Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel (27 page)

“I can let you in, Eva. I’m trying. But your first response when I screw up is to run away. You do it every time and I can’t stand feeling like any moment I’m going to do or say something wrong and you’re going to bolt.”

His mouth was tender again as he brushed his lips back and forth over mine. I didn’t argue with him. How could I, when he was right?

“I hoped you’d come back on your own,” he murmured, “but I can’t stay away anymore. I’ll carry you out of here if I have to. Whatever it takes to get you back in the same room with me, talking this out.”

My heart stuttered. “You were hoping I’d come back? I thought…You gave me back my keys. I thought we were over.”

He pulled back, his face set in fierce lines. “We’ll
never
be over, Eva.”

I looked at him, my heart aching like an open wound at how beautiful he was, how broken and in pain he was—pain I’d caused to some degree.

On tiptoes, I kissed the reddened handprint I’d left on his cheek, clutching his thick silky hair in my hands.

Gideon bent his knees to align our bodies, his breathing harsh and erratic. “I’ll do whatever you want, whatever you need. Anything. Just take me back.”

Maybe I should have been scared by the depth of his need, but I felt the same passionate insanity for him.

Running my hands down his chest in an effort to soothe his trembling, I gave him the hard truth. “We can’t seem to stop making each other miserable. I can’t keep doing this to you and I can’t keep going through these crazy highs and lows. We need help, Gideon. We’re seriously dysfunctional.”

“I saw Dr. Petersen on Friday. He’s going to take me on as a patient, and—if you agree—he’ll take us both on as a couple. I figured if you can trust him, I can try.”

“Dr. Petersen?” I remembered the brief jolt I’d felt at seeing a black Bentley SUV when Clancy pulled away from the doctor’s office. At the time, I’d told myself it was wishful thinking. After all, there were countless black SUVs in New York. “You had me followed.”

His chest expanded on a deep breath. He didn’t deny it.

I bit back my anger. I could only imagine how terrible it must be for him to be so dependent on something—
someone
—he couldn’t control. What mattered most at that moment were his willingness to try and the fact that it wasn’t just talk. He’d actually taken steps. “It’s going to be a lot of work, Gideon,” I warned him.

“I’m not afraid of work.” He was touching me restlessly, his hands sliding over my thighs and buttocks as if caressing my bare skin was as necessary to him as breathing. “I’m only afraid of losing you.”

I pressed my cheek to his. We completed each other. Even now, as his hands roamed possessively over me, I felt a thawing in my soul, the desperate relief of being held—finally—by the man who understood and satisfied my deepest, most intimate desires.

“I need you.” His mouth was sliding over my cheek and down my throat. “I need to be inside you…”

“
No.
My God. Not here.” But my protest sounded weak even to my own ears. I wanted him anywhere, anytime, any way…

“It has to be here,” he muttered, dropping to his knees. “It has to be now.”

He chafed my skin ripping the lace of my panties away; then he shoved my skirts to my waist and licked my cleft, his tongue parting my folds to stroke over my throbbing clit.

I gasped and tried to recoil, but there was nowhere to go. Not with the door at my back and a grimly determined Gideon in front, one hand keeping me pinned while the other lifted my left leg over his shoulder, opening me to his ardent mouth.

My head thudded against the glass, heat pulsing through my blood from the point where his tongue was driving me mad. My leg flexed against his back, urging him closer, my hands cupping his head to hold him still as I rocked into him. Feeling the rough satin strands of his hair against my sensitive inner thighs was its own provocation, heightening my awareness of everything around me…

We were in Gideon’s parents’ house, in the midst of a party attended by dozens of famous people, and he was on his knees, growling his hunger as he licked and sucked my slick, aching cleft. He knew just how to get to me, knew what I liked and needed. He had an understanding of my nature that went above and beyond his incredible oral skills. The combination was devastating and addicting.

My body shook, my eyelids heavy from the illicit pleasure. “Gideon…You make me come so hard.”

His tongue rubbed over and over the clenching entrance to my body, teasing me, making me grind shamelessly into his working mouth. His hands cupped my bare butt, kneading, urging me onto his tongue as he thrust it inside me. There was reverence in the greedy way he enjoyed me, the unmistakable sense that he worshipped my body, that pleasuring it and taking pleasure from it was as vital to him as the blood in his veins.

“Yes,” I hissed, feeling the orgasm building. I was buzzed by champagne and the heated scent of Gideon’s skin mixed with my own arousal. My breasts strained within the increasingly too-tight confines of my strapless bra, my body trembling on the edge of a desperately needed orgasm. “I’m so close.”

A movement on the far side of the room caught my eye and I froze, my gaze locking with Magdalene’s. She stood just inside the door, halted midstride, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the back of Gideon’s moving head.

But he was either oblivious or too impassioned to care. His lips circled my clit and his cheeks hallowed. Sucking rhythmically, he massaged the hypersensitive knot with the tip of his tongue.

Everything tightened viciously, then released in a fiery burst of pleasure.

The orgasm poured through me in a scorching wave. I cried out, pumping my hips mindlessly into his mouth, lost to the primal connection between us. Gideon held me up as my knees weakened, tonguing my quivering flesh until the last tremor faded.

When I opened my eyes again, our audience of one had fled.

Standing in a rush, Gideon picked me up and carried me to the couch. He dropped me lengthwise on the cushion; then hauled my hips up to rest on the armrest, arching my spine.

I eyed him up the length of my torso. Why not just fold me over and fuck me from behind?

Then he ripped open his button-fly and pulled his big, beautiful penis out, and I didn’t care how he took me just so long as he did. I whimpered as he shoved into me, my body struggling to accommodate the wonderful fullness I craved. Yanking my hips to meet his powerful thrusts, Gideon battered my tender sex with that brutally thick column of rigid flesh, his gaze dark and possessive, his breath leaving him in primitive grunts every time he hit the end of me.

A trembling moan left me, the friction of his drives stirring my never-sated need to be fucked senseless by him. Only him.

A handful of strokes and his head fell back as he gasped my name, his hips rolling to stir me into a frenzy. “Squeeze me, Eva. Squeeze my dick.”

When I complied, the ragged sound he made was so erotic my sex trembled in appreciation. “Yeah, angel…just like that.”

I tightened around him and he cursed. His gaze found mine, the stunning blue hazed with sexual euphoria. A convulsive shudder wracked his powerful frame, followed by an agonized sound of ecstasy. His cock jerked inside me, once, twice, and then he was coming long and hard, spurting hotly into the clutching depths of my body.

I didn’t have time to climax again, but it didn’t matter. I watched him with awe and pure female triumph.
I
could do this to
him
.

In the moments of orgasm, I owned him as completely as he owned me.

 

G
ideon folded over me, his hair falling forward to tickle my chest, his lungs heaving. “God. I can’t go days without this. Even the hours at work are too long.”

I ran my fingers through the sweat-damp roots of his hair. “I missed you, too.”

He nuzzled my breasts. “When you’re not with me, I feel—Don’t run anymore, Eva. I can’t take it.”

He pulled me up to stand in front of him, keeping his cock in me until the soles of my heels touched the hardwood floor. “Come home with me now.”

“I can’t leave Cary.”

“Then we’ll drag him out of here with us. Shh…Before you complain, whatever he hopes to get out of this party, I can make happen. Being here accomplishes nothing.”

“Maybe he’s having fun.”

“I don’t want you here.” He suddenly seemed distant, his tone far too controlled.

“Do you know how badly it hurts me when you say that?” I cried softly, my chest tight with the pain of it. “What’s wrong with me that you don’t want me around your family?”

“Angel, no.” He hugged me, his hands roaming my back in soothing caresses. “There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s this place. I don’t—I
can’t
be here. You want to know what’s in my dreams? It’s this house.”

“Oh.” My stomach knotted with worry and confusion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Something in my voice lured him to press a kiss between my eyebrows. “I’ve been rough with you today. I’m sorry. I’m edgy and agitated being here, but that’s no excuse.”

I cupped his face and stared into his eyes, seeing the tumultuous emotions he was so used to hiding. “Don’t ever apologize for being yourself with me. It’s what I want. I want to be your safe place, Gideon.”

“You are. You don’t know how much, but I’ll find a way to tell you.” He rested his forehead against mine. “Let’s go home. I bought some things for you.”

“Oh? I love gifts.” Especially when they came from my self-professed unromantic boyfriend.

Cautiously, he began to pull out of me. I was shocked to feel how wet I was, how copiously he’d come. The final few inches of his cock slid out in a rush and semen slicked my inner thighs. A moment later, two audacious droplets fell to the hardwood floor between my spread legs.

“Oh, shit.” He groaned. “That’s so damn hot. I’m getting hard again.”

I stared at the brazen display of his virility and felt warm. “You can’t go again after
that
.”

“Hell if I can’t.” Cupping my sex in his hand, he rubbed the slickness all over me, coating the outer lips and massaging it into the folds. Euphoria spread through me like the warmth of fine liquor, a sense of contentment that came solely from the knowledge that Gideon found gratification in me and my body.

“I’m an animal with you,” he murmured. “I want to mark you. I want to possess you so completely there’s no separation between us.”

My hips began to move in tiny circles as his words and touch reignited the desire he’d goaded with the thrusts of his cock. I wanted to come again, knew I’d be miserable if I had to wait until we reached his bed. I was a sexual creature with him, too, so physically attuned to him and so positive that he would never physically hurt me, that I was…free.

I encircled his wrist with my fingers and gently directed his hand around my hip to reach for me from behind. Nipping his jaw with my teeth, I gathered the courage he inspired in me and whispered, “Touch me here with your fingers. Mark me there.”

He froze, his chest lifting and falling rapidly. “I don’t”—his voice strengthened—“I don’t do anal play, Eva.”

Looking into his eyes, I saw something dark and volatile. Something very painful.

Of all the things for us to have in common…

The raw passion of our lust gentled into the warm familiarity of love. With my heart breaking, I confessed, “I don’t either. At least not voluntarily.”

“Then…why?” The confusion in his voice moved me deeply.

I hugged him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and listening to the slightly panicked beat of his heart. “Because I believe your touch can erase Nathan’s.”

“Oh, Eva.” His cheek pressed to the crown of my head.

I snuggled closer. “You make me feel safe.”

We held each other for long moments. I listened to his heartbeat slow and his breathing smooth out. I inhaled deeply, relishing the mix of his personal scent mixed with the scent of hard lust and harder sex.

When the tip of his middle finger slid gossamer-soft over the pucker of my anus, I stilled and pulled back to look at him. “Gideon?”

“Why me?” he asked softly, his beautiful eyes dark and stormy. “You know I’m fucked up, Eva. You saw what I…that night you woke me…You
saw,
damn it. How can you trust me with your body this way?”

“I trust my heart and what it tells me.” I smoothed the frown line between his brows. “You can give my body back to me, Gideon. I believe you’re the only one who can.”

His eyes closed and his damp forehead touched mine. “Do you have a safeword, Eva?”

Startled, I pulled back again to study his face. A few members of my therapy group had talked about Dom/sub relationships. Some required total control to feel safe during sex. Others fell on the opposite side of the line, finding that bondage and humiliation satisfied their deep-seated need to feel pain to experience pleasure. For those who practiced that lifestyle, a safeword was an unambiguous way to say “stop.” But I couldn’t see how that had any relevance to me and Gideon. “Do you?”

“I don’t need one.” Between my legs, the gentle stroke of his finger became less tentative. He repeated his question, “Do you have a safeword?”

“No. I’ve never needed one. Missionary, doggy style, B.O.B…. that’s about the extent of my mad skills in the sack.”

That brought a touch of amusement to his otherwise severe face. “Thank God. I wouldn’t survive you otherwise.”

And still that fingertip massaged me, spurring a dark yearning. Gideon could do that to me, make me forget everything that happened before. I had no negative sexual triggers with him, no hesitation or fears. He’d given that to me. In return, I wanted to give him the body he’d freed from my past.

The long case clock near the door began to chime the hour.

“Gideon, we’ve been gone a long time. Someone will come looking for us.”

He put the slightest pressure against my sensitive rosette, barely pressing. “Do you really care if they do?”

My hips arched into the touch. Anticipation was making me hot all over again. “I don’t care about anything but you when you’re touching me.”

His free hand lifted to my hair and held it at the roots, keeping my head still. “Did you ever enjoy anal play? Accidentally or by deliberation?”

“No.”

“And yet you trust me enough to ask me for this.” He kissed my forehead as he drew the slickness of his semen back to my rear.

I gripped his waistband. “You don’t have to—”

“Yes, I do.” His voice had that wickedly assertive bite to it. “If you crave something, I’ll be the one to give it to you. All of your needs, Eva, are mine to fulfill. Whatever it costs me.”

“Thank you, Gideon.” My hips shifted restlessly as he continued to lubricate me gently. “I want to be what you need, too.”

“I’ve told you what I need, Eva—control.” He brushed his parted lips back and forth over mine. “You’re asking me to lead you back into painful places and I will, if that’s what you need. But we have to be extremely careful.”

“I know.”

“Trust is hard for both of us. If we break it, we could lose everything. Think of a word you associate with power.
Your
safeword, angel. Choose it.”

The pressure of that single fingertip became more insistent. I moaned, “Crossfire.”

“Umm…I like it. Very fitting.” His tongue dipped into my mouth, barely touching mine before retreating. His finger rimmed my anus over and over, pushing his semen into the puckered hole, a soft growl escaping him as it flexed in a silent plea for more.

The next time he pressed against the ring, I pushed out and he slipped his fingertip inside me. The feeling of penetration was shockingly intense.

Just as before, surrender weighted my body, leaving me languid.

“Are you okay?” Gideon asked harshly as I sagged against him. “Should I stop?”

“No…Don’t stop.”

He pushed fractionally deeper and I clenched around him, a helpless reaction to the feel of something gliding across tender tissues. “You’re snug and scorching hot,” he murmured. “And so soft. Does it hurt?”

“No. Please. More.”

Gideon withdrew to his fingertip; then slid in to the knuckle, slow and easy. I quivered in delight, astonished by how good it felt, that teasing bit of fullness in my rear.

“How’s that?” he asked hoarsely.

“Good. Everything you do to me feels good.”

He withdrew again, glided deep again. Leaning forward, I thrust my hips back to give him easier access and pressed my breasts against his chest. His fist in my hair tightened, pulling my head back so he could take my mouth in a lush, wet kiss. Our open mouths slid across each other, growing more frantic as my arousal built. The feel of Gideon’s finger in that darkly sexual place, thrusting in that gentle rhythm, had me rocking backward to meet his inward drives.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice infinitely gentle. “I love making you feel good. Love watching an orgasm move through your body.”

“Gideon.” I was lost, drowning in the powerful joy of being held by him, loved by him. Four days alone had taught me how miserable I’d be if we couldn’t work things out, how dull and colorless my world would be without him in it. “I need you.”

“I know.” He licked across my lips, making my head spin. “I’m here. Your cunt’s trembling and tightening. You’re going to come for me again.”

With shaking hands, I reached between us for his cock, finding it hard. I lifted the layers of my underskirts so I could insert him into my drenched sex. He slid in a few inches, our standing positions preventing deeper penetration, but the connection alone was enough. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck as my knees weakened. His hand left my hair, his arm clasping my back and holding me close.

“Eva.” The tempo of his finger thrusts quickened. “Do you know what you do to me?”

His hips nudged against mine, the wide crest of his penis massaging a sweetly tender spot. “You’re milking the head of my dick with those hungry little squeezes. You’re going to make me come for you. When you go off, I’m going with you.”

I was distantly aware of the helpless noises spilling from my throat. My senses were overloaded by Gideon’s scent and the heat of his hard body, the feel of his cock rubbing inside me and his finger pumping into my rear. I was surrounded by him, filled with him, blissfully possessed in every way. A climax was building in force, pounding through me, pooling in my core. Not just from the physical pleasure but from the knowledge that he’d been willing to take a risk. Once again. For me.

His finger stilled and I made a sound of protest.

“Hush,” he whispered. “Someone’s coming.”

“Oh God! Magdalene came in earlier and saw us. What if she told—”

“Don’t move.” Gideon didn’t let me go. He stood just as he was, filling me front and back, his hand caressing the length of my spine and smoothing my dress down. “Your skirts hide everything.”

With my back to the room’s entrance, I pressed my flaming face into his shirt.

The door opened. There was a pause then, “Is everything all right?”

Christopher.
I felt awkward being unable to turn around.

“Of course,” Gideon said smoothly, coolly in control. “What do you want?”

To my horror, he resumed the push and withdrawal of his finger. Not with the deep strokes of before, but slow shallow thrusts that didn’t disturb my skirts. Already aroused to a fever pitch and hovering on the verge of orgasm, my nails dug into his neck. The tension in my body from having Christopher in the room only ramped up the erotic sensations.

“Eva?” Christopher asked.

I swallowed hard. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”