Maia tried the door knob. “Yes. Locked and bolted. I’ll get you a cool cloth for your face. Lie down and put your feet up.”
Juli laid her head back against the sofa.
“I told you to lie down. You have to get your head down and your feet up.”
Juli did. “Much better.”
“I told you so. Now, you tell me something. Who
was
he?”
“An old neighbor.” She closed her eyes enjoying the damp cloth on her forehead.
“I knocked and you didn’t answer, so I came around front. I heard you two talking. I didn’t like the sound of his voice. It gave me goose bumps. Was I right?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I over-reacted. I’ve known Frankie for a couple of years, but we’re not the kind of friends who keep up with each other, if you know what I mean.”
“What now?”
Juli pulled the cloth from her face. “I feel better now. You’re a wonderful nurse. I got too caught up, surprised by him being here. I’m spending too much time alone. I’ll be glad to get back to Anna’s class. She took off two whole weeks over the holidays.”
“Selfish woman.”
“Yes, no doubt.” Juli sat up carefully and pushed her hair back.
“Don’t get up yet.”
“I’m fine now.”
“Probably, but mention it to your doctor. To be on the safe side.”
“Okay.”
“When do you see him next?”
“Her. In a couple of weeks.”
“You’re going to think I’m pushy, and I don’t want to invade your privacy, but don’t you think you should give me a key? Suppose next time you pass out and can’t answer the door?”
“I think it’s a great idea. Remind me before you leave and I’ll give you Ben’s—I’ll give you the spare.”
Maia nodded as if all were now as it should be.
“How was your Christmas? Your family?”
“I met someone.” Maia spoke in a small voice. She blushed and her dimples crinkled.
“Tell me.”
“He works with my brother-in-law. He’s very nice. My sister set us up.”
Juli shook her head somberly. “I don’t know, Maia.”
“Don’t know what? What are you troubled about?”
“It would take a very special man to be worthy of you.”
Maia’s mouth dropped open for a moment and her eyes glistened. “You are so silly.”
“I’m serious. You’re always there for me, for others. But what about your life? You’re spending your days and evenings at work—working retail, no less—having to cater to customers. Believe me, I know how customers can be. And when you’re not working? What are you doing? Helping me and everyone else.”
“Oh, no, Juli. You’re wrong.” She leaned forward and took Juli’s hand in her own. “I love my job and I love being a friend. I receive more than I could ever give.”
“Please. You can’t fool me. I’ve worked customer service jobs since the first one I took, waitressing after school when I was sixteen. No one does that for fun.”
Maia stared into her eyes as if reading something there. “You’re wrong about me. It’s my choice. I love my job. The gallery, the artwork, helping a customer find the perfect piece... My friends give me so much more than I could ever hope for.”
She ducked her head to examine the glass coffee table. “I would like my own sweetheart, someone special for me to share my life with. Children, too, if I’m blessed with them.” She pressed Juli’s hand between her own warm ones. “Is my life perfect? No. But I’m one of the most fortunate people I know. Juli, service—serving other people—is a gift to all if it’s done with a glad heart. You’ll find your opportunity one day and it will be a choice you make, not something you’re forced into.”
****
Juli woke early on Sunday, the second day of the New Year.
She left the drapes open at night because she liked to watch the dark horizon. The stars might hang low and bright, or the moon might paint highlights on the restless ocean. In the thin line of the horizon, an anonymous vessel might be seen passing, visible by its red and white lights. It was almost hypnotic.
She was a morning person. She welcomed the early rays of sunshine allowed in by the open drapes. On this winter morning, those rays only hinted at dawn.
She shifted position to move onto her other side, resting one pillow longwise and pushed up against her side to provide some support for her belly. Baby belly. Baby bulge. Everyone had a cutesy name for it. She rested her hand on the side of her tummy, then tugged the coverlet up around her chin, determined to sleep late. But sleep had fled and the bedside clock was staring her straight in the face.
It was seven a.m. Plenty of time if she wanted to give church another try.
Leaving the draperies open provided less insulation from the winter cold. She could feel the chill air on her cheeks. She was warm and snuggly right where she was.
But her bladder was full.
She groaned, then slowly began making the adjustment, limb by limb, from the cozy land beneath the blankets, into the cold room. Ah, but here was her robe at her fingertips. Luxurious warmth, she wrapped it around her, slipping her arms into the sleeves as she crossed the room.
Business attended to, she was no longer sleepy. Second day of the New Year? It sounded right for a second trip to church. The visit had worked well last week. Sort of.
She said out loud, “I’m tired of having these arguments with myself. I always seem to lose the discussion.” Her hand was rubbing her belly. Was she talking to the baby? A little soon for that. Or, maybe not.
As before, she arrived shortly before the service began and went into the foyer, accepted a bulletin from the usher at the door and slipped into the back pew. She flipped open the hymnal to the first song,
Blessed Assurance
, and was pleased to recognize it from the Alan Jackson CD Ben had enjoyed so much. The small print in the hymnal said it was written by a lady named Fanny Cosby. Interesting. Juli had never heard of a songwriter named Fanny Cosby.
She was less on edge during this service than the week before. A few people had given her an extra-long look and she knew Pastor Herrin might have spotted her even though she was seated way in the back. The dark-haired woman in red—Juli was sure she’d met her when she came with Ben, but she couldn’t recall her name.
As the closing prayer was spoken, Juli gathered her coat and purse, ready to roll. Yet, when Amen was said, she didn’t jump up and scoot. It was silly behavior and made her more conspicuous. She was an adult and could answer for her choices, including choosing to be polite instead of scuttling away like some sort of lower life form.
She waited as Pastor Herrin made his way up the center aisle. He was heading for the foyer where he would shake hands with the congregation as they left. She remembered him doing that when she came with Ben. But this time, when he reached the back pew, he stopped. He reached out and took her hand.
“Thank you for coming.” He continued on.
She’d delayed too long and the crowd was gathering as they passed through the open doors to the foyer. She hesitated to push her way into the knot of people. The dark-haired woman in the red sweater stopped.
“My name’s Nancy. You won’t remember me from before, but I wanted to say hello. It’s good to see you again, Mrs. Bradshaw. Juli?”
“Yes, thank you.” She stood and walked into the aisle, into the opening Nancy had created for her by pausing. She felt comfortably anonymous again, and used the crowd as an excuse not to reach the pastor, but to continue on out the door.
One more small step. She started the car, glad to note she was more relaxed this week. Not so bad. Not bad at all. Maybe next time she’d be a little friendlier. Maybe she’d bring Ben’s Bible and try to follow along with the sermon and spend less time planning her departure.
For one crazy moment—one heart-stopping breath—she turned to her right, to the passenger seat, expecting to see Ben. She was already smiling at him, ready to laugh at her foolishness, but even before the turn of her head was complete, she knew he wasn’t there.
She felt him though, even if it was only the warm memory of him still at home in her heart.
Chapter Thirty
The rental management company rep called. “Mrs. Bradshaw? Hi, this is Marisa and I’ve got good news.”
The relationship with the management company, while pleasant, had thus far not led to chummy phone calls, so this must be very good news, at least for the management company.
“I don’t think we’ve spoken before. I talked to your husband many times. He was a great guy. We were sorry to hear about your loss.”
“Thank you.”
“This time of year can be challenging in terms of rentals, but we got an offer for your duplex,
Sea Green Glory East
, from a woman who wants at least a month’s stay.”
Neighbors for the month of January? “Great. I think. Is there a catch? How many are in the family?” A little noise might be fun.
“One woman. She expects her family to visit, so she wants plenty of room. She specifically requested
Sea Green Glory
. Said she knew someone who’d stayed there before, who recommended it. A month-long rental in January is very fortunate.”
“Well, thanks for giving me the news.”
Marisa laughed. “I like to deliver good news.”
****
Patricia O’Brien moved in at the beginning of the second week in January. She was petite and dark-haired, but the hair was liberally streaked with gray. Juli guessed she was in her fifties. Pat wore an aura of quiet confidence and competence, wrapped in a compact package.
Juli watched her stroll down the crossover toward the ocean. It was a chilly day, but there was no wind and the sun was strong.
Pat was a mystery. Juli’s instinct told her there was more to the woman’s story because something about Pat didn’t add up, but she seemed so rational and down-to-earth it was hard to work up any worry about her.
A few days earlier, the day Pat moved in, she had surprised Juli. It was a mild day and Juli was enjoying a rocker on the porch. She hadn’t heard Pat arrive because the woman had entered the house using the exterior stairs on her side of the duplex.
The woman peeked around the porch divider. “Hi, I’m Pat.”
Juli stopped mid-rock. “I’m Juli. Nice to meet you.”
“I’d better get to unpacking. See you around.” She popped back behind the divider.
Juli waved, but Pat was already gone.
She’d seen Pat a couple of times since through the window when Pat took walks. Strangely, she often returned from the opposite direction.
After a week, Juli had gotten used to the idea of Pat next door and even drew comfort from it. Honestly, anyone, including an intruder like Frankie, could move in over there and she’d never hear a sound. With Pat in residence, that couldn’t happen.
The other side of the duplex was very much like her side. Twins, but flipped. Her side had the sunset. The east side got the morning sun. Her side had slightly better furnishings, but not by much. Ben hadn’t been a ‘stuff’ person. When he’d moved into the
Glory
full-time he was content with the furnishings already in place.
The baby moved. It wasn’t the first time, but it was by far the strongest. She put both hands on her moderate bulge and felt movement again.
“I was thinking about your daddy. Did you know that?” Her eyes went misty but the torrential emotional storms she’d experienced in December seemed to have subsided.
She was seeing the obstetrician monthly and the doc was happy with the progress of the pregnancy. Juli wanted to be happy, too. In her heart she was quietly glowing, but she was afraid of wanting this too much and having it snatched away. “Baby, I’m looking forward to meeting you. I’ll do my best for you.”
Juli picked up the envelope with their wedding photo. She took it up to the tower, slid the photo out and clipped it to her easel.
****
Art classes resumed in the second week of January. Anna had arranged a still life on a table, draped gracefully with a white cloth. She asked the students to start with pencil or charcoal on paper. From there, with the student’s eyes more intimately familiar with curves and lines of the objects and their spatial relationships to each other, each student would move to canvas and choose whether they preferred to paint in oil or acrylic. They’d done this routine before, but this time it came more naturally. She held the vine charcoal and swept the lines, not minding the dark smudges on her hands and clothing.
Billy was attentive and the ladies talked about holding a baby shower.
Classes once a week. Errands here and there. That was about it. Juli knew she’d been inside too much. Hiding from Frankie? Maybe, but it was also the end of January at the beach and not generally inviting. This day was beautiful and much too lovely to stay inside. She took her coat from the closet. The buttons no longer met across the middle.
Juli laughed. She needed a separate coat for her tummy. She put on an oversized sweatshirt and then her coat on top of it, and stepped out. She was partway down the crossover when Pat called out.
“Taking a walk? Mind if I join you?”
“Please do.” No reason to be rude and maybe Pat would divulge how she managed to return from the wrong end of the beach on most of her walks. There was no other option but to walk along the road and through people’s yards. But why would she do that?
“If you don’t mind me asking, when’s the baby due?”
“April. It seems a long way away.” A gust of ocean breeze blew strands of hair across her face. She tucked them back behind an ear.
“Ah, it’ll be here before you know it.”
“Do you have children?”
“One. A son. He’s married.”
“Grandchildren?”
“Not yet.”
“I see you out walking a lot, even when it’s pretty brisk out here. Do you work? Or are you retired?”
“Semi-retired. Taking a break right now.”
“I see.” But she didn’t. If Juli had taken a break from work, back when she worked, winter at the beach wouldn’t have been her first choice. Now, there was nowhere else she wanted to be. And what about all those family members Pat expected to visit—per Marisa.
Juli saw a man standing on the beach ahead, too distant for her to see him clearly. She had a moment of alarm and stutter-stepped.
“Something wrong?” Pat’s voice sharpened.
“No, I’m fine. Thought I saw someone I know. False alarm.”
“Oh? It sounds like someone you’d rather not see.”
“That’s it, exactly. He’s someone I used to know.”
“Is he an old boyfriend? They don’t always stay in the past where they belong.”
She laughed. “Frankie, a boyfriend? No. Never. Although lots of women think he’s cute. I’ve never understood it.”
A gust of ocean wind drove cold, stinging sand across their faces.
Pat shivered. “Ready to turn back?”
“Sure.”
They turned around. The wind was kind enough to stay at their backs, prodding them toward the house. Ben’s house. Her house. It stood out from the nearby houses, an improbable shade of green she would never have chosen, not in a million years, but she loved it. “
Sea Green Glory
.”
Pat peeked out from her hunched up coat collar. “Yes? What?”
“
Sea Green Glory
. You know that, of course. Marisa said you asked for it specifically.”
“Of course.”
“I call it the
Glory
. I guess it sounds grandiose. Or silly.”
“Not at all.
Sea Green
has a nice beachy feel, but
Glory
gives it flair.”
“Flair. I like that.” Ben had used that word to describe her drawing. It seemed so long ago. “
Glory
sounds like hope to me. Hope and dreams.”
Pat went silent as she watched Juli walk through the little gate onto her side of the porch. Juli gave her a wave and went inside.
Juli fixed a tall drink of tea, did a quick double-check of the door locks, including the slide bolts, then went up to the tower to resume the portrait.
She took comfort in painting the lines of his face, the planes of his cheeks and jaw, the shadow of a brow over toffee-colored eyes. Medium brown, slightly shaggy hair.
No, It wasn’t Rembrandt, and it wasn’t ever going to grace the walls of a gallery, but this painting, should she finish it and decide it was good enough to share, would be for their child.
There was an image hiding in the shades of light and dark. A leaner face with sharp cheekbones and a strong jaw. They were cousins. A resemblance was reasonable.
Juli touched her brush into the wet paint on the canvas to soften the lips.
A resemblance, yes, but never a risk of mistaking one for the other.