Badgering the Bear: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Mate in a Minute Speed Mating Agency Book 1)

M
eet her mate in minutes
? Ha! Oh, wait...look at that hottie over there...

Curvy badger shifter Jolie is nagged by her best friend to check out shifter speed dating (okay, she might have lost a bet). It's pretty boring, though, until she sees...him. Gabe is big. He's burly. And just the touch of his hand on hers sets Jolie's body aflame with need.

Insecurity sends Jolie scurrying for the cover of the forest. Good thing a bear like Gabe loves a good hunt. And what Gabe wants? Gabe takes.

The Mate in a Minute Speed Dating Agency short stories deliver a happy ending before bedtime.

Legal Bits

J
olie looked
in the mirror one last time.

Hair: fluffed.

Lips: lacquered.

Eyes: smoky.

Shoes: four inches too high.

Inner badger: locked in a cage and grumbling.

She spun to face her best friend lounging on the bed and gestured at herself. “Seriously Zane? This isn’t me. Even if I do snare a mate, as soon as he sees how I live, he’ll bail.”

Her best friend, the one responsible for the face, dress and shoes (but not the badger) rolled her eyes. “I told you what would happen if you lost our bet.”

“I thought you were joking!” Jolie whined. She also reminded herself never to make a bet with her sly, conniving, foxy best friend ever again.

“Hey, remember, I didn’t make you wear the red dress.” An evil gleam lit in Zane’s eye. “And if you don’t quit bitching, it’s still sitting right there.”

Jolie glared at her friend. “No, I’m fine.”

She had tried wearing the dress for all of five minutes. It had taken thirty seconds to pull it on and four and a half minutes fighting to get it off. The terrifying red dress hugged Jolie’s curves so fiercely she thought she’d have to wear it forever.

“That dress is a freaking designer evening gown. Not appropriate for a bar.” Jolie stared down at her feet, finally confessing the real reason she fought with her friend. “It’s that…” She took a deep breath and let the rest of the words rush out. “I’m not this woman. This woman dressed to the nines—fuck no, dressed to the elevens—isn’t me.”

Zane grumbled and climbed from the bed, pulling Jolie into a hug the second she was close enough. “Honey, it’s all in fun. Very few people dress up like this on the regular. Why shouldn’t you get to enjoy it? Just because you’re down in the dirt all day doesn’t mean you can’t clean up real nice.”

“I know, I know.” She sighed. “I feel like I’m lying.” She leaned into her friend’s warm embrace, trying to quell the butterfly migration that had taken up residence in her stomach.

Zane leaned away from Jolie, her gaze intent. “If you really feel strongly about it, we can call the bet off.”

Tears pricked Jolie’s eyes. That would be giving up and Jolie Hampstead was no quitter. A whiner, maybe. But no quitter. “And let you hold that over my head the rest of my life?” she snorted. “No way! I’ll do this even if it’s the most terrible idea ever because…”

They said the line together, “At least it will make a good story.”

Zane gestured at Jolie, commanding her to spin. Jolie wasn’t going to admit to her friend as she turned that she did feel very pretty. “You look fantastic.” With one swipe of her thumb, Zane adjusted Jolie’s lipstick. “Besides, I know you’re lonely and you want a mate and family. You aren’t going to find that buried in your roses.”

“I know, but dating has never worked out so well for me. I can’t keep up appearances.” Light gleamed off the red of Jolie’s nails as she splayed them out. “There’s always dirt under my nails and torn cuticles and—”

“Well, not tonight.” Zane shot down Jolie’s complaints.

Jolie had to concede, “No, you soaked me and primped me good.” She wrinkled her nose. “But I smell like manure more days than I care to admit.”

The bed squeaked as Zane flopped down on it, sighing. “Look, the whole idea behind this is seeing if the spark happens.”

A painful twist in her chest brought Jolie back down to earth. “Not everyone gets a happily ever after, Zane, we both know that.”

The sharp snapping of Zane’s fingers punctuated her words. “Stop going down that rabbit hole. Oooh, maybe you’ll meet a nice rabbit shifter who’ll want to start a whole warren with you. Bom chicka bom bom!”

“Stop! You are so ridiculous.” But if Zane wasn’t going to let her out of this whole thing, she might as well try to concede gracefully. “How about I go and not spill anything on anyone, embarrass myself or my hopes up.”

Zane sat up abruptly and said, “How about you act like your honey badger cousins and stop giving a fuck?”

Well, there was that option, too.

J
olie sat in the car
, staring at the restaurant for fifteen minutes. She was clearly not channeling her honey badger cousins because she was still giving so many fucks. Almost uncountable fucks at that point.

“Get up and go in.” She muttered and snagged her purse. “It’s not like they’ll kick you out for being a fatty who looms over everyone.” That was a plus, right? “They’ll take your money and send you through the line. When no one matches with you they’ll say better luck next time.”

Shoulders pushed back, she got out of the car and headed in. It was so exhausting being overlooked and rejected and she’d jumped off that merry go round years ago. Even if it made having a family a mere dream instead of a reality.

“Hey there!” A chirpy blond stood in the doorway with a clipboard. “You here for the
Mate in a Minute
event?”

Do or die, time.

“Sure am!” She summoned up one of her best fake smiles. The one Zane made her practice before they met clients. “I’m Jolie. Jolie Hampstead.”

“Great Jolie! You are lucky number seven.” She handed Jolie a nametag, a piece of paper and a pen. “Have you ever participated in one of our events before?”

“No, I haven’t.” Jolie slapped the tag on her chest. Zane would kill her for ruining the lines of the dress, but Zane wasn’t there.

“It’s super easy, sit at a table and when we start, a gentleman will sit with you. All you have to do is chat until the bell dings then circle ‘yes’ if you liked them.” Miss Clipboard ushered Jolie to the table and flitted back to the door.

A waiter magically appeared beside Jolie and said, “Would you like a drink?”

She glanced around the room. The other nervous women had wine glasses in front of them. That was a very good idea. But she didn’t especially like wine.

Wait, be the honey badger. Do not give a fuck.

“What do you have on draft? Nothing too heavy.” She expected a raised eyebrow but instead she got a huge grin.

“How about a shandy? We tapped a Leinenkugal.”

Jolie could almost taste the crisp beer mix. “That sounds perfect.”

“That’s the spirit. Pint or pitcher?”

“As much as I think I’ll need the pitcher to get through this, let’s start with a pint.” Jolie knew if she got the pitcher, nerves would have her pounding it so fast they would have to pour her into a taxi.

She fiddled in her chair until a soft bell sounded and a line of men streamed into the room. If she were outdoors, Jolie would have shifted and dug a tunnel to China before having to interact with ten perfect strangers.

The first man sat in front of her.

Sandy brown hair. Kind smile. Warm brown eyes. Name tag said “Jim”.

“Hi Jim, nice to meet you.” Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“Hi Jolie.”

He extended his hand and she shook it. Decent enough grip. Wasn’t trying to prove his strength.

There was nothing wrong with Jim, but there was no spark at all. Still, at least he was able to carry a conversation for the five minutes until the bell rung.

She circled the ‘no’ even though she knew Zane would kill her. Jim might make a nice friend but there was no chance of a love connection.

As the night continued, Jolie circled ‘no’ eight more times. Aside from the one guy with the handshake entirely too much like a dead fish, there was nothing
wrong
with any of the men.

But there was also absolutely nothing right, either. Nothing at all. A sour note of despair wound around Jolie’s heart. She hadn’t really expected anything to come of Zane’s speed dating idea, but apparently there had been a teeny, tiny, little sliver of hope that maybe, despite the odds, she would find ‘the one’.

She stared at her empty beer glass as the last man settled in front of her, wishing she’d gotten the damn pitcher. Zane would have picked her up, no problem.
Just five more minutes, then you can go home.

Then, not even bothering to paste on her fake smile, Jolie looked up at the man.

And up.

And up.

Because the guy in front of her was
tall
. Even with her dangerously sky high heels he was a solid foot taller than her 5’10” frame.

Her mouth went dry when she met his eyes—hard and dangerous—a striking blue that sank right into her soul.

He quirked an eyebrow and Jolie almost moaned. Her nipples tightened and her insides quaked with forgotten, long repressed desires. Her badger sat up and begged her to get closer. If it was running things, Jolie would be in the man’s lap already.

She slowly extended her hand and whispered, “Hi, I’m Jolie.”

His eyes dropped to her hand and she realized it was shaking. Smooth. Jolie moved to withdraw it, but he was too fast and she found her hand engulfed in his. If his gaze had sparked a fire in her, then his touch was gasoline. Her badger could only pant in her ear about certain needs being met
now
.

His voice was low when he rumbled, “I’m Gabe.” Instead of releasing her, he lowered their joined hands to the table. His fingers slowly massaged her, each movement setting off yet another bonfire in her blood.

Their eyes locked again—the silence stretching—and for once Jolie didn’t feel the urge to fill the quiet. Just sitting in the warmth of his regard was enough.

When the bell rang, it startled her out of her daze. She pulled her hand back and she already missed his touch. He reached across the table, scooping up her pen and paper. She murmured a protest, but fell silent when he simply raised eyebrow.

All he’d see on her sheet was the word “no” circled nine times. Proof of how disastrously boring the rest of her night had been. He marked the page for her, stood and tossed it down.

“Nice meeting you, Jolie.” That rough voice went straight to her center and she suppressed her shudder. Barely. No man should be that hot.

She wanted to cry as he walked out of the room. He’d stolen her paper so quickly, it was obvious he hadn’t even wanted her to have the chance to say yes. She had to get the hell out of there. She could deal with not connecting with boring men. Whatever. But to finally feel that explosive spark, to feel so alive for five short minutes and then to be rejected?

Yeah, that felt like death.

She stood, tucked her purse under her arm and walked away only to have the waiter call out to her. “Hey, don’t forget to turn your form in.”

Jolie smiled and took the dreaded sheet. It was rough in her hands and like a dagger in her heart. She wanted to crumple it up and put it in the trash, but the chipper blond at the door had her hand extended and it was easier to hand it in rather than argue.

“Thanks for coming to
Mate in a Minute
! You’ll get your matches in two days!”

Jolie smiled at the woman and walked out to her car. It wasn’t until she was on the road that a tear slipped down her face. First one and then another and then another…

She consoled herself with the knowledge that she hadn’t been completely broken by her ex. She
did
have the ability to connect with another being. Even if he didn’t connect back.

At least this proved she was whole and
normal
. No matter what her stupid ex said, she could feel desire.

Could feel desire.
A nice way to spin his words. In truth, he’d called her frigid. Which was why he was very much an ex.

Jolie parked and wandered into the house. At least Zane wasn’t going to make her do a post mortem on the night until tomorrow. Her best friend had her own hot date to deal with.

Zane was never without an escort if she wanted one and her friend’s antics always amused Jolie. But her BFF was no closer to settling down than Jolie. They were both twisting in the single and alone wind.

In addition, she knew Zane’s heart as well as she knew her own. They both wanted home, hearth and family. Little kits of their own.

She kicked off the painful pumps and flexed her feet in delight. The uncomfortable tightness of the dress was even more obvious now that the immediate issue of her feet was handled.

Slipping out of the dress and spanx, Jolie sighed in relief. The jiggle was free!

As she snuggled down for the night, she could not stop thinking about Gabe. She wondered what it would be like to dance with a man so much taller and bigger than she was. How she could press her face into his chest, and listen to his heartbeat while their bodies swayed to music.