“Big John?” Jena’s forehead wrinkled.
“Yeah, lives next door. He’s a great guy. Andy and his dog are good friends.”
“So, can I?”
“Let us finish up here and we’ll all go out. Okay with you, Jen?”
“Sounds good.” She still seemed a little out of breath.
He smiled inwardly as she quickly turned to face the kitchen sink.
“Hurry up,” Andrea whined. “He might go inside.”
Chase waited until she left the room before asking, “Stay with me tonight?”
Jena turned around slowly to face him, her eyes wide, her face flushed. His gut clenched as he waited for her answer.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The blood left her face and she could only stare. What should she say?
Yes, I’d like to feel your hands all over me.
No, she couldn’t. Andrea was here. She almost forgot her niece.
Good God!
“Chase, I…can’t,” she stammered.
“Why?”
“Andrea…it wouldn’t be right.”
“I won’t pretend I don’t want to make love to you.”
Jena swallowed nervously as she considered the idea. Heat filled her face, not with embarrassment, but with desire. She took in a ragged breath.
“It’ll be getting dark soon. I need you both under my roof, safe. There’s nothing more I’d like than to have you in my bed, don’t misunderstand me. When that time comes, there will be no distractions. For now, you can use one of the other bedrooms. Andrea has her own.”
Jena was speechless…and frustrated. Her feet were firmly planted to the floor, but she wanted to leap into his arms and forget she did everything by the book. She was not accustomed to this kind of need and she was frightened.
“We have no clothes,” she stated practically.
“Andrea has a closet full. I’ll give you one of my t-shirts.”
“I don’t know,” she hesitated. Logical Jena was beginning to emerge.
“I’ll be a Boy Scout, I promise.”
The slow smile that crossed his lips did nothing for her doubts. Did he know she didn’t trust herself? She didn’t know if she could be a Girl Scout.
“Okay,” she heard herself say, “but Andrea and I go home tomorrow, understand?” The firmness in her tone was for her benefit as much as his.
“As long as you understand I’ll be back in your guest room.”
She nodded in agreement not trusting her voice.
“You ready to meet Big John?”
“I’ll be out as soon as I call Mrs. R.” She paused as she put the last plate in the dishwasher. When he didn’t respond she added, “In case she comes back and we’re not there.” Could she possibly feel any more ridiculous?
Chase walked toward her and she trembled with anticipation. He ran the back of his hand slowly along her jaw. She closed her eyes, leaning into his hand as she let out an uneven breath. Her desire couldn’t be denied. At this moment, she didn’t care if they were right for each other. She didn’t care if he would hurt her. The only thing that mattered was getting lost in those eyes that were gazing at her so intently.
“Don’t be long,” he ordered.
“I won’t,” she said quietly as he walked out of the kitchen.
“You are a grown-up,” she muttered to herself as she reached for her purse. Taking a deep breath, she dialed Mrs. R. The call went right to voicemail and Jena left a message. Had her sister taken a turn for the worse?
Jena absently placed the phone on the counter as she moved toward the door. She scanned the scene below. Chase was seated on a lounge chair, leaning forward with his legs on either side, sipping a beer. The man beside him, Big John for obvious reasons, was telling quite a story by the look of his hand gestures. Andrea, a few feet away, played fetch with her four-legged friend. Jena smiled at the scene.
She gathered the courage to turn the knob, but took her time down the steps to the ground level. The patio area was massive. Whenever she was confronted with something new in Chase’s life doubt filled her mind. This was no ordinary house. Beautiful homes were not foreign to Jena. She worked amongst wealthy people, but she never saw anything that compared to this. She couldn’t imagine the amount of success that paid for all of this. What was she getting herself into?
She held her head up, shoulders back and approached them with false confidence. Chase grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit in front of him. He smelled of beer and salty air. It was incredibly masculine and sexy. The blood raced through her veins and she shivered under his touch. Why did her body keep betraying her?
“So, who’s this young lady?” Big John asked.
“Oh, the love of my life.”
Chase’s free arm wrapped around her waist and held her close to him. Turning slightly, Jena ignored the sensation and held out her hand. “I’m Jena Shea.”
“Nice to meet you, Jena Shea. Folks around here call me Big John. I’ll bet you can’t figure out why.”
His chuckle was infectious and the distraction that Jena needed. “I’m pleased to meet you. My niece thinks the world of you and your friend.” She looked toward Andrea running through the sand with the dog. She loved seeing her niece so happy.
“Bo loves when that girl comes to play.” Big John turned his attention to Chase. “I have to ask, boy, when are you going to ask this girl to marry you?”
“I’m working on that.”
“Ahhh, I get it,” he joked, “this one has standards.”
Jena laughed and leaned her head back to rest against Chase’s chest. There was no embarrassment, no overwhelming need to run, no need to set Big John straight. There was only contentment. Realizing her muscles weren’t tense, but relaxed further amazed her.
A short while later, Andrea approached her with droopy eyes and a yawn. “I’m sleepy. Can we go home?”
It was time for the awkward moment. “We’re staying here tonight. If you show me to your room, I’ll tuck you in.” Jena made her best attempt to rush through an uncomfortable conversation in front of the neighbor.
“You can sleep in my room,” Andrea offered, rubbing her eyes.
Jena’s heart skipped a beat as she heard Big John’s chuckles in the background.
“Aunt Jen will be in the bedroom right next to yours,” Chase commented. His eyes watched her as she stood. “Andy can show you where her things are. I’ll be up in a couple minutes.”
Thank God it was dark. She was sure her face was ten shades of red.
“There’s no hurry,” she said hastily. “It was nice meeting you, John.”
“Welcome to the neighborhood, Jena.”
Did Big John just wink at her?
Great. He thinks we’re sleeping together.
Jena groaned inwardly and headed silently to the house with Andrea’s hand in hers.
****
“Are you going to let this one get away?” Big John challenged.
“No, John, I’m not.” Chase sipped his beer.
“You care to elaborate?”
“It’s a long story.”
“The good ones usually are. Let me buy you a beer.” Big John leaned over to his cooler and pulled out a cold one and handed it to Chase. “Okay, you can begin your tale.”
Chase grinned. “What makes you think I’m going to tell you?”
“Because when you’re in love you wanna tell the whole world about it. For now, you got my ear.”
Chase took a swig and caved. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right. Get to it. It’s almost my bedtime.”
John was one of the most trustworthy guys Chase had ever met. He had no problem confiding in him, but decided on the condensed version.
Big John scratched his head. “Explain to me why you’re waiting to put a ring on her finger?”
Chase took the last drink and sat the bottle at his feet. “She’s not sure about my way of life.”
“I’m not sure about your way of life.”
“Well, that’s not a problem since I don’t want to marry you.”
“Ahhh, quit dragging your feet already.” Big John threw his empty beer bottle in the cooler. “Well, gotta be getting home. New season of
Dancing with the Stars.
” Big John maneuvered himself to an upright position, grabbed his cooler, and whistled for his dog. “Chase, buy a damn ring and ask her yesterday. You young people think too much. Come on, Bo.”
Chase shook his head as he replayed Big John’s words. His friend certainly simplified things. Maybe he should take his advice. He exhaled a nervous breath. No time like the present.
****
Chase was waiting at the bottom of the stairs with a silly grin.
“What are you up to?” she asked, unable to contain her own smile.
“Why must I be up to something?”
“I don’t know. You look…guilty.”
“Tomorrow’s the concert,” he announced.
“I know.” She eyed him suspiciously. “You’re acting odd. Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong.”
“Are we going to stand here?” She lifted her brows and crossed her arms. “Or are you going to let me finish cleaning the kitchen?”
“I’ll clean the kitchen tomorrow. I’ve waited long enough. There’s something I need to take care of before the concert.”
He was distracted and talking in circles. She frowned. “Maybe you should tell me what’s on your mind.”
“Come with me. I’ll show you.”
“Chase, I don’t think…”
“Geez, Jen, lighten up. The bedroom’s upstairs. Come on.” He took her hand and led her through the house. “Okay, stop here. Close your eyes.”
“I’m not the surprise kind of person.”
“So you’ve said. Humor me. No peeking.”
She sighed and closed her eyes. She could hear the door opening as he led her out. “Can I open my eyes? I really don’t want to fall down the steps.”
He placed his hands on her hips and positioned her. “Okay. Open them.”
She gasped and looked at him with wide eyes. “What’s this?”
“I wanted to do something special,” he replied as he led her down the steps.
From the roof of the gazebo hung icicle lights she commonly saw in Ohio at Christmas. In this setting, she had no thoughts of the holiday. Candlelight surrounded the glass table casting a glow across two flutes that sparkled like diamonds. The glasses sat on either side of champagne on ice. He filled her glass without uttering a word and handed it to her. He seemed nervous.
“Don’t drink. I want to make a toast.” He filled his glass.
“Can I sit?” She was amused by Chase’s case of the nerves. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him like this. What in the world was on his mind?
Chapter Twenty-Six
He held his glass casually, but he was acting strangely.
“I have something I’d like to say. I’m a little nervous, so hear me out.” He sat the glass aside.
Jena grinned. “You’re nervous? I don’t believe I’ve ever saw you squirm.” She couldn’t help feeling a little smug at the idea.
“I’m being serious,” he complained.
“Okay. I’m sorry.” She put on a serious face.
“John and I had a good talk tonight. He made me see life a little differently. I’ve been putting some things off for the right moment. There are no guarantees or perfect moments. All we have is now. I’m not going to waste it.”
Pulling her eyebrows together, she asked, “Chase, what are you talking about?” Her focus went to his hand as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. He wouldn’t.
Please, God, let me be imagining this.
He kneeled before her as his eyes captured her tear-filled ones. The sound of the box opening filled her ears. Dare she look?
“I’ve made no secret of wanting to marry you.”
She took in a sharp breath, a weak attempt to keep the tears at bay.
No, please. You’ll ruin everything.
“I’ve been waiting for the right time. What John made me realize tonight is this moment is the right time. You are the reason I breathe. Those years without you…” he paused and shook his head at the memory. “Nothing mattered. I existed. I have another chance and I don’t want to waste a second of it. I want to start our life together. Jena Shea, will you marry me?”
The air left Jena’s lungs. She lifted her shaking hand to her mouth. She was in danger of dropping her glass and mindlessly set it next to his. She gazed at the ring he held in disbelief and slowly met his eyes once more. The tears were falling freely now. She wanted to run.
“I know you weren’t expecting this.” He smiled softly.
Why would you do this? I’m not ready! Please, stop!
Jena knew she couldn’t say the words he wanted to hear. How could she explain the fear?
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I’m scared,” she replied honestly. She didn’t recognize her own voice.
“Of what I do for a living?”
She nodded and swallowed nervously. “Among other things.”
“I’ll give it up then. I won’t spend my life without you.”
“No!” she gasped, shocked he would suggest such a thing. “You can’t. It’s who you are. Besides, that won’t fix everything.”
“Your love is the biggest part of me. Give me a chance to fix everything.”
“It’s not right, Chase. It won’t work. I’ll be forcing emotions I’m not ready for.” She choked back a sob.
“You’re not going to tell me you don’t love me.”
“I’m going to tell you I don’t know what I feel. I think I’m in love with you, but what do I know about love? I’ve only one relationship in my past and we both know how that went.” She knew by the look on his face she’d hurt him. Why did he have to corner her? Jena was sure this was the end. “I can’t, not now. I have too much to work through…too much baggage to make a commitment like that. I can’t promise you anything. I’m sorry.”
He took the ring box and snapped it shut, placing it in his pocket. Jena flinched as the sound bounced around in her brain. She paused for a moment, attempting to collect her thoughts. She was ever so close to sobbing. “Chase, I…”
“Don’t, Jen.”
“Please understand.” She was desperate to find the right words. “I’m not ready for this. It’s not you. The issues are mine.” The look she saw pass his face resembled a punch to the gut. She didn’t want to be responsible for his pain, but she couldn’t say yes. “We agreed to give our relationship a month. I have to give myself time… and time is the only thing I can give you.”
“You love me. I see it in your eyes. Take a chance, Jen.”
She shook her head wiping the tears away with her palms. “If we rush this we’re certain to fail. We have Andrea to consider. Failure isn’t an option. And there’s the band.” She rushed through the words before the protest past his lips. “It’s a part of you and I need time to adjust to that. I don’t want you quitting. If I can’t be a part of your entire life then it’s best I’m not part of any of it.”