Bearly In Time (5 page)

Connor stared at the flowing river in despair. The current was flowing faster than normal, as if it was trying to escape from a bitter pain. A gray dove in the tree sung him a song of sorrow. His shoulders slumped down and he closed his eyes.

His mate was getting married in four days. This waiting was killing him. He just wanted her to get it over with so he could start the long, painful road to acceptance. All he wanted was the pain to subside. It would never end but maybe it would ease off a bit.

Roxy sat down beside him and rubbed his back. The tension in his muscles breathed a bit under her comforting touch. He had called her.

It was always Roxy that needed Connor’s help but for the first time in their relationship, he needed her.

“You okay bro?” she asked.

He opened his eyes and took a deep breath, staring at the river.

“I know. Stupid question.”

“Maybe I should head out west for a few weeks,” he said. “Go visit Beckett and Ellis.” His cousins and their crew, the Hudson Crew, always cheered him up.

“That’s an idea,” she said.

Just the thought of traveling farther away from Rebecca made his inner bear grumble and growl.

He dropped his head. “I just don’t understand why.”

“Did you talk to her?” she asked, rubbing his back.

“I tried,” he said, feeling defeated. “She blocked my phone number. I even drove into the city to see her. She was with him. I didn’t want to make a scene.”

“Girls can be weird sometimes,” she said.

“You think?” he said sarcastically.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” she said, staring at the forest on the other side of the river.

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “She made her decision. I have to respect it.”

Roxy rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry bro. This sucks.”

Connor gazed at the river with an empty stare. The sound of a car engine caught his ear. The wind shifted directions and her smell hit his nose. His head perked up as his bear came fully alert inside his chest.

Rebecca.

He ran to the road, leaving his sister looking back in confusion.

He burst onto the dirt road just in time to see Rebecca’s car turn around the bend in the road. It disappeared behind the trees taking his heart with it.

She was here. She was here and she didn’t even come to say hi
.

Now he truly knew that she wasn’t interested. That she was over him, if she was ever really into him in the first place.

Connor fell to his knees and clutched his chest as his heart shattered to pieces.

nine

The day before the wedding…

“How do I look?” Sidney asked, stepping into the kitchen of the main cabin. He spun around, wearing his new black suit.

“The hat is a bit much,” Connor said, in between bites of cereal.

Sidney frowned as he ran his fingers along the rim of the tall, black, top hat. “These are in style.”

“Look at the calendar,” Connor said, pointing with his spoon. “Does it say eighteen ninety six?”

Edwin walked in through the back door looking like a super model in his suit. It hugged his athletic body perfectly, accentuating all of the right places. He was pulling the collar with his finger, making the faces of someone getting crushed by a boa constrictor. “It’s too small,” he complained. “It’s so tight.”

“Don’t rip it,” Connor said. “It’s supposed to be tight. You look good.”

“I hate it,” Edwin whined.

Sidney was looking at his reflection in the back of a silver soup ladle. “Edwin. What do you think of the hat?”

“I like it,” Edwin said, nodding. “Should I have a hat?”

“See,” Sidney said to Connor. “He likes it too. You just don’t know fashion.”

“Yeah take the fashion advice of the guy who treats this place like a nudist colony,” Connor said, shaking his head.

Sidney sat down at the table next to him as Edwin wiggled around in his suit. He looked like someone who had bugs crawling all over their skin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to the wedding?” Sidney asked.

“I wasn’t invited,” Connor said bluntly.

Sidney snorted. “That’s never stopped me from going anywhere.”

Connor raised his eyebrows. “Maybe you can hide me under that hat.”

Sidney leaned back and frowned. “Stay away from my hat.”

Edwin was pulling at his tie, his shoulders shaking. Connor was up in a flash. “No, no, no,” he said. “Calm down, calm down.”

He was going to phase in his new suit and rip it to shreds. Edwin closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing as Connor slid off his tie for him.

“It’s because he doesn’t have a hat,” Sidney said, watching them. “He needs a hat.”

Edwin looked at Connor with worried eyes. “I need a hat.”

Connor swatted Sidney away and turned back to Edwin. “No. You need to stay in your suit and keep your bear in here,” he said, tapping his chest. “Now go take it off before you get mustard or something all over it.”

Edwin took the blue tie out of Connor’s hands and left out the door. He was going to be okay. Grace would be by his side. She was getting better everyday at helping him control his inner bear, and keeping him an
inner
bear.

Sidney slid Connor’s cereal bowl towards him from across the table while watching Edwin leave. “Some people just don’t know how to act,” he said, taking a spoonful of Connor’s breakfast while shaking his head.

Connor stood on the porch of the main cabin as the two couples loaded their rental car with suits, bridesmaid dresses and whatever else they needed for Rebecca’s wedding. He sipped on a coffee while Angie and Grace came over to say goodbye. Their long faces were fit for a funeral.

“I’m so sorry Connor,” Grace said giving him a hug.

Angie jumped in, wrapping her little arms around him and Grace. “This sucks,” she said.

“It’s okay,” Connor said, getting crushed by the girls. “I just want her to be happy.”

Angie gave him a squeeze before letting go. “That’s why she should have picked you.”

“I just wish you were coming,” Grace said, releasing him.

“I have to keep an eye on here anyways.” Connor turned and motioned to the river. “Someone has to turn the water on in the morning.”

They chuckled at his bad joke.

“Go,” he said. “Have fun. Don’t worry about me. I just truly want her to be happy even if it’s not with me.”

They smiled tight smiles and turned towards the car. Sidney and Edwin came up after them.

Sidney squeezed him so tightly that he forced out a whimper. “I love you boss,” he said, kissing Connor on the forehead.

“I’ll be fine guys,” he said, desperately trying to push out of Sidney’s iron grasp so he could take a breath.

Edwin hugged him next. “Maybe she’ll change her mind boss.”

“Maybe,” he whispered, not believing that she would. “Go,” Connor said, waving them away. “Have a blast because you’re back at work Monday at nine am.”

They gave him one last pity-filled look before climbing into the small car with their mates. The tiny car angled to the left side, Sidney’s side. It groaned in distress as they drove onto the road.

Connor sat down on the porch swing and waited. He had no intention of spending the weekend moping around by himself and crying into his pillow.

Two white cars pulled into Brooke Excursions ten minutes later. A man wearing khakis and a navy blue polo stepped out of the first car. “Mr Jacoby,” he said, holding up the keys. “Here is your rental car.”

ten

The Big Day…

“Cheers Becca,” Angie said holding up a glass of Champagne in the hotel room.

“Woooo,” Grace cheered as she raised her Champagne flute in the air.

Rebecca smiled at her two bridesmaids and cheers’d them. She glanced at the clock as she took a sip, the bubbles tickling her insides on the way down. There was still two hours until the wedding. She just wanted the day to speed up so she could get it over with.

“Ew it’s warm,” Grace said, scrunching her nose up.

Rebecca grabbed the ice bucket off of the dresser. “I’ll get some ice.”

Angie stepped forward. “Let me,” she said reaching for the bucket. “You’re the bride. You shouldn’t be doing anything.”

Rebecca glanced at her reflection in the mirror. Her hair was all done up in curls, her make up was painstakingly applied by Grace and her white wedding dress hugged her curves. She never thought that she could be this beautiful.

She held her stomach as nausea overtook her. Everything was perfect. She rented separate rooms in the hotel for her and Mark to get ready. The hall was all set downstairs, looking gorgeous. The church across the street was decorated with flowers. Her dress and her bridesmaids looked fabulous and the guests were probably on their way.

But it all felt wrong.

It was her dream wedding but it was feeling like a nightmare.

Rebecca rolled the ice bucket around in her hands. “It’s okay. I’ll get it. I need some air anyways.”

The bride in the mirror was looking as white as her dress.

“Are you okay?” Angie asked.

“I’m fine,” she said, forcing out a smile.

Grace put her Champagne glass down on the dresser. “You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to. You know that right?”

“Don’t be silly,” Rebecca said. “It’s just a bit hot in this dress.”

She left the hotel room and headed down the hall to the ice room. She took deep breaths as she walked. Her stomach settled but it was soon replaced with a headache.

She came to an intersection in the hall and looked left. Mark’s room was down there.
906
. She turned right towards the ice machine and went into the tiny room.

She opened the flap of the large machine and stuck her head in. The cold felt good. It cooled her nervous skin and dulled her anxious thoughts.

Connor flashed into her mind. She smiled as she pictured him rushing in here and meeting her before the wedding. A secret meeting that only they would know about. He would come in looking sexy as hell in his tux and take her beside the machine. A dangerous and naughty quickie hours before the wedding that defied all tradition. She would walk back to the room, glowing, holding a bucketful of ice and no one would ever know. They would stand at the alter, hand in hand, with her juices on him and his in her. A naughty little secret between the bride and groom.

She dunked the ice bucket into the machine as she shook her head.
After all this time you’re still thinking about him. Can you please just let yourself try to enjoy this day?

She wondered what Mark was doing right now. Probably watching TV and emptying the mini bar. She could imagine him up at the alter, saying “I do,” with whiskey on his breath.

Rebecca took the ice bucket and walked back to the room. She stopped at the intersection in the hallway, wondering if she should go tap on Mark’s door. Maybe they could have the naughty moment that she had pictured with Connor.

His door opened and a young maid rushed out looking pissed off. “Asshole,” she mumbled to herself as she rushed away in the opposite direction.

What was that about?

This was not how she had pictured her wedding day. She continued down the hall to her room feeling stupid for even considering a quickie. Mark wasn’t romantic and spontaneous like that. They hadn’t even had sex since she came back. They hadn’t done anything. Only one kiss on the lips and it made Rebecca feel like puking. She felt like she was cheating.
It will be different when we’re married.

But she didn’t really believe that. It was a convenient story that she told herself over and over again. The truth was that she didn’t want to have sex with him. He asked and asked and she always told him that she wanted to wait until their wedding night. But now that it was quickly approaching she was feeling repulsed at the thought of his hands on her.

These are not thoughts that a bride should have on her wedding day.

But what could she do? It was too late. The guests were already dressed up in their cars.

She squeezed the ice bucket against her stomach and shuffled down the hall. She had made her bed now it was time to lay in it.

But one question was always on her mind. Who will she be thinking of when she walks down the aisle?

eleven

Connor walked into the diner across the street from the church where Rebecca was getting married. “A table by the window please,” he said to the waitress smiling at him. She fumbled for a menu and then turned and walked into an empty table.

She laughed nervously and hurried to a table with a view of the church across the street. Connor thanked her and stared at the church with melancholy running through his veins.

He wasn’t here to stop the wedding or to make a scene. He just wanted to see Rebecca in her wedding dress. He wanted to see her happy and he wanted to see her married. It would suck but it would help him get some closure. It would be the start of the long, painful healing process.