Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) (29 page)

The
shop assistant rushed over to Dante. “Hello, Mr. Rata,” he said, looking down
at Dante’s pants. “I know the perfect match for you.” He pulled out some black,
brown and red leather pants from the rack.

Dante
snatched the red ones off him and put them back. “I don’t wanna look gay.”

Remy
went still, looking shocked, then he laughed as though Dante had told the
funniest joke. “No problem, sir.” He pulled out a couple more pairs, then took
off to the changing rooms.

Dante
followed, stopping to eye up some jackets. Jade grabbed his arm, tugging him
over to where the shop assistant was waiting, then sat down on a chair, placing
his arms over either side like it was a throne, and the ponce the queen of the
castle. “Try them on quickly, because I have other things to do.”

Dante
grabbed his own crotch. “And you won’t be doin’ me, you cock-sucker.”

Jade’s
eyes widened, then he laughed and shook his head. “You really do need to learn
some manners. You’re such a foul mouthed so-and-so.”

“So-and-so?
More like a cunt, nope, that’s wrong too, cos I’m the only one without a cunt
here.” He glanced at the shop assistant, who appeared horrified. Laughing,
Dante dumped his bag and pulled off his shirt, dropping it on the floor, then
unzipped his pants, eyeing the guy like he wanted to fuck him. He didn’t, but
it got the reaction he was after, the bloke looking like his cock was about to
explode.

“Dante!”
Jade snapped. “Please use the changing rooms.”

Dante
smiled at the shop assistant, whose face was redder than a clit in heat. “He’s
no fun, is he?”

The
shop assistant nodded, then stopped, quickly apologising to Jade.

Jade
dismissed the shop assistant’s apologies with a wave of a hand, his focus
solely on Dante. “In regards to the low riders, Dante, they are to be worn
without underwear.”

“No
fuckin’ way, I hate wearing leathers without gruds.”

“Don’t
see why, considering you’re not wearing any now.”

Dante
turned to the shop assistant, who smiled at him shyly. “He’s a pervert, always
tryna get into my pants.”

“Dante!”
Jade snapped.

“Well,
you are, and I’m not gonna wear leathers that can’t be worn with gruds.”

“Just
try them on, then you’ll understand why.”

Rolling
his eyes, Dante walked into the changing room, pulling the curtain across. He
took off his pants, and tugged on the black leathers, grunting as he did them
up. “For fuck’s sake,” he said loudly, “these are bloody tight, I need a bigger
size, they only just cover my cock and I’m not even hard.”

The
shop assistant poked his head around the curtain, his eyes instantly going to
Dante’s crotch. “No, Mr. Rata, they’re the correct size, they’re supposed to
fit you like that.”

Dante
pushed the curtain across and pointed to his package. “Seriously, who the fuck
would wear this?”

“Rock
stars,” the shop assistant answered. “Mr. Park brings all his rock clients
here, and we fit them with what suits their physiques. And I think those pants
look fantastic on you. Not many could pull them off and so well. They look
incredibly sexy.”

Dante
leaned closer to the shop assistant. “But I bet you want them off more, don’t
cha?”

The
guy’s face dropped. “Oh no, sir, I didn’t mean for you to think that.”

Dante
laughed. “Dude, I’m having ya on, though, I still reckon if I drop them you’d
bend over.”

“Dante!”
Jade snapped. “Stop teasing Remy.”

Grinning,
Dante winked at the flustered sales assistant, then went back into the changing
room and took the pants off. He grabbed the next pair, which he had no
intention of trying on, and chucked them both out of the changing room, then
grabbed the brown pair, pulling them on a lot quicker. He pushed the curtain
across. “At least these don’t make me look like a fag star.”

Jade
shook his head. “Maybe I should call your first album
Dirty Dante
,
because your mouth is dirtier than a sewer. And I liked the black pair better
on you. They show off your body deliciously.”

“I
hafta be comfortable, not have my crown jewels poking through my clothes. And
what if I saw a hot chick? I might crack a fat, then those things,” he said,
pointing at the leathers the shop assistant was holding, “wouldn’t hold my
chubby in. I’d be pulled up for indecent exposure.”

“Then
don’t ‘crack a fat’, which I presume means an erection, so your ‘chubby’, which
I gather is a code word for penis, is kept under wraps.”

“
Come
on
, I can’t wear those, only small-dicked, skinny pricks like you could get
away with it.”

“Dante!”

“Well,
it’s true.”

“Stop
being insulting. And if you don’t wear them, I won’t sign you.”

“But,
we have a deal.”

“Nothing
is on paper yet, so quit giving me trouble.”

“But
they’ll make me look gay.”

“No,
they won’t, lots of popular male rock stars wear clothes like that.”

“I
don’t care if they want to have a vice on their crown jewels, I don’t.”

“Look,
they will mostly be for photo shoots—”

“Why
would I do photo shoots?”

“Because
I want you on the cover, not to mention, there will be press releases. Plus,
don’t you think women will love you—even more than they already do, that is,
with spray-on leathers rather than those biker ones you wear. You’ve got to
propel rock star, not
Sons of Anarchy
.”

“Sons
of what?”

“Don’t
you watch television?”

“I
only rent DVDs, and they all start with a P and end with a big O.”

The
shop assistant snorted a laugh, capturing Dante’s attention. “I bet you watch
pornos too,” Dante said. “What’s your favourite?
Deano Does Dallas
?”

“Dante!”
Jade yelled.

Dante
ignored him. “Or what about
Deep Throat:
the gay edition, where no straight
man wants to go.” He waggled his tongue at the shop assistant, who covered his
face, looking like he was going to burst into flame.

“Dante!!!
That’s quite enough.” Jade got up off his throne and turned to the shop
assistant. “I do apologise, Remy. Go take everything to the counter, while I
deal with this rude man.”

The
shop assistant rushed off, like he couldn’t get out of the changing area fast
enough.

Jade
shook his head at Dante. “Do you ever think before opening your mouth?”

“Nah,
it’s a waste of time, cos no matter what I say it’s wrong.”

Jade
exhaled. “Take the tops on your right, and try each one on with the next set of
leathers.

“’Kay,
bossy-boots-man.” Dante grabbed them and went back into the little room,
changing into the last pair, those fairly comfortable. He then picked up the
vest that Jade had chosen for him, disgusted that he was even expected to try
it on. He chucked it out of the changing room, yelling, “I ain’t one of the
Village People, YMCA-fuckwit,” then slipped on a black shirt, followed by a
white one. Satisfied with them, he biffed them through, saying, “Buy those
two.” He then started checking the rest, chucking out each piece of clothing
one at a time and yelling out, “Too many holes,” “Not a loser,” “In your
dreams,” “Even too gay for you,” and “Definitely not gonna wear pink.” He
changed back into his own pants, then picked up everything else he was happy
with. As he exited the changing room, he threw a gold T-shirt at Jade’s face,
annoyed that the guy even considered it.

Removing
it, Jade tsked at Dante, like he was a naughty child.

“Can
we go now?” Dante asked, “I’m sick of this shopping shit.”

“Please
stop using that horrid word in every sentence. Show some manners.”

“What
word?”

“The
S one.”

“What?
Shit
?”

“Yes.
Can’t you talk without adding it to everything?”

“’Kay,
no probs, I’ll fix what I’ve said, your royal queen-ness.” Dante smiled. “Can
we go now, cos I’m sick of this
fuckin’
shopping.”

Jade
shook his head.

“What?”
Dante said. “I didn’t say
shit
.”

The
shop assistant snorted behind the till, trying to smother his laughter with a
hand.

Dante
headed for him, dumping the clothes he liked on the counter. “Put all the good
shit on anal-retentive’s card.”

The
shop assistant laughed, then apologised to Jade as he started tilling up the
clothes. Dante grabbed the low riders off him. “Not those.”

Jade
came up behind Dante and patted his arse, making him jump. “Yes those, because
we’re taking everything,” he said, placing the rest of the clothes on the
counter.

“Then
you’ll be wearing them.”

“Only
the cost.”

“Well,
it’s your money, but best of luck gettin’ them on me.”

Jade
smiled. “I’ll make you wear every piece here, because I’ve made you do things
you haven’t wanted before.”

Dante
scowled at him. “Whatever.” He turned and headed for the door, snatching up the
pair of leathers he liked. “Put these on the account too.”

“Have
everything delivered by noon tomorrow,” Jade said to Remy, then rushed after
Dante, holding the black spray-on leathers. “I expect you to wear these to the
party tomorrow.”

“Like
hell.”

“And
without a shirt—I want you looking the part. Your tattoos are divine.”

“
Divine
,”
Dante mimicked as he pulled open the door of Jade’s Ferrari.

Jade
climbed into the driver’s side. “And you will reign in your colourful language.
I know rock stars are a law unto themselves, but you are not one yet, so don’t
you dare sabotage things at the party. You may flirt all you want, but without
insulting people. Capisce?”

“I
won’t embarrass you—
that much
.”

“At
all,” Jade said, placing a hand on Dante’s leg.

Dante
pushed it off. “’Kay, just stop touching me, and your gay friends better not
think it’s alright to feel the goods like you do.”

“Oh,
they will, but most of them won’t be there. This is a very expensive soiree
that even they can’t afford.”

“
Swaray,
what?”

“Party.”

“Then
why didn’t you just say that instead of speaking frog. I only know Croatian and
Māori.”

“And
apparently not English very well, because soiree’s in the dictionary.”

“Don’t
insult me.”

“Then
don’t be so rude.”

“Whatever;
just drive, James.” Dante snorted, then started singing in a high voice,
imitating Katy Perry
. “I fucked the chauffeur and I didn’t like it.”

“I’m
not your chauffeur.”

“You
are now, and hurry up, cos I needa get back so I can sort some shit out.”

“You
said the S word again.”

“You
sound like my nine-year-old nephew.”

“I
hope you don’t swear in front of him.”

“I
don’t intend to, shit just comes outta my mouth.”

“You
said it again. God, you’re frustrating.”

“I
can say the same thing ’bout you too.” Dante leaned towards him. “And at least
I don’t suck other men’s dicks.”

Jade
shook his head. “You’re lucky you’re so hot, otherwise I wouldn’t be offering
you anything.”

“All
I want is a record contract, not your arse-hole.”

Grumbling
under his breath, Jade started the car, then pulled out into the traffic.
“Let’s just go home. The studio can wait until tomorrow.”

“Nope,
I need you to take me to the pub to get my car, then I hafta go grab a few
things from home.”

“Your
soon to be old home.” Jade smiled. “And I’ll help.”

“Nah,
I can do it myself.”

“But
I want to meet your family.”

“Not
a good idea, cos my bro knows you’ve been stalking me.”

“Then
tell him differently.”

“Nope,
you’re not goin’ anywhere near my family.”

Jade
stopped at a red light. “Then I won’t sign you if you’re going to cut me out of
a big part of your life.”

“Stop
fuckin’ using that against me every time I say no; and you’re sounding like you
think I’m your boyfriend, which I’m not.”

“Stop
swearing.”

“Then
stop laying demands on me.”

“I
only want to meet your family, especially Ash,” Jade said, pulling away from
the lights.

“Why
do ya wanna meet him for?”

“Because
if he sings as well as you; I’ll sign both of you up.”

“He
can sing, but he’s more into art, and there’s no way in hell he’ll wear what
you want, and if you look at him the wrong way you’ll get your arse literally
thrown out of the house, which he’s done to visitors before.”