Ayden's Secret (24 page)

“What?” Charlie stopped dead in her tracks. He must be out of his mind to talk to me like that.

“I’m asking you simple questions, and you refuse to answer. How am I supposed to know anything about you if you won’t tell me something as simple as what you like to eat?” Ayden slapped his hat against his thigh and looked off into the distant field.

“I told you I don’t know.” Charlie put her hands on her hips. “Ayden, I haven’t had the luxury of a real life the last eleven years. I worked every day, and when I wasn’t at work, I was in my apartment. You know I hate crowds. So what, do you want me to tell you that microwave lasagna’s my favorite food? It’s what I ate the most. Does that mean it’s a favorite?”

UhOh. “No, of course not. Why didn’t you just tell me that?” Ayden looked at her and realized she was now the one pissed off. Charlie had her hands propped on her hips and a scowl on her face. She may have looked intimidating if she didn’t look so damn cute like that.

“You want me to tell you about the last ten years?” Charlie double dog dared him to say yes. If he wanted to hear it, she was ready to throw it at him.

“Yes.” Ayden nodded.

“Fine. Let’s start when you left Vegas.” Charlie started walking again but at a quick pace. He followed along without any hesitation. “Let’s see. I went back to the Casino, auditioned, got my job back, and then started the rehearsals. From there it became an endless cycle. Show after show, night after night. Dance all night, sleep in all morning, go to rehearsal, and then dance all night. See the pattern there?”

“Yep.” Ayden knew she was being sarcastic, and he understood how hard life could be. Just because he had a family didn’t mean he wasn’t alone most of the time.

“So. When I didn’t work, I saw my therapist, once a month. She told me to get out there and experience the world.” Charlie shook her head. “I told her the world had eaten my family. If I stepped out into it, then I would be eaten alive, too.”

That was a hell of a statement, and he didn’t know what to say in response. Of course, Charlie didn’t give him a chance to respond. She kept right on, and as she spoke, her breath grew more labored. Of course, she was holding a ground eating pace that wasn’t a challenge for him but seemed to be working up to one for her.

“I had two panic attacks at the supermarket, so I started getting my groceries delivered. I also shopped online. That way I didn’t have to deal with anyone.” Charlie found the hat she was looking for. It was right at the edge of the woods, as she’d suspected. Picking it up, she inspected it, dusted it off, and put it on her head.

Ayden couldn’t believe she found that hat. She wanted it, and she hunted it down, just like she had done to him. Charlie started back toward the barn again.

“The casino was a safe place to be. I knew the girls, enjoyed the dancing and performing. But what kind of life is that to lead?” Charlie stopped. “You lived and I loved hearing about the outside world. I could go to that coffee shop and sit there with you because I knew I would be safe there.”

“But I didn’t show up this year.” Ayden nodded and felt his chest ache. He wanted to ask a real question now but was afraid to. Fear wasn’t something he had felt since he was a child. After his dad left, he vowed not to be afraid of anything. “Did something happen that day?”

“Yeah. You never showed up. You left me in a coffee shop in Las Vegas for hours. No phone call, no post card. Nothing.” Charlie started walking again. “I called your cell, but the line was disconnected.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Ayden forgot the only number she had was the FBI issued cell phone. Hell it was the number he could be reached at twentyfour seven for years. The best number to have, but they took the phone when he left the field. As a parttime training agent, he didn’t need that kind of access. “I had to turn the phone in.”

“Whatever. It’s in the past now.” Charlie hadn’t brought it up because it was in the past. She was mad, scared, and hurt. She thought she’d let it go, but he pulled it all back to the surface. “As I was saying, I don’t know the answers to some of your questions, so I’m sorry if that pisses you off.” She made quotation marks in the air. She really was pissed off at him now. They were back at the barn, and she had half a mind to take off running just like Lady had. Instead, she stormed on. “But it pisses me off that you think I’m holding out on you. Don’t you think when I asked your favorites I would have told you mine if I had any? Or when you would tell me about family dinners or your mother nagging you over the years I would have related? I have nothing to relate to.”

Damn. Damn. Damn. He wanted to kick his own ass now. What an insensitive jerk. That wasn’t a new development either. No, he had been a real ass to her over the years. Never once did he think she wasn’t out living her life. He always thought she just downplayed it and felt sorry for him enough that she dragged information out of him. Shit!

“I really am a son of a bitch.” Ayden grabbed her by the arm, his tone solemn and low. “I’m sorry, darlin’.”

Charlie frowned at him until she realized he was sincere. He wasn’t a son of a bitch. She could have told him several times when he tried to ask her questions. She didn’t want him to think she was afraid anymore. She thought he would find her more attractive if she were brave and strong, like his sisters. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Okay, baby.” Ayden removed his hat and hers. He pressed his forehead to hers and looked her eye to eye. “So. What can I do to get out of the dog house here?”

“Well.” Charlie pulled her head back and looked around. “We are alone for a few hours. You did promise.”

Ayden smiled. Making up with Charlie was such a sweet affair. He dropped the hats and pulled her by her hand inside the barn. He hadn’t had a roll in the hay since he was a teenager. What fun.

Chapter 21

Charlie sat on the porch watching the sunset. Ayden stepped outside with two glasses of peach tea and stood in front of her. He handed her a glass then pushed at one knee motioning for her to spread her legs. Sitting on the step between them, he leaned back settling himself against her.

Charlie could feel his soft hair on her neck and his forehead next to her jaw. His huge arms draped over either leg, and his massive back crushed her breasts. There was no way she could navigate the iced tea to her lips though he seemed to enjoy his just fine. She set the glass down and looped an arm around him. “Ask me about my favorite sunset.”

Ayden smiled. “Tell me about your favorite sunset.”

“Well, I was sitting on a porch in Tennessee with this enormous man leaning back on me. I felt exhausted and satisfied from the inside out. Of course we had grabbed a blanket and played in the barn that afternoon.” Charlie kissed his temple. “Then we showered, had a wonderful dinner and he promised to introduce me to peach flavored ice tea. We sat on the porch and watched the sunset. It became my favorite that instant.”

“Sounds like you found yourself a real winner. Porches, barns and tea,” Ayden teased. “If you’re lucky, he may even take you down by the lake and park for a while.”

“No. We have an early start in the morning. Graceland, baby!” Charlie pushed him up with a renewed energy and excitement. “Now get up those stairs and hit the rack.”

“Where did you get that from?” Ayden stood and looked at her curiously, as he pulled her up from the stairs.

“You. You said that’s what they called the bed in the Navy, right?” Charlie dusted off her shorts and finally tasted the tea. “This is really good. Can you make this at home?”

“Yes.” Ayden nodded.

Finally, finally she had him on the end of a double conversation. “Yes, that’s what you called it in the Navy or yes you can make this at home?”

“Yes.” Ayden shrugged and headed inside.

Damn it! Charlie followed him in. He had one answer for both questions.

“How many women have you taken to Graceland?” Charlie couldn’t help herself.

“None.” Ayden fisted his shirt and pulled it over his head.

“Not even your mom or Noel?” Charlie pulled her pajamas on as she talked.

“No.” Stripped down to just boxers Ayden climbed into the queen size bed.

“So I’m the first woman you have taken to Graceland?” Charlie climbed into bed next to him cuddling close in their usual fashion. She was settling into a comfort zone with Ayden.

“Yes.” Ayden was no longer going to expand on answers for Charlie. If she wanted to probe him for information, she would now be working for it. He closed his eyes and settled into a nice relaxed state of mind.

“We have to be back here by seven, I promised.” Charlie was still awake and looking at his face. The windows were open and a nice breeze had drifted over them. “Do you think it’s going to rain tomorrow?”

“Charlie, darlin’, you need to sleep.” Ayden pulled her even closer in hopes of settling her down.

Charlie exhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Her head was swimming with questions as it normally was. She could talk him to death and just might. He never seemed agitated by her questioning before and now he had become the one word wonder. Ayden’s breathing grew heavy and he even snored. He must really be tired. After a few moments, Charlie pulled away from him and faced the window, so she could enjoy the view of the night sky, open land, and the silver light from the moon illuminating it all.

He walked to the bathtub and pulled his phone from his hip. Preston was gone. He couldn’t feel his presence anywhere. The woman’s eyes opened, and he realized they were green not blue. Terrified he realized it was Charlie, not Michael in the tub. Ayden dropped the phone and grabbed her. It had to be Michael. He had been through this before, all of it. Except, he was there, Preston, behind him.

Ayden stood to block her from him. In such a panic, he couldn’t react, couldn’t move, scream, fight. He was frozen helpless.

“Michael,” he screamed. “It’s Michael.” It can’t be Charlie.

made offers.

“Ayden?” she whispered.

“Don’t you fucking touch her. I’ll Kill You I Swear It!” Ayden growled out through his teeth.

Charlie had her answer right then and there. It was the nightmares again. Not a sexual fantasy. She should have known better. Now she was just glad she was awake. His hand was reaching for her, and she pushed him hard to get away. “Ayden!”

His eyes opened as he lost balance and began slipping off the edge of the bed. Charlie had practically kicked him out of it, and he didn’t know why. Like an animal, he landed on his feet and hands then surveyed the room. Nothing.

“What is it?” he whispered, just in case she could see something he couldn’t. His head was fogged from the nightmare.

“You.” Charlie turned on the light. She jumped at the sight of him. He had a nine millimeter in hand and was crouched at the foot of the bed. “Ayden, you are going to kill me one of these nights.”

He drew his brows together and stood. He hovered over her and popped the magazine from the gun then cleared the round in the chamber. He replaced the magazine and set the weapon on the foot of the bed.

“You?” He gave her a mean look. “You scared the shit out of me. I thought someone was trying to get you.”

“Someone was, you, you tried to choke me again.” Charlie was in awe of him. Here he was ready to kill for her, but at the moment the only one trying to kill her was him. “If I hadn’t pushed you, you would have gotten a hold on me for sure.”

Ayden couldn’t take those words any easier than he had taken Noel’s this morning. He sat facing away from her at the foot of the bed. He had heard about this before. He knew other Seals who had gone through it, knew other agents. Part of the reason he didn’t want a woman at home to possibly flip out on in the middle of the night. Now he was doing exactly that. Had he always acted out when he had nightmares? He had no idea. No one was ever around to tell him.

Charlie cautiously crawled to the foot of the bed and placed her hand on his back. He was again drenched in sweat, and his muscles bunched as though he was in battle. She didn’t mean to yell at him or upset him, but a man of Ayden’s skill was dangerous to sleep with when he had nightmares. The only time he had nightmares apparently was when she was around.

“I’m sorry.” Charlie settled in behind him and stroked his wet hair.

“You can’t sleep with me anymore.” Ayden was definitive in his statement. Here just hours earlier, he was planning a proposal and now he was kicking her out of bed.

“I can’t sleep without you anymore.” Charlie knew he felt bad. She knew he would beat himself with guilt over it, but not sleeping with him was not an option. She would have to become a light sleeper. She had heard him call Michael’s name. That alone was

what woke her, and thank God for that.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“NO.”

“Do you want me to choke you?” Charlie shook him at the shoulders.

“What?” Ayden readjusted his shoulder blades not fazed by her shaking at all.

“Ayden Wolf, you listen here. I didn’t come all the way to Tennessee to sleep on the couch.” Charlie barked like his mother and sister would have. Maybe women had to boss Ayden around.

“You’re right.” Ayden pulled from her grasp, picked up the gun, and placed it back in the nightstand drawer. He looked at her for a long silent moment then walked out the bedroom door.

Charlie looked at the clock. Six a.m. They had to be up in a couple hours anyways. They planned to be at Graceland by ten. Charlie rolled her head to the left then the right, cracking her neck as though she were about to go into the arena and take on a gladiator. Instead she was about to go into the den and pull out the Wolf.

Ayden had just settled on the couch in the family room on the lower level when Charlie crossed the room and pulled at his blanket. He pulled back. She had a look about her that reminded him of a wild animal. She looped the little bit of blanket she had around her fist and pulled again. The tug of war ensued.

Charlie wasn’t giving up and neither was Ayden. He stared at her speechless, almost amused as she fought to get the blanket from him. She wanted him to get back up those stairs and back into bed with her. Instead, he had pulled her and the blanket back to the couch.

“What are you doing, darlin’?” All of his ill temperament had left him, mainly because Charlie was infused with it. She was strong. He gave her credit for that, but still no match for him.

“Losing.” Charlie let go of the blanket and started to walk off.

“Giving up so easy?” Ayden asked the question, but they both knew he wasn’t talking about the blanket.

“No.” Charlie went to the old wooden chest and pulled out her own blanket. If she had to sleep in the Wolf’s den, she would. Returning to the couch, she squeezed herself onto it. They were lying in opposite directions, both of their bodies too long to be sleeping on the couch.

Ayden bit her foot and then released it. Charlie didn’t know what to make of that reaction, but he didn’t leave and he didn’t kick her off the couch. Sleep would be impossible. Conversation was out of the question. She was aggravated and he seemed happy.

“You wanna watch T.V.?” Ayden reached for the remote and turned it on not waiting for her answer. She was still wiggling to get comfortable.

“Guess so.” She huffed.

“Anything particular?” Ayden shrugged as he flipped through the channels.

“OH. Go back.” If he wanted to play it like this, that was fine by her. “There. Yes.”

“What the hell is this?” Ayden sat up, and Charlie just stretched her feet to his lap. He looked at her and then returned the favor. She gave him a glare that let him know she was not happy about that. He wiggled his big toes in delight.

“Sex and the City.” Charlie tilted her head with a forced smile.

“They don’t show adult movies on TBS, try again.” Ayden smirked.

“It’s a series, originally on HBO, not porn.” Charlie was affronted on her own behalf.

“Oh God, her clothes hurt my eyes.” Ayden physically drew his head back and winced.

“Ayden.” Charlie said the name at the same time Carrie, the character on the screen did. He looked at her then to the screen then back again. Charlie shrugged. It was a coincidence this was the season of the show they were showing, nothing more. “This is my favorite show.”

“Because they end up together?” Ayden smiled. Charlie was such a romantic. He really loved that about her. The fact that she could withstand his stubbornness and push through his walls was a little frightening.

“Uh.” Charlie reached for the remote.

“They don’t?” He shook his head. “And here I thought you were all about the girl getting the guy in the end.”

“She does get her guy in the end.” Charlie fidgeted with the blanket. “But her man’s not Ayden.”

“So who is?” Ayden felt a pang in his gut that wrenched at him. Was she going to tell him he was second on her list? After all, she had done to chase him down? Had she really left someone in Vegas?

“Big,” Charlie whispered. Ayden had pulled his feet from her lap and settled a serious look on her that chilled her blood. Did he know she was running now? Her last attempt to get his attention had backfired. She had set everything up counting on Ayden to be there that day.

“So who am I, Charlie?” Ayden spoke through his teeth. Graceland was out of the question if she gave him any response other than what he wanted to hear.

“The only man I have ever loved. I’m not going to lie to you, Ayden. I did try to date someone this year.” Charlie swallowed hard. “But only to get to you. I thought if he showed up at the coffee shop and you saw me with him, you would snap out of it.”

Ayden muted the television and snarled at her. It felt like she had kicked him in the chest. Just thinking of another man near her made him twitch with anger.

“It was stupid. I know. I didn’t do anything with him, I swear.” Charlie felt like she was drowning in a sea of lies and deceit. She should have told him. She should have told him everything. Now, he was starting to love her, starting to trust her, and she was hurting him.

“You were going to use him to get to me though?” Angel, ha! Charlie was no angel, and she wasn’t who he thought her to be either. A fragile and wounded woman, she was a predator, and he was her prey. He knew exactly how ruthless he could be. Never in a million years did he think she was capable of it.

“Yes.” Charlie lifted a shoulder. “I’m a classic stalker case actually.”

“A what?” Ayden crossed his arms. He couldn’t wait to hear this one. If Charlie was a stalker, what did that make him? He still had her file in his office at home. He had the Nevada agents checking up on her regularly. Of course, he wasn’t going to tell her that.

“I fit the profile.” Charlie looked at her hands in disgust. Should she tell him the rest?

“You…” Ayden scanned it through his head quickly. “Hold up, how do you know what profile you fit into?”

“What do you think I did all that time I was trapped in your apartment? I read all your books.” Charlie took a breath. “That’s how I knew how to get to you untraced. Only the FBI agents in Nevada have an idea of where I may be. But I was careful not to tell them I was coming after you. I just told them we were friends and you solved my sister’s case, and if they could contact you, I would appreciate it.”

Ayden sat there in wideeyed wonder. “So what exactly did you do to get to me?”

“Nothing illegal.” Charlie didn’t want him to get the total wrong idea. He held his hands up and leaned back on the couch. “Well, first I sold or donated everything I didn’t bring. I told you that. I destroyed my computer, so nothing could be retrieved from it even if it was found…in the seven different trash cans I scattered the remains in.”

Charlie knew it sounded paranoid, but she was paranoid. Ayden rolled his hand as if urging her on. Leaning forward on his knees he was soaking in every word.

“Okay. I drove my car most of the ways, sold it for cash to a college student, bought a clunker that I drove until it gave out, and used a fake ID to get on the bus.” Charlie chewed her bottom lip.

“I made sure to visit my doctor before I left. That’s how I got the birth control, but I had used the fake ID there, too. The casino is the only place that may be worried about me.” Here was the real truth. “But, a few girls have dropped out suddenly over the past few months, and the new management doesn’t seem to care.”

“What are you running from?” Ayden knew now. She couldn’t hide it anymore. He was impressed as hell, yet somewhat unsettled by her abilities. Noel was right. Charlie was nothing like her file. She was strong and powerful when she set her mind to it.

“I don’t know,” Charlie said honestly. “I looked at it more as running to. I was running to you.”

“So this guy you had set up to make me jealous…” It worked like a charm, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

“He never showed either. I had only known him a couple days.” Charlie shrugged.

“So you were left completely alone that day.” Ayden realized the full impact. Neither of the men she had planned to show had been there. Leaving her confused, alone and afraid. She nodded. “Charlie.”

She looked up at him with unsure eyes.

“You ready?” Ayden kept his poker face.

She shrugged.

“Graceland, baby.” He kicked up a smile.

“Oh God.” It was then she remembered it was his birthday. Great she had confessed to stalking him on his birthday. “Ayden.”

“What?” He was unsure of her new mood.

“It’s your birthday.” Charlie covered her face with both hands. She had pushed him out of bed, chased him downstairs, and fought with him over the blankets. All of that before she confessed to stalking him and using another man to get his attention. Shit.

“Yeah so.” He hated birthday attention. It was just another day, nothing special. Charlie, now she was special. Just as sick and twisted, as he was, that he could deal with. The nightmares, he would work on. He never wanted to hurt her. Maybe he could prevent himself from falling into a sound sleep. Maybe once they were married, he wouldn’t be afraid of losing her. He wrapped his head around it. Yes, he was afraid of losing her. That’s it.She wasn’t going anywhere.

“What do you want for your birthday, Ayden?” Charlie slid close to him. “I’ve been terrible this morning, and I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

“You…wait, anything?” Ayden wasn’t stupid. The woman said anything, and though he felt better now she had talked to him about everything that led her to his door that day he wasn’t going to turn down that offer.

“Yes.” Charlie nodded. “Breakfast in bed, a massage, you name it.”