Authors: Holly Hughes

Best Food Writing 2015 (37 page)

B
Y
A
NTHONY
B
OURDAIN

From
Lucky Peach

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
In 2000, Anthony Bourdain's
Kitchen Confidential
roiled the restaurant industry, inspired a gonzo school of food writing, and launched his own career as a TV host and food personality (his current gig is The Travel Channel's
No Reservations
). But he isn't always the culinary bad boyâhere he waxes mellow and downright nostalgic.

From one end of town to the other, one-pound bricks of butter melt slowly into metal crocksâthick layers of white froth gathering on the surface. In the bars, the seasonal visitors drink Heineken out of chilled bottles. The townies drink Bud Light.

The smell, when you walk down the street, is of french fries, cooked in the same hot grease as the clamsâthough CLAM STRIPS is what it says on the #10 cans they come in. They are dunked into banks of deep fryers by the same people who do the roofing and house painting in the spring. French fries and clam strips are joined in the bubbling oil by scallops and shrimp, flounder fillets, and rings of squid, all coated in the same universal breading. By the town pier there are funnel cakes and the fudge shop, adding a sickly sweet note to the airborne miasma of atomized fat. As you walk down Main Street after the dinner rush, past the Shell Shop, the Shirt Shop, the Dinghy Dock, Neptune Lounge, Olde Towne Tavern, Cap'n Barnes Galley Bar, Candles 'N' Things, Reggie's Pizza, the Scupper, you hear the clatter of hundreds of lobster carcasses scraping against heavy Buffalo China plates.

Tomorrow morning, former cheerleaders from the local high school will cut lemons into wedges, fill bowls with pilot biscuits in little plastic wrappers, pluck sprigs of curly parsley and float them in ice water. They'll line up monkey dishes and ramekins, top off the ketchup bottles, restock the lobster bibs, fold napkins, and gather around garbage stockades in rear parking lots to smoke and gossip about last night.

I'm six years old, playing with molded plastic army men in the beach grass of the dunes. Here comes the truck that sprays insecticide in a huge, smoky cloud from its rear; I join the other children from the block, running in its wake. For dinner, there will be mussels and steamed lobster, corn on the cob, Jersey tomatoes.

I'm twelve years old, same dunes, smoking pilfered menthol cigarettes with some girls who are older than me. For dinner, there will be pan-fried tails of the blowfish I caught off the dock, or takeout pizza. Somebody's dad will fire up the grill and cook hamburgers and hot dogs in a backyard of pebbles and crushed seashells. The adults will get tipsy and play charades or rummy or Mille Bornes or whatever game is popular that summer. The kids will slip off into the dark to build fires on the beach.

I'm seventeen years old, “wrapping the bakes” in the cellar of the RipTide Loungeâthere's a sinkful of potatoes I am detailed to seal in portion-controlled squares of tinfoil, which I'll then pierce with a fork. After that, I'll pull the muscles off a bushel of sticky sea scallops, wash the spinach and romaine, dodge the pots and pans the cooks throw into the pot sink next to me. Then it's bust suds, dive for pearls (wash dishes) from five to midnight, then mop the kitchen, strip the stove, drag the mats out into the parking lot to hose them down. Then it's the glorious walk home. The town's other restaurants are closing down tooâdishwashers running their last loads, bar customers with raised voices laughing at unheard jokes, the clatter of plates loaded into trays, boat whistles, the occasional foghorn.

I'm eighteen years old and the menu is clam chowder, kale soup, shrimp cocktail, lobster salad, Caesar salad, oysters on the half, clams on the half, broiled fish, fried fish, fisherman's platter, steamed cherrystones, squid stew, cioppino, steamed mussels in red sauce, steamed mussels in white wine, steamed lobster, broiled lobster, stuffed lobster,
stuffed flounder, broiled bluefish, haddock amandine, New York strip, ribeye. I can cook the whole menu and think I'm fucking Escoffier.

The striped bass are running and I score a twenty-pounder off the manager, who's got more than he can use. A storm is kicking up, and the big rollers are coming in just outside our summer rental, the ocean foaming and hissing past and around it onto the county road. My girlfriend, my friends, and housemates gather, and I roast the whole bass on foil, haul it out onto the deck where we squeeze lemons over it, tear at it with our fingers, gape in wonder at the dark and ferocious surf.

Out on the highway (the old one, not the new one), between Tumble Town and the miniature golf, there's Ed's Lobster Roll, the A&W Root Beer stand, and the Dairy King. At the pier, the Hurricane ride has been closed since a rumored decapitation a few years back but the bumper cars still run. The terrifying Zipper still separates its customers from the contents of their pockets and their stomachs.

Sullen, no-longer-young men stand all day at Skippers on the boardwalk, shirtlessâbellies protruding over their jeans, all faded tattoos and disappointmentâwearing work boots and drinking beers out of sixteen-ounce plastic cups, glaring ever more menacingly at passersby as the day wears on.

I'm fifty-seven. Another beach, a very different town, a long time and a long distance from the beaches of my childhood. My daughter's strapped in the car seat behind me and we've come from shopping. Today, I walk into the surf with her on my shoulders, the way my father once did with me. The waves are bigâa little too bigâand as we get deeper, she wears that same mix of terror and delight on her face that I once felt as a child. I hear myself saying the same things my father used to say: “Uh, oh! Here comes a big one! Hold your breath!”

We get knocked down. I lose her for a second, reach into the foam, and pull her, spluttering, back into my arms. “We got wiped out,” I say. “Creamed. Are you okay?”

She wants to cry but doesn't.

“You did everything right,” I say. “You held your breath. You stayed calm.”

“My eyes sting,” she says. And I hug her tight. Later, we stand at the kitchen counter of our summer rental, and I show her how to husk corn.
I let her salt the water in the big pot, show her how to tap the garlic with the side of the knife, slip it out of its skin. I put the steamers we bought at the store in another pot with a little white wine and crushed red pepper and the garlic, then put the lid on top.

When the corn is done, I put her to work rubbing each ear with a hunk of butter on the end of a fork. When the clams open, I strain off the liquid, run it through a cheesecloth.

We cover the table in newspapers, and put out the food. I show her how to pop the cooked clams from their shells, slip off the dark, socklike layer covering the foot, dip them first in the broth to wash off the grit, then in the clarified butter. She takes her first taste of my childhood.

“They're good, Dada,” she says.

And I am very happy.

Recipe Index
Recipe Index

Shepherd's Tacos (Tacos al Pastor) (from “In Search of the Perfect Taco”),
111

Ode to the Kronnerburger (from “The Secret Ingredient in the Perfect Burger Is . . .”),
141

Ragu Finto (from “RagÃ¹ Finto”),
146

Nashville Hot Chicken (from “Hot Country”),
170

Thai Grilled Chicken (from “The Story of Chicken”),
185

Chicken in Pandanus (from “The Story of Chicken”),
186

Fried Chicken and Andouille Gumbo (from “Gumbo Paradise”),
192

RagÃ¹ alla Bolognese (from “In Search of Ragu”),
207

Mexican Carnitas (from “How to Make Carnitas That Will Fix Everything That's Wrong In Your Sad, Horrible Life”),
213

Super Simple Friday Night Meatballs (from “Friday Night Meatballs: How to Change Your Life with Pasta”),
234

Pakistani Slow-Cooked Lamb Stew (from “Loving Spoonful”),
253

Brown Butter Apple Tart (from “I'm Just Trying to Keep Everyone Alive”),
257

Permissions Acknowledgments
Permissions Acknowledgments

Grateful acknowledgment is made to all those who gave permission for written material to appear in this book. Every effort has been made to trace and contact copyright holders. If an error or omission is brought to our notice, we will be pleased to remedy the situation in subsequent editions of this book. For further information, please contact the publisher.

Jacobsen, Rowan. “The Perfect Beast.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Rowan Jacobsen. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Outside
, January 2015.

Thelin, Emily Kaiser. “Growing a $30 Million Egg.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Emily Kaiser Thelin. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Food & Wine
, January 2015.

Vermillion, Allecia. “OMFG It's the PSL!” Copyright Â© 2014 by Allecia Vermillion. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Seattle Met
, September 2014.

Macias, Chris. “Maverick Wine Guru Tim Hanni Rethinks the Pour.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Chris Macias. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Sacramento Bee
, April 4, 2015.

Deseran, Sara. “Kids These Days.” Copyright Â© 2015 by DM Luxury LLC. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
San Francisco Magazine
, March 2015.

Haspel, Tamar. “How to Get People to Cook More? Get Eaters to Complain Less.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Tamar Haspel. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by The
Washington Post
, December 30, 2014.

Watson, Molly. “Cooking's Not for Everyone.” Copyright Â© 2015 Molly Watson. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Edible San Francisco
, Winter 2015.

Rodell, Besha. “Dinner Lab Hopes to Build the World's First
Data-Driven Restaurant. But Is That a Good Thing?” Copyright Â© 2014 by Besha Rodell. Used by permission of the LA Weekly, LP.

Strand, Oliver. “At Your Service?” Copyright Â© 2015 by Oliver Strand. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Food
, Issue #5.

Kliman, Todd. “Coding and Decoding Dinner.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Todd Kliman. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by the
Oxford American
, April 15, 2015.

Wells, Pete. “Waste Not, Want Not (and Pass the Fish Skin).” From the
New York Times
, April 1, 2015 Â© 2015 The New York Times. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited.

Junod, Tom. “The Last Supper: A Restaurant Obituary.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Tom Junod. Used by permission of the author. Originally published in
Esquire
, January/February 2015.

Sutton, Ryan. “No Chef in America Cooks Dinner Quite Like Phillip Foss.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Vox Media, Inc. Originally published on
Eater.com
, April 27, 2015.
http://www.eater.com/2015/4/27/8486425/phillip-foss-el-ideas-chicago
.

Gill, Nicholas. “The Meat Prophet of Peru.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Nicholas Gill. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Roads & Kingdoms
, August 25, 2014.

Gordinier, Jeff. “In Search of the Perfect Taco.” From the
New York Times
, 9/10/2014 Â© 2014 The New York Times. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited.

Alsup, Allison. “Table Lessons: The Queen of Creole Cooking Holds Court.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Allison Alsup. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Edible New Orleans
, December 15, 2014.

Brown, Nic. “Kitchen Diplomacy.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Nic Brown. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
Garden & Gun
, March 1, 2015.

LÃ³pez-Alt, J. Kenji. “The Truth About Cast Iron Pans: 7 Myths That
Need to Go Away.” Copyright Â© 2014 by J. Kenji LÃ³pez-Alt. Used by permission of the publisher. Originally published by
SeriousEats.com
, November 7, 2014.

Parsons, Russ. “Roasting a Chicken, One Sense at a Time.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Russ Parsons. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Finesse
, The Senses Issue, Volume Seven, by Thomas Keller.

Duane, Daniel. “The Secret Ingredient in the Perfect Burger Is . . .” Copyright Â© 2014 by Daniel Duane. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Food & Wine
, June 2014.

Peternell, Cal. “RagÃ¹ Finto.” Excerpt from
pp. 113
â
117
,
119
from Twelve Recipes by Cal Peternell. Copyright Â© 2014 by Cal Peternell. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.

Foster, Kim. “Serial Killer.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Kim Foster. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Kim-Foster.com
, February 3, 2015.

Kimble, Megan. “It's Not About the Bread.” Copyright Â© 2015 by Megan Kimble. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Edible Baja Arizona
, March-April 2015.

Edge, John T. “The Lunch Counter.” Copyright Â© 2014 by John T. Edge. Used by permission of the author. Originally published by
Garden & Gun
, June-July 2014.

Coates, Karen J. “a Story of Chicken.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Karen J. Coates. Used by permission of the author. First published in
The Cook's Cook: A Magazine for Cooks
, Food Writers & Recipe Testers, October-November 2014 (
TheCooksCook.com
).

Mora, NicolÃ¡s Medina. “How to Make Carnitas That Will Fix Everything That's Wrong in Your Sad, Horrible Life.” Copyright Â© 2014 by BuzzFeed, Inc. Used by permission of the copyright holder. Originally published by
BuzzFeed.com
, October 2, 2014.

Severson, Kim. “Mother's Cookbook Shares More Than Recipes.” From the
New York Times
, May 6, 2015 Â© 2015 The New York Times. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited.

DeVore, John. “Life in Chains: Finding Home at Taco Bell.” Copyright Â© 2014 by Vox Media, Inc. Originally published on
Eater.com
, November 5, 2014.
http://www.eater.com/2014/11/5/7155501/life-in-chains-kfc-taco-bell
.

Shahin, Jim. “The One Ingredient That Has Sustained Me During Bouts of Leukemia.” From the
Washington Post
, March 7, 2015 Â© 2015 Washington Post Company. All rights reserved. Used by permission and protected by the Copyright Laws of the United States. The printing, copying, redistribution, or retransmission of this Content without express written permission is prohibited.

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