Bad News Cowboy (31 page)

But it wasn't as though she'd asked about him. As far as she knew he had ridden off one day, then ridden back. And nothing had happened in between. In some ways, he was content for people to think that, and in other ways not.

Because he had spent a hell of a lot of years trying to escape the man he'd been. And he sort of wanted people to know he had.

That was the most sobering thing about becoming an adult as far as he was concerned. Riding out of town in a rage, angry at himself, angry at his father. And later realizing that a lot of the shit that had come down on him was his own fault. Of course, the reason he'd been stirring shit up in the first place did come down to his old man.

There'd been no way of pleasing the bastard. So Jake set out to do just the opposite. But that last screw-up had been too much for either of them to overcome. That final altercation breaking bonds that had already been brittle. Shattering them beyond repair.

Cassie suddenly squeezed him tighter, and he looked to the left, spotting a new little row of businesses set back in the trees. Copper Ridge Business Park, as the sign deemed it, was new, or at least less than fifteen years old, which for a place like this meant new. It was almost laughable to call it a business park in his opinion. A row of five businesses that were all connected, and fashioned to look like little white clapboard houses. There were even roses climbing up a freaking trellis. The place was like Mayberry. Again, had he had any attachment to the town, it might've made him smile.

He slowed the motorcycle and turned in, figuring if this wasn't it, he could at least get directions from her here.

When he killed the engine, Cassie got off, tugging off the helmet and shaking out her hair. He couldn't help but admire the way the dark strands shimmered in the sunlight. Yeah, there was no doubt that, physically, at least, where Cassie was concerned he was a goner.

“Thanks.” She handed the helmet back to him.

“I take it this is the place?”

“Yeah, this is it.”

“How long is it going to take?”

“It shouldn't be long. I just have to drop this stuff off and sign a couple of things. I can get a ride home from Liss. It won't be a big deal.”

“I'll wait for you.”

“Don't you have things to do?”

“Yeah, honey, I've got a ton of things to do, but leaving you stranded here is not one of them. I'm not in any major hurry.”

“Honey, huh?”

“I'm sorry, does the endearment offend you?”

The corners of her mouth turned down. “I'm just not sure what I did to earn it.”

“Did you need to earn it?”

“Back in high school you just called me Cassie,” she said. “That worked for me.”

“Well, I can go back to calling you Cassie if you like.”

“It would be for the best.”

She turned and walked into the little building, and he crossed his arms and rocked back on his heels. Watching her walk away was not a hardship. There was no doubt that Cassie had an ass he could stare at for days. He wondered idly if she'd had that back in high school, and if he'd just been too much of an idiot to notice. More than likely, though, the years had enhanced her shape.

The Cassie he remembered had been a bit too skinny, but still cute, with large brown eyes that had looked at him like he mattered. Just another reason he'd never gone there back then. Just another reason he couldn't go there now. Hell, he was actively moving toward ruining her life. Which was no surprise, because that was pretty much what he did. Whether he meant to or not. He ruined things. He ruined people.

He could remember sitting in the library with her, studying subjects that made his head hurt, that he didn't care about. But she'd made him want to try, because she'd seemed to believe he could do it. Nobody else had had that kind of confidence in him. Not teachers, not family. And so he had tried for her. Mainly because when he got something right she didn't seem surprised. She just seemed to accept it, accept that what he was doing was simply living up to his abilities. It had been a hell of a thing for a kid who had lived most of his life feeling like everything he did fell short.

He could also remember wondering sometimes, after a word of praise had come out of her mouth, what it might be like to kiss that mouth. What it might be like to kiss a girl who saw more than his bad attitude and motorcycle. A girl who might be into him, not because he was all wrong, but because something about him was right.

He'd dismissed the thought almost immediately. Kissing a girl like her would ruin her. No doubt about it. Not because of who she was, but because of who he was.

Revisiting it now was pointless.

A part of him was afraid that his seventeen-year-old self had had a bit more restraint than his thirty-two-year-old self where she was concerned.

That was sobering.

Cassie appeared a few moments later, a smile on her face when she exited. A smile that faded slightly when she made eye contact with him. Dammit.

And dammit that he cared.

“Okay, I'm ready,” she said.

“You have any more errands you need to run?”

“Well, I was going to head over to the Farm and Garden to get some plants for the front window box at the shop. But it's not something I
need
to do today.”

“It's not a problem, I'll take you by. I'm assuming it's the same Farm and Garden that's always been here.”

“The very same.”

He knew the place well, seeing as he'd worked there. Seeing as he'd stolen from the people who owned it. Damn, he had been an asshole. There really was no two ways about it. But he had changed. And maybe it would be a good thing for him to walk in there and let them know that. He felt like he owed that to Mr. Travers.

He wanted him to know that letting a juvenile delinquent off the hook had mattered. That his kindness had amounted to something other than more arrests. Because Jake had gone on to make something of himself. No, there was no pretending he was some kind of tycoon, no pretending he was a millionaire. But he was successful, he owned a house. He was aiming to buy John's mechanic shop. He was responsible, and he had done the right thing since leaving town. It was because of people like Travers that he'd managed that.

He realized just then how grateful he was. He tried so hard not to think of Copper Ridge that he often forgot the good things that'd been hidden here, tucked away behind all the bad stuff. Like light breaking through the trees.

“Put on your helmet. Let's go,” he said.

“Are you sure?”

“Seriously, it's no problem. Unless you're afraid of the bike.”

A faint dusty rose color darkened her cheeks. “The bike was fine.”

“Good to know I didn't scar you for life.”

That earned him a smile, and it was genuine. And he felt like the sun had peeked out from behind the clouds. Dammit again.

“Come on, Cassie, let's get your flowers.”

CHAPTER FIVE

T
HE
ENTIRE
FRONT
of Cassie's body tingled. And it showed no signs of stopping. She could blame some of it on the rumble of the bike. On the vibrations of the motor moving through her for the ride out to the Farm and Garden. But intellectually she knew better. The real cause of the tingling was Jake. Was having her legs all wrapped around him, and her breasts pressed against his back while they drove through town.

Really, it wasn't fair. She hadn't had this much contact with a man in too many years and suddenly she was being pressed up against one. A hot one. One she had heard touching himself only a wall away from her just a couple days ago.

There was no way a mere mortal woman could withstand such temptation. And she was sadly a mere mortal, as she was discovering.

She dismounted the bike and took the helmet off, surprised at how comfortable she was with the whole thing already. It really wasn't all that scary. But her mother had drummed into her that motorcycles were vessels of death and if she were to ever get near one she would surely burst into flame.

But it turned out if she
were
to burst into flame it would be because of Jake, not the motorcycle.

Jake took his helmet off and followed her into the store this time rather than waiting outside.

“I thought I might get some petunias.” She realized that she was making inane conversation, and she couldn't even stop herself. If it wasn't muffins, it was flowers, and she had a feeling the guy didn't really care about either.

Well, that wasn't true. He'd had some pretty strong things to say about muffins.

“Man, I haven't been back to this place in fifteen years. Which is kind of an obvious statement,” he said looking at her, “since I haven't been back to town in that long. And you knew that.”

It appeared that Jake was making inane conversation, too. And that gratified her more than it should.

“You used to work here, didn't you?”

“Yeah, for a while. Before I screwed it up. Like I did everything else back then.”

“What happened?”

“I stole money from the register. Because I was an asshole.” He didn't make eye contact with her when he said that, his expression granite.

“Oh,” she said, feeling her heart sink. She didn't know why that bit of information disappointed her. It had happened forever ago. But for some reason, she'd never believed he was as bad as people had said. And she only realized just now that that meant she had thought he wasn't bad at all.

“Are you actually surprised?”

“Okay, I confess I am. I kind of thought your infamy was exaggerated.”

“I wish it was. But the fact is I was basically a ridiculous little cuss. And I deserved most of what came to me.”

“I never saw that in you.”

“I put on a pretty good show for you. Mainly because you smiled at me, and at that point there were very few people in town who did.”

A dark head popped up from behind the counter, and the salesclerk flipped her braid over her shoulder and turned to face them, smiling broadly. “Cassie! What can I do for you today?”

Cassie offered Kate Garrett a smile in return. “I was thinking flowers, Kate. Thank you for asking.”

“Who's this?” Kate asked.

Kate wouldn't remember Jake because she would've been a kid when he left. It was easy to forget just how much younger than her brothers she was.

“Jake Caldwell.” He extended his hand and Kate shook it. “Currently from Seattle, previously from Copper Ridge.”

Kate's dark eyes widened. “Oh! Welcome back, then.”

“It's only temporary.”

“Well,” Kate said firmly, “enjoy your time here anyway. You're visiting Cassie?”

“Not really.”

Tension thickened in the silence and Cassie didn't really know what to say. “Just petunias would be great.”

“I can grab those for you,” Kate said. “How many you need?”

“A couple of flats. Pink and purple.”

Kate disappeared out the back, leaving Jake and Cassie alone again. It was no less awkward with Kate gone.

“I'm not even sure if I should be buying flowers.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

“You know, just in case I don't end up keeping the shop.”

“Cassie, it's not like I'm selling your business. The building eventually. But you're acting like I'm stripping you of your livelihood or something.”

“You might be. You don't know. You don't know what's going to happen.”

* * *

I
T
STRUCK
J
AKE
then that he was standing there being the bad guy yet again. He didn't like it, but it was a necessity in many ways. It had nothing to do with Cassie personally, and everything to do with him simply wanting ties cut cleanly. He hadn't asked for this. Hadn't asked to have all of his dad's stuff left to him.

He was too smart to do anything but make the most of it but he was hardly going to fall on his sword for anyone. He wasn't fit to play the role of martyr.

“No, I don't know what's going to happen. And neither do you. This isn't personal, Cassie. I came into all this property unexpectedly and I have no desire to hold on to it. I have a life away from here. And I deserve a little payment for the time I served on the Caldwell family farm.”
Do you?
He ignored that thought. He deserved it if he thought he did, right? For all his sins, and yeah, he'd committed them, his dad had plenty of his own.

Jake gritted his teeth and fought against the rising tide of guilt. Guilt over Cassie. Guilt that was as old as the day he left.

Hell, he had a feeling a lot of his guilt was as old as he was.

“Right, fine. I get it, Jake. Things were hard and you don't want to own a piece of this place, and I can understand that. But I do. The Grind is all I have. The Grind and that tiny little apartment above it. I don't want to lose another planter box.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I've already done this, Jake. I've already invested my sweat and energy into a place only to have it taken from me. Those were my flowers, dammit! And he kept them. And she just let them die.”

“What are you talking about, Cassie?”

“I spent eight years working on our house. Working on our marriage. And in the end it wasn't permanent. The one thing that was supposed to be permanent and it wasn't.”

“You're married?” A flash of heat, of anger, unwanted if not entirely unexpected, shot through him. On the heels of that came the biting realization that the marriage she was talking about certainly wasn't healthy. And a part of him decided very quickly that he didn't much care if she had a husband or not.

Shades of old Jake, and it shouldn't be too surprising considering this place seemed to bring that out in him. Seemed to bring out the worst.

“No. Not anymore. I took my name back and everything, seeing as he had the house.”

“How did he end up with it?” He knew it wasn't any of his business, most especially since they were standing there arguing about whether or not he was ruining her life. He had no right to ask for details. No right to get protective and proprietary since he could neither protect her nor keep her.

“We didn't have kids. I didn't have a job. My name wasn't on it.”

“Your name wasn't on it?”

“I didn't have credit. He started the process of buying it while we were still engaged. Then of course in the end I was really screwed because I didn't earn any credit over the course of the marriage. I had to move back in with my mother when we divorced. Until I got The Grind and the apartment above it.”

“And how did you end up with that?”

“The building was empty, and I noticed. I had gotten a job at Rona's Diner waiting tables so I drove by every day. And every day I imagined making it mine. It isn't like your dad was a mentor, or even a benefactor. I tracked him down and asked him if he needed it for anything and he said it was just sitting there costing him property taxes. So we worked something out that seemed fair. Something I could afford, but that would give him income. It was all sort of unofficial, but at that point he was—”

“In the assisted living place.”

“Yeah.”

Kate walked back into the room a moment later with a couple flats of flowers on a rolling rack. “Do you want me to just put this on your tab, Cassie?”

“Yeah, that would be good.” Cassie wasn't looking at him at all now. He wasn't sure why. If it was because of the whole thing with the coffee shop, the discussion about his dad, or the mention of her divorce. Possibly all three. That would figure, seeing as he couldn't seem to puzzle out how to talk to Cassie.

“Oh,” she said, and then she did look at him. “Are we going to be able to get these on your bike? I guess I should've thought of that before we came in.”

“We can figure it out.”

“Oh don't worry about it,” Kate said. “I'll drop them by The Grind on my way home.”

“You don't have to do that,” Cassie said.

Kate tugged on the end of her braid. “Seriously, no big deal.”

“You're too generous, Kate,” Cassie said.

“Not even a little.” The other woman grinned. “I'm going to expect a coffee for my efforts. Possibly a muffin.”

Jake shot Cassie a look, and her mind must have gone to the same place, because she was staring at him, eyes wide, clearly remembering earlier muffin-related innuendo.

Cassie looked back at Kate. “That seems fair.”

Jake hesitated for a moment. “Hey, Kate, is Jim Travers around?”

“No, he and Margie are in Hawaii. They come back over the summer. But otherwise they are usually at their house in Maui these days.”

“Can't really blame them for that,” he said. He ignored the tug of regret in his stomach.

“Definitely not. Someday I'll go to Hawaii and confirm my suspicions that it's paradise. Until then I'll take their word for it.” Kate shoved the rack back behind the counter, then grabbed a piece of paper and a marker and scribbled Cassie's name on it, sticking it on the flats. “I'll be by later.”

“Thank you,” Cassie said.

“Not a problem. See you later.”

“Come on,” Jake said. “I'll take you back.”

“Thanks,” Cassie said. “I suppose it was the wrong time for me to rake you over the coals about selling the building. Seeing as you're helping me.”

“If you ask me, there is no good time to rake me over the coals. But I might be biased on that score.”

She turned and pushed the door open and both of them walked outside into the cool morning air. The wind was just starting to kick up, blowing sea salt and sand in from the beach, mixing with the aroma of pine and bark that surrounded them.

“Possibly. Just a bit.” Cassie stuffed her hands in her back pockets and arched her back, the leather jacket parting as she did. His eyes were drawn, helplessly, to the curve of breasts pressing against the thin fabric of her shirt.

He looked away, turning his focus to the thick grove of trees across the road, the ruffling of the pine branches in the wind. “All right, let's go. I have my own work to get to.” And he knew he sounded grumpy and ungracious, but he couldn't take the time to rectify it. Because if he did, she might smile at him again. And if that happened he might do the thing he'd been thinking about for days—he might lean in and kiss her. And that wouldn't be good for anyone.

Most especially her.