Beautiful Freaks (9 page)

The whole of the palace glittered and glimmered like the inside of a Christmas bauble. Tables groaned under the weight of large meat roasts and dainty candies. A full orchestra played dancing tunes
, and everywhere I looked garlands of
silk flowers
had been hung
.
Mama said the effort and expense she’d gone to was an
attempt to make the peace between us
. She told me how she had known how much I loved flowers.

She had
also had a
specially
commissioned
gown of scarlet red silk
made; the
bustier was sewn with over a
hundred
real
garnets
. It was so heavy that it proved almost impossible to walk
in
, and yet the movement of dancing seemed
to bring the gown alive with it
s own energy and I found myself spending the night halfway between total inertia and being swept along on a wave of fabric.

As a combined birthday and engagement present
,
Vincent produced a large
ruby
ring surrounded
by diamonds
. When he placed
it
on my finger
,
half of it disappeared under the cover of jewels. He must have consulted my mother over it because it matched the dress perfectly.
It reminded me of spilt blood on skin.

Our engagement was to be officially announced at one minute past midnight.
Symbolic of my coming of age.
It was a silly ritual
,
being that no one could miss the large engagement finger
on
my left hand.

The
clock
sped towards the midnight hour
,
and whether it was the heat from the hundred candles, the tightness of my corset
,
or the fear of my impending groom, something moved me to make a run for it
. B
efore I fully knew what I was doing, I found myself fleeing across the lawns towards the edge of the forest. Running through the woods in my
s
carlet dress gave me the surreal feeling I had once again
caught between the pages of a tale. Only this time Little Red Riding Hood was in serious danger of being eaten by the wolf, b
ecause waiting for
me in the shadows was Vincent. He stood there as casually as if we had arranged to meet.

“
Evening, Sylvani
a,
”
he said between drags on his cigarette.

I gasped; my breath
was
ragged with running and fear. “Vincent,” I
replied
forcing a smile on my face. “Isn’t it just glorious tonight
?
The stars,
the ….”

He looked at me and smiled. “Yes, just the kind of night to take a stroll
and g
et away from it all – away from the crowd
s
.”

He took a step towards me and I stepped back from him as if we had b
egun some kind of secret dance,
which of course, we had.

“It was just so hot in there, I needed some air.”

“Yes, me too,” he said.

“Well time to get back. The guests will start to miss us.”
I said it as casually as I could, but I knew that in reality it was more of a prayer than anything else.

He looked towards the palace in the distance. The lights glowing like warm
,
yellow eyes in the darkness.

“It’s not that far. We’ve got plenty of time.”

I
also looked back
towards the palace, saw that it
was in fact not very far at all, just a sprint away, but the weight of the dress felt like an anchor, pinning me to the spot and I knew that it would be useless to try and run.

Vincent stepped forward, giving me no option than to
press up
against
the
tree.

“Are you still finding it difficult to breathe,
my
darling?”

I shook my head as he reached out a hand and pulled at the ribbon lacing of my bustier. The silk slipped out of its bow wi
th an impossibly loud slither.
As he pulled the
blood-
red
lacing towards him, he twirled it around his finger,
drawing
me
closer. He raised his unbound hand to loosen the
fabric and slip it under my top. The image of a boa constrictor slid through my mind. He leant forward to kiss me and
I turned my head away, desperate for our lips not to connect. He let out a soft giggle before nuzzling his lips and nose into the valley of my neck. His lips planted small kisses along the edge of the bones.

A co
ld nausea stirred in my stomach.
I wanted to scream but I knew if I did, I would be silenced.

In his arrogance he mistook my shudder for one of pleasure and whispered in my ear, “You like that don’t you, sweetheart? Let me kiss you. Let me feel what the inside of your mouth feels like.”

A sob welled up from inside my chest and
,
realising that I was not as willing as he had hoped, he let g
o of the lace and used his free
hand to grab my chin, pulling it towards him. “I said, let me in.”

When I refused to part my lips, he pulled away and brought the back of his hand down in a stinging slap across my cheek. The sight of my tears seemed to impassion him more and he threw his weight against me, pushing his lips onto mine and covering my nose so that I had no option but to open my mouth to breathe.

He startled as the clock bell struck midnight. It was enough for him to take a step back and unpin me from the tree. He laughed at his foolishness. It was a laugh stained with cruelty and one that meant business would continue. But as he laughed,
something was happening to me. It was a
pushing sensation against the back of my dress and the sound of silk splitting.

Suddenly
Vincent
stopped laughing and his jaw fell in disbelief. He took a step back from me and I could tell that he was suddenly afraid, very afraid. As I advanced towards him, he stepped further and further back until eventually our positions were reversed and he was now captive held against the tree.

“Oh, my God!” he exclaimed. “You’ve got … you’ve got … wings. You’re a …” he swallowed hard as if the word had got stuck in his throat, “… a fae.”

Fear welled in his eyes like tears. The cracking, splintering sound of wood came from under him. I cocked my head in curiosity, watched as his hand slipped into the solid trunk of the tree as if it were as welcoming as cream. Noticing the point of my attention he tried to move his hand
,
and when he couldn’t he looked down to find himself fastened tight
;
his
hand had been swallowed by the tree right up to his wrist. He turned, twisted, tried to free his hand from the wood
,
but it wouldn’t budge. As he concentrated on freeing his hand, he failed to notice that his shoulder and arm had suffered a similar fate.

He started to sob and then scream. I watched in wonderment as second by second he slid into the tree. Eventually, all that was left was the tip of his shiny black shoe.
Moments later
,
that too was
gone.

*

I moved deeper into the woods, leaving behind the palace, my mother
,
and my fia
ncée. My wings fluttered like soft,
soughing gauze behind me, and even though I was yet to see them, I knew they were fear inspiring and beautiful.
All at once I understood my mother’s hatred of me. She had known all along that I was not her child but a changeling: the very embodiment of nature and her power. The very thing my mother despised most in the world. So many questions were answered with the eruption of my wings. I suddenly understood why the natural world so strongly called to me, why I was at my happiest when dancing amongst the meadow flowers and the trees.

It took
a couple of days
to flee through the vast expanse of wild forest and come to a place I felt vaguely safe.
I came
out of the woods on
to the edge of a
n unknown
village and exchanged several of the
garnets
from
the
gown for a dress
that
I took off a washing line
of a
humble cottage.

In the woods, I shed the dress of my old life and replaced it with the neat little
cotton smock of a country girl, pushing my wings neatly into the well of my back.
I sat and unpicked the
precious stones
from the bustier
of the hideous gown and unthreaded the pearls from my hair, stashing
them alongside the
engagement ring, which I stuffed
deep
into the
pocket of my smock.

My red silk shoes were still a little conspicuous
,
but I waited to exchange them at a different village, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.

Travelling alone, across country as a young woman is a perilous task and I am afraid that several times over the period of the year I
wandered
, men ended up on the inside of the nearest tree as they chanced their luck with what they thought was
an un-chape
roned young woman. They’d
had no idea that I wasn’t
alone; that my ‘real’ mother was always by my side, in every leaf and flower, in every blade of grass. 

At last I made it to the shore where I boarded a ship. I didn’t mind where it took me; all I wanted was a fresh start
.
To go somewhere and leave my past behind.
Fate brought me here, to London.

*

The city is not a natural place for a woodland fae
,
but it is only a stopping point on my journey. Being a changeling child, I am used to human ways and such ways cost money. I will spend a year here
and m
ake my fortune
.

I am safe here. Eve will look after me. She is a
mother to us all.
It is no coincidence that she was strolling through the woodland gardens of Hampstead Heath that day.  I believe she had been looking for me. She moves quietly for a human. It is a wonder
that
the rustle of her black silks do not betray her. I was stretching my wings, letting them drink in the late summer sunshine. It is always a risky moment because with my wings unfurled
,
I leave the real world behind and enter a world of rainbow
-
light and music of the seven strings.

It was her voice that broke my spell in the fairy
realm, “You are truly beautiful,
”
she said.

I
spun
around on the spot, snapped my wings in
to the
tight space between my shoulder blades
,
but it was too late. I looked at her, trying to
understand
whether she meant me harm or not. She pulled out her notebook, settled a monocle into her left eye and checked the time on her pocket watch before scribbling a note and closing it shut. This matter of business done, she broke into a relaxed and confident smile.

“Sorry, how rude. My name’s Ev
e
and you are…?”

“Sylvania,” I said
,
taken aback by how the conversation was developing.

Ev
e
stepped forward, extending her hand. I noticed how she didn’t wear a wedding ring
,
but that on her right
finger
she wore a large amethyst stone which seemed to swirl with mist.

“Sylvania! What an exquisite name. I believe it means
of the woods
,
if I am not mistaken.
”

“Yes.” My name had been telling me my own history
all along
.

“Hmm…” Ev
e
tapped her lip with her finger as if she
were
puzzling. “I don’t get it, why are you here? In London
,
I mean.
It’s hardly the most obvious choice for one of your kind
?”

“Money. Knowledge.”

“Ah! Well both of those I can
bestow upon you
.”

Eve
had a smile that was more
of
a pout. It made her immediately attractive and I felt myself gravitate towards her. It was a strong feeling, almost as if she were
a magnet. T
he sensation was like one of sliding towards her
,
and it felt delicious.