Beyond (41 page)

Claudia sat on the edge of the bed
. She watched Michael nervously pace back and forth. Michael knew this moment would come sooner or later. How could he tell her he was the one who had taken her memories?
With a troubled heart, he kneeled beside her .

“
I’m about to tell you things that w ill be difficult for you to understand . Perhaps there are memories you may recall and others you may question. But try to open up your heart, mind and soul , for I didn ’
t want any of this to happen.
”

Claudia
nod ded , biting her lips as she wait ed anxiously.
She could hardly contain herself for fear of what she was about to be hear. Gripping her hands together, she prepared to listen.

“
As Davin said, the Twelve thought it was best to erase the memories of your past to help you ease into who you are now. This has been done many times before. Many venators don ’
t remember their human li ves .
T
he alkins, like Davin, Caleb, Vivian and me are different .
We were taken without a choice , and we can’t recall any part of our human life.
”

Claudia
’
s eyes grew wide.
“
That ’
s awful. Don ’
t you want to remember?
”

“
A part of me does and a part of me doesn ’
t. It ’
s been like this for so long that it doesn ’
t matter anymore. The life I have now , here with my friends and now with you overpower my past. I just want what is now.
”

Michael
h eld Claudia ’
s clasp ed hands tenderly in his and gaze d into her eyes with love and passion ; she could feel it burning inside her.
“
It is forbidden for us to love humans or each other in that special way, but that didn ’
t stop us.
How can something that feels so right be so wrong? Being with you never felt wrong. It’s the one sure thing in my life. You’re the one thing I did right.
I ’
m not sure how you feel, but I love you so much that it hurts. You may not remember us, but I do. My heart ble e d s every torturous day we ’re apart. I wanted to die, but knowing you were alive and well, knowing I could see your beautiful smile , kept me going.
”

Michael words zapped Claudia so hard
, so fast , she didn’t know what to say.
In front of her was a guy she could not remember, confessing his love for her. He had just begun and it was already too much to bear. Tears trickled down her ch eek s .
Michael wiped them and looked into her eyes , hoping she could love him back the way it used to be.

“
I love you more than anything in my entire life. I ’
m so lost and broken without you , ”
Michael said , so tenderly and whole-heartedly that she could feel e very single word . Even more so, she was surprised to see tears pool up in his eyes.
“
I was told to selectively erase your memories, memories of your past life as a human ; memories of Davin, Caleb, Vivi a n and me. Don ’
t be angry at them. They didn ’
t want this. They care for you and love you like a sister. Try to step inside their shoes and understand what they were thinking , and what they were going through.
”

Claudia knew Michael was right. If she was in their position , what would she have done?

“
When you are under the command of the Twelve, there is no escape, ”
Michael continued.
“
Understand not all of them wanted this, especially Katherine. I thought about taking you away, but that wasn ’
t fair for you. I ’
ve r u n away before and I didn’t want that for you . You ’
re always looking behind your back, never knowing who to trust.

“
They chose me because they knew I was the only one who could get close enough to you for you to allow me to touch you and control your mind. I didn ’
t erase your memories. I couldn ’
t do that to us. Instead, you r memories were suppressed. T
hese flash backs you ’
re having, it ’
s because your memories are coming back , and the more you are exposed to the environment and experience s that are similar, the faster you ’
ll remember. You told me b efore once before that memories are kept in the he art. Search your heart, my love . Do not burden it. Do not seek revenge or anger. Give it peace, love and forgiveness , and there you will find what you are looking for.
”

“
Michael, you didn ’
t give me a choice. You took that choice from me. Knowing myself , and if , as you say , our love was real, I would have r u n away with you to the ends of the world. I would n’t care about the danger , you know. All that would matter is that we would be together.
”

Michael
buried his head in Claudia ’
s lap. His body shuddered as he tightly wr u ng his fist on the blanket she was sitting on.
“
Not a moment goes by that I don ’
t relive that day , and what I have taken from you. Forgive me , my love. I know not what else to say. They would have taken you to the Royal Council , and I would have lost you forever. I did the next best thing to have you here. I hope that one day you ’
ll find it in your heart to forgive me .
P
lease know that my intentions were good.
”

Claudia could do nothing but let her pain pour out through her tears. Feeling the depth of Michael ’
s pain, her anger diminished. She now understood the reasoning behind all that he ’d done . She was too caught up i n her feelings; she had forgotten what it would have been like for him. If the role was reversed, she would have done anything to keep him t here. Who was she to judge when she didn ’
t walk in his shoes ?

Tenderly, she placed her hands on Michael
’
s face a nd wiped his tears.
“
There is nothing to forgive. You did what you thought was best. I don ’
t know why, but I trusted you from the first moment I was in your arms. Every time you were near , or just when I he ard your name, I g o t butterflies in my stomach and tingl y feelings in my heart. I never knew why until now. All those times you came to my rescue was your way of showing me how much I meant to you. My heart tells me you mean everything to me, but my mind doesn ’
t know yet. Now it makes sense. These flash backs occurred when you were around. I just need time…that is all I ’
m asking.
”

With a glow in his eyes, he gave a huge grin.
“
Of course. I ’
ll be here waiting as long as it takes…I ’
ll always be here.
”
P
ulling her up to stand, he cup ped both of her hands together and exhale d a deep breath of relief as his eyes sparkle d joyfully . Claudia was starting to remember , and the best part was she had forgiven him. That thought alone was enough.
One step at a time , he thought , to make his plan work.

Claudia suddenly remembered two items, one inside her pocket and the other one tucked underneath her T-shirt. First she pulled out the little trinket that looked like a key chain with a picture of both of them together.

Michael smile
d with wonder.
“
Where did you find that ?”
he ask ed, pulling his shirt up just enough to show her his.

“
I found it there.
”
S
he pointed underneath the desk to a backpack .
“
Clipped to the side zipper.
”

“
This was one of the gifts you gave me for Christmas. I didn ’
t know what it was used for until you clipped it on my pants. I never took it off.
”

Claudia blushed
.
After the color diminished from her skin, she revealed the butterfly crystal necklace.
“
And this?
”

“
I made you that necklace for your eighteenth birthday. It was made from a special deathly crystal. It ’
s from Halo City. The necklace will vibrate and change color when demons are nearby. It was the only way for me to help you be aware , so you could hide until I was able to reach you. I was your guardian angel before Austin was assigned to you.
”

“
You were my guardian angel first?
”

“
Yes, ”
he smiled , happy to be able to tell her this part of her past.

“
It vibrate d and turn ed black when I was in Spec u s, right before Callum and the demons came. That explain s everything.
”
Claudia looked deep in thought and snap ped out of it to ask another question.
“
Where is Halo City? I ’
ve never heard of it.
”

“
It ’
s where I live , where the alkins live. You don ’
t remember, but we were sent there a lifetime ago. We are different than the venators. The venators are allowed to exist here. Though they have the power of angels, they bleed like humans. We, on the other hand, are different. We were banned from being in your world. You could say in a way we are dead. We don ’
t bleed like the venators. Actually, we don ’
t bleed at all.
”

There was a sudden sadness in his tone
.
Claudia t ried to recall .
She had seen Austin bleed, but never had she seen Michael ’
s blood.
She changed the subject to lighten the mood.
“
I would love to see Halo City.
”

“
You ’
ve already seen it, but you don ’
t remember.
I ’
ll take you there…soon.
When the time is right.
”

“
Okay, ”
Claudia nodded.
“
I have many que stions to ask, but we should get going. We fight Callum and his demons together…okay ?”

“
Yes...together, ”
he wink ed , making Claudia feel light headed. After he expanded his wings, like an old habit, she placed herself into his hold , h er head lying on his chest wher e she could feel his heart patter ing with long , full happy beats. Placing her hand on his skin as if she could imprint herself on him, she thought, Mine once more , and said, “
Don ’
t ever let me go.
”

“
Never without your permission, ”
he said and placed an airbrush kiss on her forehead , unsure if she would approve.

Claudia closed her eyes, taking in his kiss, feeling secure in his hold , and this time enjoying it and knowing why she did. Realizing what she had missed, how complete she felt, she never wanted him to let go.
The way he made her feel , like home , was a feeling she could never forget and never wanted to lose again .

Leisurely, he closed his wings, not
wanting to rush this moment of her in his arms. If it wasn ’
t for her not regaining her memories, he would w h isk her away and never look back.

Wondering why Michael was taking his time, Claudia looked up. His eyes were glowing, looking down at her with admiration and adoration. Unable to control himself, he embraced her with all of his desire.
“
I love you, ”
he whispered.
“
I always have. I always will.
”

Though she couldn
’
t say it back to him, just to see her heartfelt warm smile was enough ; t he smile that melted his heart , the smile that he fell in love with , the smile that almost said , ‘
I love you ’
back.

Chapter
2
7

Guilt lingered on Victor’s soul
for what he ’d almost d one . H
e needed to find Father Shepherd and confess . His newfound strong desire to be an Earth angel again ha d lifted his spirit s . He was determined to be more helpful than he was before. He just needed to convince Father Shepherd.