Beauty From Love (11 page)

We arrive at Avalon with about thirty minutes to spare before the bottom drops out of the sky and a raging thunderstorm descends. Laurelyn’s standing at the wall of windows overlooking the vineyard, watching the sheets come down. “I love rain. It relaxes me.”

I approach from behind and wrap my arms around her waist. “I don’t dislike rain, only driving in it.”

“It’s perfect for napping.”

“Then you should go lie down for a while and I’ll get you up in a couple hours.”

“I am pretty tired.” She looks at me over her shoulder. “Both of us were up late, so I think you should join me.” I’m not sure but I think this is an invitation for something besides napping? “It’s Sunday—Mrs. Porcelli isn’t here.” Yes. This is an invitation for daytime sex and perhaps a nap afterward. Both work great for me.

I tug on her hands. “I’m in.”

I lower the roman shades, darkening the bedroom. “You’re right. Today is perfect for napping.”

She crawls onto the bed and then moves to her knees. She pulls her dress over her head and drops it before reaching around to unfasten her bra. “It is, but I think today is even more perfect for making a baby.”

She’s going full force at Project Conception and it’s a total turn-on. “You’re really in to this.” I kick off my shoes and unfasten my jeans. I pull my T-shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor.

She wiggles her bum as she pushes her knickers down her hips. “I don’t do anything halfway.”

I’m moving to the bed when she tosses the white lace at me, successfully landing it on my shoulder. I grasp the nearly nonexistent piece of fabric and bring it to my nose. Her scent is intoxicating and I’m positive it’s impossible to ever get enough of it. I’m completely possessed by her. “Do you realize you hold complete authority over me?”

“Funny, I’ve thought the same thing about you on many occasions.”

“I once chose to do things only if they pleased me. Now everything I do is for you because I want you to be happy.”

She crawls to the edge of the bed to meet me and puts her arms around my shoulders. She drags her mouth across my jawline toward my ear. “And I am. You can’t imagine how happy you make me.”

“Bet I can.”

She backs away and moves to sit on her bum before sliding to the middle of the bed. She spreads her hair as she lies down, a precaution she takes so it doesn’t get caught beneath her back. It’s crazy how great she looks—sexier than any woman I’ve ever seen photographed in a nudie mag—and she’s for my eyes only. I covet that.

She’s lying on her back with her feet apart and knees closed. She looks so timid and innocent, but I know better, so I kneel and place a hand on each leg and push them apart. She lifts her arms over her head and arches her back as she grasps the edge of the mattress. She knows something good is about to happen and I wouldn’t dare disappoint.

Touch. It’s so simplistic in certain aspects, and so very complex in others.

I place my thumb against Laurelyn’s clit, applying the slightest pressure, but I don’t move it. The brain is the largest sex organ for a woman, so I want her to anticipate what’s coming … to crave it. I want to hear her ask me to give it to her. I won’t deny that I enjoy holding this kind of power over her, the same as she enjoys the control she has over me.

She begins rotating her hips but my hand remains stationary, frustrating her to no end. I give her a few rotations of my thumb and she moans once before I stop. “Come on, McLachlan. Don’t do this to me.”

“Don’t do what?”

She lifts her foot to my shoulder and pokes me with her toes. “You know what. You’re teasing me.”

“I need specifics.”

She rolls her eyes. “You want me to talk dirty.”

“Yeah. I want to hear you say filthy things like a bad girl.” She rocks against my hand and I move it away. “Uh-uh … you don’t get what you want until you ask for it.”

I wait in anticipation of the nasty things she might say. What will it be? Finger-fuck her? Suck her clit? Put my tongue inside her? I’m hard with anticipation but she shocks me with her words, as she often does. “I want you to put a baby inside me.” Her voice is soft and so sweet. It crumbles any of the bad-boy exterior I pretend to have.

I was set to have fun, to play dirty. I wanted to make her beg for an orgasm but hearing her ask me for a child changes everything. It brings out my tender side, a part of me I didn’t know existed until she came into my life, and it’s something she sees far too little.

I place my hands on her hips and rub my thumbs over her hipbones. “I can’t wait to watch you grow with our child.” I lower my mouth to her stomach and place a kiss below her navel. “I’m going to kiss your swelling belly every day.”

Her hand is at the back of my head, her fingers stroking my hair. “You’ll make a wonderful father.”

I move up so I’m hovering above her, careful to not press too much of my weight against her. “You told me you were afraid you’d be a shitty mother, like Jolie.”

“We aren’t supposed to address anything said during confessional. We agreed, McLachlan. That’s the reason we can feel safe to say the things we wouldn’t normally confess to one another.”

“I know, and I’ll only make an exception this one time because I want you to go into this knowing you are nothing like Jolie. You are the most self-sacrificing person I know and your love stretches beyond measure. It isn’t possible for you to be anything but a wonderful mother.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” She bends her knees and I pull back so I can move into position. She pulls me down so she can kiss my mouth and I whisper against her lips, “And this baby will be loved.” Her hands find mine so she can intertwine our fingers. She squeezes them into a tight fist and watches my eyes as I enter her. “He or she already is.”

She doesn’t take her eyes from mine as I move in and out of her. It feels so intimate, like she’s seeing straight into the depths of my soul, and it leaves me feeling spread wide, exposed. I’ve never felt a moment like this with anyone, and I love it. I want her to see all of me.

I’m sliding in and out of L slowly when I feel her legs come up and around my body. She’s coaxing me deeper so I thrust harder, bringing me closer to climax. I push her legs back and apart as I thrust the last time, filling her body with a part of myself.

When I’m finished, I pull out slowly and reach for a pillow at the head of the bed. I motion for her to lift her bum. “Upsy, love.” She lifts and I slide the pillow under her hips, repeating the same routine as the night before with her legs in the air resting on my shoulders.

“I don’t think my legs have to be up. I’m sure there’s been plenty of babies conceived without being in this position.”

She tries to take her ankles from my shoulders but I hold them firmly in place. “But the view is so very lovely, Mrs. McLachlan. It would be a favor to me personally if you stayed this way for a while.”

She grins while shaking her head. “You’re going to do it again, aren’t you?”

“Do what?”

“Taunt me until you can have your way with me … again.”

“The first time, we make love because it’s about the baby. The second time, we fuck because it’s about us.” She pretends to gasp in outrage, but I know she’s used to the things I say so I rarely shock her anymore. “You didn’t come just now so tell me, Mrs. McLachlan, what it is you want.”

“I want you to rub me with those talented fingers of yours.” She takes my hand and places my finger over her clit. “Right here.”

I begin moving in a circular motion. “Like this?”

She closes her eyes and her words come out as a breathy whisper. “Yes.”

“You’re one orgasm behind me. I don’t think it would hurt a thing to play catch-up while we’re waiting. Do you agree?”

She’s rocking her pelvis against my fingers and can’t sit still. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“Then I have a task before me. A very beautiful one.” I use my thumb to stroke her center up and down several times before concentrating on the tight nub at the top. It’s her most sensitive spot and I alternate between fast and slow, hard and soft. She’s building. I can tell by her body’s reactions but I want to finish her off with a bang, so I lower my mouth and suck her clit. I’m inconsistent with the pressure and speed so she’s unable to predict what will come next.

A moment later, she fists my hair and moans, “Ohh … ohh … ohh.” She unclenches her hand and her entire body goes limp. That’s when I know she’s in that place, the one where she’s blissful and euphoric. There’s no other feeling in the world like it.

I can’t believe it. Jack Henry and I are trying to get pregnant. Addison is going to shit when I tell her.

Daniel drops Addison and me at the Castlebury Hotel where we’ll be dining at the restaurant Jack Henry recommended. She was running late, as usual, so we’re doing brunch instead of breakfast.

An attractive hostess escorts us to our table and calls me by name—Mrs. McLachlan—when we’re seated. How does she know?

I lift the menu but I’m not reading it. “That was weird, right?”

I can see that she doesn’t know what I’m referring to. “What was?”

“The hostess called me Mrs. McLachlan but I don’t know how she knew. I didn’t make reservations, so there’s no reason for her to know my name.” My mind immediately goes to that place: is this woman one of the twelve and she knows who we are?

“You’re married to Jack McLachlan. People know him and they make it their business to know who his wife is.” Addison lifts her menu. “She’s probably green with envy that she’ll never get to fuck him.”

I hope that’s the case, but if she’s one of the companions who came before me, then she already has. Many times.

The hostess is older than me but still young—not at all the type Jack Henry would’ve chosen.

I need to stop this. He’s my husband so nothing before me matters. He told me so last night.

Another woman walks up to our table. “Mrs. McLachlan. Welcome to Fusion Restaurant. Julie is your server and she’ll be with you shortly. May I get you something to drink while you look at the menu?”

I think I need alcohol. “I’ll have a mimosa.”

I expect the same from Addison but she surprises me. “Orange juice, please.”

I feel a little weird drinking alone. “Why aren’t you getting a mimosa? I know how much you love them.”

Addison touches her hand to her forehead. “I have a headache. I don’t figure it’s a good idea to put champagne on top of that.”

I pick up my purse and begin digging because I know she hasn’t taken anything for it. That’s how she is. “I’m sure I have something in my purse that you can take.”

“I’m good, Laurie. You don’t always have to take care of me like I’m a child.”

She’s never minded it before. “You’re being pissy this morning.”

“I’m sorry. I was restless last night. You know I’m a bitch when I haven’t had my sleep.”

She’s worse than a child without a nap when she’s tired. “It’s supposed to storm again later. It’ll be a perfect day for napping.”

We place our order and the food arrives. I still haven’t brought up Ben and Chloe but I can procrastinate no longer. “Last night was Jack Henry’s birthday party with the family and I gotta tell ya, Addie … we were pretty shocked to see Ben there with Chloe.”

“Oh hell.” Her eyes grow large.

“Why didn’t you tell me they were dating?”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have—and I meant to—but I’ve had some pretty serious shit going on lately.”

Addie always has
serious shit
going on. “So bad you forget to tell me my sister-in-law is dating your brother, whom my husband despises? Doesn’t make sense that you would forget something like that.”

Addison’s eyes fill with tears. She squeezes them tightly and big messy drops roll down each cheek. “Laurie. I’ve messed up big time. I mean, I’ve really fucked up.” She carefully wipes the tears from her eyes using the corner of her napkin in an attempt to prevent smearing her perfect makeup.

I’m not oblivious to Addison’s tendency to be dramatic, but dread grows deep within my gut. “I’m sure it isn’t as bad as you think.”

Her eyes appear larger than usual as she looks up to. More tears roll down her cheeks as she nods. “Yes, it is, and I don’t think I can do the only thing that would fix all of it.” She’s sobbing and it scares the shit out of me because this isn’t my Addie.

I love my best friend but she’s selfish as hell, so there’s only one thing that would make her react this way. Something must have occurred between her and the man she adores with all her heart. “Has something happened between you and Zac?”

She makes the ugly cry face and then uses her hands to conceal it. “Oh, something has definitely happened between us. I’ve joined that statistic they warn you about—the less than one percent of people whose birth control fails even when they take it correctly.” Her body shakes because she’s crying so hard. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah,” she laughs, but not the humorous kind. “Me having a baby is definitely an ‘oh, shit’ moment.”

I know they aren’t married, so the timing isn’t ideal, but I don’t understand why her reaction is so extreme. She loves Zac. He loves her and they’re great together. I have no doubt they’d marry and be together forever anyway. “It’s a shock. I’ll give you that, but I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“Are you kidding me, Laurie? I’m not mother material. I’m too into me and what I want.” She’s shaking her head and looking at me like she thinks I may have lost my mind. “My mouth is too damn filthy. The kid’s first word would be fuck. No doubt.”

“I think you’ll make a wonderful mother and I’m sure Zac agrees. What did he say when you told him?”

Addison looks away. “I haven’t told him.”

“Why not?”

She looks so sad. “Do you really think he wants to hear that I’m knocked up?”

I can only stare at her as I think of how happy Jack Henry would be if it were me telling him we were having a baby. I can almost see the broad smile on his face, his bright blue eyes dancing with happiness. I imagine him scooping me from the floor and spinning me round and round as he tells me how much he loves me and how happy he is.

But this isn’t happening to me, so I shove the daydream from my mind and return to reality. Addison’s reality. “I’m sure a baby will come as a shock for Zac but he loves you. I don’t think it’ll be an unwelcome surprise.”

She sighs while shaking her head. “You’re wrong.”

How can she know? “Has he told you he doesn’t want kids?”

“He wants children.” She covers her face with her hands. “But I don’t think he wants them with me.”

Addison is clearly shaken and lacks her usual confidence. “Why would you say that?”

“We’ve been together a year and he hasn’t proposed. Shit, he never even talks about marrying me. The only future we ever discuss is one with him owning his own vineyard. I’m never part of the equation.”

Wow. I had no idea. But that doesn’t mean he has no plans to marry Addison. I’ve seen the way he looks at her and I know he’s head over heels in love with her. “He’s ambitious. I’m sure he’s waiting because he’d like to have a way of supporting you and your habits before he makes you his wife. Zac’s no fool. He’s figured out that you’re high maintenance.”

She grins but it’s halfhearted. “Then we could be years away from him being able to afford me. Or maybe he’s years away from being ready to be a husband and father.”

“Zac might have a choice on the husband part, but he doesn’t on the parent thing. Kids don’t wait around for their parents to be ready. They come when they decide they want to.” Look at me. It took over twenty years for my parents to finally act like a mother and father. Sort of.

“Maybe he thinks I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough to be his wife or the mother of his kids.”

“There’s no way he thinks that. I’d bet money he asks you to marry him as soon as he knows there’s a little Zac inside you.”

“But don’t you see? That’s exactly what I don’t want. He needs to marry me because he loves me more than anything in this world. Even more than his dream of owning a successful vineyard. I want him to love me the way Jack loves you. I won’t settle for less.”

That’s probably one of the most mature things I’ve ever heard come out of Addie’s mouth. “And you shouldn’t have to.”

“Oh my God, Laurie. I’m going to have a sweet little adorable chubby-cheeked … shit machine.” She leans over and rests her forehead against her palms. “I’m going to get fat and have stretch marks. And hemorrhoids. You know that has to be a total turn-off. Oh God. My sex life is over.”

And here we go with the exaggerating. “I’m sure there are measures you can take to prevent those things, or at least reduce them. You should do some research so you’ll know what to expect.”

Her head spins so she can see me. “Let me guess. You’re suggesting I read that book about pregnancy expectations.”

Addison makes no bones about it. She is no intellect and doesn’t claim to be. The world is lucky if she reads stop signs. “It might be a good place to start … after you tell Zac.”

She shakes her head, her face stern. “No way. I’m not ready to do that.”

She’s being unreasonable. How long does she plan to hide this? This secret has an expiration and it will reveal itself with or without her permission. “You can’t keep this from him for long. He’s going to figure it out and I can’t imagine that going over well.”

“I know. It won’t take long before he figures out I’m missing my period. God, he’s such a control freak. He keeps up with my cycles better than I do, but I need a little time to sort out how he might take the news.”

A control freak is exactly what Addie needs—someone to steer her in the right direction. I know her and I understand what she’s saying without hearing the words directly. I’m afraid it won’t go over well if she baits Zac to get his reaction. She’s not considering the whole picture. It’s easy to say what one would do when they’re not actually in the situation. No one truly knows how they’ll feel about a circumstance until it happens to them. “Please don’t try to make Zac speculate about a proposed pregnancy. Your baby isn’t hypothetical. It’s real and he deserves to know as soon as possible.”

“And I’ll tell him but I need to know how he feels about me—minus a baby—first. If he asks me to marry him, I want to know it’s because he loves me, Laurie. Not on account of an obligation or because he wants to hang on to me because he’s afraid his child will slip away.”

Okay. I understand her desire to want to know his true feelings for her before he finds out about the baby. I would feel the same if standing in her shoes. “Be smart about the way you do this. The last thing you need is for him to feel deceived.”

A shocked expression comes over her. “What if I’ve been looking at this the wrong way? I’ve imagined him asking me to marry him because he wants to
do the right thing
but what if I’m wrong and he tells me he never wants to see me again? Or wants me to get an abortion? He has so many dreams for the future and I’m afraid he’ll think a baby will ruin it all.”

I hadn’t considered that possibility and I’m not sure why. Isn’t that sort of what my dad did to my mom? “If he does, then screw him. He can piss off because you have me. I’ll always be on your side and will help you raise this baby.”

Addison reaches across the table to cup her hand around mine. “You’re always the stable one and I’m the loose cannon. It should be you having a baby. Not me.”

This is probably the one time Jack Henry would completely agree with Addison. “It will be one day.” Hopefully one day very soon.

Jack Henry’s sitting at his desk looking at a vineyard map. “Hey, babe.” He puts his arms out for me so I go to him. He pulls me onto his lap and nuzzles his nose against my neck. “How did brunch go with Addison?”

He’s really asking if I got an explanation out of her regarding why she didn’t tell me about Chloe and Ben. “She said it slipped her mind.”

He pulls back and looks at me. “And you believe her?”

I put my hand up, indicating that I need to explain. “Not at first, but then she told me about everything going on in her life and I knew it was the truth. She’s been preoccupied.”

He leans back in his chair, taking me with him. “What has little Miss Self-Absorbed gotten herself into this time?”

“She’s pregnant.”

He lifts his brows. “Is it Zac’s?”

I slap my hand against his chest because I can’t believe he’s asked. “Of course it is. She’s not a whore.”

“Did she do it on purpose so he’d marry her?”

Wow. His opinion of Addison is even worse than I thought. “No. She hasn’t even told him yet because she’s terrified he’ll tell her to get lost.”

“Zac’s not in the best place to take on a baby right now, but he’d be a motherfucker to turn her away. You think he’d do that?”