Jill sighed heavily and lowered her hands. “Indescribable. But that was it for us, just that one night. We both agreed to no more, and I wasn’t even supposed to see him again before he showed up next door. He’s heading to San Fran soon. It’s over.”
“You really believe that?” Liz asked.
“Yes.” Jill shook her head. She laughed ruefully. “No. I’m trying to make myself believe it, but I’m starting to cave. And that frightens me. If I let myself have more, I’m going to want the whole package…and that’s not something Cole can give me.”
Liz covered Jill’s hand with hers. “I know the one-night stand thing is not you, honey. But I’m happy that you got to have that experience. You’ve spent so much of your life taking care of people. First your daddy…having to take care of him every day when he couldn’t even remember your name…” Liz shuddered. “I can’t imagine how hard that was on you. Then, having to be strong for your mom until the end. And now taking care of these babies every day. You deserve some plain old fun sometimes. But I’m glad you’re being careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I don’t want me to get hurt, either. That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. He’ll be gone soon. I just want to help him through this if I can, but I’m keeping my head about me. And my hands to myself. I have to.”
“Just remember,” Liz said, “it’s not your job to take care of him. He’s a big boy, Jill.”
Oh, yes he is,
Jill thought.
The rest of the day flew by. Seven scrambled eggs on toast and seven glasses of milk. Seven brushings of teeth and washing of hands. A little bit of cartoon watching until everyone was there, then working on numbers 1-10, practicing ABC’s for the older kids, and stacking blocks for the little ones. Snack time, Chutes and Ladders, lunch time, naps, crafts, then story time. It all whizzed by in a blur until finally they all sat down with snacks and a movie, as one by one, the kids got picked up to go home.
Jill sat with Anaya on her lap and Charlie pressed up against her other side. Together, they relaxed in a big, happy clump. By the time six o’clock rolled around, only Jill and Stanley were left. Stanley’s father was getting later and later with his pick-ups, with no explanation or prior arrangements. Yes, given some of her kids had parents who were sick, she was all about being flexible. She would be flexible even in cases where a family member wasn’t sick, as was the case with Stanley. But Jason’s tardiness was unexplained and frequent. It just wasn’t right. She’d hate to start charging him extra but she didn’t want to feel taken advantage of either. She’d have to talk to him about it. But worst of all was her worry over what Stanley might be feeling, like maybe his dad didn’t want to come get him.
Fifteen minutes after the movie ended, the doorbell rang. Finally. She opened the door to let Jason in and took out Stanley’s things from his cubby. She struggled with her conscience—she really needed to inform Jason he must be on time, but she didn’t want to lecture the man in front of his son. She’d give him a call tomorrow, she decided, then knelt down to say goodbye to Stanley. “You be good, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” She gave him her usual parting hug.
Stanley surprised her by putting his little arms around her neck and hugging her tightly. He wasn’t usually such an affectionate kid. “Bye, Miss Jill,” he said before letting go.
When she straightened up, Jason surprised her even more by touching her arm. She had to physically hold herself in place to keep from jerking away. “Nothing bad ever happens to him here.” Jason stared into Jill’s eyes a little too long. “I tell him all the time how lucky he is that he gets to spend so much time with you.”
Jill plastered on a polite smile. “Oh, how lovely. Thank you.” She tried not to sound too happy, so he wouldn’t pay her another compliment. He was only being polite, but still, she didn’t want to encourage him, either.
“Evening,” a male voice said behind them.
Jill took the opportunity to step back and out of Jason’s touch. “Cole! Hello!” She smiled at Cole and tried sending him please-help-me vibes through her widened eyes. “Come on in and I’ll get you what you needed.”
Cole apparently recognized the discomfort in her stance and gaze. He moved in a little closer. “Yeah…the thing…I was coming to get. ’Scuse me,” he said to Jason, so he could get past him.
Jason hadn’t stopped staring at Jill but eventually turned to face Cole. Stanley darted out the door and past his father, his head down, but Jason didn’t move. The two men stood with their feet braced apart, sizing each other up.
“Cole Novak,” Cole said with his hand out.
Jill let out a breath as Jason shook hands with him. “Jason Baker.”
Cole nodded. “Stanley’s dad, I take it.”
Something flashed over Jason’s face, but Jill couldn’t figure out the emotion. Instead of glancing at his son, Jason shoved past Cole and walked out the door. He paused halfway down the walkway and turned around.
Cole slid one massive arm across her shoulders and said softly, “Baby, I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day.” Suddenly, Cole leaned down and planted a kiss on her mouth—not a slow and sensual one, but a quick appetizer of a kiss—then he shut the door.
“Oh, my God, Cole, thank you!” Without thinking about it, Jill rested her head against Cole’s chest and took several breaths.
“What the hell was that?” He nudged her back to look in her eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry…I…” She immediately felt her cheeks heat. Maybe she shouldn’t have reached out and touched Cole to calm her nerves?
“No, not you,” he said, lacing his arm around her shoulder again. “I mean, what the hell was that vibe between you and that guy?”
“Nothing.” She waved a hand.
“I’m not buying it. As soon as I saw your face, I knew whatever was happening wasn’t good. Has he been causing problems?”
“No, no problems. He brings Stanley here five days a week and now he’s picking him up later and later.” She didn’t want to mention how she suspected Jason was interested in her. She was afraid Cole would think she was trying to make him jealous, but then again, it was probably all very clear from the interaction he saw.
“Hmm, maybe he’s just looking for an excuse to see you every day and get you alone,” Cole said. “Guess I can’t blame the guy.” He ran his knuckles down her arm. The touch wasn’t exactly intimate, but it still sent shivers up her arms and back. “You sure you’re okay?”
“You’re not mad I snuck a kiss?”
“No. But you call that a kiss?” she said, clucking her tongue. Oh, man, she was flirting, and she knew it. She could still taste his lips on hers, but it wasn’t enough. It was only a teaser that had made her crave more. A lot more.
“Is that a challenge or an invitation?” He stepped even closer.
Why did he have to smell so good on top of looking like a freaking Greek god? Her heartbeat rang in her ears as she breathed him in. It should be illegal for any one man to smell that nice. How was she supposed to resist him?
She couldn’t. Not anymore.
She wanted this and didn’t care if it was right or not. Cole was leaving. But he wanted her, and she couldn’t resist the chance to enjoy him again.
“Do you want me to give you a real kiss, Jill?” He lowered his voice. The effect was the same as a sledgehammer tearing down one last piece of wall…
She reached for him and laid her palm flat on his chest. He understood the invitation and closed the gap between them, sliding a hand behind her head to tilt her face up to his mouth. He kissed her hungrily, pulling her tighter against him, one hand roving up her back while the other slid down her waistline to her ass.
She pulled back just enough to say, “I wanted you so bad last night. Since the moment I walked out of that hotel. I know I said we should stay away from each other because you’re leaving, but…I don’t want to stay away anymore. I want to have you again, Cole, even if it’s just once more time. But I don’t want to play games with your head.”
“I know. Believe me, I get it. I don’t think you’re playing games. I know you’re just trying to do what’s right. To protect us both.” He pressed his hips against hers. “But God, I want you in my arms again, too.” He kissed her hard, alternating between sweet kisses and devouring her, then nibbled down her neck.
His hands teased all over her body, just the way she wanted. “Yes, yes, please. I want more.” She held fast to his arms, letting herself feel lost in their strength.
Knowing what she wanted, sensing what she needed, he lifted her up and carried her down the hall, looking for her bedroom. Once there, he playfully tossed her on the bed. “Now, if I recall correctly, sex was only on the table for one night. But from what you just said, it looks like kissing is okay now.”
Jill shook her head, completely out of breath. “No. I mean yes. But I want more than—”
“Shh. Let’s start slow. So I know you’re with me every step of the way. Kissing is okay?” he asked, luring a reply out of her mouth with a soft kiss to her top lip.
Jill nodded her head. Vigorously.
He smirked and proceeded to slowly pull his shirt over his head, revealing his hard pecs and perfectly defined abdominal muscles. How he could think she was ever going to
just kiss
him was beyond her, but she hoped she was right and that he was going to take things well beyond that…eventually.
Shamelessly panting and wanting to urge him along, Jill sat up to pull her own shirt off.
“I thought we were just kissing,” he teased.
“We can kiss other places. I can think of one particular place I want to kiss you that I haven’t in a while.” Boldly, she reached out to cup him between his legs.
His eyes darkened and he raised one eyebrow. Gently, he removed Jill’s hand and pinned it beside her on the bed. “Just kissing, remember?”
“Guidelines are for breaking!” She gasped out the words, unable to hold her body still. “Didn’t you know that?”
“Hmm, I thought you might say that. Well…I suppose you can
look
, too.” He moved his hands down, ever so slowly, reaching for his belt. He took his time pulling the belt through the loop to loosen it. By the time he finally let his jeans shake loose, his rock hard cock tented his boxer-briefs, making Jill’s body clench with need. “Do you want to look at more? Kiss more?” he asked. “You tell me, Jill.”
“Hmm, hmm,” was all she could reply.
She tried reaching for her shirt, but he took her hands and pinned them down. Then, he lowered his boxers an inch and asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yes!” she finally said.
“Positive?” He pulled his boxers up again. “Because if you put your mouth on me, I’m not sure I could stick to just kissing. I’d want to touch you. Fuck you.”
She moaned.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes!”
He crawled up the bed toward her, and the sight of that made her instantly wet—well, wetter. She craned upward, wanting his mouth on hers, but he went for her ear instead. Feeling his warm lips on her earlobe and then her neck sent shivers up her arms. She gasped. Her entire body felt on fire, her core throbbing.
Cole kissed her neck and flipped her over, then hovered over her body without making contact, which had her writhing underneath him. His lips worked circles on her back as she arched her back up to find his body. He didn’t allow her to touch him but instead kissed a trail down her spine to the small of her back, where he mumbled into her skin.
Jill moaned. What a terrible, mean man he was. She bit her lip and smiled into her pillow.
“I love running my lips all over you and feeling you wiggle. I admit, if all you let me do was kiss you, I’d die a happy man. Frustrated, but happy.”
He touched her back lightly, running his fingertips up and down, and then around her waist to the dip by her hip. She almost screamed from anticipation and involuntarily arched her ass up into him. Cole’s other hand caressed her breast before sliding down her jeans and finding her slick and longing for him inside her panties. “Is touching okay?” he asked.
“Oh, my God…” Jill panted into the bed, gripping the comforter in both hands as he ran his finger in and out, slowly at first, then faster. Suddenly, he leaned down so his face fell next to hers. He kissed her mouth while working her, their tongues mingling.
She heard a sound behind her and realized he was pushing down his jeans. She hoped he was after a condom—she needed him more than she’d ever needed anything in her life right now. He straightened to roll the condom on and started to turn her over.
“No!” She stopped him. “Like this.”
“Like this?” He positioned himself behind her, pressing his hardness against her ass, teasing and rubbing. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she pushed back. He groaned and abruptly pulled her jeans and panties off completely before immediately pressing against her again.
He slid into her from behind, his thick heat filling her core, making her feel fuller than she’d ever felt.
God, it was heaven. She loved the feel of his hands and the feel of him inside her, and especially the feel of his body slapping against her ass. She couldn’t believe how horny and naughty he made her! “Harder,” she begged.
He gave it to her the way she wanted until she couldn’t take it anymore. Thankfully, he was there too and together they gasped and shuddered in orgasm. Collapsing onto the bed, they breathed heavily. A wave of pleasure rolled through her body. She closed her eyes to fully enjoy the erotic sensations.
When she opened her eyes, she found Cole watching her, a contented look on his face. Spent and happy, they gazed into each other’s eyes while he lazily ran a finger along her arm and over her elbow. “You really are beautiful,” he said, his voice soft.
“You’re beautiful, too.” She smiled.
“Beautiful enough to want to spend more time with me?” His voice was hopeful but ready for rejection just the same. “I know you said just one more time, Jill, but I want more than that.”
Her smile dimmed. “Cole, this was amazing, but…”
“Look,” he said softly. “You know exactly where I’m at in my life. That I can’t make you any promises beyond being here for the next couple of days. Maybe it’s wrong of me to ask for more time with you but… We’re great in bed together. Of course I want more of that. But that’s not all I want. I want to enjoy your company. I want to get to know you better. It’d be a waste if we let the opportunity to spend more time together go by, don’t you think?”