Authors: Antoinette Stockenberg
Pe
aches went over to one of the toddler chairs and surprised everyone by sitting down in it and looking around the room from a three-year-old
'
s vantage.
"
It
'
s a very attractive room,
"
she said to Byrne.
"
Colorful without being overpowering
...
lots of interesting, low-hung posters
...
good light. And it srnells
"
—she took a deep breath—
"
clean,
"
she said, smiling.
"
Are the classes reasonably quiet?
"
Helen was impressed. Here were lots of shrewd, practical observations.
"
No preschool will ever be completely quiet,
"
she said honestly.
"
It would be bad if it were. But the noise is
good
noise, if you know what I mean. And the sounds don
'
t bounce around; we
'
ve insulated as well as possible.
"
She said to Byrne—because she knew he was responsible—
"
It
'
s a shame you weren
'
t in time to see the classes in session.
"
Unlike some schools and despite the security complications, The Open Door was available for observation, even during the tricky times: right after arrivals and just before naps.
Byrne said
snappishly
,
"
I did the best I damn well could.
"
She saw his cheeks flush. She
'
d hit a nerve. Good. He was a single parent now; with or without a nanny, he was going to have to work twice as hard. The sooner he figured it out, the better for Katie.
"
I
'
m sure you did,
"
Helen said with a serene smile.
He thought he was a hero, showing up personally at the school. The fathers often felt that way. It would be sweet if it weren
'
t so sad. Still, he
had
shown up, late or not, and for that he deserved some credit. Helen resolved to give him the benefit of the doubt.
"
It can
'
t be easy,
"
she said,
"
trying to fit a preschool screening into your terribly hectic pace.
"
It was supposed to sound sympathetic, but somehow it came out snotty. Helen couldn
'
t believe it. She seemed to have no control over her own sentiments. Embarrassed by the sneer in her voice, she looked away, only to see Kristy and Peaches staring at her. Even more flustered now, Helen threw herself at little Katie
'
s mercy.
"
Katie? Would you like to see the rest of the school?
"
she asked in a nervously high-pitched voice.
Katie was busy trotting from DOLLS to PUZZLES to the big one—BOOKS—and wasn
'
t all that interested in leaving.
"
No. I wanna stay here,
"
she decided.
In the meantime, Byrne had taken Helen by the elbow and was saying,
"
May I speak to you alone for a moment, please?
"
"
Of course,
"
Helen answered all too faintly.
"
Miss Maylen, would you mind explaining to Ms. Bartholemew the various scheduling options available? Thank you. We
'
ll be right back.
"
She rallied and lifted her elbow pointedly out of Byrne
'
s grip, then walked ahead of him into the hall.
"
We can use my office, if you like,
"
she said cooly.
"
Fine.
"
They walked in testy silence to Helen
'
s office.
Helen dropped into her swivel chair and pinched a droopy leaf off one of the freesias in the vase on her desk.
"
Have a seat,
"
she said, reasserting her authority in the situation.
Byrne stood.
"
What the hell
'
s going on here?
"
"
Excuse
me?
"
"
Why should I do that? I haven
'
t been subjected to that kind of attitude since my—well, let
'
s say I know that tone when I hear it. You have a grudge against me.
"
He parked his fanny on the edge of her desk and folded his arms across his chest.
"
May I ask why?
"
"'
Grudge
'
seems strong, Mr. Byrne,
"
she answered, trying to sound ironic. Nonetheless, she was thinking that
grudge
was a darn good choice of words.
"
What
'
s it all about, then—that sarcasm back there? You don
'
t know me from Adam.
"
"
True enough,
"
she conceded.
"
But I could say the same about you. You seem to have shown up here loaded for bear.
"
"
Not true,
"
he said, visibly annoyed.
"
It was hard for me to make the decision to put Katie in preschool. If you think I
'
m just dumping her—
"
"
Of course I don
'
t.
"
She did.
"
It
'
s obvious that you want what
'
s best for her.
"
It wasn
'
t.
"
The difficulty will be in choosing from several fine preschools.
"
Easy as pie.
"
Naturally we think The Open Door has the most to offer.
"
Dope.
"
My wife wanted Katie to come here,
"
Byrne said with an odd little twist in his voice. He dropped his gaze to the cut flowers and began fiddling with a yellowed leaf.
"
Yes
,"
Helen said, relenting.
"
I was so sorry to hear
.
...
"
"
Thanks,
"
he said without looking at her. He pulled away the leaf so forcefully it bent the stem of the freesia.
"
It was rather sudden.
"
"
I know.
"
He looked up sharply at her.
"
What do you know?
"
Helen felt a
ka-thump
in her breast. She didn
'
t know a thing, and yet her heart was pounding wildly.
"
I mean, she sounded fine when she spoke to me on the day before she—
"
Actually, Linda Byrne had sounded anything but fine. How could he not argue the point?
In any case, he didn
'
t. He said quietly,
"
It was a big blow to Katie. I know three-year-olds are resilient, but I
'
m worried about her.
"
"
She knows about Mrs. Byrne
'
s death?
"
It should
'
ve been a silly question, but Helen knew from experience that it was not.
"
Well, actually,
"
Byrne said, embarrassed,
"
at first I told Katie that her mother went away for a while. It seemed the kindest thing. Peaches put me straight about that, though. I had to go back to Katie and—
"
He took a deep breath of air and shook his head.
"
I
'
ll tell you, it was rough. Katie seemed to accept it, but lately she
'
s become listless
...
cranky
..
. she keeps asking when Mommy
'
s coming back. It
'
s my fault, I guess, for having programmed her to expect it.
"
"
It
'
s not your fault,
"
Helen found herself saying.
"
It
'
s very hard for children that age to grasp the permanence of death. Even I—
"
She stopped herself from bringing Hank into the conversation; this was about Katie
'
s bereavement, not her own.
Byrne hardly noticed her hesitation. Now that he had opened up about his daughter, he seemed eager to go on. He was so clearly, painfully in the dark about what to do, despite the good advice he seemed to be getting from Peaches.
He said,
"
I thought the best thing would be to keep Katie
'
s routine as normal as possible—isn
'
t that what you
'
re supposed to do?—but without her mother, her life is hardly normal.
"
Helen had a thought.
"
I presume you
'
re keeping Peaches on as her nanny?
"
"
If she left us now I
'
d die,
"
he said simply.
"
In that case, you might consider trying to talk her into putting in a few hours occasionally as a teacher
'
s assistant. That way, Katie
'
s new environment would still be reassuring.
"
He seemed amazed, as if Helen had just guessed the combination to his safe.
"
Exactly what Peaches suggested! Great! If you two are both on the same wavelength—well, that
'
s great. It must be the
ri
ght thing to do. Y
'
know, suddenly I feel a hell of a lot better about this.
"
Oh, how glad he was to be relieved of making more decisions. Helen could almost see the weight roll off his back as he stood up and flashed a devastatingly attractive grin at her.
Wow.
It was one thing to be handsome, another thing altogether to be seductive when you weren
'
t even trying. Wow. She had to catch her breath. What an irresistible grin. Wow.
Helen found herself returning it. There they were, suddenly happy about who knows what, when Peaches appeared at the door with Katie in tow. The nanny seemed upset.
"
Hey, kiddo,
"
Byrne said easily to his daughter.
"
How would you like to come to school here and have Peaches around to play with, too?
"
He winked at Peaches, who tried to tell him something, and then he did a knee-bend down to Katie
'
s level and said,
"
I
'
m pretty sure you can do that.
"
"
Mr. Byrne—I don
'
t think so,
"
said the nanny in an unhappy voice.
"
No, it
'
s all right, Peach,
"
said Byrne.
"
In fact, it was Mrs. Evett who suggested it,
"
he added with another grateful smile at Helen.
"
No, no, we misunderstood. The opening is for September, not June.
"
"
September.
"
Byrne stood up again and turned to Helen. The joy, the relief, the unwitting charm—all gone. In their place was a look so cool it bordered on contempt.
"
Do you mean to say that we
'
re standing here on April first to register for a class that
'
s almost half a year
away?
"