Beguiling the Earl (22 page)

She wouldn’t give them anything more to gossip about and proceeded to dress as though it were any other morning, then headed downstairs.

Breakfast, however, proved to be more awkward than she’d anticipated. She had grown used to having breakfast alone in her room, but Louisa and Nicholas must have decided to join her when they learned she hadn’t asked for her customary breakfast tray in her room.

Louisa took very small bites from a piece of toast, the effort appearing to cost her a great deal. Catherine expected it was sheer force of will alone that kept her sister from jumping up from the table and emptying the contents of her stomach. She and Nicholas alternated between watching her carefully and turning their attention back to their plates.

Catherine ate quickly, anxious to be away from the tense environment. She’d just finished her tea when Nicholas slammed his fork down on the table. She jumped in surprise but didn’t miss the look that Louisa aimed at her husband.

“I can’t remain silent,” he told his wife before turning to face Catherine. “Kerrick is like a brother to me, but if he has laid even a finger on you, I will call him out.”

“No, you won’t,” Louisa said.

His expression was one of incredulous disbelief. “How can you say that? We all knew he was courting Rose Hardwick, yet he did nothing to dissuade Catherine from pinning her hopes on him.”

“You know what he does. There may have been reasons—”

“His reasons can go to the devil, and him right along with them.”

Catherine felt her carefully constructed façade begin to crack. She couldn’t do this right now. Her hold on her sanity was tenuous at best. She stood and both of them turned their attention back to her. They’d been so focused on their own argument it was almost as though they’d forgotten she was even in the room.

“Nothing happened between us. Nothing that wasn’t of my own imagination.”

Nicholas scowled. “Don’t feel that you have to lie to protect him.”

She wanted to say more, but couldn’t. Emotion clogged her throat and she knew that one more syllable from her, or one more look of sympathy from her sister, would see her dissolving in a puddle of tears. Before that could happen, she turned and fled from the room, only to be brought up short by the flurry of activity in the front hall.

Louisa had followed her from the breakfast room and she stopped beside her, waiting while the butler spoke to the two burly men in the doorway.

“My lady,” he said to Louisa when he noticed the two of them standing there. He glanced past them and Catherine knew that Nicholas had joined them. “My lord, I was just informing these gentlemen that deliveries are to be made at the kitchen door.

The men seemed to take affront at his statement. “We’re not deliverymen,” one of them said, stepping farther into the hallway. The butler tried to stop him, but he was no match for the stout fellow. “We work for Kew Gardens and are here as a favor to the Earl of Kerrick.”

Just the mention of his name caused a quick stab of pain to go through her. Louisa turned to her for clarification, but Catherine could only shake her head in bewilderment. “I don’t know what it could be. He said nothing to me.”

Louisa turned to her husband. “Nicholas?”

His jaw tightened and his hands had clenched into fists. “He certainly wouldn’t be sending me anything from Kew Gardens.”

Catherine closed her eyes, a horrible presentiment settling over her. They’d never spoken of it, but somehow she knew what the men were there to deliver.

“The tree is potted and we can bring it ’round to the back of the house if you have a garden. But there are very specific instructions for its care. I can’t just leave it here until I know it will be properly looked after. It is quite valuable…”

Catherine wasn’t aware she’d started moving until she’d pushed past the two startled men and stepped out onto the front steps of the town house. There, on the back of a large wagon drawn by two horses, stood a moderately sized orange tree.

Memories she’d been trying so hard to keep at bay swept over her then. She could still recall every detail of that first outing at Kew Gardens with the Duke and Duchess of Clarington when Kerrick had first arrived in London. How he’d arranged to have the head gardener himself escort them for most of their tour. And, of course, there had been their trip to the orangery. It was there that something had changed between them, and Kerrick had finally started to see her as a woman and not just Louisa’s younger sister. She’d thought him bored beyond reason during most of their visit, yet he’d been patient. And clearly he’d taken note of her interest in the orange trees.

She wouldn’t be able to keep it once summer ended. Mr. Clifton had explained how the trees were not receiving enough light at the orangery and were suffering during the winter months, and she didn’t think they’d fare any better at the conservatory attached to Overlea Manor. It seemed that, like Kerrick himself, she wouldn’t be able to keep this gift.

Somehow she turned and faced the group of people who were watching her in silence and managed to keep her voice even when she spoke. “I met with Mr. Clifton and remember what he told me about their care.”

She wanted to say more but found she could no longer hold back the crush of emotions threatening to engulf her. She didn’t need to ask to be excused. The group split in two and in silence she took the path they’d opened up. She heard Louisa speaking to the men, telling them to bring the orange tree to the back garden through the mews, but her destination was the music room toward the rear of the house. If she returned to her bedroom now, she wouldn’t be able to hold back her tears.

She’d almost made it when a voice stopped her cold.

“I don’t care what you plan to do to me, but I must speak to Catherine.”

Kerrick.

She heard footsteps. Fear gripped her as she stood frozen to the spot, unsure whether she should flee the remaining few steps to the music room or turn around. Somehow she knew he wouldn’t be deterred by her brother-in-law who, despite his assertions to the contrary, would never harm one of his closest friends.

The footsteps stopped and a short silence followed before he finally spoke. “Catherine.”

Gathering her courage, she turned to face him. When she did, she realized she’d been hoping to see some indication that he felt even a fraction of the anguish she didn’t think would ever leave her. But instead he seemed remarkably calm. In fact, he didn’t appear sad at all. For the first time since all her hopes had been dashed, the stirrings of anger ignited within.

“I believe we’ve already said all there is to say. If you came to apologize, you needn’t have wasted your time.” She darted a quick look at Louisa and Nicholas, aware that they were listening to every word she spoke with keen interest. While she was hurt, and the temptation to lash out at him in anger was growing with swiftness, she’d promised Kerrick she wouldn’t reveal just how far their relationship had developed. It was a promise she meant to keep and so she chose her next words with care. “I understand that you had little choice in how things played out. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

She started this time for the stairway. The music room wasn’t far enough away from everyone and the tears pricking the back of her eyes wouldn’t be denied for much longer.

“Catherine, please. I must speak to you.”

She heard him begin to follow and fought against the almost overwhelming urge to run.

“Let go of me, Nicholas, or you’ll lose your hand,” she heard him say.

“Haven’t you already hurt her enough?”

“I’m not leaving until we’ve spoken,” he called after her. “I’ll haunt your doorway if I have to. Eventually you will speak to me.”

She halted and brushed angrily at a tear that had escaped. She couldn’t speak to him and keep a hold of the tenuous grip she currently had on her dignity. But it appeared there would be no way out of the impending confrontation. She closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep, shaky breath, and turned to face him.

“I was headed to the music room. We can speak there.”

She didn’t wait to see if he would be allowed to follow. The voices of her family warred with Kerrick’s. Nicholas didn’t want to allow it, but Louisa urged him to allow them five minutes together. Catherine had just crossed the threshold into the music room when she heard her brother-in-law reluctantly agree.

She walked over to the windows, which overlooked their small back garden. The gardeners were just bringing in the orange tree, the two of them straining under the weight of the large pot holding it.

Dread settled in the pit of her stomach. The very last thing she wanted was to face Kerrick right now—her emotions were still too raw. She continued to watch the gardeners in silence as Kerrick entered the room and moved to stand beside her.

“I’m so sorry—”

“The orange tree was extravagant. You shouldn’t have gone to the trouble or the expense.”

“I have five minutes before Nicholas comes in here and beats me to a bloody pulp. I don’t intend to waste that time making small talk.”

She gave her head a small shake. “I can’t…” She had to take a deep breath before she could find the strength to turn and face him. “You should go. There’s nothing more to be said. Any fantasies I might have had about a future with you are now a thing of the past. And the very last thing I need to hear right now is your apology.”

She started for the door, but he reached out and gripped her arm, halting her progress. She tried to pull away but was no match for his strength. He pulled her toward him and grasped her other hand.

It hurt too much to look at him and so she gazed, instead, at their joined hands.

“I’m not marrying Rose.”

Her head snapped up at that softly spoken statement, and for a moment she feared her grief was causing her to lose track of her faculties. But the way his mouth lifted at the corners, the slight gleam in his eyes that hinted at anything but sorrow, led her to believe otherwise. She couldn’t keep the slight tremble from her voice as she asked, “What did you say?”

He lifted her hands to his mouth and dropped kisses on her fingers before replying. “I’m not marrying Rose. She’s already started to spread word that she’s broken our engagement.”

Emotion warred within her, but the one that stood at the forefront was joy. Kerrick wasn’t going to marry another woman… one whom she’d come to think of as a good friend. “You won’t be marrying Rose.” She repeated the words with wonder, allowing herself to actually believe they were true.

His smile broadened. “No. But that leads me to another subject. Since I’m in danger of being dragged out of here at any moment, I don’t have the luxury of time. I probably don’t deserve such happiness—not after the hurt I caused you—but I’m selfish enough to cling to the hope that you’ll consent to be my wife.”

Words escaped her. That he could even doubt she’d say yes… She could only nod, tears of happiness threatening to overwhelm her as he dragged her into his arms.

“Thank God,” he said, his arms tightening around her. “I was afraid you’d never forgive me. I’m not sure I would have were I in your shoes.”

She shook her head and looked up at him in wonder. “There could never be anyone else for me. That you could doubt me—”

“No, never that. I feared, though, that you would doubt the depth of my love for you. After what I put you through…” He closed his eyes for a brief moment, and she could see the self-recrimination etched on his face. “I can’t even begin to express how angry I am with myself for causing you such hurt. I never should have allowed myself to indulge my desire for you. Not until after my assignment was over.”

She caressed his cheek, unable to believe that he would take all the blame for their relationship onto himself. “I didn’t give you a choice.”

He laughed at that. “No, you didn’t. But to be honest, I’m not sure I would have been able to stop myself even without your encouragement. Still, despite the fact that I knew you cared for me, you had me worried.” He stopped and she could sense him warring with whether to continue.

“Why?”

“Thornton and all those others vying for your attention… I kept expecting you to decide I wasn’t worth the bother.”

“You would not be the man I loved if you had stood back and allowed Rose’s reputation to fall into ruin. While a part of me hated you for that, another part loved you all the more.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and the remaining tension in his body drained away.

“So it was Rose who broke the engagement?”

He nodded in reply. “In the end, she was the noblest of us all.”

Catherine shook her head. “She cares for another. She is a dear friend, but her willingness to suffer the gossip following a broken engagement was not just for the two of us. She never told me who it was she cares for, but I can only hope that whoever he is, he is worthy of her.”

His expression turned grave. “I’m not sure anyone would have her now.”

She sucked in her breath and let it out in a rush. “Her father…”

He nodded. “Worthington confessed to passing confidential information to the French.”

“So he was guilty after all. Poor Rose,” she said, a pang of regret for her friend going through her. “We must do everything we can for her. I will not abandon her.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. I also happen to agree, especially since I’m not at all certain his involvement in the whole scheme was voluntary.”

Catherine pulled back at that. “So we can still help her? What can I do?”

“No,” Kerrick said, drawing her back into his arms. “I am out of it, as are you. You’ll have to settle for living the life of an ordinary countess.”

“But we must help Rose—”

“She has the best help available to her at the moment. And no,” he said, placing a finger over her lips to still the questions that sprang to mind, “I won’t tell you who that is.”

She drew his finger into her mouth and his gaze zeroed in on her lips, his eyes darkening. “I think I can guess,” she said after releasing him. “He has fair hair and also happens to be an earl—”

His mouth settled over hers and she leaned into him, taking comfort from the knowledge that there would now be many more kisses in her future. She made a soft sound of protest when he drew back.