I struggled to control my urge to cry again, after hearing what Evan had said. The emotion poured like rain from his lips, and I made a small gasp which appeared to go unnoticed by him, his eyes still closed, his head still leaning back against the large chair.
“I don't want you to feel obligated due to your role in the family. It is not your fault that you were born into this life. I too have felt overwhelmed at times. I only ask one thing of you.” Evan paused momentarily his body motionless, as I waited to hear his request with bated breath. I had no idea what he was going to ask of me. I was afraid of what it might be, and wondered if I would be able to honor his request. Only a few seconds went by in complete silence, although it felt like long, drudging minutes.
“If it is I that you want, the moment you know it, please don’t hesitate. Come to me. I will love you until my heart no longer beats. If it is not I...” Evan gulped. “Then the moment you know it, go to him.” Evan said with a pained strain in his voice.
I was stunned by what Evan asked, and without any air in my lungs. It felt like the air had been sucked out by a hose. I was so moved by Evan's words that uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. He wanted me to know, and understand that he didn't just love me, but that he loved me enough to let me go if I felt I would be happier with someone else. His words were simple, pure, courageous, the most beautiful words I’d ever heard spoken by anyone. They were stronger than the words ‘I Love You’, and meant more to me than anything. How could I be so lucky to have someone as gorgeous, and as sensitive and as selfless as him, loving me? Could I be so lucky to have had a love as boundless as his?
I had lost the love of two sets of parents which left me lonely, and without guidance in a world controlled by evil and the gifted few to defend them. I was lost, and here was this boy, this man, my knight, who wanted nothing more, but to have his love for me reciprocated if that's what my heart willed.
Evan thought I was the precious prize. He had it all wrong. Evan was immeasurable perfection, and I was flawed. I had behaved like the ungrateful winner. He was what every girl hoped for. I didn't feel worthy of him.
I took a deep breath, and tried to refill my lungs, and the air got caught in my throat. Evan opened his eyes, and gazed up at me as I coughed lightly.
Still standing in the entryway of the parlor, I tried to dry my tears with my hands realizing that I still had on my gloves. But it was too late. Evan’s face was of great concern. The tears had already soaked my chin as I did my best to wipe them away. He was up, and out of his chair in an instant, and I was in his arms – willingly. My emotions were a tangled ball of yarn. He tenderly kissed my tear drenched cheeks. We held each other’s gazes for a moment.
Words couldn't describe what I felt because, I was still unsure of what it was that I felt. We held each other close, and no one else existed in our world.
But then a strange feeling came over me. This seemed incomplete. Something was missing…
“My heart belongs to you. It always will if you want it, But only if you do. I want you to be happy Delia.” Evan said in a whisper slowly rubbing his cheek against mine. I yearned for his petal soft lips, but he didn’t surrender them to me. I could read into his soul through those peaceful ocean eyes. His was a pure soul. He would wait until I was ready. Suddenly, Evan stepped back, and looked at me adoringly. Then he walked out of the parlor. I headed up the stairs.
Once in my sunlit bedroom, Evan removed his jacket, vest, and gold timepiece, while I removed my satin pumps. We lounged, side by side on sofa with our feet propped up on my coffee table.
“Do you remember the first time that I told you that I love you?” Evan asked, blushing to the color of pastel pink.
Taken back by the question, and since I didn’t know the answer I said, “No I don’t.”
“You told me that if I still did, in five years, then you would have to marry me.” Evan chuckled.
“Ok… I will.”
“I don't want you to worry. I know that you are afraid and well, I would deduce that anyone in your position – being killed then revived, losing the only family you remember, being brought back into an unfamiliar point in time, and then forced to understand this complex, yet gift of life, would be right to be frightened. I think that you’re brave, Cordelia. I've always admired you for your bravery, more so now.” Evan said looking into my eyes, and feathering a kiss on my forehead as he held me tenderly, but firmly as if he never wanted to ever have to let me go.
I didn’t want to go, or be anywhere but here right now. I finally felt a calm I hadn't felt since returning to the past. Evan felt to me the way one feels like after a lengthy aggravating trip, and an even more aggravatingly long and grueling commute. He felt like home. I looked up at Evan’s beautiful face, as I cuddled up to his granite hard chest. Feeling his muscular frame though his now wrinkled shirt, made me only want to invite him in further into my heart. I realized then that I didn’t need to let Evan into my heart because he’d always been there Sun Paw’s insistent nudges woke me. I blinked, and looked around my bedroom. I sat up on my slightly rumpled bed. Just passed her petite frame, I could see that the sun had already set. I had fallen asleep. The last thing I remembered was climbing the stairs to my bedroom after Evan left the parlor.
But I’d been alone when I climbed the stairs, yet I remember him being in my sitting room. Had Evan really been in my room, or had I dreamt it?
Although confusion engulfed me, I still felt all tingly from the experience, whether it was real or not. I wanted to relish it.
“Dinner will be served soon, Miss Cordelia.” Sun Paw said, bringing me back to reality.
“I’d like to take dinner alone in my room tonight. Would you mind bringing up my plate, Sun Paw?”
“Of course, Miss.” Sun Paw said, nodding and turning to walk out of my room.
“Sun Paw, wait.” I said, as she turned to face me. “If anyone asks, could you tell them that I’m tired, and that I don’t want to be disturbed.”
“As you wish, Miss.” Sun Paw walked out of my room.
I hoped that everyone would honor my request. I was tired, and feeling a little whipped from what I just went through. I didn’t want to have to carry on conversations, or be forced to listen to Thaddeus and Alexandria chat about how much was hauled from the mines, or about the upcoming ball. I just wanted to be alone for a while. That couldn’t be too much to ask, could it?
I laid back down for a moment, and closed my eyes. The feeling of Evan lounging in my sitting room with me had felt so real. Like it really happened, like an actual memory. Was it a memory? But we had been dressed as we are today; me in this emerald taffeta dress, and Evan in his impeccably tailored slate suit. It was while I watched Sun Paw set my dinner down on one of the small tables in my sitting room, and as I swung my legs over the side of my bed that the precise and neat penmanship caught my eye. The envelope was leaning against the floral printed ceramic based oil lamp on my bedside table. The penmanship was different from the notes I’d received from Gerald. It was sealed with red wax which was stamped with the calligraphic letters EC. It was from Evan. I opened it carefully, and read the simple note over and over again.
My darling Cordelia,
I will wait forever for you.
Loving you eternally,
Evan
Sigh.
I focused, desperately not wanting to permit a pessimistic thought to invade my head. I allowed myself to be dreamy, and fantasize about weddings, and happily ever after. I allowed myself to look fondly into an uncertain future. I allowed myself to feel something that I had vowed not to succumb to, at least not yet. There was only one question to consider. Was I falling in love with a boy that I barely remembered?
TwentyFive
Demands
I barely ate my dinner which consisted of some type of meat wrapped in green leafy spinach with a creamy type of sauce dripped over it. I sat in front of my vanity, and stared at myself. I removed the gemstone encrusted comb from my hair, and watched the waves gently tumble down passed my shoulders, hanging halfway down my back. I fiddled with the lace trim that edged the scooped neckline of my taffeta dress. I traced the lace over and over with my fingers. I marveled how the hue of my dress brought out the emerald in my eyes. Looking at myself I noticed the crooked smile on my face as my thoughts continued to linger on Evan.
Against my better judgment, at one point I allowed a pessimistic thought to corrupt my psyche. I thought joy and happiness may never exist for Evan and I, if fate had an entirely different plan for us. So much evil surrounded us. We weren't the average teenagers of this day or anytime period. We looked like teenagers with centuries and centuries of knowledge regarding the entities that desire the power which had been vested in Evan, and especially the powers vested in me by the gods. Could we survive this precarious life? Could love keep us sane?
I didn't know the answers and neither did Evan, but he was willing to make any and all the sacrifices necessary to see to my happiness and my safety. I was pleasantly surprised by his devotion to me, but more for his devotion to protect this earth from evil. Evan’s passion for his family was extraordinary.
His strength was a major attraction for me since the first time I had seen Evan in my dream. I felt safe when I was with him. I couldn’t look into his eyes, and not bask in the warmth that emanated from them. When Evan held me in the parlor, I thought that I would melt away into a pool of water. I was thinking that I’d be fine with that being that he was a son of Poseidon. I didn’t want to rush this… whatever this was. I still needed to hear what Winston had to say.
I picked up my gilded hair brush, and ran it through my silky auburn hair. I pinned it back up with a sparkling gem stoned comb, and admired at how good I’d gotten at pinning a perfect bun. I was proud of myself for being able to imitate the style perfectly. I felt it, and winced. The sharp frosty chill crept up my spine, and filled the room. Then I saw it. The image appeared in my mirror like a veil blowing in the wind. It was a misty vapor that took on an opaque shape. Now the opaque vapor filled out into the distinctive shape of a tall young man. He was here in my room. The room had grown frigid as any room did when he was in it. Winston was here to tell me what he knew I was still so desperate to know. But I needed something else from him as well. I hoped that he was willing to help me.
“I hope that I'm not tardy for our meeting?” Winston said, doing his worst impression at being coy after appearing unexpectedly by my fireplace. I got up from the vanity, and quickly threw a couple of logs into it, and lit the fireplace without saying a word. The fire crackled loudly as if in protest of Winston’s presence. He leaned nonchalantly against the mantle, and looked at the clock my father had brought back from his trip to France. I was starting to thaw though slowly.
“No, you’re right on time, Winston.” I sat in the chair closest to the fireplace. I motioned for him to take a seat as well, and he did. I wanted to get right down to business with this odd specter.
“I would like you to fill me in on what you know about my family. I understand clearly that there is a price for this.” I said, flatly.
“We are friends are we not?”
“I’d hardly consider us to be friends, Winston.”
“No?”
“We can help each other,” I said.
“Certainly. We can do this cordially I believe.” He said, with an aggressive edge to his voice which he quickly tried to mask. I didn’t care for the idea of him beating around the bush.
“Name your price Winston.” I demanded, lightly and expressionless. I tried very hard to maintain a poker face.
“I know that once you have assessed your powers, your capabilities will not be matched by any other.” Winston declared. I didn't say a word, and instead stared him down as he chortled nervously.
“I want to live again, but of course you already know that.” Winston continued smugly. What a way to win me over I thought.
“I guess I did.” I admitted, casually. He appeared a little more relaxed now that the cat was out of the bag.
“How do I know that once I tell you everything that I know, that you’ll honor your part of the agreement?” Winston asked, as he eyed me cautiously.
I wondered why Winston didn't trust me. Had I done something in the past that deemed me untrustworthy? I doubt it. Well the feeling was mutual.
Winston was known to be a pompous knowsitall, a habitual liar, and a thief. But this time he was right. I had no intention of giving him a renewal on a life which he had been so careless with.
“I guess the same way that I know that all you tell me is true. I don't. I suppose it's a risk we both have to take.” I answered, coldly watching his every move.
Undoubtedly, Winston was more desperate than I was, and we both knew it. The truth about my existence would undoubtedly be revealed sooner or later. The truth always had an amusing way of doing so. The notion that I may be willing to wait, and find the truth on my own, seemed to frighten Winston. What he wanted was greatly out of reach. According to the Capius’, I’m the only Ischero, who could grant Winston what he starved for every second of his horrifying existence as a ghost, spirit, specter – whichever he preferred to be called.
“I suppose, I don't have a choice. I’ll tell you everything but first I’ll take you to where they are meeting tonight.”
“Who?”
“The families. Your family.” My mouth dropped. I was aware that there would be a meeting; a council is what Evan had called it the other night when I overheard him and Nikolas conversing. I just had no idea when and where it would be taking place. These meetings were top secret, and where never announced until they were about to take place.
“Now?”
“Yes, the meeting is already underway. It’s being held beneath the Tieron mine, the mine belonging to your family. Shall we?” Winston said, as he started walking toward the doors.
Beneath the mine?
Winston held out his arm so that I could weave my arm through it. I wondered if this was such a good idea. I had no idea how we’d be getting there. I eyed Winston suspiciously, and then loosely wove my arm through his as he walked through the wall. Surprisingly, I was able to walk through it too. On the other side of the wall, I found myself standing next to Winston in a dark cave like mine dimly lit by lanterns which hung from chunky nails. The nails were hammered into thick wooden beams along the dirt and stone walls. Somehow I knew that it was the same place I had fallen into from the virtual door of the parlor in the house that I grew up in, on the night I made the discovery of the diaries. It was just one of the numerous mines which belonged to my family. Its tunnels ran beneath the Sierras.