Beyond (22 page)

My breath felt short. I felt a twinge of jealousy rush through me real fast. I tried my best to smile —even a fake smile would do…but nothing.
“
Let me get dressed, ”
I said finally.

Aft
er I put on my jeans and a T-shirt, they took me off of Island of Eden and we hopped into Holly ’
s car .
Michelle, Gracie and Elissa sat in the back of Holly ’
s silver SUV while I sat in the front passenger ’
s seat. Wondering where we were going, I looked out the window. Nothing seemed familiar , and I didn ’
t even bother to ask. There was small talk in the car, but we mostly listened to the musi c, until I finally could no longer take the curiosity of where we were spending our day.
“
Where are we going?
”

“
I thought we ’d go shopping.
”
Holly continued to tap her fingers to the bea t of the bass on the steering wheel .

Then it dawned on me.
“
I forgot to bring my purse, ”
I lied. The fact was I didn ’
t have one. And if I did, where was it?
I never needed one , since Austin was always with me and we hardly ever went out to town.

“
Don ’
t worry. Austin gave me your credit card, ”
Holly smiled.
“
I have it inside my purse. See, it ’
s a good thing we ’
re going shopping. We can buy you a purse too.
”

Letting out a heavy sigh, I
resumed look ing out the window. Again, I felt useless. The only money I remember ed having was the inheritance from Gamma. She left everything to me , including her house . I never ha d to work a day in my life. The amount of money she passed down to me was enough for my life time and then some.

The girls in the back held their own conversation. They acted and talked like they were life time friends. If they were truly my friends, why d id I feel like I d id n ’
t fit in? Maybe it was my fault .

It started off slow, but s
hopping broke th e ice. They had me trying on different outfits till I felt like a supermodel on a run way. We e ven took turns checking each other ’
s outfits , g iving a thumbs up if we liked it or thumbs down if not.
We all bought outfits for different occasion s: ca s ual, formal and even one for a girl ’
s night out.
By the time we had eno ugh, we walked out with six big shopping bags each , and I even bought a purse. Not just one pur se, but several of them.

Michelle and Gracie fli
rted with the cute guys they encountered .
We gig gled out loud like school girls , and I felt like a normal teenage girl.
Austin was a remarkable friend and guardian, but hanging out with my girl friends was different in ways only girls could understand.
Even knowing this, I couldn ’
t help wonder what he was doing . I didn ’
t want to think about it anymore , so I shoo k off the thought of him .

The
drive back home was much cozier. The music was turned down low and our conversation was about the shopping experience and the hot guys we me t , but all of sudden, I needed to rel iev e my bladder. I spotted a small s hoppi ng plaza from a distance.

“
Could you pull over ?”
I asked .

“
What?
”
Holly looked shock ed , like she never heard those word s before.

“
I need to pee, ”
I said sheepishly.

“
You need to pee?
”
e veryone said , and looked at me like I ’d just told them something str ange.

We
pulled off the highway and I jumped ou t of the car. Everyone else stayed behind except for Holly. W
e ran into a store called Fashion Wear , and t he door chimed when we walked in.

“
Hello, welcome to Fashion Wea r, ”
the sales person cheered , standing behind the register helping a customer.
Her smile was friendly, looking at me through her soft hazel eyes.

“
I ’
m so sorry, but I need to use the restro om.
”
Then I looked at Holly, unsure why she followed me in .
“
I mean, we need to use the restroom.
”
I felt bad for interrupting.

“
S
ure. Go ahead.
Straight ahead to your left.
My name is Na n ci if you need anything.
”

“
Thanks, ”
I said and proceed ed quickly. I was just about to pull the door handle when someone unexpectedly appeared on the other side. She looked at me and beamed a pleasant smile. Her smile warmed my heart in way s I couldn ’
t describe. I was blocking her way out , that I knew for sure, but I wasn ’
t sure how long I was staring at her. I t was déjà vu, like I had seen her before. Her mere presence gave me peace and comfort.
It was the strangest feeling, the kind of feeling I ’d had when I first met Davin.

Though she continued to smile, her eyes were filled with questions, most likely wondering why I wasn ’
t letting her out.
“
Excuse me, ”
she finally said.

I snapped out of my trance.
“
Oh…I ’
m so sorry.
”
I opened the door wider and allowed her to pass through.
“
Do I know her ?”
I asked Holly, thinking that maybe I did and my selective amn e sia got in the way.
For some reason Holly loo ked nervous, but she just smiled and shook her head.

After we took care of our business,
I paced slowly across the store , observing the grand size , the high ceiling , and racks and racks of clothes. Though it wasn ’
t a high class store, the kind of store my friends would like to shop at, it r adiated warm , friendly ambiance.
Before I reached for the handle, I politely thanked Nanci.

“
Hey Patty, could you take over for m e ?
I need to make a phone call, ”
I heard someone say .

I
stopped and froze half way out the door, unable to move.
Th e name Patty struck a nerve.
Racking my memories, I closed my eyes, trying to figure out where and how I knew that name and why I felt this way.
Holly m ust have thought I was losing it because she le d me out gently with her arms draped around my shoulders , cradling me like a child who needed guidance.
“
Hey, you okay?
”
Her tone was kind and caring. She cont inue d to lead me to the car, open ed my door, and guide d me in.

“
I…I…just feel a little dizzy.
”
That was the truth , and I decided that I wasn ’
t going tell her the reasons.
“
I think I just need some rest. All this shopping go t me w ired up.
You know I don ’
t get out much.
”

“
Yeah. We were out all day, ”
Holly agreed.
“
Let ’
s get you home.
”

“
Instead of taking me home, can you take me to Gamma ’
s house? Just drop me off and I ’
ll find my way back.
”
I needed to be close to Gamma even though I knew she wasn ’
t there.
I neede d to be somewhere I knew I belong ed , a place that I could call my home.

Holly looked at me and then back to the windshield, looking straight ahead.
“
I don ’
t know if that’
s a good idea. Austin may have issues.
”

“
Holly , I ’
m not asking for your permission .
”
I tried to sound as polite as possible.
“
Please, I ’
m asking you to take me there. I ’
m a big girl. Everyone acts like I can ’
t do anything for myself , l ike I ’
m this precious China doll about to break.
I need to sort things. I ’
m really confused, frustrated and…
.
”
I stopped when the roads became familiar. Holly pulled u p right in front of Gamma ’
s house.

“
I ’
ll tell Austin you ’
re here. Please don ’
t go anywhere else , and please don ’
t do anything crazy.
”

I
g a ve her an “
a re you kid ding ”
look.
“
Thanks. It ’
ll make me feel better.
”

Holly let out a deep sigh.
“
It better , or else I won ’
t hear the end of it from the boss .
Don ’
t worry about your bags. I ’
ll put them in your room.
”

After I thank
ed my friends for a great time, I grabbed my purse and headed to Gamma ’
s house. Just as I wondered how I would get through the door without the keys , I decided to try turning the knob, hoping my angelic powers would kick in.

Concentrating on the doorknob, I willed my mind to open the door . A tingling warm sensation ran through me , the way it feels when you step into the sun from the cold. I turned the knob .

Click.

A
successful smile spread across my face and I walked in.
I let out a deep anguish ed sigh, missing Gamma ’
s presence , and the pain still stung like I had just buried her yesterday. Unexpected tears rolled down my cheeks as I stood by the doorway. Memories of her and her love for me rush ed through me .
I took a moment of silence and let go of all the pain and tears , then looked up when I was ready.

Looking around, n
othing had been touched , as expected. The paintings on the wall hung s traight though dusty. I spotted the rocking chair she had loved so much and sat on it. As I rocked back and forth, I gazed at the small coffee table with several picture frames. One of the picture s wa s Gamma and her friends. The other one was of Gamma, me and a woman I didn ’
t recognize. She had her arms around Gamma and me. Pictures d id n ’
t lie , so why didn ’
t I recognize her? She obvious knew me. The only excuse I could use was my selective amnesia. Either way, I was determine d to find out who she was.

I opened the frame
, folded the pictur e carefully and placed it inside my black purse. Afterward, I walked around the house , looking for more evidence or anything that could help me. Since I could n’t find anything helpful , I sat b ack down on the rocking chair.
As I rocked back and forth like a pendulum on a clock, my mind and body relaxed.
Exhausted , I f oun d myself drifting off to sleep.

Chapter
1
1

My eyes were wide open
, u nable to tell if I was awake or if it was a dream.
I tried to stand up, but I couldn ’
t move. M
y mind and body were not in sync .
I scream ed for help, but no sound escaped from my mouth , so I sat there , immobile , trembl ing with terror , knowing something was coming for me.
I could feel my heart hammer ing out of control as a wave of panic struck through my core.

Sure enough, the dark
shadows were swarming around me.
Recalling what they could do, I had to find a way to escape.
The shadows spiral ed around my ankles , reaching higher.
There was no on e to help me so I took matters into my own hands .
The f ear that emanated through my veins sudde nly eased, and I became calm .
After all, m y father was one of God ’
s first angels , and though I had sel ective amnesia , that was one thing I hadn ’
t forgotten.