“Yeah. I need to know what I did. Exactly how far I went with you if I’m ever going to get over this.”
“Then…there might be a way to find out,” I said cautiously.
“How?” He looked up at me. “I’ll do anything, Cass. I
need
to know.”
“I can’t tell you,” I said, daring to take his hand in mine. I was encouraged when he didn’t pull it back. “But maybe…maybe I can show you?”
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I think I’d remember better if we, well, if we reenacted what went on. Hear me out,” I continued hastily when he started to pull away. “These memories are much more visceral than verbal—for both of us, I think. And if we do it this way, I can tell you to stop at the right moment, and you’ll know exactly how far you—we—went.”
“I don’t know.” He spoke in a low voice. “Do it all again? Even…even putting my cock inside you?”
I lifted my chin. “If we have to, yes. Look, we know you were in me, Josh. The question is how deep and how much…how much actually happened.”
“And you don’t mind?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “You don’t mind letting me actually touch you and put my cock in your pussy?”
“I’m more than willing.” I raised my chin and gave him a level look. “I
want
to do it.”
“What?” He looked at me in disbelief. “Why?”
“Because I love you, Josh.” I squeezed his big hand between my smaller ones. “And maybe if you do this and you see I don’t hate it, don’t find it wrong or repellent, you’ll understand that. And you’ll be able to forgive yourself…no matter how far we went together. Or how far we have to go to find out.”
For a moment I saw his heart shining in his eyes. “Oh Cassie,” he murmured and stroked my cheek. “Are you sure?”
“It’s the only way,” I said simply. “Do you want to do this with me or not?”
He looked away from me, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah,” he said in a low, harsh voice. “I shouldn’t, damn it. But yes, I do.”
“Good.” I could see that his guilt was making an ugly comeback, and I wanted to get started with our reenactment before it could completely incapacitate him. “Then let’s do it.”
“What—now?”
“Why not?” I said. “Go out of the tent and come in. I’ll pretend you’re the…that you’re in an altered state of mind, and we can take it from there.”
He sighed. “All right, Cass. If you’re sure about this.”
I cupped his cheek and kissed him lightly on the lips. “I’ve never been more sure about anything,” I whispered.
I sent him out of the tent and then settled back on the sleeping bag, waiting. Would my plan work? Would I be able to get Josh to go far enough to reunite the two halves of his mind? And was there any chance of salvaging our relationship afterward?
I was about to find out.
Chapter Twelve
Josh gave me five minutes and then came back into the tent. “All right. Here I am. Now what do you do?”
“This.” Lying back, I pulled up my shirt, baring my breasts for him. I was ashamed to see that my nipples were already tight with desire, and from the look in Josh’s eyes, he didn’t miss that detail, either. But despite my embarrassment, there was nothing I could do but continue.
I reached down and pulled up my short skirt all the way to my waist to reveal my naked pussy. I even spread my legs a tiny bit, to show how wet and swollen my little cunt was already becoming. It was important to be accurate, I told myself, as I watched Josh’s eyes widen while he took me in.
Josh looked at me in disbelief, his gaze lingering on my hard nipples and the slippery pink of my inner cunt, just barely revealed by my swollen outer pussy lips. A hint of my clit was visible, and his eyes seemed to linger longest on that.
“So…you just open your clothes and lay there and let me…let me what?” He crouched down beside me. “Do I…do I do this?” Hesitantly he reached down to cup one naked breast.
I bit my lip and tried to stifle a moan. “Yes,” I whispered. “That was how it started, you…touching me there. And then you wanted to…to do more.”
“Like this?” Keeping his eyes locked with mine, Josh lowered himself to the sleeping bag beside me and leaned down to lap hesitantly at one tight nipple.
I moaned softly as sparks of pleasure flew through my entire body. “Yes,” I murmured. “But…more.”
“Like this, then? Did I suck them?” Without waiting for my reply, Josh sucked one of my tight nipples into his mouth and laved it gently with his tongue.
I cried out breathlessly and nodded. Though he had done this many times already, somehow it felt even better and more pleasurable this time—maybe because Josh was in his right mind and we both knew what he was doing. For whatever reason, I could feel my pussy getting wetter and hotter than ever before.
“I probably sucked the other one too, didn’t I?” Josh growled, just before switching breasts. “God, I can’t believe I did this to you. Can’t believe you let me do it.” But he went back to sucking and when one of his large, warm hands stroked down from the curve of my breast and came to rest on my trembling belly, I didn’t try to push it off. Instead, I spread my legs for him.
“Josh…” I whispered breathlessly. “If you’re asking if you—”
“If I fingered your pussy?” he asked roughly, his hand sliding down to cup my mound. “Did I, Cass? Did I spread open your hot, little cunt lips and explore your sweet pussy?”
As he spoke, he suited actions to words, his thick fingers sliding over my wet folds. I arched my back and gasped as he found my clit and circled it with one fingertip, teasing it mercilessly.
I nodded. “Yes…you…you did,” I admitted, trying not to moan at the illicit pleasure of his fingers exploring my cunt. “You…you did that a lot. I remember now.”
“And did I go inside you too? Did I slide my fingers into you?” he demanded, still circling my clit.
I bit my lip. “I don’t know. Do it, Josh. I need to feel you touching me there—inside—to be sure.”
“All right.” Two long, thick fingers breached my entrance, and he began to pump slowly into me. “Does this feel familiar?” he growled, looking into my eyes. “Did I do this? Did I finger-fuck you, Cassandra?”
“Yes, Josh, yes!” I moaned, unable to help myself now. God, it felt so good, so right somehow to have Josh’s fingers pistoning in and out of me, filling my cunt and making me need to come. The only thing that could feel more right would be…
“My tongue,” Josh finished my thought without knowing it. He was looking into my eyes as he withdrew his fingers. “I remember that from my dreams. Did I go down on you, Cassandra? Did I put my tongue inside you too?”
My cheeks heated with a blush. “Josh, if you don’t want to…to try that…”
“No, I need to know it all. Besides,” he added in a low voice, “I
want
to, Cass. God help me, but I want to taste your sweet little pussy.”
I felt my breath catch in my throat, but before I could answer he was between my legs, his broad shoulders splitting my thighs wide as he bent to taste me. I moaned softly in mingled pleasure and trepidation as his hot, wet tongue dragged over my slick petals in a long, leisurely lick. As the Beast, he had gone down on me with a single-minded ferocity that was pleasurable but a little frightening. But now that he was in his right mind, Josh seemed to want to take his time, to linger and enjoy the act of spreading and tasting my naked cunt.
By the time he lifted my hips and thrust his tongue deep inside me, I was past caring about anything else. I gripped his hair tightly and pressed my pussy to his mouth, bucking shamelessly as I rode his tongue toward orgasm. Josh seemed to know exactly what to do—even though he had no conscious memory of going down on me, he obviously had a primal, unconscious knowledge of how to make me come.
And come I did—all over his face. Arching my back and bucking my hips, I cried my pleasure as he lapped at me eagerly. God, it felt so good—so
right
. If only I could convince Josh of the rightness as well…
Josh rode out my orgasm, as he always did, lapping eagerly to catch the fresh wetness as my pussy got even hotter. Then he pulled back and looked at me.
“I take it you remember having my tongue in you?” he rasped.
“Yes,” I whispered, stroking his hair. “Yes, Josh, that was very…very familiar.”
He frowned at me. “I put my cock in you too.”
My heart skipped a beat at his blatant words. Biting my lip, I nodded. There was no use denying it—he’d come back to himself with his cock inside me. And, I realized, I wanted him there again. No,
needed
him there again. “Yes, Josh,” I murmured. “Yes, you put your cock inside me.”
He sighed. “The only question is how much. You said I wasn’t all the way in you,” he pointed out. Lifting my chin, he looked in my eyes. “How deep did I go, Cassandra? Please, can’t you just tell me?”
“I’m sorry, Josh.” I shook my head. “I really don’t know…I won’t know until you…”
“Until I do it again.”
“And besides, even if I remembered well enough to put it into words, I still couldn’t tell you exactly without feeling it again. Feeling you…inside me,” I whispered, my cheeks getting hot as I spoke.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “I have to ask you again before I do this—do you really want me to penetrate you? Do you really want me to put my cock inside your pussy?”
I felt like my cheeks were on fire with desire and shame, but I nodded all the same. “You could…you know, just slide it in slowly,” I whispered, not looking at him. “And I could…could tell you where to stop.”
“And you don’t mind me doing that?” he demanded. It was as though he needed to hear me say it over and over before he could believe it. “You don’t mind spreading your legs for my cock?”
“You’ve already done it once,” I pointed out softly. “And if you really need to know…there’s no other way I can accurately tell you, Josh. Here…” Blushing, I spread my legs wider, giving him better access to my wet, slippery pussy. “I…I don’t mind,” I told him. “You can do it…you can put yourself inside me if you want to.”
Josh looked conflicted, but his eyes wouldn’t leave my wet, open pussy. “I guess I need to, if I’m ever going to know how far we went,” he muttered.
“It’s the only way,” I told him again. I reached up and stroked his cheek. “Really, Josh,” I murmured, meeting his eyes. “It’s all right. I don’t mind.”
He hesitated, then seemed to make a decision. Reaching for the fastening of his pants, he looked at me once more. “All right then, if you’re sure…”
I nodded. “I’m sure. Go ahead.”
“Okay.” Slowly he drew out his cock. Despite his assertion that he didn’t want to do this, his shaft was long and hard with a drop of precum already glimmering on its broad head. “I guess we already know I wasn’t wearing a condom or any kind of fluid shield,” he said, frowning down at his naked cock. “My subconscious lust apparently isn’t that considerate.”
“No condom.” I shook my head. “You just…just put it in.”
He sighed. “Well, I guess to be accurate I should just ‘put it in’ again.”
“Yes.” I nodded, ashamed that the idea of having his naked cock in my unprotected pussy gave me an erotic thrill. “Yes, I think you should.”
“It’s a risk, though, Cass,” he pointed out, even as he positioned himself between my thighs. “Doing this with nothing between us. Putting my bare cock in your naked pussy.”
“I know.” I bit my lip—he wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t already thought of. “But I’m not sure I could tell if you were…you know, where you were before if you wore a condom.”
“I’ll leave it off, then,” Josh decided. He looked at me seriously. “I know I had you on your hands and knees before, but I think this way is better. You can watch as I penetrate you and try to tell me when to stop. In fact, here…” He took one of the pillows from the other end of the sleeping bag and propped it under my ass, raising my bare pussy so we could both see it clearly as I lay on my back. “Much better,” he said.
“Much,” I agreed breathlessly. “I guess…guess you’d better get started.”
“All right. Spread a little wider, Cass,” he said, rubbing the head of his cock over my slippery folds. I moaned and did as he said. “Good,” he murmured, finding my entrance. “Can you see what I’m doing?”
I nodded, unable to speak. Yes, I could see the wide tip of his shaft lodged in the entrance to my cunt. I couldn’t look at anything else.
“Good,” Josh said softly. “Then watch while I put it in and let me know when to stop.”
I couldn’t have looked away for anything. Mesmerized, I watched as the broad head of Josh’s cock pierced my naked cunt. Slowly, inch by inch, he slid inside me, stretching my pussy to the limit with his thick shaft.
I watched it go in, moaning softly as he filled me. God, he was so long and thick—our earlier encounter had been so rapid and so quickly over, I hadn’t really gotten a chance to appreciate his size and girth. Now, with his shaft stretching me wide, I could feel how huge he really was. But though his thick cock was hard to take, I found I liked having it in me. Liked spreading my thighs for Josh and letting him push the broad shaft deep inside my pussy and fill me with himself.
Josh went slowly and when I didn’t say anything, he stopped and looked at my face. “I’m at the halfway point here, Cassandra. Was I deeper than this?”
I was nearly panting with need. “Yes, Josh. I…I’m afraid you were.”
“This far then?” Pressing carefully inward, he entered me another two inches.
This is it. This is where he actually was before he went limp, and I pushed him in deeper when I was trying to get away.
But if I told Josh that, he would stop right now, and I needed him to go farther—to go all the way.
Biting my lip, I looked up at him. “I’m not sure but I think…think you were deeper.”
“Like this?” Slowly he slid forward until the last thick inch of his cock disappeared into my tightly stretched pussy.
I moaned breathlessly as I felt him bottom out inside me. This was it, I realized. What had happened last time, while I was trying to get away from him, had been an accident. But now Josh was penetrating me fully on purpose and both of us wanted it.
Slowly, the thought hit home. Josh had made me a woman—he had his thick cock thrust to the hilt in my pussy and even now he was probably leaking drops of precum right inside my inner cunt. But somehow I couldn’t make myself feel guilty. Having Josh fill me felt too good for that—I never wanted it to stop.