Best Of Everything (2 page)

And then Jeremy is rushing into the spotlight, wearing a cape and a mask. When he begins singing, I forget my cares, or at least park them in my subconscious. He’s beyond brilliant, as expected, and when the last note dies the crowd gives him a standing ovation. I join in and smile when he offers the audience a small bow, his trademark smirk on his face, and then swishes his cape theatrically and stalks offstage.

The first act is over in a blink, and I’m left with my ugly thoughts during intermission, which seems to last forever. I check my phone in case I’d missed it vibrating, but there haven’t been any calls or messages, and my heart sinks when the mezzanine bell rings and everyone troops back into the theater for the second act. I feel abandoned and lonely, surrounded by several thousand strangers. My mind is churning over Derek’s expression as he told me he’d see me later. When I close my eyes, all I can see is Lisa’s face with that smug look of satisfaction on it, as real as the music swelling from the orchestra pit, and it’s all I can do to keep the sour tang of bile down as the lights dim and the second act starts.

The show is breathtaking, though, and by the finale I’m ready to bawl my eyes out. I might be a tough-as-nails street chick, but I’ve always been a big baby when it comes to sad endings – I tear up during most Disney flicks. The applause goes on for hours, it feels like. Jeremy takes several curtain calls, and then, if it’s not my imagination, gives me a wink before returning to his moment of glory.

The audience rises and files out of the theater, and I go to the backstage entrance, as Jeremy suggested. There’s a small crowd there, and I check my cell again as I wait to get through. There are two messages from Melody. My stomach drops as I read the first.

Mel:
I just saw on twitter Derek’s got a kid. Whassup wit dat?

Me:
You know as much as I do.

Mel:
U slap that ho down. Fo reals.

Me:
I’ll bear that in mind when I see him again.

Mel:
Sucks. #Lifeishard

I look up and find myself face-to-face with a tall Hispanic man sporting a trimmed goatee and a thin line where his lips should be.

“Yes?” he asks with a condescending tone.

“I’m on Jeremy’s list. Sage?”

His eyes flicker in recognition and his whole demeanor changes. “Oh my. Of course. I’m a huge fan. You were sick on that show. Totally rocked it.”

“Um, thanks.” I eye the door behind him. “Can I…?”

“Sure. Sorry.” He lifts the rope and motions me to the door and readopts his stern attitude for the next hopeful.

The backstage area is pandemonium, people laughing and talking and champagne corks popping. I spy Jeremy near one of the dressing rooms, wearing a green silk robe and posturing like a silent film star before an adoring group of admirers. He spots me and waves. I approach and he hugs me like it’s been years.

“Dahling. I’m so glad you made it. Where’s the boy toy?”

I glance at the others and shrug. “He got held up.” I change the subject. “You were awesome. I mean, really.”

“Of course I was. It’s my job.” He turns to his friends. “Everyone, this is Sage. You probably recognize her from the talent show. If you don’t, you’ll soon hear all about her – the biggest sensation since Madonna.”

I offer a small smile. “Jeremy likes to exaggerate.”

“Nonsense. This little bit of thang has more talent in her little finger than the whole of New York. She’s destined for fame and fortune. And I’m not just saying that because I’m hoping she springs for a late dinner.” He offers a wide grin.

“Sounds like a date,” I say. I could use the time alone to get his read on Derek. I realize he hasn’t been monitoring social media for news of my love life – so unlike Melody, who’s got better coverage than the NSA, he has no idea what just happened. “How long are you going to be?”

“Two shakes of a lamb’s tail. I just need to get out of this greasepaint and lavish some of my adoring fans with my presence. Can you wait maybe…twenty minutes?” he asks. I know he means thirty.

“Sure.” I turn to his entourage, mostly other attractive young men. “Nice meeting everyone.” I’m in no mood to chitty chat, so I find a quiet corner and park myself there. A reed-thin man in a tuxedo comes over to me with a tray and offers me a full champagne glass, and I take it. It’s been that kind of night.

Jeremy finally emerges from his dressing room and joins me. I stretched the champagne as long as I could, and my reward is a headache and a sour taste in the back of my throat.

“So, girlfriend, you ready to rock and roll?”

“Yeah. Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a deli that’s open till all hours only a block away. Food to die for.”

“Lead the way.”

The restaurant is a dive, but he’s right, the food’s awesome. We split a sandwich that’s big enough to feed half the city, and after some small talk I tell him about Lisa’s surprise. His mouth makes an O and he shakes his head.

“Wow, party over, huh? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know there’s anything for me to do. It’s not like I had the baby.”

“No, but it makes things more complicated, doesn’t it?”

“That’s the understatement of the year.”

“He must be freaking out. Where is he?”

“With her.”

“Ouch. How are you holding up?” he asks, studying me.

“I don’t know. I think I’m still in shock. I mean, this just happened.”

“And tomorrow’s your last night here. Talk about a buzz kill.” He glances at his watch. “You want to gorge yourself on chocolate and watch
Cabaret
with me again?”

I laugh. “That’s not how I thought I’d be spending my night.”

“Has he called?”

“No.” I know I sound irritated.

“Okay, then, let’s pay up and hit it. I have a box of Belgians stashed in my boudoir for when I’m having a sad day. In case of tragedy, break seal.”

“How’s your love life doing?” I ask as he signals for the bill.

“Complicated. My Mr. Right Now is all that, but he’s got issues.”

“Don’t we all?”

“This is kind of a big one. The M word.”

I think quickly. “Mexican? Mutant?”

“Married.” He frowns.

“That’s legal here now, right?”

“Oh, sweetie, you’re so cute.” He scowls. “It’s worse than that. He’s married to a woman.”

“But I thought…” I stop. I can see the problem. “I see. She doesn’t know.”

He shakes his head. “The man looks like Ricky Martin and loves show tunes more than I do, but no, apparently she’s oblivious. Like I said: complicated.”

“Poor thing. And he’s cheating on her,” I say, and immediately regret it. But I can’t help it – I can too easily put myself in the wife’s position. I hope I don’t sound judgmental.

“I know. He’s completely torn up by it. Or so he says. I told him he should just tell her and be done with it – what’s the point in living a lie? This isn’t 1952. But he’s a totally straight-laced Wall Street banker guy, and I get the impression that he’s where he is because of her family… Oh, Sage. Nothing’s easy, is it?”

We decide to hail a taxi, and as we make our way downtown in the nighttime traffic, we’re both silent, lost in our thoughts.

Jeremy’s right about one thing.

Nothing’s easy. Ever. But for Derek and me, it just got a whole lot harder.

Chapter 2

My cell vibrates as the taxi pulls up to our building. Jeremy pays the driver while I fumble it out of my jacket and look at the screen. It’s Derek.

“Hey,” I say. Jeremy tactfully slides out of the cab.

“Hey. Sorry it took so long.”

“You had a lot of catching up to do,” I say, trying not to sound bitter. Epic fail on that.

“Where are you?”

“At home.”

“Can I come over?”

My response catches in my throat. Part of me wants to say, of course, get over here right now – clothes optional – but another part doesn’t want to see him. I can feel the inner conflict, and I don’t say anything. The driver glances at me in his mirror and raises an eyebrow. “You want to go somewhere, or is this it?” he asks.

I take the hint and swing my door open. Jeremy’s waiting for me on the stoop. Derek’s voice comes back over the line. “Did you hear me?”

I can’t just stare at the phone and breathe heavily. I have to make a decision. I flew all the way across the country to spend precious hours with Derek, and now I’m waffling?

“Sure. I’ll stay up. Buzz me when you’re downstairs.”

We tromp up to the apartment. Jeremy disappears into his room and emerges moments later with a small black box of chocolates. I want to cry, but instead I sit and wait for him to plop down next to me. I select a truffle and bite into it – I can tell it’s super high quality, but it still tastes chalky and flat to me. Jeremy nibbles at a wafer and gives me an expectant look.

“Was that Mr. Man?”

“Yes. He’ll be by soon.”

“Ah, well, then no Liza tonight. Such is life. How did he sound?”

Fair question. I consider an appropriate word before answering. “Defeated.”

Jeremy nods. “Can’t imagine eighteen with a baby is going to boost anyone’s spirits. He probably feels like the world kicked him in the jewels. Lord knows I would.”

“Especially with everything going on. The tour starting soon, and…”

Jeremy fixes me with a frank stare. “And the two of you becoming, how shall we say it tactfully, an item?”

“That too.”

“Well, sweetie, I’m going to leave you to prepare for his arrival. I love drama as much as the next girl, but this is a little too heavy. And I’ve got my own cross to bear.”

I try a smile. “What’s his name, anyway?”

“Eric. And he looks like an Eric. Only better. Eric with whipped cream on top.”

“Sounds serious.”

Jeremy sighs. “You have no idea.”

“Thanks for putting us on the list. I really did think the show was incredible. I can see why your reviews are so good.”

“If your scheme is to be nice so I’ll leave the chocolates with you, it’s not going to work.” He stands.

“Am I that obvious?”

He touches the corner of his mouth with his little finger. “You have chocolate here,” he says.

I move my hand to my face and then stop, giving him a sidelong glance. “Liar.”

He sighs again. “I must be losing my edge. I’ll have to work on that.”

“Good night, Jeremy. Thanks again.”

“My pleasure,
ma chère
. All in a day’s work.” Jeremy leans over and gives me a chaste peck on the cheek and then sashays to his room, candy in hand. I watch him and shake my head. I’m lucky to have such a good friend. True, his life’s as chaotic as mine, but he’s a genuinely good guy and means well. And he’s obviously torn up by his situation with Eric, just as I am with Derek. If nothing else, we can commiserate – misery does love company.

I return to Melody’s message as I wait for Derek.

Me:
So WWMD?

She responds almost instantaneously.

Mel:
Stand by your man. And kick that biatch to the curb.

Me:
Easier said.

Mel:
LIAB.

Me:
???

Mel:
Love is a battlefield. Bring out the nukes.

Melody’s not going to be much help, I can see.

Me:
So sex?

Mel:
Always. You’re his woman now.

Me:
Tell his kid that.

Mel:
Details.

My phone vibrates. Derek’s calling.

Me:
Gotta go.

I get up and press the intercom button for several seconds to open the door downstairs, and when I hear Derek’s boots on the stairs, unlock the deadbolts. He looks like he’s been through hell, which he probably has over the last few hours.

I hold the door open and he steps inside. Before I know what’s happening, his strong arms are wrapped around me. He smells like that unique combination of leather, shampoo, and musk that is Derek, and as conflicted as I am, my arms slip around his waist and I lean my head back. His lips descend to mine and connect, and I’m lost.

After what seems like hours I pull back and stare him full in the eyes. “Want to tell me what happened?”

He exhales noisily and the moment’s over. Both of us return to the real world as abruptly as if we’ve been plunged into ice water. Derek moves to the couch and strips off his jacket.

“Is Jeremy home?”

I nod. “He crashed.”

“How was the show?”

“Amazeballs. You missed out.” I sit on the sofa next to him, but not right next to him. The slim strip of fabric between us might as well be radioactive. “How did it go with what’s her name?”

“Lisa.” He seems to be trying to find the right words, and when he speaks, his voice is uncertain. “We hung out together when I was in Seattle. For like, a month. She was on the street too and wasn’t doing so great. Getting hassled all the time. I stood up for her, and we hooked up.” He shrugged. “It was no big deal. Neither of us was…it was real easygoing. No future in it, but it worked at the time.”

“What happened?”

“I told her I was going to bail on the city, and she went back home. She hates her mom, but I guess they made up because I never heard from her again.”

“Right. But she went home with a surprise,” I say flatly.

“She says she didn’t even know she was pregnant for a few months.”

I roll my eyes. “Sure. It’s not like there aren’t any signs, Derek.”

“Apparently she thought her body was being funky when she missed her first period, and then she says she wasn’t paying attention when she missed her second.”

“Wasn’t paying attention? That’s bullshit. I mean, it’s not like you have to put it on the calendar. I kind of know how it works.”

“She says she had a lot of other stuff happening. Going back to school. Making peace with mom.”

“Okay…so then she finds out she’s pregnant.”

“Right. And I’m gone. She doesn’t know where. I told her maybe Las Vegas, maybe Los Angeles, maybe San Francisco. So now she’s pregnant, no dad around. Needless to say, that didn’t do wonders for her relationship with her mother.”