Bait: A dark erotic thriller (Hunter & Prey Book 2) (27 page)

It was on Friday morning, almost exactly a week after that event that had kicked off that latest downward spiral when I returned from my morning swim to find a letter waiting for me. It didn’t look like an invitation, and I frowned at the slightly smudged, handwritten scrawl of my name and residence. When I sliced it open and fished out a stack of lined papers torn off a legal pad, it only took me a moment to realize that the letter was from Adam.

That I really hadn’t seen coming.

I considered shredding it without reading it first. Then I considered reading it, then shredding it. In the end, I sat down with my morning fruit bowl and a cup of steaming coffee and slogged my way through line after line.

It took even more deliberating whether to call the number he had included at the very end, and I felt like I was dooming myself when I did. He picked up on the first ring.

“Penelope?”

I couldn’t help but snort. “Does anyone else have the number to your burner phone?”

He answered with a throaty chuckle that was so achingly familiar that I wished I hadn’t called.

“Course not.” He paused. “Can we meet? Please? I don’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Because this line is tapped?” I guessed.

“Likely by more parties than you think exist,” he offered. “That’s why I wrote you the letter in the first place.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I admitted.

“Please,” he continued to plead with me. “For old times’ sake, okay? Do that one last thing for me?”

“You mean before they throw you into a deep, dark hole? Or because I couldn’t come through with rescuing you?”

His silence was answer enough, but at least he tried to keep his voice clear of scorn as he replied. “Just one more time, okay?”

“Can you even go outside to meet somewhere? With or without a tail?”

Another heavy silence followed. “Things have changed since—“

“Since you started fucking Eva?” I ventured a guess.

I heard him mutter a low curse, but he replied nevertheless. “Do you even care?”

“I’m your friend, Adam. Of course I care. And even if I can’t stand the woman doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy. If she’s the real deal—”

“You know that she’s not,” he said—and that statement was enough to make me run cold. I couldn’t explain why, but something about how he said it just rubbed me the wrong way. That reaction was saying a lot, considering what else I was more than ready to ignore—but then again, that was likely just my latent guilt talking.

“When do you wanna meet?”

“Today, if you’re free,” he proposed. “Milton Lee Olive park.”

Fact was, I had nothing better to do, and I owed him a last, personal goodbye. I was well aware of what this was supposed to be—what he thought was his last chance to persuade me to ditch Darren once and for all—but I owed him that, too. He had been there for me when I really needed him, and he had never asked for anything in return. The least I could do was give him the chance to spit in my face. Last time on the terrace with the entire team barely out of earshot just hadn’t done the trick.

I hung up after we settled on a time and exact location, leaving me anxious with too much time on my hands.

I knew that this wasn’t an occasion that required a special outfit or even makeup, but I felt kind of obliged to doll myself up. Adam had seen me at my worst by far, but if this was the last chance we got to talk, I figured I should make it count. It was a dreary day outside, spring still weeks away from breaking winter’s hold on us, so my choices were limited. I still went with a short dress so my black, opaque tights would be visible that made my legs look great, with knee-high boots to round out the ensemble, going perfectly with my coat. I went for a classy cat-eye and red lips, and even curled my hair although half of it would be hidden underneath my cashmere cap. It was probably evil to try to look my best, enforcing what exactly it was that he could never have, but he likely didn’t expect anything else from me. Deep down I knew that to everyone except Darren I would always remain the shallow if expensive high-class hooker. It was probably that more than protection or comfort that had pulled me right back into his arms.

I was early, but Adam was already waiting for me, dressed casually in a parka, jeans, and boots. His face was slightly red, making me guess that he’d been out in the open for a while longer than me, his short, black hair standing up in disheveled spikes as usual. My heart gave a brief pang at his happy smile when his eyes fell on me. In another world, without so many things happening, we might have had a chance. But things had happened, and that was a dream that had never been my own.

“Thanks for coming,” he greeted me with. “I was afraid you’d change your mind.”

“I try not to break promises that I can keep,” I offered, wincing at how hollow the platitude sounded.
 

We hugged, and his embrace was a little too strong, going on a little too long to be strictly friendly. In turn, I felt a little less weird about patting him down, even going as far as reaching for his junk.

“That’s all me, no wires attached,” he said, trying himself at a bad joke.

“I’ll believe that only if you tell me exactly how you got out of detention,” I shot back, but kept my hands to myself now.

Adam nodded down the path leading to the waterfront, and we started walking toward where ice was still claiming parts of the lake.

“It wasn’t as hard as you may think,” he explained. “Just took a promise and some begging. With some people that still is enough.”

I wondered what that was a jab at, but did my best to ignore it. “Very well. You wanted to talk. So, talk. I’m listening.”

Rather than launch into what I expected to become the most epic of epic guilt trip speeches, he continued to look straight ahead, avoiding me. “I still can’t believe that you flipped,” he finally said, ending the silence. “Not because I think you were out to save the world. I’m not delusional. Or not that delusional. But the things that man did to you, and you go right back into his bed…”

There it was, after all. I exhaled loudly, watching my breath plume out ahead of me in the cold air.

“You don’t have to remind me of that. I live it again and again, every time I fall asleep.” It was only when I said this that I realized it had become a lie. Since killing Daliah, I had a new favorite sequence to haunt my every sleeping moment.

“How can you stand his touch?” he asked, his tone becoming more vehement. “He all but raped you. He tortured you. You know exactly what he would have done to you if you hadn’t managed to escape, because you saw them. And now you’re, what, playing house with him?”

Phrased like that, there wasn’t really anything I could say to my defense.

“Guess I’m damaged beyond repair, right?” I quipped, hugging myself.

Adam stopped and turned to me, his face scrunched up. “Don’t ever say that about yourself.” Looking at me closely, the worry in his eyes increased. “You can’t fucking believe this! Penelope, you’re a great woman! You’re smart, and you’re beautiful, and there are so many guys out there who’d do anything for you if you’d just let them…”

“You mean, you would?” I said.

Adam exhaled noisily, but the glimmer in his eyes hadn’t even taken a hit at my slightly chiding tone.

“Yes. I would. I thought I already proved that to you, but clearly, the message hasn’t sunk in enough.”

I had to look away, my heart breaking all over for him.

“Adam, it’s not that simple.”

“Why not?” he asked.

I shook my head, forcing myself to catch his gaze again. “Because I simply don’t love you. I’m sorry. I tried. But I don’t. And you deserve someone who’s so much better than me.”

Now the light shining in his eyes dimmed, but the anger that started seeping into his tone was of a different quality than I’d expected.

“Stop putting yourself down. You’re a goddess among peasants. There’s no woman out there who can hold a candle to you.”

“Not even dear Agent Smith?” I taunted.

He went rigid, but then relaxed. I really didn’t like the mood swings that were lurking behind those bright eyes. He’d always seemed so mellow and relaxed around me, the calm alpine pool I knew I could retreat to. Now he appeared almost frazzled.

“She’s a woman of many merits, but she’s only that. A woman. While you are—“

I held up a gloved hand before he could say that nonsense again.

“You need to give up on that dream. Whatever you see in me, it’s not real. I mean, sure, of course I like hearing your confidence in me. But there never was anything between us that went beyond friendship, and there never will be. That’s ultimately why I jumped at her offer when she hunted us down. To cut you free. To give you the second chance that you deserve.”

“I don’t need second chances,” he ground out, sounding vaguely pissed now.

“But don’t you want to start over?” I asked. “Move to a new city? Get a job, meet a girl, have a family? You could never have that with me. Most of all, you can never have me.”

I knew I was on the right track when he stared at me for a full ten seconds before he found the words to reply—and again, they were not what I’d expected.

“What exactly is it that I need to do to show you that I’m worthy of your love? Do you need me to sacrifice something? I gave up everything for you. Do you need me to swear my undying, everlasting love for you? You have it. What more? Do you need me to kill for you? Is it that what made you flip? That he killed that girl, for you?”

So much for hoping that there was a single normal soul left in my circle of acquaintances. I was starting to see why Brigitte preferred to keep to herself.

“Are you insane? What are you talking about?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not stupid. I can add two and two together. He didn’t call you over to that cabin to fuck you. He ordered you there so you could watch him take care of the only competition you will ever have. So you’d know just how dedicated he is to you. And then you cleaned up together and dumped her in the woods, to send the crime scene investigation team on a merry chase. That still doesn’t change the heart of the matter: he killed her, for you.”

I stared at him for several seconds straight, unsure what made me more uneasy—his assumption, or the fervent tone of his voice.

Exhaling slowly, I shook my head. “He didn’t kill her.”

Rather than get angry with me, Adam smiled. “There’s no need for you to lie to me. You know that you can always trust me. Always could. I have your back, Penelope.”

I only had a split-second to weigh my options, but it wasn’t hard to come to a decision. There weren’t many things I could still do to save what little good there was inside of me, but ridding him of that obsession he seemed to have developed with me was something that I could do—and I owed it to him. I was doomed, whether I got convicted or just had to live with my own guilt. He could still save himself.

“Adam, listen to me. Darren didn’t kill the girl. They will never get a confession out of him because he didn’t do it. He could take a polygraph, or they could pump him full of sodium pentothal, and his answer would still be the same. He didn’t kill her. I did.”

I’d hoped that the confession would at least alleviate some of the guilt choking me up, but it didn’t. It also didn’t have the expected effect on Adam. He looked neither convinced nor horrified.

“You’re lying,” he said. “You don’t need to. I told you, I don’t carry a wire. And I’m not here to report what you said back to Eva. When will you finally trust me?”

“Didn’t you listen to what I just said? I killed her! I killed a helpless, naive woman! And the only reason for that was because I was mad at her because she kept fucking my husband!”

I knew that I was talking way too loudly, but with the sun setting and the night’s cold returning, we were almost on our own out here, with the wind tearing my words from my lips as soon as they came over them. Adam still had a belligerent look on his face, so I went right on before he could accuse me of lying again.

“Don’t you see? You’ve lost. I will never love you, because I love him. You said you would do anything for me? Well, that’s how I feel about him. And he does about me, only that he sees me for who I really am. You don’t. You still think I’m like some child lost in the woods, just waiting for someone to take her hand and lead her back to safety. I’m a monster. I’m a killer. I am his perfect wife, don’t you get it? I guess it was always in me, just buried beneath all the training and hidden away, but he saw it in me. He did everything he could to bring it out. And now it’s out in the open, and I’m kind of relieved. Yes, it’s sick, and it’s twisted, but at least I don’t have to hide from the world anymore. Because I have him, and he accepts me. He loves me. You just love the version of me that you always wanted me to be. The friend with benefits, the casual lover, a promise for more when suddenly I became dependent on you. But that’s not really me. That’s not who I am. That was the role I played, for you. Because you paid me, with money, company, the possibility to let my guard down to a certain extent. True, I didn’t just do it for you but also for myself, but that version of me? She doesn’t exist anymore. She died down in that basement. Same as all the other versions of me died there, until all that was left was me. Me, who was ruthless enough to stab him in the neck. Me, desperate enough to smash her own hand to escape. Me, using you to get away clean. Only that it wasn’t enough. I need him, just like I need air to breathe and food to sustain me. There is no room for anyone else. So do you finally understand what I’ve been trying to tell you since Agent Smith found us? There is only obsession left inside of me—obsession with him. Not you. Never you.”

It creeped me the fuck out that it was those words that came up with all the rest—those words that were so similar to what Darren had been muttering when he’d had his little homicidal breakdown—but they were true. Everything I said was true.

And, finally, I saw the truth sink in as Adam realized that he could never have me. That he could never be with me. It hurt more than I liked to admit to see that special kind of betrayal and agony in his eyes, but it had to be done. It was my burden to carry. It was my obligation to cut him free.