Believe: The Complete Channie Series (175 page)

She scooted over.

It would be too awkward to try to keep his prosthesis hidden so Jonathan let his left arm hang naturally as he sat down.

River grinned. “I see Reuben finally finished your golden claw.”

Jonathan held it out in front of him. “You knew about this?”

She nodded. “I made the leather cuff.”

“Oh. Um…thanks.” Jonathan swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Jonathan didn’t want to get all emo in front of River, so he changed the subject. “What happened to Reuben’s back?”

River’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean the scars?”

“Yeah. He wasn’t wearing a shirt in the blacksmith shop. I couldn’t help but notice.”

“It happened before I was born. Reuben and Shula are full-blood siblings and their mother’s only children. When she died, their father refused to leave his newest concubine’s bed to attend her funeral. She’d been his alpha mate for…a very long time; so the insult was real.” River picked at the wool on her buffalo hide. “Shula ran away. She was gone for three months before the enforcers found her.”

“I thought the punishment for escaping was death.”

“It is. But her father is a very powerful man. He blamed her treason on temporary insanity due to grief and ordered she be whipped instead.”

“So, the rules can be bent.”

“Not for everyone. Not for me. And certainly not for you. If we break the law; we’ll be given the most severe punishment allowed.”

“That still doesn’t explain Reuben’s scars.”

“I was getting to that.”

“Sorry.” Jonathan flashed his trademark smile of contrition. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go ahead.”

“Reuben volunteered to stand in as proxy and took Shula’s punishment.”

“You can do that?”

River nodded. “It doesn’t happen very often. Most people don’t have the courage it takes to sacrifice so much. Reuben will bear Shula’s scars for the rest of his life.”

They were both quiet. Lost in their own thoughts. Jonathan was the first to break the silence. “We need to talk about what happened back at the mud pit. I know kissing me was against the rules, but as long as no one finds out, we’re okay, right?”

River nodded, but refused to meet his gaze.

“I haven’t told anyone, have you?”

River shook her head.

“What else is bothering you?” Jonathan bumped her shoulder with his. “Am I that bad of a kisser?”

She picked up her pillow and hugged it to her chest—then turned her head away from him and shrugged.

Jonathan was only trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t expect her to agree with him. “Well, to be fair, you sort of took me by surprise.”

River buried her face in her pillow, muffling her words. “You didn’t even try to kiss me back.”

Jonathan tugged the pillow away from her face. He brushed a strand of hair off her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. It slipped through his fingers like silk. He wished she’d wear it unbraided all the time. “I wanted to kiss you back, but you pushed me away before I had a chance.”

She still refused to look at him. “You don’t think I’m a whore?”

“Of course not.” Jonathan had been fighting his feelings for River since the day they met, he couldn’t do it any longer. “Even when you’re fully dressed, all I do is think about what it would feel like to hold you next to me, to touch your face and run my fingers through your hair.” He cupped the back of her head and touched his forehead to hers. “I want to kiss you so much it hurts. And when you’re naked, I want to do a lot more than just kiss you.”

“I want to do more than just kiss you, too.” The tip of her tongue peeked out between her lips. “I won’t push you away again.”

Jonathan groaned. “You can’t say things like that.”

“It’s true.”

“If it were just my neck, I’d risk it. But I care about you too much to put you in danger.”

“You care about me?” River’s voice rose in pitch. She blinked three times then lifted her chin and gazed into his eyes.

“Of course I care about you.” Jonathan’s throat tightened as he realized the truth of his words. This wasn’t just a physical attraction anymore. It wasn’t a game. Or even a strategy to persuade her to leave with him so he wouldn’t have to kidnap her.
Please don’t make me kidnap you.

River’s eyes glowed purple. This wasn’t just a faint glimmer, like it was in the cave. This was a definite glow. Why wasn’t it freaking him out? The longer he gazed into her strange, mesmerizing eyes the weaker his resistance became. Maybe she really was an angel.

“Kiss me, Jonathan.” Her warm breath caressed his face. “Please.”

Or a demon.

He wove his fingers through her hair as he cupped the back of her head. He knew kissing her was against the rules. Kissing her in her room, on her bed, with Reuben just down the hall was reckless, stupid and dangerous.

But he did it anyway.

River

R
IVER
’
S
EYES
OPENED
WIDER
AS
Jonathan’s drifted shut.

He tilted his head to the side and brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was softer than a butterfly’s wings but River felt it all the way to her toes. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath as her heart tried to pound its way out of her chest. “Wow.”

“Was that better?”

River ducked her head and hid behind the curtain of her hair as she peeked at Jonathan. His smile displayed his dimples, but desire burned in his eyes.

The bed shook as a tremor coursed through River’s body. She lifted her chin and met his gaze.

Jonathan’s grin slid off his face. “Your eyes…”

River squeezed them shut. She didn’t have to ask to know that they were glowing with pre-merge fever again. At least she hoped it was pre-merge. She and Jonathan had made a lot of progress, but she doubted he was ready to mate with her.

Jonathan gripped her chin between his thumb and fingers. “Open your eyes.”

River blinked and looked at Jonathan.

He tilted his head to the left. “I’ve seen Reuben’s eyes flash yellow and Eli’s blue. What’s going on? And don’t say ‘nothing.’ I’m not stupid.”

“I can’t tell you.” She dipped her chin and stared at her hands.

“You can tell me anything.” Jonathan stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

As Jonathan’s sponsor, it was River’s responsibility to decide when he was ready to learn the secrets of New Eden and in what order. Some secrets were easier to accept than others. If a new recruit were bombarded with too much information too soon, it could damage them psychologically. Sometimes making them unstable and dangerous to the point that the recruit had to be put down.

That’s why no one was allowed to tell a recruit anything they didn’t already know without their sponsor’s permission.

It was like training a wild horse. You could starve it and beat it into submission, destroying its spirit, leaving you with a broken and resentful animal that only obeys out of fear. Or you could gain its trust day by day. Introduce new things slowly and in a logical progression that prepares the animal for the next step. And never move to the next step until the previous one has been fully accepted.

Jonathan cupped River’s cheek with his palm then frowned and moved it to her forehead. “You’re a little feverish. This weird eye flashing thing isn’t caused by some strange disease, is it?”

River wanted to answer Jonathan’s questions, but she didn’t want to destroy the trust they’d built.

“Don’t worry, I’m not contagious.”

“I’m only worried about you.” Jonathan kissed her again. A little longer this time, as if to prove he wasn’t afraid of catching her illness.

That was her answer. “It’s a symptom of the fever.”

“The kind of fever you had back at the quarantine cabin?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You could kiss me again.”

“I want to, believe me. But Reuben knows I’m in here. What are the consequences if we get caught?”

“Not good.” River closed her eyes and waited until the burning sensation disappeared to open them.

“Your eyes are normal again.”

“It comes and goes. It’s nothing to worry about, I promise.”

“You’re sure?”

River nodded. “You’d better go on to bed.”

Jonathan kissed her forehead then stood up. He paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. “Sweet dreams.”

River waited until the door clicked shut then covered her face with her pillow and squealed. It didn’t seem like the right response but she couldn’t help it. When she finally got herself under control, she fell back on her bed and traced her lips with her finger. “Wow.”

Two
weeks later, dark purple, yellow and green patches still encircled both of Jonathan’s eyes. His nose was slightly crooked and now had a permanent bump across the bridge. But it only made him more attractive.

River’s feelings for Jonathan grew more intense every day. Just the sight of him turned her joints to water. But they had to be careful. Eli was still trying to court her. If he found out what was going on, he’d take it personally. And that could only mean trouble.

They couldn’t completely avoid each other. Jonathan was River’s responsibility. If she suddenly ignored him, it would look suspicious. So they kept the gazes full of longing and the accidental touches as they passed to a minimum and pretended to be nothing more than friends—until the next full moon.

Shifters could release their wolves anytime, day or night, but they had no choice when the moon was full. Reuben, Shula and Eli would be out, running with Reuben’s pack, from sunset to sunrise. Quarantine or not.

Jonathan

R
IVER
STOOD
IN
J
ONATHAN
’
S
ROOM
—naked in the moonlight—an apple in her outstretched hand. Her dark chocolate hair flowed over her shoulders in soft waves, covering her breasts. “It’s your choice. What do you want? Me…or the fruit?”

Jonathan’s mouth watered. He wanted both, but his hunger for River devoured every other appetite. “I choose you.”

“Who are you choosing?” River’s breath tickled Jonathan’s cheek.

His eyes flew open.

River was really in his room—fully clothed—leaning over him and smiling.

Jonathan sat up and shoved his pillow into his lap. He’d had the same dream, with the same frustrating results, every night for the past two weeks; ever since he’d kissed River in her bedroom.

He always chose River in his dream, but he always woke up before he got to enjoy the benefits of that choice. And if that weren’t bad enough, he woke up craving fresh apples.

“Hey, River, what’s up?”
Besides me?

She pressed her index finger against her lips and nodded towards Gabriel’s bed. “Get dressed and meet me in the stable.”

There was a full moon, so Jonathan didn’t need a hurricane lamp to get dressed or find his way to the stable. Once he was inside, it was a different story. He couldn’t see a thing.

He jumped when River took his hand.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“That’s okay.”

She wrapped her arm around his waist and guided him forward.

“Can you see where you’re going?” Jonathan didn’t want to step on a rake or run into a pitchfork.

“I have really good night vision.”

“Is it because of your glowing eyes?”

She didn’t answer, but she might have nodded.

“Um…what are we doing out here?”

“Getting to know each other a little better.”

Jonathan liked the sound of that. “What about Reuben?”

“He’s gone for the night.”

“Patrol duty?”

“Something like that.” River led Jonathan into an empty stall then tugged on his hand. “Sit down.” 

Jonathan grinned when his hand brushed the soft wool of a buffalo hide. “Are you sure we aren’t going to get caught?”

“I’m sure.” River’s hand trembled against Jonathan’s cheek. “I just wanted a chance to talk to you without worrying about someone overhearing us.”

“Oh.” Jonathan couldn’t keep the tension and disappointment out of his voice. When girls ‘wanted to talk,’ it never meant anything good.

River laughed softly then pressed her forehead against his. “I thought we might do a little kissing, too.”

Jonathan grinned as he slid his hand to the back of River’s head. “Now you’re talking.”

Maybe tonight he’d find the courage to confess his plan to run away with River. He needed to do it soon so she could get used to the idea before the pass opened. Every time Jonathan tried to tell her, a little voice of doubt said she’d never agree to leave the only home she’d ever known just to be with him. He wanted to be sure she’d say ‘yes’ before he asked.

He brushed his lips against River’s then kissed the corner of her mouth.

She turned towards him, seeking his lips, but Jonathan wanted to take things slow. If all they were going to do was kiss—and he had no reason to believe otherwise—he wanted to build up to it. He kissed the tip of her nose then moved to her temples.

River tried to press her lips against Jonathan’s, but he turned his head so her kiss landed on his cheek. She made the cutest little growling noise. “Why won’t you kiss me?”

Jonathan pulled her earlobe into his mouth and gave it a gentle nip before releasing it. “I
am
kissing you.”

She melted against him then pulled back and palmed his cheeks, forcing him to look at her.

All he could see was her glowing, purple eyes. They still had the same seductive effect on him, if anything it was even more powerful, but he fought it.

River sighed. “You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I know what you mean.” Jonathan pulled one of her hands off his face and pressed it against his chest, over his pounding heart. “I also know what you want.” He kissed her throat, just below her jaw, and was rewarded with a whimpering sound that nearly destroyed his resolve to take things slow. “But more importantly,” he kissed the dip between her collar bones, “I know what you
need
.”

Jonathan brushed the hair off her face with his fingertips then slid his hand to the back of her head. He wrapped his left arm around her waist and touched his lips to hers. He moved his mouth, gently at first, giving her time to adjust to the new technique. It didn’t take long.

She was a fast and eager learner. She ran her hands over his shoulders and back as her lips devoured his.

If River had been any other girl, Jonathan would have at least tried to cop a feel, but she wasn’t any other girl. Sure, he wanted to do more, and he was fairly certain she’d let him, but he didn’t want to pressure her. He kept his tongue in his mouth and his hand on her back. He kissed every inch of exposed skin, but never went lower than her collar bone.

It was the best, and longest, make-out session he’d ever experienced. He wanted it to go on forever, but if they got caught …

“River.” Jonathan broke the kiss and gave her a quick peck on the mouth. “What time will Reuben and Eli be done with patrol?”

She sighed with her whole body. “A little before sunrise. We should probably go back to the house.”

“Probably?” He kissed her again.

Ten minutes later, she came up for air. “Definitely.”

Jonathan stood up and offered River his hand. “Your hair’s a mess.”

She grinned. “So’s yours.”

Jonathan pulled a piece of straw off River’s sleeve. “Maybe we shouldn’t try to sneak back inside. We could get started on our morning chores and pretend we got up early.”

“I need to get my buffalo robe cleaned up and back on my bed.”

Jonathan helped her shake the dust out of it. The straw had to be picked out by hand. They’d never get it done in time. He should have insisted they head back an hour ago. “Look, this isn’t going to work, go grab the hide off my bed and put it on yours.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll claim that Gabriel’s snoring was so loud I couldn’t sleep; so I came out here. The stable’s just as warm as the house.”

“That’s crazy enough it just might work! It’ll even explain the dark circles under your eyes.”

“What about
your
dark circles?”

“I had a bout of fever and tossed and turned all night.” River grinned at him then rose up on her toes and gave him a peck on the mouth. “Give me about twenty minutes to make my bed and start breakfast then come on up to the house.”

Jonathan
had only ever beaten Gabriel to the breakfast table once. He’d never beaten Paul or Reuben so he shouldn’t have been surprised when Reuben walked in and started asking questions.

Jonathan gave his answers and hoped they didn’t sound rehearsed.

Reuben filled his plate with eggs and biscuits then leaned over and kissed the top of River’s hair. He tensed. Every muscle bunched and strained against his clothes. The corded muscles of his neck stood out.

He knows.
Jonathan didn’t know how Reuben figured it out. River hadn’t had time to wash her hair. Maybe she smelled like straw, or horses, but she spent more time in the stable than she did in the house so that wasn’t it. Could he smell Jonathan on her?
No way.
He was just guessing. Or fishing. As long as they didn’t act guilty, he’d never be able to prove anything.

Jonathan scraped the last bit of egg off his plate with a biscuit. He felt Reuben’s eyes boring into the back of his head as he carried his dishes to the kitchen trough. He needed to distract the man.

“Hey, Reuben, have you ever thought about setting a metal rack in the bottom of the trough to hold the dishes in place while the water flows over them?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Instead of holding the dishes in the stream with your hands, you could just set them in the rack and let the water do all the work.”

“It’s not that hard to wash them by hand.”

It is if you only have one hand.
“You could divert the cold water for fifteen minutes and sterilize the dishes without fear of getting scalded.”

“Hmmm… you might have something there. Draw me a sketch of the rack and I’ll see what I can do.”

Jonathan had only meant to get Reuben’s mind off his suspicions. Getting a steam-punk version of a dishwasher was a bonus.

River joined Jonathan at the kitchen trough. She nudged him with her elbow and whispered, “When you’re done with your drawing, meet me in the hay barn.”

“Are you sure?” Jonathan didn’t want to arouse even more suspicion.

“I have something I want to show you. It won’t take long.”

Jonathan followed Reuben to his office and scratched out a rough sketch of his idea then ran outside to find River. The sun peeked over the eastern rim just as she stepped out of the hay barn.

Jonathan’s heart stuttered. His appreciation of River’s natural beauty had grown exponentially since the day they met, but her radiance in the morning light stole his breath.

River grinned and waved when she spotted Jonathan. “I have something for you.”

Jonathan blinked then lowered his gaze from her face to her hands.

She handed him a long, narrow sack made of buckskin. “Here, you hold it so I can untie the case.”

Jonathan had already guessed what was inside, but when he pulled the longbow out of the bag, his mouth fell open. The wood glowed amber in the sunlight, its surface so highly polished it sent refracted sunbeams dancing across the snow covered ground.

“I carved and wrapped the grip extra thick so you can use your golden claw to hold the bow. Here, try it.”

Jonathan centered the bow’s grip inside the pincers of his prosthetic and pulled his arm towards his body. When he felt what he judged to be the right amount of tension to hold the bow steady, he pressed the correct pin to lock everything in place.

“I made a bow stringer so you can do it yourself.” River handed him a cord made of plied sinew; a small leather cone attached to each end. She slipped the cones over the tips of the bow. “Let the stringer hang down to the ground and step on it, right in the middle, then pull the bow toward your chest.”

Jonathan was surprised by how easily the bow bent.

River slipped the loop of the bowstring into the notched end at the tip of the bow then removed the stringer.

“You don’t even need a wrist guard.” River smiled and tapped the leather cuff that made up the socket of his prosthetic hand.

The easy and natural way River accepted his disability warmed Jonathan’s heart. “This is beautiful. Did you make it?”

“Gabriel helped. He’s much better at chasing the grain than I am. My specialty is arrows.” She handed him a leather quiver with six mismatched arrows. “I need to measure your draw length before I make your arrows. I borrowed a few of Gabriel’s for you to practice with. The ones with whittled tips are for target practice, but this one…” she handed him an arrow with a lethal stone point, “…is for hunting.”

Jonathan was awestruck by the craftsmanship of both the bow and arrows. “I don’t know what to say.”

She grinned at him. “You like it?”

“Are you kidding me? I love it. Show me how to shoot it.”

They spent the entire morning slinging arrows. River was a patient and competent teacher. Time stood still as they shot at the target, which was nothing more than an old shirt stuffed with hay and marked with a quarter-sized stain of blackberry juice. Ninety percent of River’s arrows hit the mark. Ninety percent of Jonathan’s didn’t even hit the shirt. “I think I need a little motivation.”