Bachelor Number Four (2 page)

Arden chuckled, snagged the clip back from Lida and pinned up her hair. “I don’t know.”

Candace hooted. “C’mon, Arden. Isn’t there anyone you’d like to fuck who isn’t a movie star? The checkout boy at the grocery store maybe, or the UPS guy?”

“Or maybe a certain dirty worker man?”

Arden gasped involuntarily, like Lida had reached straight into her brain and plucked out her deepest, darkest secret. “Lida!”

“He’s still around, you know,” Lida said. “I’ve seen the signs for his business.”

Arden fended off the cries of “Who?” by raising her hands. “That was a long time ago, Lida.”

“Twelve years isn’t that long ago.”

Candace finished blending another batch of strawberry smoothies and passed out fresh cups to all the ladies. “Spill the dirt, Arden. You heard most of my sordid stories earlier tonight. It’s your turn.”

Emboldened by a gulp of the frozen drink, Arden swallowed twice before answering. It couldn’t hurt to tell the story, could it? It had been a long time ago, and a lot had happened since then. “Before I met my husband, I had a fling, I guess you could call it. With a guy named Shane Donner. I met him at a friend’s house and we hit it off.”

It felt like every woman in the room hung on her every word.

“So, what happened?” asked Marla.

Arden feigned a casual attitude she definitely didn’t feel. “We went out for a little while and then it ended.”

“What she means to say is they fucked each other silly!” crowed Lida.

“And after that?” Pam tipped back her cup to get the last of her drink. “You broke up?”

Arden could still smell the scent of the cologne he’d favored. Could still feel the bite of the wind on her cheeks as she’d faced him. Damn, she realized as she sipped her drink, she could still taste him.

“It’s kinda hard to break up something that never really got started. He wasn’t interested in having a girlfriend,” she said with a shrug. “And he made that pretty clear. So I stopped seeing him, and then I met Jason.”

“And loverboy decided she was the greatest thing since sliced bread and tried to hook up with her again. Too bad, so sad.” Lida gave a hearty laugh and slapped her thigh. “Men can be so dumb.”

“So why not look him up now?” Gail refilled her cup.

“Things are different now. Lots different.”

“I think you should call him.” Pam nodded firmly. “Sex good enough to put a blush on your face twelve years later is good enough to look up again.”

“You know, the best sex I ever had was with the computer nerd who came to install my modem,” piped up Marla in a dreamy voice. “The things that man could do with his hard drive…”

The room exploded with laughter, and in another five minutes Arden’s situation was forgotten as the women began swapping stories again. Relieved to no longer be the center of attention, Arden listened and laughed with her newfound friends, and when the party began to break up just as dawn was streaking the sky, she made her slightly bleary way down the street to her own little house and headed straight for bed.

She paused, one hand on the newel post, her eyes going without effort toward the small alcove off the kitchen she’d turned into her home office. The computer was in there, the flat screen iMac that had become her dearest friend in the months following Jason’s death. She shopped online, kept in touch online, joined grief support groups, banked and rented movies online. She’d also, more than once, looked up names, addresses and telephone numbers on the Net.

Her bed called her—her vast, empty bed—and though her eyes drooped with weariness, the thought of sliding between sheets unwarmed by a companion did not appeal to her. The girls were with Arden’s parents for the entire weekend, a treat they loved and she tolerated because she knew they loved it. Without the pull of small hands and constant childish chatter she felt more than alone. She felt lonely.

However, Maeve and Aislin wouldn’t be home until Sunday morning, more than twenty-four hours from now, and she had no plans for tomorrow other than finishing up a dress she’d been commissioned to sew. She could sleep in tomorrow. The search would only take a few minutes…

Her feet moved before she knew it, and her fingers found the familiar grooves of the keyboard buttons. It took her two seconds to pull up her favorite search engine, to type in his name and their town, and to get a list of possible matches.

Oh.
Connex.
Her lip curled, just a little. Arden had a profile on the popular social media site, but she’d never even updated it and hadn’t logged in since…well, probably since shortly after Lida had encourage her to set one up as a way of keeping in touch, long-distance. That had been a long time ago. And yet there it was, the top hit.

She clicked on it and logged in, surprised she even remembered how. That brought up another screen with a list of Shane Donners who had Connex accounts. She squinted, trying to see from the tiny avatar photos if she recognized any of them. She hit the jackpot on her fourth try.

“Bachelor Number Four,” she murmured, looking at the screen.

He had a business page, very tech-savvy of him though she guessed she shouldn’t be surprised. The world revolved around social media these days, and she’d been told often enough she should have a site for her business. Shane N. Donner, owner/operator Donner’s Specialty Construction. The page gave an address, a phone number and of course, the ability to send him an email message through his profile.

First, though, she stalked his photos.

Nothing too personal. Shots of homes he’d built or renovated. Projects like decks and bathrooms. No pictures of him, and she guessed that made sense since he was trying to promote his work, not his face.

Then, there, one small photo of him on a job site. Dirty denim jeans, work gloves, wife-beater T-shirt, muscles and sweat and…guh. Arden swallowed hard, wishing he’d been turned toward the camera instead of half-away, showing only a part of his profile.

The problem with sites like Connex, she thought, was that it made creeping on someone just too damned easy. Her fingers flew over the keys, typing out a message before she could think to stop herself. Something simple, bland, nonaggressive.

Hi. How are you?

“Will you go with me? Yes, No, Maybe, circle one,” she muttered, well-aware of how her words echoed in the empty house. “Just like in eighth grade, geez.”

She hesitated before hitting send, thought of erasing the message entirely, but again the sting of winter wind slipped across her skin and the taste of smoke and bourbon made her swipe her tongue across her lips. It had been really great sex. If it had ended somewhat sourly…well, they’d been young. It was a long time ago. And there was nothing wrong, really, with just a little note? Just to say hi to an old friend?

Except Shane Donner had never, not exactly, been her friend. He’d been both more and less than that, an enigma, a short-term lover who’d nevertheless rocked her world, made her laugh and made her cry. A man she’d never forgotten.

With determination, Arden clicked send. She sat back and stared at the desktop wallpaper, a montage of film clips from
The Matrix
film trilogy.

“Keanu, if you’re coming for me, you’d better hurry up. I don’t think I can save myself for you much longer.”

Leaving him to ponder that, Arden went upstairs, let the shower wash away the smoke and booze and her tears. Then she slipped into her bed to find a way to make her dreams stop being nightmares.

Chapter Two

Soft kisses whispered up Arden’s thighs, toward the apex of tight curls already moist with anticipation. She shifted to let her legs slide open, to give him access to her clit. The moment she felt the brush of his tongue, she moaned. Loud, not even embarrassed. It felt too good for her to be embarrassed.

It had been so damn long. She opened herself farther, ass sliding on smooth sheets that felt like satin and, therefore, couldn’t possibly be hers. It didn’t matter. None of this did. In fact, it was better that nothing made sense, that the puzzle pieces didn’t quite fit.

She was dreaming, and knowing it didn’t change how good it felt. The pleasure radiating upward from her center was better than anything her purple butterfly could give her. She used the vibrator out of desperation, for the times when sexual frustration overtook her and forced her to find release. But she always felt a little ridiculous doing it. The buzzing made her self-conscious.

Now her phantom lover licked slowly at her clit, circling it with his tongue in just the way she loved. He flicked against her lightly, until her body thrummed with pleasure. Arden arched her back, her head moving from side to side on the slippery sheets, static crackling along the length of her unbound hair.

A finger slipped inside her, then two, stretching.
Ahh, that’s so, so good.
More kisses pressed her flesh, more light tongue flicks sent her surging toward orgasm. Her thighs trembled. Ecstasy coiled between her legs, tighter and tighter, until all she needed was one more kiss, one twist of her lover’s hand, and she’d go over the edge.

Unlike in real life, her dream companion was tireless and focused on her without regard to his own pleasure, and in this way the dream was also better than reality.

But then, to her surprise and slight disappointment, the mouth between her legs left the place she needed it most and moved upward, over her belly (blessedly flat and unmarked with the scars of childbirth—this was, after all, her dream) to her breasts. Her clit pulsed and throbbed. Her cunt clenched on the fingers still sliding so smoothly in and out of her. She lifted her hips and rolled them.

The time had come to look upon her dream lover’s face, to see who was bringing her such ecstasy. It was silly to worry about something like this in a dream, no matter how powerful and realistic, but Arden wanted to look into his eyes when she came.

She tilted her head and smiled down at him as the first ripples jerked her hips and made her belly begin to jump. She expected Keanu’s almond-shaped, dark eyes, or Antonio’s sultry Latin stare, maybe even Ewan’s insouciant twinkle to greet her. A dream man, dream lover, fiction taken directly from the night’s big-screen adventures into her subconscious.

She’d even parted her lips to laugh at the choice her mind had made. What she saw instead made her gasp so loudly she heard it beyond the veil of sleep and knew her waking self had made the noise. She swam up from the dream’s depths and fought waking, her orgasm so close she couldn’t bear to lose it, despite the shock her mind had given her.

“Shane!”

His black hair fell long over his shoulders. Blue-green eyes the color of the Caribbean blinked as he lifted his head from her lust-tight nipples to give her the breathtaking grin she remembered so clearly from twelve years before.

“Arden,” he whispered in the same husky, rough voice she couldn’t forget, “you taste so fucking good.”

And then instantly, the way it happened in dreams, his cock thrust inside her and she bore his weight on her chest while his mouth crushed her lips and his tongue plundered her. Her body clenched and relaxed. His face faded, though the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of her lasted longer. Long enough to tilt her over the edge.

Orgasm exploded through her, and she woke, clit and heart pounding. Had she cried out? Sweat dampened her forehead and made strands of hair cling to her cheeks. Her thighs slid against each other, aided by the slickness of her arousal. Aftershocks rippled through her in quick succession, almost like a dozen or so mini-climaxes.

Panting, Arden lay back on her pillow, mouth dry in the aftermath. “Wow.”

Thank goodness her parents had the girls, so she wouldn’t have to explain any strange noises to curious little ears.

Arden rolled to look at the alarm clock that had always been on Jason’s side of the bed. “Wow.”

She repeated the word with a different inflection, this time, less of overjoyed wonder than amazement.

She’d slept past eleven a.m. When was the last time she’d done that? College? Arden blinked and yawned, stretched out the kinks in her back and sat up.

No hangover. A rumbling stomach. Clear eyes. And an immense, complete sense of full-body satisfaction she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, Arden couldn’t help smiling. Flushed cheeks. Glowing grin. The restorative powers of good sex were indeed impressive.

She paused, mouth full of toothpaste foam, to look at herself again. Lida was absolutely right. She needed to get laid. She needed more than a solo session with her butterfly or a dream man’s cock. She needed real flesh against hers. Real warmth beside her.

The small, framed photo of Jason she’d hung on the wall over the sink caught her eye, and Arden reached to touch her husband’s face. “Jay, I think it’s time.”

He didn’t protest, just kept grinning, fishing rod in one hand and trophy-trout in the other. Arden searched the photo for any sign he’d disapprove. Be jealous. Hate her from Heaven or from wherever it was he’d gone.

The picture, of course, could tell her nothing. Only her mind and heart could give her the encouragement and permission to move on with her life. She touched the frame again, then spit into the sink. Rinsed. Put the cap back on in the way Jason had never remembered to.

“I love you, Jay,” Arden whispered, but just as he could not accuse her of infidelity, neither could he love her back any longer.

Something had happened to her overnight, something so fantastic and strange she had to keep checking her reflection to make sure she hadn’t woken with a tattoo that said
Open for business
on her forehead. Men—strangers—made eye contact with her in the grocery store. The gas station attendant gave her an appreciative look-over when she filled her tank. They were flirting with her!

Maybe the man at the gas station had always flirted with her and she’d just been oblivious. Now Arden smiled back at him when he returned her change. She didn’t want to date him…but just seeing his interest made her look around with new eyes.

Consequently, it was way easier to get a date than she’d expected. Brian Doyle had been selling Arden notions and patterns since she’d opened the sewing shop. Today, when the jingling bell announced his arrival, Arden saw more than a salesman’s smile and a nice suit, or a bag of samples and his usual gift of coffee and doughnuts.