Authors: Samantha Forest
***
Sam was cleaning his gun and supplies at the kitchen table when Rob walked in, looking a little nervous. They had rode home together in relative quiet, but knowing Sam that wasn’t really anything out the usual. So many thoughts were running through Robs mind on the journey. Did this mean he was gay? Had it been a drunken mistake? Would Sam ask him to leave? Or was this why Sam had left the Navy Seals? Most of what he was afraid of wasn’t really anything to do with whether he was gay or not. That seemed superfluous to the entire situation. His time at the ranch had been the first time in so long since he had felt comfortable, at home in the world and not constantly trying to put on an act. Sam, while he might be quiet and distant at times, made him feel more understood than he had in years. And the previous night had been a revelation. It wasn’t something he could just leave behind as if it had never happened. It wasn’t an accident. Unlike his relationship with Maria or Katie, this felt like it meant something. Like he had genuinely connected with someone.
All this time that Rob had been thinking, hovering in the doorframe, Sam had been staring at him, still running a polishing cloth over the barrel of his gun. Sam’s eyes were intense and dark, and they saw in Rob’s eyes a familiar fear. A fear that he had already felt, already tried to bury in being alone and isolated. It was a fear he’d worn out the edges on, turned it over and over like a stone in his hand every night before he went to sleep. Fear of being gay was one thing. It was the baggage that came with it. The sense that there was something fundamentally wrong with him that made it impossible to connect with other people. Sam had joined the navy to cut some part of himself off, to make himself as uniform and the same as possible. And it worked to a point, until the others subconsciously sensed the part of himself he was trying to drown. Sam knew the fear Rob was feeling better than he knew his horses or his cattle or anything else in the whole world.
‘You know you can stay, Rob, I want you here’.
*****
THE END
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His Secret Asi
an Assistant
by Patricia Vanzant
Alvin smiled, realizing that his company was doing better over the last quarter. He looked at the statistics, and soon he sighed.
“Looks like I’ve been doing the right things. I just wish that I could with the same with my sex life,” he told himself.
As he looked out the window of his giant office, he watched the skyline as it changed from afternoon to evening. The sun was setting, and normally this was the time that other workers would flock on home to their families, but that’s not what Alvin did. Alvin was a workaholic, and frankly it took a toll on everything.
Alvin was about forty years old and had been married to his wife Sandra for almost ten years. He thought things would be great because she was with him when he started up his company, and in the few years as it became bigger, she was with him through it all. He had two kids with her, two boys named Jude and Luke, who were good kids, but got in a bit of trouble at times. He never really thought about how miserable he was until one day, he started to see that Sandra didn’t give as much of a shit about him or their life. They started having less sex, and now he could safely say he had a sexless marriage. It was awful to admit that to himself, but the truth was, he didn’t know what else to say. He was in a sexless marriage, and it was tearing him apart.
He wanted the feel of intimacy, but it seemed like Sandra wasn’t interested. Someone told him it would be harder once they were over thirty, and they weren’t joking. Alvin did masturbate to help ease the tension, but it was still not enough. He wondered if things would change when he finally got a chance to say what he meant to say to her. Sandra was beautiful, but it almost seemed like she didn’t care about him, the kids, or having sex anymore.
He got a call on his phone as he sat at his desk in a slump. He grasped it, holding it to his ear and speaking.
“Hey there Sandra,” he said in his deep voice.
“Hey there honey. So Luke and Jude are with a couple of friends today, and I was thinking about going out with my sister tonight. Apparently there is this great pottery class that she wanted me to come with her to, so we’re going to go. I left some food for you on the table whenever you get back,” she said.
Of course she would be going out. The first night in forever they had to themselves and already she was hightailing it out the door like she didn’t give a fuck. It bothered him that it was happening like this. That he was having to pretend to smile when on the inside he felt like crying. God, what was he supposed to do? The only thing he knew he could do was to just wait and see what happened next.
“Okay. Are you sure you don’t want to spend a night together? It could be a romantic evening,” he offered. He tried his best to hint at the fact that he wanted to take her out. He couldn’t believe that she was passing him up to go to a stupid pottery class. Was this really what marriage was like? It was taking a toll on him.
“Sorry babe, I’m just going to head on out. This is the first time in forever that Leah is free, and I miss her,” she told him.
Alvin was growing frustrated. He couldn’t believe his smoking hot wife was passing up sex to go to some stupid class. What kind of life was this? This had to be hell, this just had to be.
“Fine, have fun,” he said with a sigh.
“I love you babe,” she said with a small kissing sound at the end of the words. Did he really feel the same way? He thought that he did, but he honestly didn’t know what to believe. He did care about her, and he wanted to treat her right, but it seemed like she didn’t feel the same way. Of course, he was also thinking about the fact that he was working hard, making money, only for her to blow it.
“Love you too,” he replied.
They hung up, and soon Alvin was growing frustrated. He had an interview in the morning, so he wouldn’t be able to stick around with Sandra first thing. It was an interview for a new assistant, and he was supposed to meet with him at the end of it. The guy’s name was Tatsuya or something like that. Some strange foreign name, but apparently he was the best in the business. In a sense Alvin couldn’t wait to meet him. He was supposed to help him with a few of the technological things on his end, and Tatsuya was supposed to be his right-hand man. Whatever that meant, he was ready for it. Seemed interesting though, and honestly better than Sandra.
Alvin spent the next four hours working. If Sandra was just going to run off with her little girlfriend and hang out with her while leaving him at home, then so be it. He didn’t have time for that shit, and frankly he enjoyed working rather than dealing with the crap that she threw at him at times. It was strange, but he was excited for whatever might happen with this new guy. Whatever it may be, he was certainly ready for it.
As Alvin reached his home, he stepped inside, realizing it was super quiet. Was this really what life was like? Sure, he was a billionaire who had a pretty wife and kids, but he didn’t seem happy, nor was he fulfilled. He didn’t know what else to do about this, and right now, as he laid down in bed, the only thing he could do was hope that something better would come along to help him occupy his time.
***
When he got up, he was expecting Sandra to be there by his side. To his disappointment, he realized that she stayed at her sister’s house that night. He sighed, realizing that wallowing in his own sadness would only make things worse. He headed in to work, wondering just how much more of this he could take. When he got there, apparently the interview had already been conducted, and in front of his office was a young man about 10 years younger than him. He had dark black hair, brown eyes, and his hair was cut in a sort of messy way. Alvin felt something, and suddenly, he grew confused. The guy was kind of cute in his eyes, but he didn’t get why he felt this way.
“Hello there. You’re Alvin, right?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s me. You’re Tatsuya I’m guessing?” he replied.
“That’s right sir. I’m here to work for the company. You seem to be doing well here. I’m amazed and surprised at it all,” he replied.
“Thank you. I’m glad that you like the place. I’ve worked hard to build this company up, and I’m glad someone enjoys it,” he replied.
They went into his office, and when Alvin followed Tatsuya in, he realized something else that made him feel confused. The boy had a nice ass. He was 20 from what he gathered, and this kid was a genius. He graduated high school at 15 and finished college by 19. He was a computer programming whiz, and he was excited according to the interviewers about working for Alvin’s company. Then again, Alvin had one of the biggest companies out there, and it was an honor to be chosen to work here.
“So, you’re my new assistant. I’m guessing they told you about the job and what it will entail, right?” he asked the young man.
“That’s right. I know all about what I’m about to do. I think it’s just what I was expecting too,” the young man said.
“Well I’m glad about that. Anyways, let’s keep things short. I pretty much just need you to help me with my work, make sure that people are doing it right, and correcting things that need to be corrected. Other than that, it’s a pretty simple job,” he said.
“I figured as much. Plus, you’re a lot nicer than I expected. I was assuming you would be angry,” Tatsuya said.
“Why would you think that?” Alvin asked.
“I don’t know, just thought that you might be miserable,” the young man said.
Did this kid know the truth? He didn’t want to ask, but then again, he did feel that way. He felt like even though it seemed like his life was perfect, in reality it was far from it.
“Nah, but that’s not what this is about. Let’s get started however,” he told Tatsuya with a strict tone.
He showed Tatsuya the ropes, but when he was around him, he could feel his heart pounding. He never did anything with a man before, but seeing this young man help him out made him feel excited for whatever reason. Why was he getting aroused just from someone assisting him with his work? It felt so weird, so weird indeed.
The day went along as best as it could go, and at the end of the day, Tatsuya started to open up to Alvin. It was weird, but hanging around Tatsuya felt right, and even though this was a work relationship, he wanted more from this man. He couldn’t help it, mainly because he missed the feeling of another person.
About two weeks had passed, and in truth Alvin’s life was shit at home, but amazing at work. That morning, he stepped into the kitchen where the food was, but Sandra was already getting ready to leave.
“You’re not even going to say good morning?” he asked her.
“Sorry, I have a couple of business calls to take first thing this morning. I’ll see you tonight!” she said.
She ran off, and Alvin realized he was alone here. He didn’t feel like he could be a part of this anymore, and when he got into work, Tatsuya could see the look on Alvin’s face almost immediately.
“Something the matter?” the young Asian asked.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” he said with a mumble. He went to his office, trying to focus on the day but feeling hurt. He couldn’t believe that Sandra didn’t even say hello to him. She acted like he was just there, that he was a part of her life just so that they could say they were together. Granted, getting a divorce would probably end up creating a lot of drama for them, but then again, maybe it was for the best. Maybe it was best that they did leave each other, but he didn’t know how to say it.
At the end of the day, there was a knock at the door. Most of the employees had already left, and immediately, Alvin was curious. He told Tatsuya to go home early, but when he opened the door, he was there. He looked at Alvin with a worried look.
“Are you okay Alvin?” he asked.
Alvin was socked. So this guy really did care. It seemed almost surreal in a sense.
“I guess you could say that,” he said.
“Let me talk to you. I’ll listen. I’m your coworker, but I also care a lot about you,” the young man said.
Alvin nodded, letting the young man in and having him sit down. Tatsuya looked at Alvin with innocent eyes, and it made his heart race.
“Remember when you assumed that everything was okay? It’s not,” he started.