Authors: Samantha Forest
"Please Kayla, meet me Monday morning for coffee" He unexpectedly pleads. My eyelashes bat against my eyelids as I analyze his expression of passion. "Of course I will. You have my number, you can call at any time" I soothingly inform him. A smile parts upon his silken lips, a rushing urge to seal our mouths together strikes my hormones. Yet I contain myself in an elegant manner while standing from the couch, "I should probably get going now, may I use your restroom?" I inquire as he stands beside me. "Anytime, I'll show you to it and then go get the kids" He perfectly plans. Once in the restroom, I dampen my tousled curls with a bit of water in order to smooth them. Forthwith, I gather my scattered thoughts and proceed towards the front door.
Joseph stands beside both Mia and Ayden, playing to see who can jump the highest for a high five. "Do we really have to go now mommy?" Ayden's first words sadly ask as he sees me. "Yeah buddy, we'll visit again soon" I promise him as Joseph sends me the warmest of smiles. "Yay! Next time we could play Star Wars!" Mia loudly chirps, it is clear that they have gotten along perfectly. As Ayden and his new best friend begin to chat, Joseph slowly approaches me. "Monday morning?" He reassures. "Indeed" I eagerly respond. Before I can react, Joseph pulls me in and applies a tender kiss on my cheek. The corner of his lips partially meet with mine and spirals a layer of chills along my exposed skin. I suddenly begin to hope that it was already Monday.
My heart beat flutters at the thought of Joseph awaiting my presence inside. We only spent nearly the entire night complimenting how well we find one another's development. I take note that it is my first time being thankful that Ayden is at school. A cool brush of air slithers its way through my natural; bouncy curls as I enter the medium Starbucks shop. "Over here" A deep and familiar voice excites my ears. My head whips over my left should and finds Joseph, sitting charming as ever in a black T-shirt.
The color intensifies the shade of his alarming blue eyes with every step I take closer him. He stands and meets me with an enveloping bear hug, my nostrils absorb the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Just when my body begins to melt within the grasp of his sculpted arms, he slowly releases me. "Good morning" I breathlessly welcome, he sends me a cheery smile. "Good morning lovely lady. What will you be having?" Joseph politely inquires.
I can feel my cheeks flush from his compliment, yet I casually place my order. "Carmel frappe over ice, please" I kindly speak, he nods his head in turn. "You've got it" He affirms whilst gesturing me towards the table we will be sitting at. As he walks over to the line and falls into conversation with another gentleman, I cannot help but notice that Joseph has left his phone atop of the table. A flashback floods my memory of how he had cheated on me in high school, until I realize that a little over a decade has passed. He claimed things have changed, surely he means the strength of his loyalty as well.
My nerves are suddenly startled by the vibration of Joseph's phone in front of me. I casually glide it within my view as his attention is currently elsewhere. To my surprise, my eyes are met with a pop-up text from a contact labeled "Monica". With a message reading "We need to talk" The pit of my stomach is instantly dense with distrust. I slide his phone back to the other end of the table. As he returns, I cannot help but blankly stars as he attempts several and various conversations. "Is everything okay?" He pauses to ask.
A lump forms in my throat as I recall the text from who I assume is his booty call. "Great." I shortly answer. "This is amazing quality time. I hope to see you more often" Joseph's sweet tone confesses. I kindly nod my head as some sort of approval. He checks his phone for the first time as I watch for his reaction. Expressionlessly, he quickly sets it back upon the table- face down. After enduring an awkward twenty more minutes, I swiftly hug him goodbye. My body pulses with foreign emotions as I attempt to control my distorted feelings. I am unsure if I desire to devote my time to this man, prompting me to settle with sleeping on the thought.
***
"They get along so well" Joseph whispers into my ear, his breath tickling my neck. "They do, don't they" I agree as we watch Ayden and Mia pass a football between one another. "She's got an arm on her" I add as Mia tosses the ball to my son. It's a rather nice fall evening, the air is crisp and we are all enjoying a lovely stroll through the park. It feels surreal, too good to be true in a way.
"I haven't seen Ayden get along like this with anyone in a long time" I confide watching my son eagerly running to catch the ball. He's smiling and having a real good time, it's not forced, for once in these past few years since his father has left us, my son is actually having a good time. I feel my eyes begin to water and my heart swells with emotion. "You alright babe?" Joseph asks lovingly, "It's just that, I just can't believe..." I begin but am quieted by a kiss. "Believe it" he whispers reassuringly, his deep eyes fixated upon mine. I smile comforted by his very glance, his words still ringing in my mind.
Suddenly our gaze is broken by a ringing cell phone, "that's you" I mumble. Joseph glances at his phone, "I gotta take this this he tells me, leaving me with no chance to respond as he rushes off to answer the phone call, ”Must be work, it's always work with this guy" I think to myself before focusing on the children again. I make my way over to the track and begin to walk it by myself, it's fifteen minutes before I see Joseph again. "Sorry about that-" he begins to explain, "Work?" I cut him off, the annoyance is my voice is apparent.
He chuckles and smiles sheepishly at me "You know how it is already, money doesn't make itself" he says boldly. Joseph looks down anxiously, I can immediately tell something is on his mind. "So what is it now?" I ask, I'm sure he hears the disappointment already seeping into my voice. He looks at me, hands balled into his pockets, "I gotta go out of town again..." he begins, I've never seen him look this nervous, it's almost kind of cute.
"But..." he continues, "I'll be back next Tuesday." he looks into my eyes this time, searching for a response. "When do you leave?" I ask curiously, "First thing tomorrow morning” he responds quickly, his voice breaking as I look away. "You know I'd take you with me if I could" he tells me, "And you know that's not possible" I break over him, slightly annoyed at the suggestion that I would even consider leaving my child whom he knows already feels abandoned.
"Where's Mia going to go?" I change the subject in an attempt to hide my annoyance, Joseph is a smart man and I know that he knows exactly what he's doing when he suggests me going away with him on his business trips, he knows I can't go, him offering to take me with him is just an easy way out. "Her mother's house" he replies picking up my hand and looking out into the distance. His phone goes off again and this time I happen to glance down "Monica" it reads, I look at him quickly, the curiosity in my eyes betraying me. "Work" is his one word reply to me as he begins trekking away from me, phone in his hand. "Work my ass" I think to myself as I watch him walk away once again and I begin to wonder if this is what life would be like with this man.
Sure, he's decent, our kids get along great, we have history together, our sex life is amazing... but the phone calls never stopped, he is always busy and "Who the hell is Monica?" I wonder aloud, the trees the only witness to my outburst. I feel my palms beginning to perspire, "Ayden" I call out to my son breaking his concentration. "I'm ready to go" I tell my son, I see his smile drop and feel instantly guilty, "Okay, fifteen more minutes" I tell him, his smile returning to his face. My son and I have been through a lot these past few years, the last thing I wanted to do was further disappoint him.
***
"Sorry, about that" I hear from behind me, "Ice cream anyone?" Joseph asks the children from behind me. Once again, I know what he's trying to do here and it annoys me to no end. "Yes!" both Mia and Ayden exclaim excitedly, I know that if I object I would be the "bad guy" here and decide to go the path of least resistance. "Sure" I agree half heatedly as we all begin to make our way towards Joseph's 2016 Hummer.
"Your dad sure has a cool car" I hear my son tell Mia, "Yeah, I like mommy's better though" I hear her respond as we all load up into the extravagant beast of a vehicle before us. "Wanna watch some cartoons?" Joseph asks while turning on the television in the backseat, the kids both eagerly reach for headphones at the same time. "I want to watch Madagascar" Mia protests loudly from the back, "Madagascar? Does that sound good to you Ayden?" Joseph asks my son, he nods in agreement and after a few minutes of finding the movie and getting the kids settled in we are on our way.
"So... who's Monica?" I begin, the kids are so preoccupied with the movie, the last thing on their minds is trying to figure out what us adults are talking about. "Monica? Oh.. Monica, babe, that's my assistant. I can't believe I haven't told you about her, sorry about that, must have slipped my mind. She's been working for me the past year and a half. I hired her after, Melanie, retired." he begins to explain. "Melanie? I take it you have a habit of hiring women then?" I ask curiously, hoping my voice doesn't betray me and reveal the annoyance I feel right about now towards Joseph.
"Babe, she's just my assistant and nothing more. She's punctual and knows her place, sure, she's no Melanie but she gets the job done. The last girl I hired just couldn't keep up with me and my schedule. When do you ever see a man with a male assistant?" he continues to explain. "So, is it an ego thing then?" I ask him this time I am sure he can hear the annoyance in my voice. "Oh, I get it now" he teases, "You're jealous?" he asks me his eyes peering into mine for an answer, "Just keep your eyes on the road" I tell him, I break our gaze and stare at the open road for what seems like forever.
I feel my hands begin to perspire again, I'm incredibly bothered by Joseph's accusations. So just because I have questions about the women in his life I'm "jealous" in his eyes? This does not sit too well for me and I find myself plagued with even more questions. I try to remain mindful that the children are in the car and decide to drop the matter entirely, there's a time and a place and this is neither the time nor the place.
"You mind dropping us off at our house after ice cream?" I ask Joseph, a sheepish grin overtakes his face, "Actually, I was thinking you and Ayden would just like to come over and have dinner before going out for ice cream, I'm going to be out of town for a two weeks and want to spend some quality time together before I go, plus we can sit down and talk about this privately. Please Kayla? I know you're upset and rightfully so but just give me a chance to explain things." I look at Joseph and can't find the courage to say no, he has been extra sweet this evening and at least he's trying to make this work. "Please, just drop us off at home" I tell Joseph.
***
He's in no mood to make a scene, especially in front of his daughter so he obliges, "Sure Kayla" he says flatly. The whole ride home I am in deep thought. "Do I really know this man?" I keep asking myself. "Is this a lifestyle I can truly see myself living?" I think as we pull into my driveway. I hardly notice when he opens my door to let me out. "Have a safe business trip" I tell Joseph as I exit the vehicle, Ayden has already let himself in with his key.
He kisses me with purpose and I pull away instinctively, something about this doesn't feel right to me. The rest of the night my mind is racing, full of longing, regret and repulsion. It is a confusing feeling, part of me wants to see where this will take me but the other side of me, the practical side knows I am not built for this kind of living. Realistically I know I cannot live with the constant suspicion and wonder. "I'll sleep on it" I tell myself just as my phone goes off "Joseph" it reads, I do not answer.
"Are we ever going to go back to our old house?" Ayden asks curiously, the thing that has always surprised me about children is just how much they actually catch on to. My son was no exception. A whole month has passed since I have seen Joseph. I justify my sudden disappearance to myself by remembering just how uncomfortable and out of my element being around someone with so much going on makes me feel.
The late night calls from his "job" and his affinity for hiring young, pretty assistants was enough to make any sane woman re-evaluate her place in a relationship. The icy reception from his friends was enough to send me running in the opposite direction. Any man worth my time isn't going to treat me like I'm nonexistent in front of his friends. I decided I needed a change in my life so I did what any fed up woman in control of her life does when provided the chance- started from scratch.
I sometimes wonder if leaving my cousin in control of the company I worked so hard to build is a good idea but I trust her and I trust myself to make these decisions- I have to at this point as it's too late to turn around. My new apartment is definitely a downgrade from my previous home but it's just Ayden and I now, we don't need all the extra space. "Mom?" I hear Ayden call out to me again, “the Fed-Ex people are here! We have a package!" We race to the front door.
"Does a Mrs. Kayla Woods reside here?" the man asks, "That would be me" I respond and after a signature he hands me a rather large package, so large in fact Ayden has to help me carry it inside.We both set the package down and look at one another with curiosity. "Let's open it!" Ayden exclaims and we both get busy cutting open the large box, unsure of what could possibly be inside. "Oh, wow! I've never seen a teddy bear this huge!" Ayden yells out excitedly. Neither have I, it catches me off guard.
***
"Who could have sent this" I wonder to myself just before my eyes catch glimpse of an envelope at the bottom of the box. It simply reads "Kayla" on the front. I anxiously open the envelope and I can tell that my face has dropped. "I miss you" it reads on the inside, a picture of Joseph, the kids and I all together. "Has he known where I live this whole time?" I say out loud in shock and anger, this catches Ayden's attention and he is immediately drawn to the card in my hand. "Hey, it's all of us together" he tells me as he looks at the picture in my hand. "I miss Joseph and Mia" my son tells me, I can see the hurt in his eyes.