Battle Lines. (17 page)

His hand lay on her thigh, stroking her, reaching round to stroke the inner part of her flesh. Stopping just short of the tender flesh that sat between her legs and then stroked down towards her knee before starting the process again.

“Mm.” She murmured groggily.

“Feeling better?” he asked her.

“I didn’t get any sleep last night.” She said still in a lack of sleep induced state. Her tongue unguarded. “I spent half of it pacing, a quarter of it crying and a quarter of it in the shower.”

“Why the shower?” Jake asked her.

“To stop the heat.” She said, not realising what she was saying.

“Ah.” Jake said knowingly.

“Then early this morning I discovered that I…” She stopped.

“Wasn’t pregnant.” He filled in softly.

“Yes.”

“That upset you.” It was stated rather than asked.

“I didn’t think it would but it did. I was extremely tired so it could have been that.”

“Yes… it could.” Jake agreed with her softly.

“Do you remember the time I fell out of the old oak tree?” she suddenly asked.

“Which time, there were hundreds.” He moaned at her. “You will need to narrow it down a little.” Amanda sighed, he was exaggerating.

“I wasn’t that bad.” She started. “The time I broke my ankle.” She heard him take a breath. “The left one.” She supplied before he could ask.

“Oh that time. Yeah you gave me a heart attack. I don’t think I have ever run that fast over that kind of distance ever in my life.” She smiled. “And it wasn’t the first time you almost killed me by doing something dangerous or downright clumsy. I am surprised I survived my teenage years with my sanity intact.”

“Who says you did.” She ribbed him and he batted her arm playfully. “And I was not that bad.”

“You really were.”

“I had to stay in bed for weeks. You used to bring me those sweets. The little pink shrimps that I loved.”

“I remember.”

“You brought me so many, and I ate them all. I ended up being sick.”

“Well I wasn’t expecting you to eat them all at once. If I had known, then I would have rationed you.” She giggled, her brain becoming clearer as the sleepy fog began to evaporate.

“What about the time I was messing in the shed.”

“Which time?”

“Covered in paint.” She supplied.

“With or without the oil.”

“With… I think.” She told him. “Mum and dad were away for the weekend.”

“Oh that time. Right. I still do not know how you managed to get paint all over you. I had to rush out and buy new clothes for you and get rid of all the incriminating evidence before mum and dad got back.” They both began to laugh.

“It took weeks to get all of it out of my hair.”

“At least mum and dad were none the wiser. Mum would have killed you for sure had she seen the state of you.”  This was true. She would have hit the roof and dad would have retreated into his study so that his wife would not see him laughing.

“You were always there to bail me out of trouble.” She agreed.

“I just tried to keep up, some days it was a losing battle.”

“How about when I stripped down dad’s car engine to prove to you that I could do it.”

“How could I. All those parts spread across the garage, and the driveway.”

“You should not have goaded me.” She chastised playfully.

“When you put it back together again you were pleased to have lots of spare parts left over.” Yes, she remembered. Jake had worked on the car all through the night to finish so that when their parents had come home Dad had been none the wiser.

“Oh please, there wasn’t that many parts left over.” She said.

“Trust me I remember exactly how many pieces were going spare.”

“You have bailed me out of trouble many times. That seemed to be your permanent job.”

“There have been far too many times to recount them all.” He told her.

“Why can’t you bail me out this time?” She asked reminiscent of a young forlorn child. Jake’s arms squeezed around her.

“It’s not from lack of trying. I keep throwing you the life line but you are too stubborn to take it.” She sighed wistfully.

“You could make it easy.”

“Not a chance. I won’t have that thrown in my face every time we argue.” He told her firmly. “Sometimes you have to bail yourself out.”

“And this is one of those times.” She said.

“I am afraid so. But, you are not alone. I will always be here for you. You know that.” Yes, she did and it was because he was there that she was in this mess.

She moved her head back so that she could look at his profile. Jake moved toward her his eyes catching hers and then his lips touched hers.

Gently, tenderly. No pressure. Just small little touches. Amanda kissed him back. She moved closer giving him permission to take it further. But Jake kept it to light lingering touches of lips. His hands stroking and soothing her arms, her leg. The small of her back.

She could feel the beginnings of a throbbing need but she knew that this kiss wasn’t about sexual passion. This was about giving her reassurance and comfort. Jake was kissing her to soothe her. To bring her closer to him, to create a bond that went beyond those throes of passion that they felt.

Amanda gave herself up to it. Allowing Jake to soothe her with his lips, his hands. She groaned when Jake moved his hand up her leg. His hand resting close to what made her a woman. She felt the back of his finger gently stroke the fabric of her knickers and she took in a deep breath.

“I can’t.” She said the words with such sadness, such sorrow as she remembered why she couldn’t.

“I know.” Jake told her gently. His tone reassuring her. “It’s okay baby. I promise.” He stroked her again. His kiss deepened. He shifted his position so that he could rest her back against the cushions.

His tongue filled her mouth. Stroking and soothing slowly in much the same way as his hands. She felt him increase the pressure a little between her legs, over the fabric of her knickers. Already she could feel that slow deep ache beginning. She sighed as she felt the pleasure of it building up inside.

Even in her distressed state her body responded to him. Already it was building and she knew where it was heading. Jake did not speed up, nor did he allow passion or urgent need to overtake them. Instead he built the pressure gently and slowly. Keeping his kisses tender.

And then her body was tensing. Her muscles becoming tight as she felt it inside. Slowly she went higher, slowly she felt her orgasm happening. She held her breath and stilled. Still it built, her fingers curled into a ball and then she cried out as she exploded. Huge shuddering waves washed over her body.

Jake continued his stroking, staying slow and Amanda was shocked when her body started the climb almost immediately again.

“Jake.” She cried out as she tipped over the edge. Jake wrapped her in his arms and held her close as the last embers of her orgasm died down. She sighed a shaky sigh and Jake lifted his head.

“Come on.” He patted her arm gently. She opened her eyes.

“What?” she asked him.

“As much as I am enjoying myself. And I am immensely, I could keep this up all day.” He smiled at her.

“I’m not sure I could.” She told him. Although she wanted to.

“No, probably not. It is too nice to stay indoors.”

“What do you suggest?”

“How about we go for a walk down by the lake. We could stop for lunch in that café mum and dad used to take us to. We could take a slow walk back.” It did sound very good. “Let’s go then.” Jake answered her thoughts.

Chapter 18.

Jake got up from the sofa pulling her with him.  And then he was tugging on her hand pulling her to the front door. He picked up her keys from the table on the way out and grabbed her cardigan hanging up on the coat hook.

She did not complain or remind him that this was her house not his. She let him lead her to the car and help her in. she even let him reach over and put her seat belt on before kissing her again and then closing the passenger door and walking round the car as he joined her inside the interior.

The drive down to the lake had been very relaxed. They had chatted about stuff, nothing heavy or personal. Definitely nothing intimate. Instead it was like it had been, like it had been before all the… trouble. It was nice, not being at war with Jake.

Now they were walking slowly, standing side by side. Jake holding her hand firmly in his.

“Mandy, look.” Jake pointed across the lake to the ducks on the other side of the bank.

“Hey it looks like those two are having a humdinger of a fight.” She said as she watched the two ducks pecking, chasing and quaking loudly at each other.

“We’ll call those two Jake and Amanda.” He told her and she giggled

“We are not that bad.” She said and then. “Well, yes we are. Aren’t we?” she grimaced.

“No you are that bad.” He corrected.

“No one can have an argument by themselves.” She pointed out.

“But if anyone could it would be you.” He said. “Mandy the arguments wouldn’t be there if you just took off those blinkers that you have put on.” He said it softly.

“I guess.” She sighed. “It is lovely here. Just what you need after the hustle and bustle of work.” She changed the subject and Jake chuckled softly but he let her.

“How is work?” he asked her.

“Almost very nearly ended in disaster. But I had a reprieve at the last minute. Well at least until the next time.” She shrugged.

“If you need any help.” He suggested. But she shook her head.

“No this is my business. If I sink or swim, I want it to be from my own doing and not someone else’s.” she said firmly.

“You are far too stubborn for your own good.” He complained.

“Yes, but that’s what you love about me.” She joked.

“One of the reasons.” He told her softly and she felt herself blush. “So, disaster at work has been averted.” It was Jake’s turn to change the subject. Which she was grateful of. That kind of talk usually ended up in dangerous territory and she did not want to go there today.

“Harry, my assistant, messed up. Big time. I am surprised I didn’t kill him.”

“Very restraint of you.” He applauded.

“Technically it wasn’t Harry’s fault. I should have overseen the auction myself. I knew he wasn’t really ready.”

“But you were busy and that is, after all, why you hired him in the first place.” Jake said.

“Yes. But still…”

“He fixed it now though?”

“Yes. All done and dusted. He managed to get me out of the pickle that he got me into.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Of course now I have gotten Harry into a bit of a pickle myself. And now I have to try and get him out of it.” Yes, what was she going to do about that predicament? She sighed, it wasn’t going to be as easy to fix that particular problem.

“What pickle did you get poor Harry into?” Jake asked.

“I…” she stopped realising her error. “It doesn’t matter. I just have to get him out of it somehow. Before he gets himself into a lot of trouble.”

“He hasn’t already got himself into a lot of trouble?” he asked her.

“Well yes, just more trouble than he had already got into. It’s not his fault after all, it’s mine. Poor Harry is reaping the rewards for my actions and I hate that.”

“He chose to go along with it. He didn’t have to.” Jake pointed out. “He could have said no. He could have come clean on his own.”

And, if she had been really listening to what Jake had just said then alarm bells would have been ringing in her head. But she wasn’t. She had switched her brain off and was just enjoying chatting to Jake as though they were friends.

“He felt obligated I guess. I did kind of spring it on him.”

“And he didn’t have time to think it through.” Jake continued.

“Yeah. I think had he had a few minutes he wouldn’t have done it. I think if I had had a few minutes I wouldn’t have done it.” She admitted.

“It can be fixed. Just a couple of words and it’s done.” Jake invited.

“I guess.” She shrugged. “Enough about work. I really don’t want to think about it.”

“Okay, so let’s not think about work. Let’s not think about your assistant Harry nursing a black eye. Let’s go get some lunch I am starved.” And he started pulling her along so that she did not have time to think about what he had just said.

If she had thought about it, her first question would have been. How did he know Harry had a black eye?

Lunch was in a small out of the way café that was nestled in a nook surrounded by old beech trees. Their parents used to bring them here every Saturday afternoon after a morning of walking round the lake which usually consisted of a game of tag between Amanda and Jake.

She smiled wistfully at the sudden memory of running in and out of the trees, trying to stop Jake reaching her. But he always managed to tag her and then she had spent most of the time running around trying to catch him.

Finally, he would let her catch him. And she was aware that she only ever caught him because he let her. He was always a much faster runner than she.

Stepping into the warm café was like walking back in time. Nothing had changed. The same wallpaper on the walls. The same mahogany effect wooden panels on the bottom half of the walls. The counters with it array of cakes and pastries on crystal trays and covered with large lift up glass domes.

The floor still had the original black and white tiles and the tables still had the crisp white linen on them.

Jake ordered something to eat and coffee and they had eaten as they sat in the corner, the same table they used to sit at when mum and dad was with them.

Amanda watched Jake now as he finished his coffee. He looked relaxed and happy. He looked at ease, at peace. He looked up then and looked at her. He leaned forward on his elbows and flashed her a big boyish grin. All white teeth and sparkling eyes. She felt herself blush and he chuckled, his grin widening.

“So why don’t you tell me why you went into the antiques business. I would never have had you pegged for that.”

“You thought I would end up serving in a fast food place.” She jibbed.

“No.”

“A teacher.” She moaned.

“Definitely not. You don’t have the patience.”

“Thanks.”

“True though.”

“Yeah.” She pulled a face. “You’re right.”

“So why antiques?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I kind of fell into it by accident.”

“Tell me.” He invited.

“I had been moving about for a while. I’d just done a stint sleeping in a sheltered bus stop in Hampshire.”

“How did you get to Hampshire?”

“Hitch hiked.”

“You hitch hiked. You slept in bus shelters.” She looked up at Jake and saw the appalled look on his face.

“Bus shelters, farmer’s field, park benches. Motorway underpasses.”

“You would have rather put yourself through that than come home?”  He sounded very hurt.

“Are you gonna let me explain?” she asked him and he nodded and clenched his jaw. “So I was bouncing around for a while and I managed to get a cash in hand job. There was an antiques store close by to where I was working and I used to go in there in my lunch break. The older gentleman offered me a job and started teaching me and then things kind of settled for me after that.” She shrugged and took a sip of the coffee. “There were times. When things got really bad that I toyed with the idea of coming back.  You have no idea how many times I picked up the phone to call. But I put it back. Once I even managed to dial half the number before I chickened out.” She told him honestly.

“Why didn’t you? You must have known that you would have been welcomed back. That I would have jumped in the car and come and got you no matter where you were.” She stared down into her empty cup and rested her chin in the palm of her hand.

“I know.” She said. That was the problem. She hadn’t wanted Jake to come and get her in his overbearing arrogant way. Though now she understood that it wasn’t about him being superior and everything to do with being worried about her. Why had she not seen that before? “I guess I didn’t want to have to come back running with my tail between my legs. To have people look at you and say told you so.”

“No one would have done that.” He assured her. “Mum and Dad would have just been pleased to have you back.”

“What about you?” she asked without thinking. Her tongue unguarded and she blushed.

“You do not need to ask me that question. If you search in that heart of yours, you already know the answer.” He told her holding her gaze in his. Yes, she did.

“I didn’t come back because I couldn’t face you. I wasn’t brave enough.” There she had admitted it.

“See, now we are finally getting to the truth. Why?”

“I don’t know?” she shrugged.

“And then you have to go and spoil it with another lie.” He grumbled.

“I guess I wanted to prove you wrong.”

“Nothing has changed there. But that’s not the reason.” He told her confidently.

“Because I was scared what you would say.”

“You have never needed to fear me. But, that’s not the reason.

“What do you think the reason is?” she asked and then instantly regretted it.

“I already told you that I wasn’t going to make it easy for you. You know the answer. I know the answer. I know that you know what the answer is and I also know that you know that I know what the answer is.” He raised his eyebrows at her. He was right but she still wasn’t ready to face it.

“It’s hard for me to…” she stopped.

“Admit that you got it wrong.” He suggested. “That you have feelings for me.” He asked gently.

“Yes… no… it’s not… there isn’t… it’s just…” she stopped and wriggled uncomfortably in her chair. “It wouldn’t be the first time that I got it so horribly wrong now. Would it? I seem to make a habit of getting it wrong. In fact, I have it down to a fine art.”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it. You are here now, that is what counts.”

“The trouble is, it’s far too late.”

“It’s never too late.” He told her gently.

“It was for dad.” She reminded him.

“Dad would have died had you been here or not. You couldn’t have changed the outcome. God knows I tried. I spent a fortune in new treatments, experimental drugs. I tried everything I could. In the end it was his time and anything I did was just not enough.”

“In the car, that first night, you said.” He swore savagely under his breath.

“Forget what I said. I was angry and still in shock at seeing you after all this time. I mean I had spent years trying to find you and you just show up. It took me time to realise that you were actually standing there and not a figment of my imagi-nation.
Tell me something. If we hadn’t bumped into each other that night, would you have come to see mum?” he paused briefly then added in a softer tone. “Would you have come to see me?” he toyed absently with his coffee cup and she watched his fingers, captivated by their strength, their gentleness. She wanted desperately to be that coffee cup. She felt the heat infuse her face and she heard Jake laugh. She brought her eyes back up to his and his sparkled at her.

“I was planning to eventually. I was working myself up to it. I wasn’t sure of the reception.” She shrugged a shoulder.

“What were you afraid of?”

“You.” She said.

“Are you really scared of me?” He asked her and she could hear the hurt in his voice.

“I don’t fear you. I fear…” The feelings I feel for you. The way you make me feel. I fear telling you I love you. That was what she was going to say but she stopped, not wishing to say them out loud.

“It has always been intense between us. Hasn’t it?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Have you finished?” He was giving her a reprieve and she gratefully took it. He motioned towards her empty plate and she nodded. “Let’s go. We can take a slow walk back to the car.”

Jake got up and was by her side in a second. He helped her to her feet. She could feel the heat of his hand at her elbow and for a moment she just stared up at him.

The café fell away. Everything fell away except Jake. He reached up a hand and brushed her hair from her face. She felt her cheeks glow. Jake smiled down at her and she smiled back. Then he was pulling her to the door and outside. “Come on slow coach. We’ll never get back to the car at this pace.”

Outside she fell into step beside him and they ambled along back in the direction they had come from. Back towards the car park on the other side of the Lake.