So what are they then? Rose asked.
Like filler and stuff. Cardboard. Nikki has this habit of playing with her hair when she's bullshitting or lying: she lifts it up at the back and twirls it around her hand, then lets it fall.
I only made them for my brother, I said. I wanted to kick myself after I said it.
What's your brother's name again? Nikki said.
Squid! Squid cried out, taking Nikki's hand and shaking it up and down like Wiley had taught him to do when he introduced himself. I laughed the way Mum does when people give her compliments, all high and forced, and I took Squid by the shoulders to pull him away.
No no, I said. His real name's Sebastian. I patted him on the head, ruffled his hair a bit. We're trying to get him to stop calling himself that, I said. Squid pushed my hand away and started petting his head, gave me an exaggerated glare like Hey, you're wrecking my hair. I knew he was only faking it for attention. I could just see the hyperactive juices starting to filter into his veins.
Aw, come on Gray, leave him alone, Nikki said. He's cool.
Squid grinned when he heard that, shot up onto his tippytoes. And now, he said, pointing a finger to the sky, we resume the investigation! He learned to say that after he heard it on an episode of
Inspector Gadget.
The first time he'd repeated it Jess and Wiley and I had laughed our heads off 'cause it sounded so funny coming out of a six-year-old. Naturally Rose and Nikki thought it was hilarious, and Squid skittered off into the living room with that big grin still on his face like he knew they'd be thinking
what a funny grown-up thing for
a little boy to say
and wondering what he was doing now.
I huffed out a sigh, and rolled my eyes to signal that this was really not as cute as it seemed. I knew that Squid was hiding behind the curtains, thinking we'd go chasing after him. It was his favourite hiding spot ever since I used it to scare the bejeezus out of him during a blackout, but the curtains were sheer so it was probably the worst place to hide during the day.
Okay, I whispered to Rose and Nikki, now's our chance to escape to the basement. I scooped the fries onto a plate and left them on the counter for Squid while Rose and Nikki snuck into the basement. I locked the basement door behind us and felt a rock settle in my gut.
Nikki whipped out the bottle of vodka right away, shook her head when I asked her if she wanted some cups.
Doug says vodka's the best straight out of the bottle, she said. His dad's Russian. She held the bottle out to me and I took a swig, pretended it was totally normal for me to be drinking vodka, like I'd done it a million times before. I was afraid I might choke or spit it out but it actually wasn't that bad. It reminded me of the stuff Mum used to paint on the ends of my hair to make me stop biting it. It came out of this little brown bottle and it was supposed to be painted on fingernails to stop people from chewing them 'cause the stuff tasted so bad. Didn't work for me and my hair though. I just sucked off all the paint and went on biting.
Rose took a tiny little sip and her whole face scrunched up. Nikki and I laughed at her and then we heard the doorknob jiggling at the top of the stairs.
Oh shit! Nikki whispered. She and Rose started snickering into their hands.
The doorknob jiggled again, a little harder this time. Rose and Nikki let out a few giggles and I pressed my finger to my lips, gave them a stern look. Then came a few taps and a couple of knocks.
Hello? Squid's muffled voice said. Hello? Where are you? Grace, where are you?
I took another mouthful of vodka, smiled at Rose even though I felt like puking. The liquid felt kind of good burning down my throat, like super-strength cough syrup. A scene flashed in my head of me diving off the Centre Street bridge with my arms behind my back, the fish in the river watching my face smack the water.
We sat there quietly passing the bottle around for what seemed like an hour, listening to Squid rattle the doorknob, his little voice getting louder and louder,
Grace, Grace, I'm here
Grace,
not getting the point that I was doing it on purpose because why would I ever do something like that? I was on the verge of running up the stairs and bursting through the door with a million sorrys and a great big bear hug, but then the rattling stopped. The three of us looked at each other and Nikki raised the bottle in the air.
Cheers, she said, and took a big gulp.
I sat on the floor with my back against the wall and let my shoulders go loose. I felt a flood of tingles rise into my brain like 7 Up.
Aw crap, Rose said in a whiny voice, I have to pee again. When she got up her denim skirt was shifted to the side and hiked up around her waist, but she didn't seem to notice. She headed to the bathroom with her arms swinging too much, the way I'd imagine a sloth would walk if it could stand up on its hind legs.
Okay, Nikki said, hands on hips. Enough of the bore-fest already. That TV work?
I nodded and pointed to the remote, watched Nikki fiddle with it until the screen buzzed and flashed. The sound of TV channels flipping was relaxing, like a lullaby.
You know how in cartoons, they always show a conscience as two different characters, like an angel and devil? Well I think my conscience has three sides: the good side, the bad side, and the side that tells the other two to
Shut up, I'm trying
to do something here.
And that side really likes the taste of vodka. With Squid gone, I started to think this felt pretty okay. This was fun, I thought. Me sitting slumped against a wall with the bottle pressed between my knees and Nikki dancing to Mariah Carey on MuchMusic, her hips swirling just like Mariah's. My head started swaying to the music and I didn't care that I hated how Mariah Carey always sang so high to impress people, but it ended up just sounding like screaming. Rose got back and the music seemed to give her a second wind. She took Nikki's hands and they twirled each other around like it was the most fun they'd ever had. I just sat there and watched them 'cause that's what I felt like doing. I kept tipping vodka into my mouth like a robot stuck on repeat. Then âBaby Got Back' came on and Nikki started showing Rose how to do this sexy move where you drop down and slink back up with your butt sticking out, like a stripper, and I felt really cool 'cause my face stayed serious even though somewhere deep down I was telling myself to be grossed-out. Sitting around my house getting drunk started to seem like something I deserved â everyone else got to do it, so why couldn't I? Anyway, I was holding my liquor way better than Rose. Her face was the colour of a tomato and her head was lolling like a rag doll's.
Nikki asked me to pass the bottle again when I was about to sip, and I accidentally knocked it against my teeth and some of the liquid dribbled on my chin. That was funny, oh boy was it funny. I started cackling like Beavis, and that made Rose and Nikki go right off. So we were giggling away like fruitcakes and pretty soon we forgot what we were giggling about. That was when we heard the bang.
It sounded like a boulder had hit the floor above us. The ceiling made a cracking noise, the same noise you hear in the first split-second of a thunderclap. At first I couldn't figure out what was happening. Then I noticed that Nikki and Rose had stopped laughing and were looking straight at me.
That's the garage, I said, pointing to the ceiling.
Next thing I knew I was at the top of the stairs, rattling the doorknob like crazy 'cause I'd forgotten I'd locked it. All I could think about was Squid pinned to the concrete floor under a toppled shelf, buried in paint cans and power tools. His body limp and mottled like a leaf of rotting lettuce. It was so clear in my mind that I was sure I was already seeing it. And when I finally got the door unlocked I had never hated myself more in my entire life.
When I burst through the door to the garage I must have looked like I just came out of
Night of the Living Dead
. My mouth was a gaping half-moon and my eyes were bulging and I stumbled a bit over my feet. I had to grab the railing to stop myself from spilling down the stairs. I stood there on the landing and it took a few seconds to focus my eyes. First thing I saw was Wiley kneeling in the middle of the floor in front of his big green travel trunk. He had a pair of pliers in his hand. A can of Coors was sitting on the floor by his feet.
Oh, hi, he said.
Squid's head popped up. He'd been kneeling next to Wiley. Hi Grace, he said. We're getting the treasure.
This is my old friend Bill, you remember Bill, right? Wiley said.
No, I said. I hadn't even noticed the man who was standing in the frame of the open garage door. He had a thin mustache and he was wearing a Bart Simpson t-shirt that was ratty around the neck. He waved, took a long drink of Coors. I was nearly positive I'd never seen Bill before in my life, but my head also felt like it was it was packed with Jell-O so I couldn't be sure.
He's the bass, Wiley said.
Was
the bass, I should say. Of Handbrake, remember?
Handbrake was the name of Wiley's band that broke up ten years ago, before Mum knew him. Wiley had a picture of the five of them posing with their instruments, and they all had the same long feathery hair that had been teased and poofed like Farrah Fawcett's.
I rock with Bossa Nova now, Bill said.
Things had started to sink in by this point â Squid wasn't dead and nothing bad had happened. And for some reason that made me flippin' angry.
What the HELL are you doing? I yelled. My eyes were burning a hole into the trunk, the stupid green trunk that had sat at the foot of Mum and Wiley's bed draped in blankets and dirty clothes ever since I could remember. Wiley had said the locks were busted and he couldn't get it open, but he refused to give the thing away 'cause he said he couldn't remember what was in it. It could be important. He'd thrown out his back trying to lug it up the stairs when he moved in. He'd obviously recruited Bill as reinforcement this time, although Bill's flabby arms looked pretty useless.
Whoa-ho-ho! Wiley said. Chill! He'd never used the word âchill' before. It sounded all stiff, like he was putting on an accent. He kind of laughed and I could tell he was embarrassed. Bill perked his eyebrows, chuckled as if to say, Dude, I'm glad I'm not you. He was way too old to be acting like that.
We're just trying to crack it open, Squid said. He slid his little fingers along the trunk's seam, pulled at one of the locked clasps. They tried to throw it but it's still locked up, he said.
Wiley picked at the other clasp with the pliers but they just jogged and snapped. Hm, Wiley said. Bill says he remembers there being some old LPs inside. Could be worth something.
So you tossed the trunk off the stairs? I shouted. I was practically frothing.
We tried everything, Wiley said. Anyway, whaddyou care? Don't you have friends over?
I'd forgotten about Nikki and Rose. I'd forgotten about being drunk. Wiley was giving me a queer look and I suddenly knew what he was thinking. I was out of there in a shot, and on my way back down to the basement I could hear Wiley and Bill laughing like two kids who'd just egged somebody's house.
I went down the stairs slowly, partly 'cause I felt like my top half was going to tip right over like one of those drinking bird toys, and partly 'cause I was trying to think of a way to get Nikki and Rose to go home.
They heard me coming and Rose yelled, What happened? I could tell by the worried sound of her voice that they'd heard the shouting through the ceiling. Rose came to the foot of the stairs and she had the bottle of vodka in her hand. It was already half empty.
I got in trouble, I said. My stepdad's home.
Oh shit, Nikki said.
You guys gotta leave, I said. He promised he wouldn't tell anyone if you guys left.
Nikki already had the cap in her hand and grabbed the bottle from Rose. She stuffed the vodka back into her backpack without saying anything.
Should we go out the patio door? Rose whispered on the way up the stairs.
Yeah, I said. Hurry, he's in the garage right now.
They waved goodbye at the screen door, Rose's eyes drooping like
You poor thing
and Nikki's going side to side like a metronome. I mouthed Bye and tried to look worried. Rose and Nikki crept through the backyard like a couple of stray cats.
Once they'd left I didn't feel all that woozy anymore but I got an Alka-Seltzer from Mum's medicine cabinet anyway. I didn't know what it was supposed to do but I'd seen people in movies dropping an Alka-Seltzer into a glass of water after they got drunk and did dumb things. The taste was like wet chalk.
In my room I had a whale calendar, and I sat there for a really long time staring at it and sipping my chalky drink. The picture for May was of a sperm whale underwater, and the way the sun was shining through the water made a tortoiseshell pattern in light blue lines all over the whale's body. My room was beside the garage and I could hear Wiley and Bill's muffled voices through the wall, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. They must have been whispering 'cause at one point I heard Squid's voice,
But I don't gotta go
to school tomorrow!
Every so often the hiss-crack of beer cans being opened interrupted their whispers.
I figured out while I was sitting there that if I stared at the whale hard enough, I started to forget that the pattern wasn't really part of the whale's skin. It started to look like the whale was made of paper that had been scrunched up really tight and then smoothed back out again.
I thought about how sperm whales are the largest toothed mammals on the planet. One tooth can be as big as your forearm. They're pointy too, which I didn't expect. If you were looking at one and didn't know it was a tooth, you would probably mistake it for a bull's horn. But the weird thing is that no one really knows why sperm whales even have teeth. In fact, there are lots of perfectly healthy sperm whales that don't have any teeth. They don't need them for catching or eating their prey 'cause they just chase it down and swallow it whole. Some scientists think that maybe the teeth are just for showing off, proving to the other whales who's boss. Back when people used to hunt sperm whales, they kept the teeth as trophies and carved figurines out of them.