Because It Is My Blood (32 page)

I interrupted him. “What is your point, Fats?”

“My point is, a vampire is always a vampire. We Balanchines are vampires, Annie. We will always be vampires. We live in the night. In the dark.”

“No, I disagree. Balanchine Chocolate was around before the chocolate banning. Daddy wasn’t always a criminal. He was an honest businessman, dealing with obstacles.” I shook my head. “There has to be a better way.”

“You’re young. It’d be wrong for you not to think that,” Fats said. He reached out his hand across the table. “Come see me with your next big idea, kid.”

I walked home from the Pool. It was a long walk, past Holy Trinity and through the park. The park looked about the same as the last time I’d been there—sere, seedy. I jogged across the Great Lawn, and I had just about hit the south side of Little Egypt when I heard the sound of a little girl screaming. She was standing by a graffiti-covered bronze statue of a bear. She didn’t have shoes on and her only clothing was a T-shirt. I went up to her. “Are you okay? Can I help you?”

She shook her head and started to cry. That was when a man jumped me from behind. I felt his arm around my neck. “Gimme all your money,” he said. Obviously, he and the little girl were a team. It was a shakedown. I can only attribute my imprudence to the fact that I had been preoccupied and dejected because of Fats’s rejection of my idea.

I only had a little money on me, which I gave to the man. I did have my machete but I wasn’t going to kill someone over a small amount of money.

“Stop,”
a brassy voice called.
“I know her.”

I looked in the direction of the voice. A girl with mousy brown hair cut short looked at me. My old bunkmate, Mouse.

“She’s okay,” Mouse said. “We were at Liberty together.”

The man loosened his grip. “Really? Her?”

Mouse came up to me. “Yeah,” Mouse said to her colleague. “That’s Anya Balanchine. You don’t want to mess with her.” Mouse smelled foul and her hair was matted and dirty. I suspected that she had been sleeping outside.

“Mouse,” I said. “You talk now.”

“I do. I’m cured, thanks to you.”

I didn’t need to ask her what she’d been up to. She was obviously a member of some kind of band of juvenile criminals.

I asked her if she had ever called Simon Green.

“Yes,” she told me. “But he didn’t know who I was so he basically blew me off. I don’t blame you. You had a lot on your hands.”

“I’m sorry for that,” I said. “If there’s ever anything I can do to help…”

“How about that job?” Mouse asked.

I told her I was out of the family business, but maybe I could help her financially.

Mouse shook her head. “I don’t take handouts, Anya. Like I told you at Liberty, I work for my keep.”

I definitely owed her. “Maybe my cousin Fats could give you a job.”

“Yeah? I’d like that.”

I asked her how I could get in touch with her. “I’m here,” she said. “I sleep behind the statue of the bear.”

“It’s nice to talk to you at last, Kate,” I said.

“Shh,” she said. “The name’s classified.”

When I got home, the first thing I did was contact Fats at the Pool. He said he was surprised to hear from me so soon, but that he’d be happy to give my friend a job. Despite the fact that he’d abjectly rejected the idea I thought was going to save us all, Fats was a good guy.

Win came over that night. “You’re quiet,” he said.

“I thought I’d come up with something really smart,” I said. I described my idea to him, and then I told him the reasons Fats had said it wouldn’t work.

“So that’s what the cacao rally was about and why you’ve been so secretive,” Win said.

I nodded. “I really wanted it to work.”

Win took my hand. “I hope you won’t take this the wrong way but I’m kind of glad that it didn’t work. Even if there were a legal way to justify selling chocolate, you’d end up in court all the time. You’d be fighting City Hall and public opinion and even your own family, it sounds like. Why would you want to take on all of that? Not having anything to do after high school is not a good enough reason.”

“Win! That’s not the reason! How stupid do you think I am?” I shook my head. “It might sound silly to you, but there’s some part of me that always wanted to be the person who returned Balanchine Chocolate to the right side of the law, I guess. For Daddy.”

“Look, Annie. You gave the business to Fats. Sophia and Mickey are gone. Yuji Ono, too. You really can be free of this now. It’s a gift, if you choose to see it that way.”

He kissed me, but I didn’t feel like being kissed.

“Are you angry at me?” Win asked.

“No.” I was.

“Let me see your eyes.”

I turned them on him.

“My father’s the same way.”

“Don’t compare me to him.”

“He’s done nothing for the past six months because he lost the election when really, losing the election was a gift to all of us. Me. You. My mother. And especially him, if the bastard could just open up his eyes and see it.”

I didn’t say anything for such a long time that Win finally changed the subject.

“Graduation is next Wednesday. Are you coming?” Win asked.

“Do you want me to?” I replied with a question of my own.

“I don’t care,” Win said.

But obviously he did want me to come if he was bringing it up.

“I’m giving the salutatorian speech if you’re interested,” Win continued.

“That’s right. You’re smart. I forget that sometimes.”

“Hey.” Win smiled.

I asked him if he knew what he planned to say.

“It’ll be a surprise,” he promised.

That was how Natty, Noriko, and I found ourselves at Trinity’s high school graduation.

Win’s speech was, I think, in part directed at me and in part directed at his father. It was about questioning what society tells you and standing up to authority and other things that have probably been said at countless other graduations. He had acquired his father’s gift for oration, so in terms of the crowd’s response, it barely mattered what he said. I clapped as much as anyone else.

Did I feel a twinge at the sight of my classmates walking across the stage? Yes, I did. More than just a twinge actually.

Scarlet waved to us as she accepted her diploma. After some amount of back-and-forth, the administration had allowed her to walk at graduation while pregnant. Cap-and-gown was basically like a maternity dress, so Scarlet didn’t stick out much anyway. And from the point of view of Trinity, it was far worse
not
to keep one’s baby than to keep it. Gable met her on the other side of the stage to help her down the steps.

When they reached the bottom, Gable got down on one knee.

“Oh no,” Natty said. “I think Gable’s proposing again.”

I dismissed her. “Gable wouldn’t do that here.”

“He is. Look, he’s taking a little jewelry box out of his pocket,” Natty said.

“Romantic,” Noriko said. “So romantic.” And I imagine it did look romantic if you didn’t know either of the parties involved.

“Poor Scarlet,” I said. “She must be so embarrassed.”

At that moment, a cheer went through the gymnasium. We were sitting toward the back, so I could no longer see Scarlet or Arsley. “What?” I asked. “What just happened?” I stood.

Scarlet and Arsley were kissing. He had his arms around her.

“Maybe she’s letting him down easy?” I said. But even as I said it, I knew that she wasn’t.

After graduation was over, I scrambled to the front to find Scarlet but she’d already left. I spotted Scarlet and her parents outside. They were standing in a coven with Gable Arsley’s parents. I grabbed Scarlet’s hand and pulled her away.

“What is
wrong
with you?” I asked as soon as I’d gotten her alone.

Scarlet shrugged. “I’m sorry, Annie. I knew how you’d feel but … with the baby coming, I just got worn down.” She sighed. “I’m worn out. I even wore flats to graduation. Can you imagine me—”

“I told you that you could stay with me!”

“Could I really? It’s a nice offer, Annie, but I don’t think I could. Leo’s wife is there. And Leo will be back. And there won’t be any room for me and a baby.”

“Yes there will, Scarlet! I’ll make room.”

She didn’t say anything. Even in flats, she was taller than me. She looked over my head. She didn’t seem to be looking at anything specific other than
not at me.
Her expression was even and the set of her mouth was firm.

“Scarlet, if you seriously marry Gable Arsley, you and I won’t be friends anymore.”

“Don’t be dramatic, Annie. We’ll always be friends.”

“We won’t,” I insisted. “I know Gable Arsley. If you marry him, your life will be ruined.”

“Well, then it’s ruined. It was already ruined,” she said calmly.

Gable came up to us. “I assume you’re here to congratulate us, Anya.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t know how you’ve fooled her, Gable. What you did to make her change her mind.”

“This isn’t about Scarlet. It’s about you, Anya. Like it always has to be,” Gable said calmly.

Not for the first time, I wanted to smack him across his face. Suddenly, I felt Natty’s hand in mine.

“Let’s go,” she whispered.

“Goodbye,” Scarlet called.

My jaw wobbled like a three-legged stool, but I did not cry.

“Anya, we aren’t children anymore!” Scarlet said.

In that moment, I hated her—for implying that the reason I objected to her marrying that sociopath was because I was somehow stunted and pathetically suspended in childhood. As if I hadn’t been forced to do away with childish things years ago. “Do you mean because we graduated or because you’re knocked up?” Even as I said it, I knew it was cruel.

“
We
didn’t graduate!” Scarlet yelled back. “
I
graduated. And for the record, my job title is not Professional Best Friend to Anya Balanchine!”

“If it were, you’d be fired!”

“Okay,” Natty said. “You two really need to stop now. You’re both being awful.” Natty went up to Scarlet and embraced her. “Congratulations, Scarlet for … um … making a decision that you’re happy with, I guess. Come on, Annie. We need to get going.”

After graduation, Natty and I went to a celebratory brunch at Win’s parents’ place. I was still preoccupied from my argument with Scarlet, and I spent the whole meal brooding. Just before dessert, Win’s father tapped his knife against his glass and stood to make a speech. Charles Delacroix liked making speeches. I’d heard more than enough of them in my life so I didn’t feel the need to pay attention to this one. Finally, it seemed like we’d stayed long enough that it wouldn’t be rude to leave.

“Don’t leave yet,” Win said to me. “You’ll just go home and brood over Scarlet and Arsley.”

“I’m not brooding.”

“Come on,” he said. “Don’t you think I know you a little bit?” He smoothed out the furrow that must have formed between my eyebrows.

“That’s not the only thing I’m brooding about, you know,” I objected. “I’m very deep and my problems are vast.”

“I know. At least one of them isn’t that your boyfriend is moving away to go to college.”

I asked him what he meant.

“Didn’t you pay any attention to my dad’s speech? I’ve decided to stay in New York for college. It means going to Dad’s alma mater, which pleases him. I’d rather not do anything to please him, but…” Win shrugged.

I took a step back. “You can’t mean that you’re staying here on my account?”

“Of course that’s what I mean. A school is a school.”

I didn’t reply. Instead, I fidgeted with my necklace.

“You seem less pleased than I’d hoped.”

“But Win, I didn’t ask you to stay here. I just don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. These past two years have taught me that it’s best not to make too many plans beyond the present moment.”

“That’s crap, Anya. You don’t think that. You’re always thinking about your next move. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

Of course he was right. The real reason I didn’t want him to stay was too hard to say aloud. Win was a decent guy—maybe the most decent one I’d ever known—and I didn’t want him to stay in New York because he felt sorry for me or out of some misplaced sense of obligation. If he did that, he’d only end up regretting it later.

Since I’d learned about Simon Green, I’d done a bit of reflecting over my parents’ marriage. My mother and father had fought constantly the year before she died. One of the major points of contention between them was that she resented leaving her job at the NYPD and had wanted to go back to work—which obviously was impossible, considering what Daddy did for a living. My point was, I didn’t want Win to end up resenting me that way.

“Win,” I said, “it’s been a good couple of months for us, but I can’t know what’s going to happen to me next week let alone a year from now. And neither can you.”

“Guess I’ll have to take my chances.” Win studied my face. “You’re a funny sort of girl,” he said, and then he laughed. “I’m not asking you to marry me, Anya. I’m just trying to put myself in your neighborhood.”

At the mention of marriage, I winced.

“And I’d done so well distracting you from the news of Scarlet’s nuptials.”

I rolled my eyes. “What is
wrong
with her?”

He shrugged. “Nothing. Except that life is hard. And complex.”

I asked him if he was taking her side, and he said there were no sides. “The one thing I do know about Scarlet Barber is that she is your friend.”

Scarlet Barber may have been my friend but soon she would be Scarlet Arsley.

Win’s mother dragged him away to talk to some of the other guests at the brunch. He made me promise to stay a little longer. Natty seemed to be enjoying herself—she was talking to a cute cousin of Win’s—so I wandered up to the garden. The day was unseasonably hot so no one was out there. The last time I’d been in that garden was that long-ago spring day when I had ended things with Win.

I sat down on the bench. Mrs. Delacroix was using a trellis to grow peas, and the plants made little white flowers, which reminded me of the blooms on the cacao plants in Mexico. I was glad to be in New York—not to be in hiding—but I also missed Mexico. Maybe not the place itself, but my friends there and the feeling that I was part of something worthwhile. Theo and I had both been raised in chocolate yet his life had been totally different from mine. Because chocolate wasn’t illegal in Mexico, he had lived his whole life in the open whereas I had always been hiding and ashamed. I suppose that was why I had been so drawn to the idea of medicinal cacao.