Bewitched, Blooded and Bewildered (14 page)

“Sorry. I’d pick you up and spin you around the room, but you look tired,” he drawled with an easy smile, and I laughed.

“I am tired,” I agreed. With one last scratch of Bubba’s ears, I got up from the couch and gently sat down on Lex’s lap. No sense in crushing the poor man. He linked his arms around my waist. “Are you okay with this?” I asked.

“You know I want kids.”

“Right, and I do too, but this is bad timing. It takes me off of the list of people who can fight the hunters and onto the list of people who need to be defended. And what if the faeries have another battle royal planned if we have to face off against the tigers? I can’t throw down with anyone in my condition.”

“I’ll always defend you,” he replied. I smiled softly, as something squishy melted in my chest. I’d doubted Lex in the past, particularly when he sold me out to the witches council for using magic to do harm. I thought I could never trust him again, but I was wrong. He’d go to hell and back for me. Literally, now.

“I know, but that’s not my point. I’m supposed to be battle-ready. Not baby-ready.”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“This is your fault, you know,” I accused, poking him in the chest for emphasis.

Lex grinned. “I do recall you participating in the process.”

“Yeah, but obviously your superpowered guardian swimmers are at fault for thwarting the contraceptives.”

This time he laughed, and I was glad to hear it. We hadn’t had a lot of laughs lately. “Oh really? You sure it’s not your tree-hugging witch magic refusing to be restrained by contraceptives?”

He had a point, because witches are all about fertility, but I wasn’t about to admit it. “Nope, this is definitely your fault. But I love you anyway.”

“I love you too.”

I leaned down to kiss him, and the touch of his lips against mine chased away the last of the butterflies in my stomach. Before I could kiss him again, we were interrupted by the arrival of Marie.

“Ugh, PDA!” she mock-gasped. “Don’t y’all have a room?”

“We’re celebrating the success of our field trip to the shadow realm,” I replied.

“You got the ritual? That’s great,” she said and then grinned.

“A copy of it. The owner didn’t want to part with the original,” Lex said.

“I’m sure a copy will work just fine. But you two should still get a room. My momma always told me that kind of celebrating is how you end up with a house full of children,” she teased. Marie shrugged off her long black coat and hung it on the stand next to the door, with the rest of the long black coats.

“Funny you should mention that,” I said dryly.

“Why, what happened?”

“You’re going to be an auntie,” Lex said.

Marie laughed, probably thinking he was joking, but then her jaw dropped. “Whoa. Seriously?”

“Seriously,” I confirmed.

Marie jumped up and let out a war whoop. “That’s awesome! I’m going to be an auntie!”

I hoped the rest of the family took it that well. Her mother still looked at me with distrust, and I assumed her inner monologue referred to me as
that witch tramp who stole my only son away
. Maybe a grandbaby would mellow her out. “Well, you guys are in charge of telling your mother. I’ll tell Mac. But not now, we’re supposed to be figuring out this ritual thingy.”

“It’s still in my coat,” Lex said.

Normally I’d be shocked that we’d let ourselves get so distracted, but we were having a baby. I think we had a good excuse. I stood up to let him fetch the paper, because I wasn’t about to rummage through his pockets—who knew what kind of explosives or traps could be in there. He returned and set the page down on the coffee table, and the three of us stared down at it.

“What is that, Sanskrit?” I asked. I didn’t recognize the language at all. “Are we even sure that’s what we need?”

“It could be one of the languages of magic. Maybe your cousin can read it,” Marie suggested. I shrugged. It was worth a shot. I called out to Portia, and she popped into the room.

“Kitty!” she said, throwing her arms around me. “The tigers passed the second test. I thought you should know.” Like we didn’t have enough problems going on right now.

“Great. I’m pregnant.”

Portia blinked her big blue eyes at me, and then she squealed with joy. The sound was so high pitched that the dogs threw their heads back and howled. She squeezed me again, tighter this time, and then she zoomed around the room like a dragonfly on speed. “Oh that’s marvelous! You’ll need a proper nursery. Are you still buying a new house? You’ll need to do that as soon as possible. I don’t approve of swimming pools because they’re a drowning hazard, and you should keep that in mind. And you need baby clothes! I love baby clothes! And toys! Oh, this will be so much fun! We must go shopping!”

“Whoa, whoa. One thing at a time. Can you read this?” I asked. I held the page up and she stopped in front of it. One of her chunky clogs almost kicked me in the head, and I eyed her feet warily.

“Yes. Oh, this is the spell you needed. That’s good too,” she said. “We can kill that vampire once you’re free of him.”

“No you’re not. Nobody’s killing him unless I say so, understood?” I tugged her shoe to encourage her to come down to eye level.

She sighed, and her shoulders slumped. Her torn sweatshirt emphasized the movement, rather like a scene out of
Flashdance.
“All right. But that’s no fun.”

“There are plenty of other vampires still on your list that I’m sure will be all kinds of fun to kill. Now, can you write down a translation of this for us, please?” I asked politely.

“Of course.”

Portia plopped down onto the couch, and I fetched a pen and a blank piece of printer paper and let her go to work. Her handwriting was very pretty—I don’t think I’d ever seen it before. It was flowing and feminine and put my scrawl to shame. Portia outlined it like she was writing a recipe. I suppose in a way she was—a recipe for magic. I frowned as I spotted an immediate problem in the list of ingredients.

“‘Blood of the master, freely given.’ Aw, hell,” I said. “Well, we’re screwed right there.”

“You don’t think you could convince him somehow?” Marie asked.

“Harrison? No way. After all he went through to enslave me in the first place, there’s no way he’ll just open a vein to let me go. Besides, I’m part of his evil plan to take over the world.”

Lex snorted, shaking his head. Marie whacked him on the shoulder. “That’s not helpful,” she scolded. “Are you sure he wouldn’t agree to it if you explained you’re pregnant? I can’t imagine any man wanting to experience real sympathy pains.”

“That’s true. But he had to figure it’d happen sooner or later. We’ve been clear on the subject of wanting kids,” I said.

“Unless he was plannin’ on bumping me off before that could happen,” Lex drawled.

I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn’t. I’d like to give Zach the benefit of the doubt and believe that he wouldn’t really hurt Lex, but I didn’t trust him that far.

“Maybe you could trick him into it. Only seems fair,” Marie suggested.

“Maybe.” I took a seat on the couch and tried to come up with ways we could fool Zach into giving us his blood for the ritual. Most were zany cartoon ideas, born of too many Saturday mornings spent in front of the TV. Finally a real idea occurred to me.

“Hey, maybe we could tell him we need his blood to attune him to our wards. He’d like that. He’s already whiny that he has a hard time eavesdropping on me when I’m here.” It was difficult, but not impossible. I shivered at the thought of the inappropriate dream I’d had, and I rubbed my arms for warmth. I’d love to not have one of those dreams ever, ever again.

“You could ask Faust for help,” Portia said. Her head was still bent over the page as she translated it, and we all looked at her in surprise.

“Faust? Why would he help us?” I asked.

“He doesn’t approve of what his nephew did.”

“His nephew…Faust is Zach’s uncle?” I asked, incredulous.

“Yes. You didn’t know that?” Portia asked. She looked up from her work and blinked at me like a kitten sitting amidst a shredded roll of toilet paper, trying to convince you that it had nothing to do with the destruction.

“No, I didn’t know that,” I replied. But it explained so much. If Zach was half-blooded, it was probably one of the reasons why he’d turned out so ungodly powerful as a master necromancer, despite being just a baby. It also explained why Faust worked with him. Yeah, a shadowspawn faerie would gravitate toward evil magicians, but being family would explain his loyalty. It was also kind of funny—Faust looked younger than Zach by about ten years. “And just how do you know that? Portia Silverleaf, have you been talking to that shadowspawn?” I asked, scandalized by the idea.

“Maybe…a little…” she admitted.

“Lord and Lady. Are you crazy? You can get in so much trouble,” I exclaimed.

“Only if I get caught. Here, finished.” She handed the page to Lex, and he frowned as he read it over.

“Portia…” I started, but honestly had no idea what to say. I’d put her in time-out if I could. This was a serious matter. She could be cast out herself if any of the other faeries found out about it. I fell into a gray area about being able to talk to Faust, thanks to my connection to Zach, but Portia was definitely not allowed. “Portia, you have to promise me that you won’t talk to him anymore. I can’t lose you too.”

She sighed. “I’ll try. That’s the best I can do. But you should ask him.”

I looked to Lex, who was reading the translation. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s a bad idea. I think he’ll just go right back to Harrison and tell him what we’re planning, and that’ll only make things more difficult,” Lex said. I agreed.

“I don’t think he will,” Portia said. “I think he’ll help you. He’ll ask for something in return, but I think you can trust him with this.”

“How can we trust a shadowspawn?” I asked.

“I’m sure there are magicians who say the same thing about you being an outcast witch. You were treated unfairly. How do you know Faust wasn’t as well?” she pointed out.

“I guess I never thought of it that way,” I admitted, blushing. I fidgeted, nervous, and then I got to my feet and headed to the kitchen. I needed a cigarette with a hunger that gnawed at me, and I decided to fight it with food. “Is anyone else hungry?” I asked.

“Yeah. I could eat,” Marie said.

“Pancakes?”

“Sure.”

I started grabbing the ingredients for the batter and lining them up on the counter. “Are there any other wonky ingredients on that list?” I asked Lex, glancing back at him.

“There are a few weird things, but nothing impossible to find. Mac will know where to get them.”

“Okay. I think we should try Portia’s idea,” I said.

Lex sighed. “All right. We’ll try it.”

I nodded, and continued with the batter. Pancakes first, shadowspawn faeries second. I started my meal plan with pancakes, but added scrambled eggs and bacon to the menu as hunger and the need for an activity drove me on. I made enough food for a small army, but I knew that Marie and Lex would polish it off. Guardians have big appetites, and they never seem to gain any weight.
Hmm.
Would I need to double my pancake intake now that I was carrying an itty-bitty future guardian? Probably. Hey, being pregnant meant that Lex would have to scale back my exercise routine.
Bonus.
No more crunches for me.

When we finished our meal, I put Marie in charge of the dishes and stood in the center of the living room, my hands on my hips, and called out to Faust. I’d never summoned him on purpose before, but he had popped in a few times on his own to let me know something Harrison-related. At first there was no response, so I tried again, and this time Faust popped into the room.

“Yes, my lady?”

As always he wore his smoked glasses, and now I wondered if he was hiding freaky eyes behind them like Patience did. Before, I’d always assumed they were a fashion statement. He looked very different from the other faeries I’d known. Faust was skinny and tall for a faerie, and he dressed in conservative suits in shades of gray instead of Renaissance garb or 80s punk fashion. His black hair was short and spiky and didn’t really match the business attire, but he had a commanding aura about him, and his magic did smell like faerie magic, just weaker and more subdued. I’m sure he was every bit as powerful as a normal faerie, but his
faerieness
was faded somehow.

“I need your help,” I said. His thin, dark brows rose as he folded his hands in front of him.

“Of course. Anything to help my Titania.”

“We have a ritual to undo the spirit link. But we need Zach’s blood to undo it.”

“Blood freely given,” Lex added. “As much as I’d like to hurt him for it.”

“And you want me to get it for you?” he asked, his tone skeptical.

“Yes. Please? Portia suggested asking you for help.” I turned and looked at her. She was perched on the back of the couch, her wings shedding frost and dust onto the floor behind her, but she was uncharacteristically silent.

“You could ask Zachary for it,” Faust suggested.