too. What did
she
care about a hundred-watt security light? Right now, she felt great with seven.

"
I
'
ll see you soon,
"
he promised.

"
At the Ice Cream Social
...
if not before.
"

He lowered his mouth to hers in another kiss—this one, less tentative, less deliciously surprising, than the first. But it had something else, something more: heat.

Too fast,
she thought, drawing back reluctantly.
Give
it
time.

"
Good-night,
"
he said, and so did she, and then she forced herself to close the door rather than stand there smiling and waving and generally making an idiot of herself while he backed out of the cobbled drive.

Inside, she leaned against the door, reliving his kiss. It was safe now to let herself break into an idiotic smile, and she did.

But then she heard the upstairs door to Russ
'
s room slam nearly off its hinges, a
nd the smile died on her lips.

****

Peaches was in the kitchen, warming a wedge of brie in the toaster oven, when Nat popped his head in.
"
Just in time!
"
she said cheerfully.
"
I was about to make myself a snack. Shall I make it for two?
"

"
Thanks, no, Peach, I
'
m all set. I bummed dinner off Helen Evett.
"

Helen Evett.

"
Oh
, good
,
"
Peaches said without missing a beat.
"Although
I thought you were going to grab something at the office.
"

"
I was, but then I didn
'
t, and—anyway, I
'
ll have a drink while you nibble. Music room?
"

She nodded, smiling, and he said,
"
Meet you there.
"

That little bitch.

Peaches quickly arranged an attractive plate of the cheese, some crackers, and green grapes. Her mind was working overtime, trying to second-guess his feelings for the Evett woman.
It can't
be love;
there was that consolation, at least. Nat was still too full of anger over what he thought was Linda
'
s apparent betrayal to be thinking straight.

He could be trying to get back at his wife, never mind the grave that separated them. Vengeance: It was a powerful motive. Dumb but powerful. Peaches herself had no use for it. It involved emotions. She had no use for those, either. The one thing, the only thing, that made any sense to her was money. Lots of it. Nat had that. Once Linda
'
s will was probated, he
'
d have even more.

Maybe he was driven by sex. It had been months, obviously, since he
'
d had any. Men didn
'
t like to go months without it. So there was always that possibility. But no. If he were sexually motivated, he would
'
ve come to Peaches, a much better object of desire than that twit at the preschool. It couldn
'
t be sex.

The need to talk about his feelings? There was that possibility, certainly. He and Helen Evett had both suffered losses in a savage way. It was a sobering thought: traumas in common. He could tilt either way—to Peaches or to her—in his need to share.
Damn.

She set the plate, a glass of wine, and two napkins on a tray of inlaid wood, then checked her hair and makeup in a small mirror in the pantry before going out to join him.

She found him slouched in the biggest armchair, deep in thought, nursing a brandy. She didn
'
t like the look on his face. It was too intense by half, and there was no computer in sight.

Peaches put the tray between them on the low table, then slipped off her shoes and snuggled on the end of the sofa nearest him. Plucking a grape from the bunch, she said,
"
So how did the interview go?
"

"
Hmm?
"
he said, looking up at her with blank blue eyes. He was a million miles away.
"
Oh. The interview. Pretty well. We
'
re gonna make him an offer. He
'
s a know-
it-all hotshot, but we
'
ll see. Twenty-four years old,
"
Nat added, bemused.
"
A frigging kid.
"

"
You were twenty-six when you took over your first mutual fund.
"

"
Smaller fund.
"

"
Different dollars.
"

He smiled at the compliment.
"
Well, in any case I
'
m older now. Wiser now.
"

Richer now.

"
And a hell of a lot less cocky,
"
he said wryly.
"
You should
'
ve seen this kid. God. Tonight I feel old.
"

Peaches laughed and said,
"
Oh, yes; you
'
re ready for
Wall Street Week
'
s
Hall of Fame, all right.
"