Being Celeste (8 page)

“All of a sudden, I don’t feel so good.”

“You don’t look it either,” said Kate,
rushing over to my side.

I was sitting on a stool where people sit
when they fit their shoes. I’m dying. You know how you can do almost
anything
when you’re feeling sick? Maybe it’s because your mental state is a little off.
Anyway, at that moment, I found it appropriate for me to get on my knees. I
dropped from the stool, onto my knees thinking that it would make me feel
better. Maybe I was overreacting, I don’t know. It was rather strange...I’m
sure I heard Kate call it out?

“Why are you on your knees, Celeste?” she
asked, helping me up back to the stool.

I was still sweating, but my symptoms were
alleviating. I was starting to feel a little light. “Just give me a minute to
compose myself,” I murmured. Too much exercise for day one? I don’t know. I
told Trevor to take it easy on me. Now he’s almost killed me. How is feeling
nauseas normal again?

“Here, have some water.” Kate was looking
flustered.

Oh what would I do without my one and only
best friend in the whole, wide world? I would be
nothing
. I would be
useless. She’s the best friend anyone could ever dream of. Look at her, nursing
me back to health. Now I know why I like her so much, she’s very kind hearted
and considerate. She planted the glass of water on my mouth and forced me to
drink from it. Now she
actually
thinks she’s a nurse. I’ll just obey
orders.

“Have you had anything to eat, Celeste?”

I pulled out enough strength to talk behind
the cup that was pressed against my mouth. “No. I was going to eat during our
tea break.”

“What? And what are you having for
tea
?”

“A carrot!” I wasn’t joking.

“Celeste, you must be joking. You can’t
have a carrot for breakfast.”

“Yes, I can. I was going to throw an apple
in there as well, but I can’t afford that many calories.” I wasn’t joking,
really. Kate looked at me like I was from another planet. “What!? I already
weigh a ton, I’m sure my fat doesn’t mind me living on it for some time.”

“Celeste, that’s the biggest pot of
bullshit I’ve ever heard. I’m rushing over to the supermarket to get you some
breakfast. You will eat something, you idiot.” She left.

It was the exercise, not my lack of food
intake. Why doesn’t she understand that I’m a long way away from fainting from
hunger? I have a lifetime supply of fat, which I’m just hoping I put it to use
before I die. I was feeling better already, feeling as sharp as a healthy person.
A few minutes after Kate had left to buy me some
sensible
food to eat,
three girls entered the boutique, all spiffy and full of chatter. Oh, and they
were the most adorable little things. I could fit them in my bag. Sometimes I
think life is easier for petite girls, because when you are closer to the
ground and you fall, it’s far less complicated then when you’re way up there
near the sky. It’s just a theory of mine. Here they are, coming into the
boutique for a shopping extravaganza...together...in a group, the tiny lot of
them. They all had maxi sunglasses on and matching jeans (probably the same
size) and different, funky, floral tops. I just want to dress them. They remind
me of the dolls I never had when I was growing up (that’s a story for another
time).

Oh gosh, they keep on giggling. Why are
they so happy, have they been to the gym too? Maybe it’s just the feel of
shopping. I get all giggly too when I’m out with a few girlfriends, tearing up
the malls. They are trying on some shoes. I’ll just hang here behind the
counter and wait for them to buy something...oh, no, those look terrible on
her. I mustn’t, but I should. It’s my duty as a worker of this boutique. I’m
going in!

“Hi,” I said, walking over to the posse.
They all giggled
hi
, back at me...still with the bouncy giggles, I don’t
get it. Anyway, I continued trying to look at all of them at once. “I hope you
don’t find me intruding, but I just couldn’t help myself. You see those shoes?
They don’t really go well with someone your size.” I was looking at the one
wearing the shoes now. My comment wiped the giggle from her senses. She then
turned on an interested look, keen to hear my opinion.

“Oh, but I thought-” she murmured.

I cut her short. “No, no, no my dear. You
see, shoes with a tiny heel like those ones, tend to make someone of your frame
look even shorter. Aren’t you looking to embrace your
petite
, but still
mask long and lean legs?”

She started nodding like a loon, so did her
friends, staring at me like I had the answers to world peace.

“Good. I suggest these platform pumps,” I
said, going over to the shoe display and grabbing a pair. “Or these wedges. If
you’re looking for something flat, then baby doll pumps or strappy sandals all
the way.” I handed them over to her to try on. Her friends got in on the action
too, all fascinated by the fact that they were experimenting with my
suggestions. Oh let me not even mention the delight in my heart, helping out
lost souls.

“Oooh, I like, I like!” said one of them.

I was beside myself with giggles,
forgetting that earlier I was a little annoyed by them. “And never wear
gladiator shoes! I’m totally against them for shorter girls. They just cut off
from your length. But that’s just my little secret.”

“You know, you’re right. I’m Naledi, by the
way,” said the original victim, staring at her feet on the large mirror on the
wall. “These are my best friends Botlhe and Goitse.”

“Nice to meet you girls, I’m Celeste.”

“Well Celeste, I believe we could use your
insight more,” said Naledi. She must have been the ring leader of the three I
guess, doing all the talking. “So I’m wearing my platform pumps, what outfit
should I have on?”

Oh no she didn’t! She’s giving me the green
card, and I’m going to let it all come out now. I smiled, more of a grin.
“Well, what you have on now is fine, but it doesn’t really define those shoes.
The secret to matching your shoes with the perfect outfit is to understand the
shoes and the language they speak.” Yes, I went there, this is where watching a
lot of style shows is going to pay off. “For example, the pumps you have on now
have a leopard print.
I
would interpret them as being funky, sexy and
fierce! They have a lot of characteristics, as compared to if they were black
or just plain coloured. So your outfit shouldn’t be as loud as
they
are
at the moment. I’d suggest a mono coloured short dress, maybe black if you
like. Not something too bright though, like neon colours, for example, I think
would look terrible. If you want to keep it casual, go for a pair of jeans,
like you have on now and again, something mono coloured for a top and not
floral like you have on now.” By now the girls were just nodding and smiling
and nodding. I had them wrapped around my finger, gobbling up my every word. I
rushed off to the women’s section and grabbed some outfits. “Here, go and try
these on with those shoes and see how they work for you.” Naledi did not
hesitate, and immediately rushed to the fitting room. Goitse and Botlhe rushed
to my side to hear what I had to say about
their
shoes. I had become a
fashion hero. Good times!

Kate came in from the supermarket and found
me in the middle of my consultations. She was a little shocked at the fact that
I was talking to the customers. I don’t know why because I always do it, you
know, when a customer needs me to fetch a bigger size from storage or asks for
the price of an item. I’m always there to assist. Naledi came out from the
fitting room wearing a purple, fitting halter dress that I’d picked out for
her. Its length went to right below the knees. She immediately rushed over to
the mirror, like there was no mirror in the fitting room, to gaze at herself
more. I guess it was just so unbelievable.

“Oh Celeste, I love this! I look
incredible! Thank you, thank you so much,” she said, still checking herself out
in the mirror.

The other girls came out too in the outfits
I had picked out for them. Botlhe, in the wedges was wearing a pair of skinny
black tailored pants, a floral top and black biker jacket (my personal touch);
Goitse, in the black peep toe heels, had on blue skinny jeans and a gold
sequinned tank top. They all saw each other and began shrieking in amazement at
the sight of each other.

“You look so hot!” said one to another.

“And
you
look hot!” said another to
another. It was a never ending cycle filled with shrills from satisfied
customers.

Kate came up to me, staring at them, her
head filled with questions. “Should I even ask what’s going on here?” she said.

“Nope, just go on behind and the counter
because you’ll be needed there in a short while,” I replied, very pleased with
myself.

“Celeste, you are incredible, you know
that?” Naledi finally said. “We’ll take these, just like they are.”

“Well, I’m glad you like them.”

“Like them? We love your suggestions. I
look so hot right now, wait till my ex boyfriend sees me. He’s going to regret
the day he ever looked at another girl.”

“Right?” said Goitse. “You go girl!”

I moved away, because this wasn’t my
conversation any longer. Kate was looking at me, satisfied with the fact that
we were about to make a sale. She just loved the sight of money.

After the girls had left, each promising
their return soon, Kate went all nurse-y on me again. I don’t know if she
hadn’t noticed that I was just fine. She dug and showcased what was in the
plastic bag from the supermarket. Food, glorious food! Yoghurt, bread,
scrambled eggs, soup, fruit and two fruit juices.

“I can’t eat this!” I protested.

“Oh, but you are eating
this
,” she
replied. “I’m not asking you to.”

She went over to the pantry in the back and
grabbed two plates.

“You have managed to make three girls feel
good about themselves today,” she said, coming back to my side. “And yet here
you
are, treating your body like crap. You want to lose weight, fine, but eating a
carrot for breakfast to do so is not the way to do it.” There was fire burning
in her eyes.

Well
excuse me!
“Fine, I’ll eat your
food,” I said. I was going to eat it anyway. The minute the smell started
filling my senses, there was no way I was not having Kate’s food. Her big
speech-lecture thing was really not necessary. Now she gets to gloat about
saving my life. Oh, but I do love that she’s concerned about me, my Katie ol’
pal!

Today’s gym run
was not that bad. My temporary personal trainer, Trevor, took down my weight.
I’m 85 kilograms! The minute I saw that, I showed no negativity about any of
the machines I was asked to hop on. I soared along the treadmill like the girl
next to me, who was running like it was nothing. I pushed myself to get it,
without complaining. I’m pretty sure Trevor was shocked to see the new me. He
didn’t scream so much like the previous day and I did not feel nauseas. Take
that, 85 kilograms! I’m kicking you out of my life. As I left to go to work,
the gym staff were still all happy and bouncy. Here I was, all happy and bouncy
along with them. It’s incredible how two days of exercise can make you feel.

Yesterday’s aerobics class, my first, was
rather interesting. I think it’s going to eventually help me to break out of my
shell. Here I was, with a bunch of other overweight women just breaking a
sweat. There were literally four women, and a pudgy man in the middle of us. He
looked like he was there with his wife. Together they formed
the
pudgy
twosome
. I looked at myself in the large mirrored wall in the dance hall
where aerobics are held and I thought I wasn’t
that
bad. Maybe because I
am really tall, it’s helped my fat spread around my body more, but I looked
better than my counterparts. Trevor burst in through the doors with his music
system and just blasted his best dance hall beats. Now, the reason why I claim
that aerobics is going to help me get out of my shell is that I don’t dance- at
all, in public. Here I was, in public, about to do some aerobics. A part of me
felt some embarrassment about the fact that people were going to see me doing
stupid moves, burning my fat, and another part just found the fact that
we
were here (me, the other two women and the pudgy twosome) for a common purpose,
a little funny. I couldn’t stop smiling, a laugh just hiding underneath the
smile. It is ridiculous, I am aware of that, but it’s also funny. Trevor began
moving around, cavorting from one place to another like a drunken butterfly, expecting
us to mimic his outrageous moves. That just set me right off. I wanted to
disappear for a moment, have my laugh and leave the class. I don’t do things
like this in public. The pudgy twosome were jumping around in circles helping
out the mood of my proud and amused self. So in a minute, I was in there as
well, participating. This was one to go in the record books, for me. There were
people looking in through the glass window in the gym. I don’t know what they
were looking at but I was not going to be paranoid. Knowing that I was not the
worst, out of shape person in there made me feel so confident that when Trevor
leaped, pretending he could fly, I was right behind him, leaping like my life
depended on it.