Being Amber (30 page)

When their bodies stilled, he stayed inside of her. She felt the mad thumping of his heart against hers. Their ragged breathing was in unison. He kissed her neck and shoulders lovingly.

“I don’t want you to leave my body. I feel whole connected to you like this,” she whispered into his ear.

“I’m not going anywhere.” They lay joined until Xander finally retreated from her. She was half asleep when he rolled to his side and pulled her into him, surrounding her with warmth and safety.

Chapter 19

A sharp knock at the door startled Jaci awake. Brilliant sunlight glared through the window. During her confinement underground, her eyes had become unaccustomed to bright light. She threw the sheet over her head to dull the brilliance of it. Xander moved beside her. She peeked at him as he lifted himself out of bed. His nude form was broad and muscular. She admired the muscled round of his ass as his legs propelled him toward the pair of jeans folded over a chair. As he stepped into the legs, her glimpse of his hard-on made her thrilled with anticipation.

“Get rid of them,” she whispered.

He looked up from zipping his fly and flashed a hot, magnetic look at her until his concern overtook his passion and cloaked his face. He stepped toward the overturned IV pole and righted it before he walked to the door.

“Captain Rush sent me to get a statement,” Jordan said as she held up a camera, “and document.” Without a word, Xander swung the door wide for Jordan to enter and she followed him into the room.

“How you doing?” she asked, when she saw that Jaci was awake and sitting up.

“Okay. A little worn out and sore.”

“You look like shit,” Jordan said with her usual matter of fact tone. “I have to take your statement and document your injuries. Which do you want to do first?”

“Neither.” Jaci glanced over at Xander and held out a hand. “Help me up. I want to go to the bathroom.”

Xander walked over and assisted Jaci as she gingerly slipped off the bed and assessed whether her legs would bear her full weight. They did. “See, I’m fine,” she said back over her shoulder to Jordan.

Jaci walked naked to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She examined the marble of black, blue and red spread over her face and tested her ability to open her swollen left eye. It looked worse than it felt. It was sore, but only hurt when she prodded the tender flesh with her finger. As she did that, she caught sight of her gruesome wrists and the dark bruise in the crook of her arm.

“Xander could you get me some clean clothes?” she called through the bathroom door. She started the shower and waited for the water to warm. Xander’s soft knock prompted her to steel herself before she opened the door.

“Thanks,” she said as he handed the clothes in to her.

“Let me in,” he demanded, almost growling.

“Why?”

“I want to talk to you while you’re in the shower.”

Jaci appraised his face. “It’s over, Xander. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Open the damn door!”

Jaci sighed, stepped back and let the door swing open.

She didn’t look at him as she stepped over the edge of the tub into the swirling steam of the shower. She didn’t want to see the look on his face as he appraised her body in the light of day.

A moment later, he stepped in behind her.

“What’s going on?” She could tell he was deliberately trying to use a patient tone. She smiled. He wasn’t very good at it.

“Nothing. I just don’t feel like reliving the last…however many days of my life. Especially when it’s for no real purpose.”

“It is for a purpose.”

Jaci picked up the bar of soap and started rolling it in her hands. “What purpose? There’s nothing anybody can do. It’s the Gov. They do what they want to do. Nobody holds them accountable.”

She handed Xander the bar of soap and rubbed her bubbled hands over her arms. Xander turned her away from him and then washed her back.

“One day, Jaci, when people grow tired of the Gov’s absolute power, and the corruption and abuses that go along with it, we may have enough documented proof of their ruthlessness that people would be compelled to act, to change Amber’s subjugation and prevent our extermination.”

Jaci tried to turn back to face him. He stopped her. “Let me wash your hair. Look up toward the ceiling a little bit.”

She followed his directions while his hands, slippery with shampoo, moved over her head, working her hair into a mass of bubbles. He stayed well away from the gash as he scrubbed her scalp with the pads of his fingers. It felt amazing. She lost track of what she was going to say.

“Rinse,” he directed softly as he soaped up his own body.

“Do you think it’s over? With me, I mean. Do you think they’ll leave me alone?” Jaci’s eyes were shut while foamy streams slid down her face. She was disappointed she missed his expression, because he didn’t answer her right away.

“I would kill to prevent them from taking you from me again.”

“No,” Jaci snapped. “No. I could never live with myself if you put your life in jeopardy because of me.”

He stepped in closer to her so the shower spray hit both of them and pulled her into his arms. “And I could never live with myself if I didn’t.” He dipped his head and kissed her. “Do this and it will be over. Then we’ll only have to look forward after that,” he said tenderly.

Jaci nodded her head in wordless acquiescence.

“Thank you, sweetie.”

After urning off the spray, Xander grabbed towels for both of them. “Put your pants on, I’ll send Jordan in to take pictures of your injuries before you put on anything else.” Jaci grabbed for her clothes while he finished dressing and left the bathroom.

The pictures and statement took about two hours. Jaci was not traumatized by the blow by blow of what happened, but Xander was. His fury simmered under the surface barely contained. It was thick in the air by the time the interview was over.

Jaci closed the door behind Jordan when she left and turned to look at Xander. “You okay?” she asked. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with the infuriated man standing in front of her.

“Other than feeling like grinding something or someone to a pulp? Yeah.”

She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, fisting it in both hands. “Let’s make use of that slow boil.” She jerked him down toward her and kissed him, then shoved him away.

He looked stunned for a split second before he advanced on her. He burned her with his gaze, but that look was quickly replaced by an unmistakable expression of sadness and…fear?

“After what you’ve been through, Jaci, I’m not sure that you would find some of the things that turn me on as pleasurable for you anymore.”

“Xander, it’s behind us. You promised me we only look forward, remember? I don’t want you to treat me differently, to settle for lesser satisfaction because you’re afraid to do what you really want to do. It will kill me if you treated me differently because of this.”

“But Jaci,” he whispered, cupping her bruised face lightly “I like to be rough, to be in control. I’m not sure–”

“Stop! If you can’t put it behind you, I don’t want to be with you.” She looked at him defiantly. “I am not less of a woman, less of a lover because I got knocked around. If I let that happen, I’ve given them the power to destroy my life, to taint our love.” Her voice escalated to the point that she was yelling at him. She was determined. “I can’t let that happen, Xander.”

Xander paused looking at her. Seconds passed as he processed what she’d said to him. “Take your clothes off.” His deep voice was need that sizzled the air between them.

Her gaze met his. He was himself again. His look scorched her. His breathing quickened. Her nipples hardened just thinking about the new sexual adventure she was about to embark on with this hulking, smoldering man. She pulled her shirt over her head and to his credit, the only emotion she saw flash across his face was desire. If it had been anything else, she wouldn’t have been able to go on.

He started to unbutton his jeans and then looked at hers. “Take them off,” he ordered.

Jaci complied. As she stripped, so did he. Then, he walked over to his side of the room and opened the drawer in the nightstand next to the bed.

He looked to her and seeing that she was fully naked, he crooked his finger at her. “Come here.”

Instead of walking around to his side, she crawled toward him on the bed. He groaned.

When she reached him, he palmed his erection for a moment, thinking, studying her. “Hmm, suck me while I decide what’s right for you today.” He put the crest of his cock near the opening of her mouth.

He rattled around in his drawer while she covered the head of his cock with her mouth and sucked with enthusiasm. Only a slight pause betrayed the sensation he felt. He appeared absorbed in his decision making about what to choose in the drawer. She sucked him hard, down to the back of her throat, trying to get some response. He gave none except for throwing some lube and another contraption that she’d never seen before on the bed next to her.

“Oh fuck, Jaci.” He slapped her ass. “You like my cock in your mouth, don’t you?”

Her moan was a long, drawn-out vibration on his cock.

He withdrew from her mouth with a pop, because she didn’t want to let it go. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her off the bed, moving her more toward the middle. Jaci’s lust surged at his easy show of strength and mastery over her. He lay on his back and turned her around over him so that her knees were on either side of his head, and her mouth was mere inches away from his cock. He wrapped his arms around her thighs and pulled them further apart so her pussy lowered to his face. Jaci sucked in his cock like a long strand of spaghetti and cupped his balls with one hand.

It was hard to concentrate on giving him pleasure. Her mind jumbled as she scoured his cock with her tongue, scrubbing and polishing with the most savage lashes of pleasure she could deliver. He was doing the same, matching her strike for strike, sucking on her clit as hard as she suctioned him. With his arms wrapped around her thighs, his fingertips ended right at the crack of her ass. His hands worked her. He swiped his finger down the valley created by her cheeks. She jumped at the touch and tried to move, but his arms kept her in place. She tensed. She lost track of what she was doing. Her moans against the cock deep in her mouth resonated through the room and filled her ears.

“Xander, I need your cock inside me.” He ignored her at first, but then her hushed plea had him rolling her off him.

“You’ll have it soon enough.” His low, guttural tone twirled and flipped her insides in excitement. She felt danger and anticipation, possessed and cherished. He placed her on her stomach and jerked her hips up into the air. She felt the cold squirt of lube and the gentle rub of fingers down the crack of her ass. Jaci squirmed into his touch as he penetrated her rear with his finger.

She sucked in a gulp of breath.

“I’m going to slide my cock in there.” His voice was throaty. Slightly panicked she looked over her shoulder at him.

“Xander–”

“Relax, sweets. Just relax. You took the plug. You’ll be able to take me. I’ll go slow.”

Jaci turned her head back to a comfortable position and closed her eyes. When his fingers finally stopped, she felt the head of his cock at her opening. He slid it in slowly. The sexual turn on from this was new to her. It seemed like it was more for him than for herself. But she would do anything, give him everything he wanted from her as his sexual partner.

When he was all the way in, his big hands gripped her hips, holding her still. She looked over her shoulder again. The gleam in his eye as he looked down at her quickened her heart. He placed a pillow under her and then spread her legs wide. His cock was thick, stretching her to the brink of her tolerance.

“So tight, so incredibly tight,” he rumbled. He took large, ragged heaves of air into his lungs.

Reaching around her, he massaged her clit. The tiny nub of nerves was throbbing, screaming for his attention. Her hips moved into and away from the rhythmic petting of the pad of his thumb, and then the rest of him joined the choreography with the tight slide of his cock.

“Oh God,” Jaci wailed. She was stretched tight around his dick, feeling every fine movement, every infinitesimal ridge and curve.