Bend (A Stepbrother Romance) (24 page)

“Oh,” I said, my smile sliding into a grimace, “I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Can’t keep saying that forever, and nothing will wipe that stress off your face quite like getting laid. Think about it.”

“Thanks. I will,” I said, grinning broadly despite the fact that I wouldn’t take her up on that last offer. Penchant for matchmaking aside, Justine had been so amazing. I’d even had a photo in my very first gallery show thanks to her. Sure, it was just a coffee shop even, but it was still the coolest thing I’d ever done. People had looked at my work, surrounded by other really great photographer’s work, and someone had even bought the thing!

And in a week, I’d have one, single photo hanging in the corner of one of her new gallery shows. I was one featured amateur amongst many, just a side note on her big night, but it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.

I should have been on top of the world.

But home later, at night, I still felt the same emptiness I’d been feeling since leaving LA. Like I’d left part of me behind.

Some nights it ached more than others, and though time was having a healing effect I still hurt. Even five months later, I still missed Keir. I missed his touch; I missed hanging out with him, even arguing with him. I couldn’t make myself listen to his music anymore. It made me far too sad to hear his voice.

I wondered if he missed me. I wondered if he’d ever finished my song.

Mostly I wondered if I would ever get over him.

═ ♪ ♫ ♪ ═

Mom called the next morning after my meeting with Justine. I was on my way to my second job, waitressing at a downtown vegan restaurant called Veggie Bandits. It wasn’t glamorous and wasn’t what I had in mind when I graduated college, but it helped me make ends meet while I was still only an assistant.

“Hi, honey,” she said, dragging the words out with a long-suffering sigh. My heart skipped a beat. I knew that tone. This was the call I’d been avoiding thinking about, because I didn’t know how I was supposed to react to it, now.

“What’s up?” I asked her, though I already knew.

“Glenn and I are splitting up,” she said.

“I’m so sorry. What happened?”

“He works too much,” she said. I could practically hear her pout. “He never has time for me. So…” She sighed. “I’m moving home.”

“Philadelphia?” I asked.

“Yeah.” That would bring her closer to me. Close enough for easy weekend trips. “I’ll be staying with my sister until I recover.”

“Or until you meet a new guy,” I joked, though it wasn’t really a joke.

“You know me too well,” she giggled. “I hope you’ll come see me!”

“Let me know when you’re coming and I’ll meet you at the airport,” I said.

“That’s sweet. I’ll keep you updated.” She hesitated before saying, “Think you’ll speak to Keir?”

“I don’t think so, Mom,” I said, keeping my voice deliberately cheerful. “I’ve got to get back to work. Talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay! Love you!”

I hung up with shaking hands, quietly cursing the little spark of hope that came alive in my chest.
Dammit
. I was having such a hard time moving on, and now this news was making it even more impossible.

Not to mention that I was disappointed about the divorce itself. I really had thought that they were happy. Maybe she was telling the truth—maybe Glenn did just plain work too much. But maybe it was her. Maybe a leopard never really could change its spots.

What a mess.

I considered sending Keir a text just to find out if he knew yet, or what he thought about it, or if he wanted to talk about it—but every scenario in my head ended with him turning on me. And the last thing I wanted to do was drag up the memories of that humiliating sex tape. I never had watched it through and I never would. The thought of other people doing so made my stomach turn.

The thought of Keir watching it, though… it made my stomach flip in a different way.

Stop. It’s over. That chapter is over and that book is closed. My new life is here, and now. My dreams are coming true
.

That little spark of hope in my chest would die in its own time. I would just keep busy work hard until it did.
This is my life, now. Keir will never want to be a part of it
. I took a deep breath. Then another. The divorce changed nothing.
Maybe I should take Justine up on her offer, after all
.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Keir

This old suitcase, it

Fits my shit, but

There’s no room for yours

Five months was a long time in showbiz. Already people had forgotten about that stupid fucking tape. Already, Jackal’s Reign’s tour was just another blip in its history.

And it was fading. The live version of the band dissolved as soon as the last gig ended, and now? I was writing songs for other bands. I was
managing
other bands.

Jackal’s Reign had transformed from a rock band into an indie rock label, and I was loving being free of the public eye, free to write and work with music without so much of the bullshit of being in the public eye.

Cadence had inspired that, though she would never know it. She’d reinvented herself as soon as she’d gotten to New York.

And I was trying to do the same.

“Sounds good,” the young trio sitting before me in the crowded little rehearsal space agreed, nodding in unison. Zombie Dogs consisted of two guys and one girl and they were slowly gaining popularity thanks to her ethereal voice paired with my lyrics.

“When can we record it?” Ashley asked. She’d been flirting with me since we’d first met, though she’d toned it down once I’d signed the band and essentially became their manager—and their boss.

“Soon,” I said, “I’d like to have two more songs in the roster before we hit the studio. But this will sound good live, so I want you guys to start rehearsing it.”

Ashley’s smoky eyes lingered on mine as the other two members of her band began to set up their instruments. She was pretty. I’d even admit that she was sexy. But she wasn’t Cadence.

I couldn’t believe how long it was taking me to move on.
Thank God this new project keeps me so busy
. I’d slowly managed to banish her from my thoughts as work ramped up—until, at least, I heard about the divorce.

That phone call had catapulted her right back to the forefront of my mind.

“All right, you guys should be good,” I said, slapping down the sheet music for the new song in front of Ashley. “Catch up with you later. Call me if you have any problems.”

“Thanks, Keir,” they said.

Normally I would have stuck around to hear how they sounded, but I had a dinner appointment that night.

I was seeing my father for the first time since the divorce was decided on a week ago.

We met at an upscale restaurant called Savage. He was visibly deflated, poor guy.
It’s not as if I didn’t warn him that this would happen.

“How’s your new endeavor going?” he asked right away, eager to talk about anything but himself.

“It’s good,” I said. “I’m probably going to sign another band next week. Brings me up to four, which is crazy for a label’s first year.”

“Hell, it’s still your first six months,” Dad said, smiling proudly. “You’re going well. You look good.”

“Thanks,” I grumbled. I’d cleaned up my style for the most part, wearing jeans without holes and shirts with actual sleeves.

We ordered drinks, which arrived right away. He sipped his martini while I threw back my whiskey. It wouldn’t be enough to calm my jangled nerves but it was a start.

“And Lorna?” Dad asked, “How’s she doing?”

“Good.” I grinned. That was one bright spot. Things between my sister and I were shaky at first, but ever since I’d started my label and hired her on to hunt for new talent, we’d been getting along great. Between her and our grandparents, I had a new sense of family that I’d lacked before—one that I’d been missing without really knowing it.

“Victoria’s moving out next weekend,” he said, looking down at his hands.

“Good,” I growled.

He looked up sharply. “This wasn’t her fault. I know you’ve had a low opinion of her since the start, but she wasn’t as bad as you’re convinced she was.”

“You don’t have to explain,” I said, not wanting him to get upset.

“I think I do,” he said. “I loved her. And I let the relationship go because of work. That’s all there is to it, Keir. She’s no monster.”

“Come on,” I said. “Did she ever tell you what she did to Cadence?”

“She did,” he replied. “It was her wakeup call.”

“Oh.” That was surprising.

“See? You were wrong about her. Just like you’re all wrong about her daughter.”

“Now
that
I definitely don’t want to talk about,” I said. But Dad was shaking his head.

“The situation was fucked up, and I take at least some of the blame. I didn’t know whether trying to keep you apart was worse than letting you be together. Another decision I made based on work. And I shouldn’t have. I should have let you two figure it out on your own.”

“You say all this now?” I asked, signaling the waiter for another drink. “It’s a little late. And look what she ended up doing, anyway. Making and selling that tape.” I said it with little conviction, though. I’d accused her of seeking fame, but her reaction after the video’s release was the opposite of that. She’d practically gone into hiding.

“We’ve talked about this. I saw her that morning when it came out. Whatever it was that happened, there’s no way in hell she let it go public on purpose.”

I sighed. It had been recorded on her home computer, submitted from her work computer... I’d considered the idea that maybe her coworker had done it after I’d cooled down—but the damage had already been done. I’d driven her away for good.

“You can still fix things,” Dad said. “I know you cared about her. Loved her, even.”

“Dad—”

“Victoria gave me this,” he cut me off. He pushed a flier across the table—a notice for a gallery show in New York. The starring artist was Justine Gunn, but there, at the bottom, was a list of featured amateurs—and Cadence Ryan was on the list.

“What am I supposed to do with it?” I asked.

“Go get her,” he said. “This divorce changes things. To be honest, we shouldn’t have let the marriage get in your way in the first place. But now there’s no reason to hold back. Go get your girl.”

“After this shit I said?” The waiter arrived with my drink and I swallowed as quickly as I had the first.

“She’s forgiven you before,” he said. “She will again. I’ve seen how she looks at you.”

I clenched my fists. “And if I don’t deserve it?”

Dad shrugged. “Beg a little. The Sonder men, we’re not a proud bunch. Hard workers, shrewd businessmen, yes. But we fall in love and lose our heads and get ourselves hurt over and over. And you know what? I don’t regret any of it.”

“No?” I asked, taken aback.

“Not a single one of my wives. I loved them all. And maybe they didn’t all love me back, but some did, and so I’m not sorry. And you won’t regret trying. You’ll only regret not trying.” He tapped his head. “We’re dumb over love but we aren’t quitters. We don’t give up.”

“Well shit.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I can’t even believe I’m considering it.”

“Don’t consider it,” he said, finishing off his drink. “Just do it.”

Go get your girl
.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Cadence

I hovered near my photo where it hung on the wall in the back of the gallery. I couldn’t believe that Justine had asked to display it! I was abuzz with excitement—and with champagne.

“I like it,” some stranger said, gesturing at my print. “It’s… touristy. But in a good way. New York from a fresh perspective.”

I couldn’t believe that people were getting it, really
getting
it. I adjusted the hem of my dress—a simple black piece from a discount store. Nothing like Keir’s stylist would have put me in. It was much simpler, and a bit more modest, but it was mine. I’d worked hard for it and I’d picked it out—and now I was wearing it as a featured amateur photographer at a Justine Gunn show!

I spotted the boy across the room—the one she’d wanted me to meet. I hadn’t had the courage to stop and speak to him yet after our awkward introduction.

He seemed nice enough but I could tell right away that I wasn’t very into him. He was so… clean, and proper, and he had a real job and he just… wasn’t Keir.

But I wanted to at least give him a chance. I couldn’t pine forever.

The room went quiet for a moment as the live band took a break and the MC switched over to his playlist. My eyes scanned the room and I smiled at all the familiar faces. Despite how perfect the night was, I still felt a little bummed out—Mom hadn’t made it. She’d said she would try but she wound up going on a date instead. I didn’t know why I was so surprised. It would do no good for me to get angry over it, though. I had to keep my expectations low when it came to her—we wouldn’t be able to manage a relationship otherwise.