Better (Too Good series) (11 page)

“Wait!” the girl called. She caught up to Cadence. “Hey, wait a minute! I didn’t know, okay? I mean, you don’t look ‘special,’ but how was I supposed to know? I mean, what were you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“You were drawing a heart on my board,” the girl pointed out.

“Then why did you ask me if you knew already?!”

“Because I’m trying to
figure out why some random chick is drawing a heart on my board.” She paused for a moment, realization lighting her face. “Ohhhh.”

“
‘Ohhhh’ what?” Cadence asked.

“I’m not, like, gay or anything. I mean, I experimented with a girl, like, two weeks ago, but it just wasn’t my thing. I mean, she was a good kisser and all, but I like guys. That’s not to say I have any problem with you
being gay.”

“I’m not gay,” Cadence said evenly.

“Then I don’t get it.”

“Just don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I drew on your board,” Cadence replied. She sprinted down the hall until she found Room 24. She banged on it until Michael opened.

“What the hell, Cadence? Is someone after you?”

“Move!” she
said, shoving him aside.

“What’
s going on?”

Cadence sank down on his bed and buried her face in her hands.

“I’m so embarrassed!”

“About what?” Michael sat down beside her.

“I can’t even tell you. I can’t tell anyone because it’s so mortifying.”

“I accidentally farted in class yesterday. I was sitting ne
xt to this really hot girl I like. I don’t think it’s going anywhere now.”

Cadence burst out laughing.

“It can’t be more embarrassing than that.”

“I got caught drawing a heart on this girl’s whiteboard
down the hall. She thought I liked her.”

Michael laughed. “
A random heart on a random girl’s door? That’s kinda weird.”

“I know!”

“Why did you do it?” he asked.

Cadence shook her head. “I can’t expla
in it. Strong impulse to belong or something.”

“To belong?”

Cadence looked around Michael’s room. “Well, yeah. This. To belong to all this.”

“A dorm room?”

Cadence rolled her eyes. “The college life. You know. The college experience.”

Michael nodded.

“I think I’m missing out,” she whispered.

“You think you’re missing out on this?” Michael asked, wrapping his knuckles on the painted cinderblocks behind him.

“You know what I mean,” Cadence replied.

There was a light knock on the door.

“You expecting someone?”

“Yeah. I invited Carrie
down the hall to join us,” Michael said. “Is that cool?”

“Sure.”

Michael opened the door to the same girl who thought Cadence was crushing on her.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Cadence muttered.

“Oh my God. It’s you,” Carrie said.

“You two know each other?” Michael asked.

“No,” Cadence replied.

“Sort of,” Carrie
said.

“This is the girl whose whiteboard I drew on. She thinks I have a crush on her,” Cadence said.

Carrie shrugged. Michael laughed hard.

“I have a boyfriend.” Cadence directed the st
atement to Carrie.

“She has a boyfriend,
Carrie. Gosh,” Michael piped up in his version of a Valley girl impression.

“Whatever. You were drawing a heart on my board. How was I supposed to know?” Carrie said.

“She thinks she’s missing out,” Michael explained, shutting his door.

“Michael!”

“What? Was I not supposed to repeat that?” he asked.

Cadence huffed.

“Missing out on what?” Carrie asked. She took a seat beside Cadence, and Cadence automatically moved over.

“Nothing,” she mumbled.

“The college experience,” Michael offered.

“Oh my God. I hate you right now. Stop. Talking,” Cadence snapped.

“But you’re
in
college,” Carrie replied, a look of confusion on her face.

Cadence rolled her eyes thinking of Fanny saying those exact words.

“Can we just study?” she asked. “Hey, wait a minute. You’re in biology?”

“Not your biology class, but we have the same professor and same syllabus,” Carrie replied.

“Oh.”

“Now back to you thinking you
’re missing out. What dorm do you live in?”

“I don’t live in a dorm
,” Cadence replied. She watched Michael sink down on the bed to her left. Great. Now she was trapped in the middle of these two.

“Where do you live?” Carrie asked

“With her boyfriend,” Michael offered.

Cadence slapped
the top of his thigh on instinct.

“Ouch!”

“Stop speaking for me. It’s not your business to tell,” Cadence said.

“Then you probably shouldn’t share with me,” Michael replied, chuck
ling.

“Yeah. Making a mental note,” Cadence grumbled.

“Oh, chill out,” Michael said. “I have ADHD. I can’t help it.”

Cadence
looked at Carrie, who shook her head.

“You’re seriously blaming it on that?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Michael replied. “Making excuses for everything is what you get to do when you have ADHD.”

Carried giggled. Cadence shook her head and smiled.

“Dorm life sucks,” Carrie said. “You’re not missing out on anything there. But if you wanna go to a party or something with us, you can. I mean, if you wanna see what it’s all about.”

Cadence fidgeted with her fingers as she thought. “A party where?”

“Anywhere. They’re always going on. Just walk down fraternity row on a Friday or Saturday night and pick one,” Carrie explained.

“I thought those parties were for fraternity and sorority people,” Cadence said.

“Some. But a lot are open to everyone. If you’re cute enough—which you are—they’ll let you in. They like to stack their parties with hot drunk babes, right Michael?”

He grinned. “That’s why I go to them.”

“So what do you say? We can take you to one this weekend,” Carrie offered.

“Umm . . .”

“Scared?” Michael teased.

“No,” Cadence lied.

“I’ll be the DD this time,” Carrie said. “I won’t let you get crazy.”

Cadence bit her lower lip. “Umm . . .”

“This chick totally needs to party,” Michael said to Carrie.

“Can I think about it?” Cadence asked. Carrie and Michael passed each other a knowing glance.

“Sure,” Carrie said.

Cadence nodded and grabbed her biology textbook from her boo
k bag. The others followed suit. She did a lousy job concentrating on the study session because her mind could think of nothing but attending a frat party. The idea was exciting and terrifying. She had no clue what to expect. She didn’t think it was like the one high school party she attended. She wasn’t sure it was a world she should enter, or even peek inside.

But then again, wasn’t this part of the college experience she felt she was missing out on? And Carrie did say she’d look after her. Not that Cadence planned to get crazy. Maybe just a few drinks. You know, to loosen up. She thought about he
r wardrobe. What do people wear to frat parties? That was probably a conversation she should have solely with Carrie. Michael would tease her.

“Earth to Cadence!” Carrie sa
id, waving her hand in front of Cadence’s face.

“Huh?”

“Where have you been? You’re, like, the worst study partner ever,” Carrie replied.

Cadence shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“Gosh. We’re trying to get a good grade on this test tomorrow. Pay attention and contribute,” Michael added.

“Uh huh,” Cadence said.

“What in the world are you thinking about?” Carrie asked.

Cadence paused.

“What do girls wear to frat parties?”

Even drunk
, Cadence was lucid enough to recognize the mirror image staring back at her. Gracie’s face sported a full smile—that stupid, drunk smile of a girl who unintentionally invites trouble. And they came flocking. Three of them. Big burly boys who surrounded her and pretended to find her jokes funny.

Cadence knew Gracie attended North Atlanta University, but so far, she’d been fortunate enough to avoid her.
They shared no classes, and she didn’t so much as glimpse her once on campus. It was a bit of a shock, however, to see her at a fraternity party. Plastered. That wasn’t good Christian Gracie, but Cadence recognized the tired, clichéd story: Good Christian teen stays out of trouble until college. Then goes berserk.

“Michael, maybe you should go over there and get that girl,” Cadence said. She had to enunciate her words very carefully to keep from slurring.

“Huh?” he asked, preoccupied with another blonde on the couch.

“That girl over there.” Cadence pointed. “Gracie.”

“Who the hell is Gracie?”

Cadence huffed and jumped up from the couch. She stumbled sideways, and a girl was nice enough to catch her before she fell.

“Thank you,” Cadence mumbled, then walked slowly and steadily to the corner of the room where Gracie was trapped.

“Cadence!” she squealed. “Don’t you looooove college?!”

“It’s dope,” Cadence replied, and the boys laughed.

Gracie attempted to redirect their attention. “Cadence and I went to high school together.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” one boy said. “You two friends?”

“Not really,” Gracie said. “She’s kind of a bitch.”

“Whoa,” the boys said in unison.

“‘Tis true
” fell out of Cadence’s mouth.
What the fuck
? she thought.
‘Tis
?

The boys cracked up.

“Gracie, may I talk to you for a second?” Cadence asked, ignoring the laughter.

“About?”

“It’s private.”

“Whatever you have to say, you can say it here.”

Cadence bristled. “I’d rather not.”

Gracie giggled. “You’re funny when you drink. You say silly things.
‘‘Tis’ and ‘rather’. You’re a dork, Cay.”

Cadence’s heart clenched. She couldn’t remember the last time she heard “Cay” come out of Gracie’s mouth. She couldn’t remember the last time she even talked to Gracie.

“Why are you drinking?” Cadence asked.

Gracie rolled her eyes. “Because it’s a party. Duh.”

“Yeah, I know it’s a party, but you don’t drink.”

Gracie snorted. “Whatever.”

“No. Not whatever. You don’t go to parties, and you don’t drink.”

“Well, now I do
. Okay? What’s it to you, anyway?” Gracie snapped.

“C
ome hang out with me,” Cadence urged. The room spun the slightest bit. Enough to force her hand on the wall for support.

“Why the hell would I hang out with you?”

“To make up for tattling on me,” Cadence replied.

“Tattling?” echoed one of the boys.

Cadence regretted using that word. She thought the three musketeers liked it too much. They were grinning from ear to ear, staring at her. She expected them to start panting, tongues hanging out, drooling everywhere. Suddenly she was grossed out.

“I’m a grown woman. I don’t tattle,” Gracie spat. “And anyway, you deserved it!”

“Deserved what?” the red-headed guy asked.

“I think she’s referring to me deserving the punch in the eye my dad gave me after she told him I was sleeping with my math teacher.”

A chorus of “hell no’s” and “what the fuck’s” echoed throughout the living room.

One of the boys turned to Gracie. “Girl, that’s heartless.”

Gracie shrugged. “I was trying to save her.”

No one knew what that meant. Gracie didn’t
even know what that meant. She clutched her beer and stared off into the distance.

“Please come with me,” Cadence begged.

“Go away.”

“No.”

“Go away, you bitch.”

“Um, I think she wants you to leave,” the blond-haired boy said.

“Fine. I don’t care what happens to you,” Cadence said. She turned on her heel and stumbled back to the couch. She sank into the cushion and stared as Gracie flirted with the three football players. She assumed they were football players for as large as they were.

Cadence
drank more beers throughout the evening until she saw five of everything. In fact, she saw five Gracies following fifteen boys to the back of the house. Something didn’t sit right with her about it, and she concentrated hard to form the words.

“Michael, Gracie went in the back with those boys,” Cadence said, nudging her friend. He was busy making out.

“Huh?”

“Gracie’s in the back with three guys. Go get her!”

“Let her do her thing. She went back there with them. She made the choice.”

Cadence looked horrified.
Her mind spun. There was no choice here. There was alcohol and bad judgment, but no choice.

She staggered
to the back of the house and threw open the back bedroom door.

“Get out!” Gracie screamed.

Cadence pushed past the shirtless boys and grabbed Gracie’s shoulders.

“You’re drunk. You shouldn’t be in this room.”

“Hey now. Wait a minute . . .”

“Shut up!” Cadence shouted
to the boys. “Look at me, Grace.”

“Don’t call me that. I hate that name.
” She thought for a moment. “Remember we talked about it?”

“Yeah
,” Cadence said. She thought she could win this one if she said the right things. “It was too grown up.”

Gracie giggled and nodded.

“Come with me, Gracie. You don’t want to be in here.”

“I’m grown up now,” Gracie said. She couldn’t hold Cadence’s gaze. She was too far gone.

Cadence watched the blond-haired boy wrap his arms around Gracie’s stomach from behind.

“
Get off her,” she demanded.

“Okay girly
,” the redhead said. He pulled on Cadence’s arm and dragged her to the door. “Time to go.”

“Get off me!” Cadence screamed. “Gracie
!” She yanked hard on her arm, but she was no match for the boy. He tossed her out the door and shut it. She pounded on it then turned the knob, only to find it was locked. “Somebody help me! Help me!!”

“What the fuck, Cadence?” Michael grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway. Cadence dug in her heels.

“Gracie’s in there! They’re doing stuff to her!”

“You’re, like, totally wasted,” Michael replied. “Let’s go.”

“No!!” Cadence yelled. “Help her!!”

“Get that bitch outta here,” someone said.

“I know, man. I’m sorry,” Michael replied. He dragged Cadence down the hall, kicking and screaming, all the way out to the front lawn.

“I’m not leaving!” Cadence screamed. “Gracie! GRACIE!!”

She collapsed on the ground, clutching the grass as she spun on a merry-go-round that turned too fast.

“Stop moving,” she hissed
and promptly threw up.

“Damnit
,” Michael groaned. “Get your shit together, Cadence.”

She vomited again then wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

She wouldn’t talk to Michael as they waited for Carrie to pick them up. She wouldn’t talk to him in the car. She didn’t say goodnight to him when they exited the elevator for their dorm rooms. Michael didn’t mind. He knew Cadence was drunk off her ass and wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. Cadence was convinced she would.

The morning came.
And she remembered. The details were a little fuzzy, but she recalled trying to stop a girl from making a huge mistake. She failed, though. Was thrown out of the room. Was forced to stand in the hallway and imagine all of the horrible things that were happening on the other side of the door. And she couldn’t understand why she was the only one who cared.

***

“I got drunk at a party!” Cadence blurted over breakfast.

Mark
said nothing. He drank the last of his coffee instead.

“I just thought you should know,” she went on. “I got wasted and threw up in the front yard.
”

“I hope Carrie took care of you,” Mark said
.

“She did
. Well, in the beginning of the night. She was DD. She said she’d watch over me, but then she left us to go check up on her roommate who got food poisoning or something.”

“Who’s
‘us’?”

“Me and Michael.”

Mark scowled. “Did Michael get wasted?”

“Not really
. I mean, I think so.” Cadence screwed up her face in thought. “I don’t know.”

“
You were supposed to spend the night with Carrie.” Mark looked at her expectantly.

Cadence nodded.
“She came back for us.”

Mark walked to the kitchen to
refill his mug.

“What a
re you thinking?” she asked.

“
What happened at the party?” he replied, returning to the table.

Cadence thought for a moment. How much was she willing to share?

“I saw Gracie.”

“Gracie at a frat party?”

Cadence shrugged. “Weird, right?”

Mark eyed her carefully. “Did you talk to her?”

Cadence nodded.

“I’m assuming it was a bad conversation.”

“It was . . . really strange. She was drunk. She was hanging out with these guys. They were laughing at everything she said.”

Mark was quiet, letting her sort through the emotions that read so easily on her face.

“I said dumb stuff because I was drunk. She wanted me to go away, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel good about it.”

Mark nodded.

“She went to a back bedroom with them. I tried to stop her. I knew she had too much to drink. I mean, who can make a wise decision when they’re toasted?”

“No one,” Mark replied.

“She said it was her choice—that she was grown up . . .” Cadence’s voice trailed off.

“It’s not your fault,” Mark said gently. “You couldn’t make her go with you.”

Cadence nodded. She wouldn’t reveal all the details she remembered: Michael ignoring her request to check up on Gracie. Twice. That made him look really bad, but then wasn’t he? She couldn’t shake the idea that he wasn’t the best friend to have. Ever. But she was unwilling to give him up. God, was she
that
desperate for friends? What the hell did senior year do to her?

Mark
rubbed his forehead. “The protective boyfriend in me wants to say something to you that you won’t like.”

“And what’s that?”

“I wish you wouldn’t go to frat parties. They’re recipes for trouble. And Michael and Carrie seem like two people who are more focused on themselves than watching out for each other.”

“Carrie left to check up on her roommate.”

“I know. That seems nice, huh?” Mark asked.

Cadence furrowed her brows.

“But she left you, who was probably already tipsy, after she told you she’d watch after you.”

“So you don’t like them?”

“I don’t know them,” Mark explained. “I just want you to be careful. That’s all. They don’t seem like Avery.”

“No. Avery’s way more selfish,” Cadence joked.

The corner of Mark’s mouth quirked up. “Perhaps. But she’d have stayed with you.”

Cadence had no plans to make Michael and Carrie the focus of her day, but thanks to Mark, they hovered about the forefront of her brain, and she was forced to co
ntemplate the value of their budding friendships. She didn’t know them all that well. It seemed unfair to judge their intentions so quickly, but Mark was right: they did seem to be ultra self-absorbed. She couldn’t even get Michael off the couch to check up on Gracie.