Ballad (Rockstar #5) (19 page)

“It’s about time,” I say with a sniffle.

He nods at me but doesn’t say a word, just reaches out and wipes a stray tear rolling down my cheek.

“No more tears. Not because of me.”

I suck in a breath. “You can’t promise that, Ben. There’ll be times we may argue or unintentionally hurt one another. It’s human nature.”

“I suppose that’s so, but I’m going to try my damnedest to keep that smile in place.”

“Okay. No more stubborn Ben.”

“Nope, his dumb ass is gone,” he says and I snicker.

“I wasted too much time, honey, and I want every minute we’ve got from here on out to matter.”

“Every second with you matters,” I admit. “I’m so afraid time won’t be our friend—”

He cuts me off with a finger to my lips.

“None of that. We take each day as it comes, okay? We’ll do our worrying later.”

I nod and he leans forward, pressing his lips against mine, just a gentle pressure and a caress of breath, but it’s enough to have my heart fluttering and my body responding, wanting more.

“Let’s spoon,” he tells me between soft, quick kisses, “before I can’t control myself.”

I wouldn’t mind him losing control. I don’t care if everyone on the bus can hear. If he’d touch me, I’d melt into his arms.

He urges me to turn and I can’t bite back the sigh of disappointment. Ben pulls my back to his chest, my hips back against his and, holy Hannah, he’s hard. Then he wraps his leg between mine, his arms holding me tight, so tight, his breath wafting against my ear, causing my nipples to pucker in arousal. Damn traitorous nipples, I think as his arm moves down, over my breasts, his soft groan of approval in my ear as he discovers the hard points.

“Honey, I want nothing more than to take you right here, right now, but I’m not going to. Do you know why?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No.”

His hand lazily moves up and down my thigh. Gah. He’s making me wet. Traitorous body!

“It’s because I want to be able to take my time and savor every inch of you, touching, tasting, kissing you from head to toe. And when I’m done, I’m going to make you mine, but I’m sure as hell not going to make something special into something cheap by fucking you in a narrow bunk on a tour bus where everyone can hear you. Not our first time. You deserve so much more than that and I’m going to give it to you.”

I sniffle, unable to stop the tears. “Who knew you were such a romantic?”

He chuckles. “I’m not really. I just want to give you everything you deserve. I want our first time to be perfect, something you’ll always look back at and never regret.”

“Ben,” I whisper. “I would never regret it. No matter where, when, or how.”

“I’d be ashamed of myself if it was less than that. You’re like a princess.”

I snort at that. “I come from a foster home. That’s far from royalty.”

“Don’t talk like that. I don’t care where you come from, Nicole. I just care where you go from here and if you take me with you. You’re special, unique, and you don’t even realize it,” Ben tells me, kissing my neck.

“Ben…” I want so badly to tell him I love him. But I don’t. I’m afraid. I’m a coward when it comes to him. I can face down cancer, but Ben Kingston? Pussy girl right here.

“Yeah, honey?”

I just shake my head and bite my lip. I can’t hold back the yawn.

“Aww, my sleepy baby. Let’s get some sleep,” he whispers.

I snuggle back into him. He’s so warm, so big, so mine. I close my eyes and smile.
Mine.

Sera catches up to me the next morning on one of our fueling stops.

“Coley, my girl.”

I smirk. “Sera.”

“How was your first night with Benny?” she asks with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

I smile and blush. “It was good.”

“Yeah? He didn’t take advantage of you, did he?” she asks, frowning.

“No, no. We just slept.”

She nods. “Good. He better treat you right.”

I don’t know what to say so I don’t say anything.

Sera looks around. “Misty tried to come on to Ben yesterday and we caught her. We let her know we knew she wasn’t who she said she was and gave her until the day after we get settled in New York to get picked up by her sister and brother-in-law or she was out on the curb.”

“Holy Hannah.” I don’t know what I was expecting, but that’s not it.

“We didn’t tell her we knew
more
.” She emphasizes the word more so she doesn’t have to elaborate.

I nod. “Okay.”

“We’re going to work that out when her fam gets here and we’re in a secure location,” Sera says with a distant look in her eye.

“Oh boy.” I gulp.

“It won’t be pretty and she won’t be back, so we won’t have to worry about her again.”

Holy Hannah the Russos mean business.

“What about the others?”

“They won’t be a problem anymore either.”

I meet her gaze and see a blankness that usually isn’t there. Cage walks up and her whole expression changes when he puts his hand on her lower back.

“Fee. Nicole,” he says by way of greeting.

“Morning Cage.”

“Everything all right?” he asks, not to me but to Sera, who’s turned into his embrace. She pulls back and meets his gaze.

“Just fine, why?”

“There’s more…”

“More?” she asks, her posture going rigid.

“Yes, and we need to talk with Damian and the others.”

Sera’s face goes hard. “Do I want to ask?”

He shakes his head.

“Shit,” she mutters. “I have to…” she says, waving a hand at Cage.

“Go, go. Don’t even worry about me.”

“Lady bug, I’m always going to worry about you. Just not as much now that you’ve got Ben,” she tells me as she hugs me. Then in a blink they’re gone.

Something’s going down. Something very, very bad.

W
E STEP ONTO
the bus and Damian, Ernesto, and a few others from the Famiglia crew are there.

“Tell me,” I say before I even sit down.

Ernesto shakes his head.

Damian sighs. “They took one of Jesse’s sisters.”

I stand immediately. “What? Who? How?” Fear, anger, dread fill me.

“Jeni’s safe at Lucy’s house, but Jana went rogue. She went home, to her house. We had eyes on her but not enough. They grabbed her at a mall and there hasn’t been any sign of her since,” Damian tells me.

“Oh God,” I say, rubbing my hands over my face. “Jesse… Lucy,” I murmur.

“We don’t know—” Ernesto starts.

“Don’t bullshit me, Nesto. You know as well as I do, the Manzinis take no prisoners. They just leave bodies,” I state.

He nods grimly.

“There’s no way to find her before it’s too late?” I ask, looking to Cage.

He looks at me and I can see the sadness and anger in the depths of his gaze. “It’s already too late.”

“How long have they had her?”

“Since yesterday,” Ernesto replies.

“And by the time we find her…” Damian trails off.

“She’ll already be dead.” Shit. Oh God, oh God, oh God, what this is going to do to my sister and brother is going to be nothing short of absolute carnage. “I’m going to kill a motherfucker,” I state as I pound my fist on the table.

Damian’s eyebrows raise.

“I can swear if I want to,” I tell him.

“And you do, just usually not that harsh.”

“There’s a time and place for everything.”

“True enough,” he mutters and I turn it off. All feeling. All anger. All emotion. Only purpose fuels me right now.

I walk over to where Misty is sitting tied to a chair. She meets my gaze and smirks. I turn to Cage and he ever-so-slightly inclines his head. If you weren’t looking closely, you’d miss his approval.

“You got something to smirk about, Misty?” I ask.

She snorts. “You’re going to let me go or that bitch is dead.”

I snort back. “
Bitch,
whether I let you go or not, she’s dead and so are
you.
”

Her face pales. “My brother-in-law, he’ll have information…”

“Which we’ll get from him…and your sister.”

Her eyes widen.

“And when we’re satisfied we got everything we need, they’re going to end up in the body bag right alongside you,” I tell her, leaning down to look her square in the eyes, almost nose-to-nose.

She gasps. “You can’t—”

“Oh, I can and I will.” I hold my hand out to Damian who, again, lifts a brow, but doesn’t miss a beat as he passes over his pocketknife.

I open it, testing the blade against my thumb even though I know it’s sharp enough to cut through bone.

I whistle and wink at Damian, who winks back.

“Fuck,” Ernesto mutters and Misty flinches.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you yet,” I tell her, walking back in front of her. I sit on a chair across from her. The look of relief on her face is short lived when I tell her, “Besides, there are much worse things than death.”

“Please—” she pleads.

I run the tip of the blade down her bare thigh, her mini skirt barely covering her panties. When it doesn’t puncture her skin, she relaxes just a bit, and it’s that bit that reminds me that she smirked at me.

Taking the blade in my left hand, I point at her. “You smirked at me.”

“I didn’t,” she says, shaking her head frantically.

“You did. You smirked at me about Jana and I gotta tell you, Misty, that pisses me right off. Pissing me off isn’t a good thing, just ask these guys,” I say, pointing to the table behind me.

They don’t say anything, just look on.

Misty shakes her head, tears free falling down her cheeks.

“Do you think your tears matter to me?”

“Please—”

“They don’t matter to me and neither does your pleading, so save it. Do you think tears and pleading are going to make a difference to Jana, wherever she is?” I ask, moving the blade closer to her arm.

“I—I don’t—” she stutters.

“They won’t. Nothing is going to matter and you had a hand in this. I don’t know how, but I’ll find out, and I’m going to kill you for it. It won’t be a quick mercy killing either.” I stick the blade in her upper arm just enough to make it bleed and she cries out. “You think this hurts?”

I get up from my chair and walk around hers, standing behind her. I grip her hair and with a swipe of the knife, I shear it off.

“I heard you making fun of Coley for not having hair. You think it’s funny, the fact that she struggled with an illness that nearly killed her? It’s a fucking miracle she’s still breathing!” I shout, then plunge the knife into her shoulder, before deftly pulling it back out, wiping the blade clean against her shirt. Misty lets out a scream that echoes throughout the bus.

“Sit real still,” I warn, then run the blade along Misty’s scalp, dry shaving her hair off, leaving her bald. When I finish her entire head, I walk in front of her and push her head back with my hand against her forehead.

When I lean in, she flinches.

“I’d be very still if I were you,” Cage warns, knowing I don’t want to maim her just yet. She does as he suggests and I shave her eyebrows off.

“There. Now you have no hair either.” Misty hangs her head. “It makes you feel exposed, vulnerable, even weak, doesn’t it?” I ask. “Imagine how you’d feel if you were sick, so sick you couldn’t walk or go to the bathroom by yourself,
and
bald. Just imagine the humility that takes. The courage. The strength. To go on every day and fight for your life, all the while they’re pumping poison through your veins to try to save you—” I shake my head. “And Coley fought like a champion all while she was in foster care. That makes her a hero. That makes her
my
hero. And you? That makes you a shallow bitch.” I emphasize the word bitch with a stab of the blade to her other shoulder. I pull it back out, not even hearing her cries and wails anymore. I hear nothing but I do feel something. I feel the need for justice.