Ayden's Secret (16 page)

After breakfast, they headed down to Joshua and Evelyn’s house to say good bye to everyone. Ethan and Grace were eager to leave. No sooner than they said goodbye they were on their way. Malcolm and Stephanie climbed in the van with Megan and Chase. Stephanie cried leaving Charlie, but insisted that they stay in the loft when they came to New York for the wedding. Noel and Tom strapped in Page, and Noel reminded Ayden that his mother should meet Charlie and soon. Ayden grumbled but knew she was right.

In the end, there were four people on the sidewalk, Joshua and Evelyn, Ayden and Charlie. Ayden knew that with so many people there over the past week the last thing the couple wanted to do was entertain. Besides, he wanted to go home with Charlie and really spend time with her.

“Charlie, do you want to go to the studio with me?” Evelyn asked.

“I’d love to.” Charlie perked up. She knew Evelyn was serious about the offer, and Charlie was eager to have a job. She had all of her money stashed inside her underwear drawer. It was scary to have a job; it meant filing taxes, but that was still months away. Surely, by then everything in Vegas would be cleared up. As it was, she had no accounts, no traceable anything. One bad thing was that she also had to cancel her one credit card. No more online shopping.

“What are you going to do, Wolf?” Joshua looked at Ayden who seemed frozen in time. He shrugged. Joshua shook his head. That man had it bad. “Come on, the game will be on soon.”

Ayden and Joshua headed inside while Evelyn and Charlie climbed into Evelyn’s Honda civic.

***

“Do you think we could go shopping today?” Charlie looked over to Evelyn.

“Yeah, go grab your purse.” Evelyn stopped in front of Ayden’s house. Charlie ran inside and grabbed her purse. She was beaming when she got back into the car. “You really like shopping, huh?”

“No. I hate it.” Charlie smiled widely as she looked at her. “Can you help me?”

“I’m not much for shopping. Megan and Stephanie are the fashionistas.” Evelyn shrugged.

“No, I mean I have to get regular clothes. Oh, and plain full coverage pajamas. Don’t let me forget that.” Charlie was so excited. She got to see the studio and go shopping. She hadn’t been in an actual store since Michael died.

“You’re so funny.” Evelyn laughed.

They discussed the types of classes Charlie would teach and set up a date for her to meet with Neal and make a new schedule. Evelyn was excited to expand her options. Charlie had so much potential. She could teach yoga and several dance classes. Evelyn would keep up with other yoga and martial arts classes, and when she got too big to do them anymore, she would let Neal take them over. He had been chomping at the bit to get more classes anyways.

Charlie shopped like a mad woman. Evelyn was a little surprised at her choices because they were conservative. The clothes were still feminine and pretty, but longer skirts, looser shirts, and several pairs of pajamas. Evelyn enjoyed the girl time. No one had asked her opinion on clothes before, and she was surprised that she actually had one. Thanks to Charlie’s influence, however, she picked up a few trendy items. Also a little pajama outfit that she hoped Joshua would enjoy before she outgrew it.

***

Ayden and Joshua watched football, and Ayden watched the clock.

“Damn, Wolf, she’s with Evelyn.” Joshua was tired of Ayden’s clock watching. “You’re acting like Ethan.”

“Bullshit.” Ayden grumbled and fought the urge to look at his watch for the hundredth time.

“So what’s the deal, you love her or what?” Joshua tipped up his beer.

“What kind of question is that?” Ayden swirled his beer at the bottom of the bottle.

“Dude, your sister barged into my house at three a.m. and pointed a gun at my head. That was how I met her. On some level even at that moment I knew. She’s been bossing me around ever since.” Joshua stretched and stood. “Which reminds me I’m going to make roast for dinner, you guys going to eat here tonight?”

“No, you two need time alone.” Ayden needed time alone with Charlie.

“Uhhu.” Joshua shook his head and went into the kitchen. “The sooner you surrender the better off you’ll be.”

“Surrender?” Ayden laughed.

“Yeah. Give it up. She’s the one for you, and you know it. I almost died not telling Evelyn that I loved her.” Joshua pulled a pan out and began preparing the roast. “You’re a smart man. Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not stupid. I care for her, but unlike you, I also have an obligation to her. She doesn’t know me well enough to know if she loves me. I know that I care for her, but love?” Ayden stood and stretched. “How the fuck do you know you love someone?”

“You know,” Joshua said as the door opened. “You just do.”

Joshua stopped chopping potatoes and went to greet his wife. Charlie wasn’t with her. Ayden watched the two embrace and Joshua fawn over Evelyn. As much as Evelyn grumped about Joshua’s fussing, she sure seemed to enjoy it.

“Where’s Charlie?” Ayden asked.

“Your house.” Evelyn looked him over. Ayden was ready to bolt out the door she could tell. Poor guy. If he would just let go, he could be happy. She knew it was going to be tough for him; it was for her. “You coming back for dinner?”

“No.” Ayden shook his head. “You guys need a break.”

“Uhhu.” Evelyn smiled and nodded as Ayden left the house.

***

Ayden tried not to run up the street, but he moved quickly. Inside Charlie was nowhere to be found. He bounded up the stairs taking them two at a time and found her in her room amongst several shopping bags.

“What the hell did you buy?” Ayden lifted his brow and leaned in her doorway.

“Clothes.” Charlie turned and faced him. She could put them away later when he couldn’t see.

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” Ayden fought the urge to go to her.

“What do you want?” Charlie locked her knees fighting herself to stay in place.

“Is that a trick question?” He smiled his wolfish grin.

“Ayden.” She let out a sigh of exasperation.

“All right, all right.” He lifted from the door. “I’ll go work on dinner, should be ready in an hour.”

“Thank you.” Charlie smiled and went back to her shopping bags.

***

“I don’t think I can eat all of this.” Charlie looked at the plate. It was full of steak and potatoes and a corn cob.

“I’ll eat what you can’t finish, trust me.” Ayden knew the steaks were big, but he was usually the only one eating them.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Charlie had to find a way to let him know she was meeting Neal to arrange the schedule.

“Yes. And I have to take Leon’s cousin Lacy out for dinner tomorrow night.” Ayden grumbled. “I won’t be gone long.”

“You should take your time. I have plans to meet Neal and go over the schedule.” Charlie took a sip of soda from her glass. “Evelyn arranged for him to pick me up tomorrow and take me out for dinner.”

“Excuse me?” Ayden leaned toward her.

“I told her you had a date, and she said that Neal would be happy to get out of the barracks.” Charlie shrugged. If she didn’t know any better, she would think he was jealous.

“Is that right?” Ayden stabbed the steak with his fork and sliced it more forcefully than necessary with his knife.

“I have to meet him. I have to work with him.” Charlie tried to fight the smile. He was jealous.

“When is he picking you up?” Ayden forced a calm tone though his shoulders were already growing tight. He would talk to Neal before he took Charlie anywhere.

“Seven.”

Ayden remained calm and cool on the outside though inside he was tearing apart with feelings he had never really experienced before. He knew Neal, but it didn’t matter. He didn’t want to think of any other man sitting across the table from Charlie, enjoying her company, watching her smile, and listening to her talk.

“Did you have a good time today?” He tried for a casual persona that he just didn’t have.

“I had a lot of fun with Evelyn. I’m really looking forward to teaching some dance classes. I miss the exercise.” Charlie knew he was fuming, but she wasn’t going to coddle him right now. She watched him struggle to make peaceful conversation, but the dark side of Ayden was all too familiar to her. When he was an agent and she was locked in that apartment for six months, he did nothing but fume, plan and pace. She would always talk to him and settle him then. Not now.

Ayden stewed in his thoughts through the rest of the meal. He tried to hold a conversation about the house and the yard and what he had planned to do. His thoughts kept coming back to her. Why in the world was she here with him? He didn’t deserve her, yet he sure as hell didn’t want to see her with another man.

Ayden heard the sniff. He turned to see the single tear stream down her cheek. She wasn’t sad though; she was smiling. It still bothered him that she cried. Unable to stop himself he reached out to her and wiped the tear. He knew she didn’t expect it by her reaction. She blinked at him and let down her smile.

“Ayden, I miss Michael,” Charlie admitted.

“I know you do.” Ayden wiped the other cheek as the next tear fell.

“I miss my parents.”

“I understand.” He scooted closer to her.

“I miss you.” Charlie sobbed.

“I’m right here, Charlie.” Ayden pulled her into his arms and held her.

“For now.” Charlie sniffed. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I missed you so much when you left. I was so glad to keep your apartment. It was as if I still had you in it sometimes. There were days when I swore you would walk back in the door and grump around the kitchen.”

“Grump?” Ayden frowned at that. He still held her and stroked her soft blonde hair.

“Yes. For six months you were my life. And then you left and I died. I cried every night. I fought myself every morning to get out of bed and go back to work. I told myself that someday you would come back to stay and not just to visit.” Charlie knew she was telling him too much. If she wanted to scare him away, this was a great tactic. Yet all her emotions were there, and she couldn’t hide them anymore.

“Charlie, why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Ayden felt like she just stabbed him in the chest with a knife. He was supposed to protect her, and he had been the one to hurt her the most. He wouldn’t have given a relationship a chance then; they both knew that, but he would have moved her to New York to Virginia. He would have moved her to be near him.

“You didn’t want a relationship. You made that clear. And every year I prayed that you would change your mind.” Charlie clutched his shirt now filled with her tears. “I was afraid to scare you away.”

“Charlie, I am bound to you for the rest of my life.” He pushed her back to face her. He lifted her chin and drew a heavy breath. His chest felt like cinder blocks had replaced his lungs, and he struggled for air. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear to God I didn’t know I was hurting you.”

“I know.” Charlie could see his anguish, and she felt bad. She didn’t want him to feel guilty or responsible. She just had to get it off her chest. “You didn’t hurt me, Ayden. I just missed you. That’s all.”

“I don’t know what to do here.” Ayden felt helpless.

Charlie snickered.

“What?” He looked at her confused.

“You.” Charlie smiled. “You said you didn’t know what to do, but you’re doing exactly what I need you to do.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re holding me.” Charlie hugged him tight.

“Oh.” Ayden pulled her into his lap and held her while she cried.

Charlie’s sobs faded and her breathing slowed. He knew she had finally drifted off to sleep when her grip loosened. Ayden stretched an arm over to the end table and grabbed the remote. He turned off the television and stood with a sleeping Charlie in his arms. He carried her straight to his bedroom and pulled the bedding back. Once he had her tucked in, he climbed in bed next to her. He pulled her close to him with her back along his chest.

Charlie had given him a lot to think about. He had no idea he meant that much to her. He had no idea he meant that much to anyone. Joshua was right he had to surrender. Charlie was the one for him. She always was. He went to sleep with all the memories of the past years running through his mind.

“Ayden?” Charlie said softly.

He mumbled into her neck, and his grip clamped even tighter on the arm he held.

“Ayden?” Charlie tried to pull the arm free.

“I will kill you,” Ayden spoke clearly. “If you touch her, I will fucking kill you.”

Charlie held her breath and realized he had to be asleep and dreaming an awful dream. Her arm felt like it would snap under the pressure, but now she didn’t know what to do. If he didn’t wake up, he might break it, but how could she wake him up without startling him? That response could be even scarier. She remembered when he woke up from a noise in the apartment all those years ago. He entered the bedroom with his weapon at the ready insisted that she take the other gun and hide under the bed while he cleared the tiny apartment.

“Please, Ayden, wake up,” Charlie spoke in as normal of a tone as she could make it.

“Charlie?” Ayden’s eyes opened; he was disoriented and pissed. Last thing he knew he was talking to the asshole that had killed her sister. Now…Shit!

“You’re hurting me.” Charlie held back the tear and touched the hand that still maintained a death grip on her arm.

Ayden was aware then that he didn’t have a hold on Preston Bates’ throat. He had a hold on Charlie. He let go quickly and pulled the arm up so he could see it as he simultaneously sat up in the bed.

“I’m so sorry.” Ayden could see the friction burn and his handprint in red against her pale skin. Never in his life had he hurt a woman, and now he had not only caused her to cry for breaking her heart, but he almost broke her arm. “God I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Charlie tried to hide the tears, but it hurt like hell. If Ayden ever got a hold on whoever, he was dreaming about, no doubt he would kill them. But who was the woman in his dreams? “What were you dreaming about?”

Ayden didn’t want to tell her, but under the circumstances he had no choice. “Preston.”

“Why?” Charlie gasped. Why in the world was he dreaming of Preston Bates? The man was in prison for life. Had this been the reason he couldn’t be with her? She brought all of his demons with her.

“I don’t know darlin’.” Ayden pulled her arm up and peppered it with baby kisses. “I thought I had a hold on his throat. It was so real, Charlie. I could feel it, smell it. I could see her.”

Charlie thought for sure if Ayden cried she would die. His voice caught, and he took a deep breath.

“Ayden, it’s okay. I dream about it too sometimes.” Charlie pulled her arm free and gently rubbed over the area. If Ayden ever had his hands on that man’s throat that tightly, he would have been dead. She was sure of that.

“But I hurt you.” Ayden scrubbed his face with his hands. He wasn’t a weak man. He wasn’t an especially emotional one either, but looking at his prints on Charlie made his gut rip in half. “And I swear it was real, and the place was different. I couldn’t make out the details.”

“It was a dream, Ayden. You didn’t hurt me, see.” Charlie tried to play it off. “At least you didn’t pull a gun on me and force me under the bed.”

He snickered. “Charlie, I’m serious.”

“So am I.” Charlie rubbed her hand over his back. It was wet with sweat. He had really been tormented by that dream. “How often do you dream about it?”

“Usually once a year,” Ayden confessed. “But twice this week.”

“Oh.” Charlie realized she was in fact the cause of the nightmares. Apparently, she haunted him every year. While she was dreaming of making love to Ayden the night before they would meet, he was dreaming of Michael’s murder.

She didn’t have the chance to say anything else before the alarm clock sounded with Elvis singing “Jailhouse Rock.” Ayden stopped the King and turned to Charlie.

“Tell Evelyn you can’t start work until next week.”

“What? Why?” She felt her heart racing. She dumped a lot on him last night. He just dropped a lot on her this morning, and she was still processing the day ahead of them.

“So I can take you home to meet my momma.” Ayden pulled her chin up toward him. “That is if you want to.”

“I…I…” Charlie stammered.

“Good.” He smooched her lips. “I have to sub for Leon today. I’ll be home before five. I could take you to Neal’s…”

“He’s going to pick me up at seven.” Charlie could barely keep up with him this morning. He went from threatening her life to trying to block her dinner with Neal again in no time. “Besides you have your own dinner date to pick up.”

“Where are you going to eat tonight?”

“Ayden.” Charlie moved to get out of the bed but found herself being playfully tackled by the Wolf. “Ayden!”

Ayden covered her with his heavy body and kissed her neck. “We could both go to the same place.” He kissed again. “Then Neal could entertain her and I could have dinner with you.” He kissed again.

“What is it with you and mornings?” Charlie gripped his face with both hands and forced him to look at her.

“I hate mornings.” Ayden tried to kiss her lips, but she held his face firm. He was close enough, so he just licked out and caught her top lip with his tongue.

“I can tell.” Charlie gave up and let him kiss her.

Once she let go of his face, he nipped her bottom lip lightly and slid his arms around and under her back. His lips moved from a scorching hot kiss to her neck as he lifted her shoulders up and her head dropped back. “Ayden.”

“Yes, darlin’.” Ayden still licked, kissed and nipped at her neck.

“You have to go to work.” Charlie was falling under his spell in rapid fashion.

“I don’t have to be there for two hours.” Ayden moved farther down as he lifted her higher.

“What?” Charlie stroked his back as her own hands betrayed her and joined him.

“I wanted to make sure I had time to talk to you this morning, so I set it an hour earlier.”

Ayden started to cover her nipple with his lips, but Charlie rolled forcing him to his side and then pushed him to his back.

“Now you listen here, Ayden Wolf.” Charlie sat straddling him.

“You have my full attention, darlin’.” Ayden reached for her breasts, but she swatted his hands. “You want control? Tell me what you want me to do then.”

“This isn’t about sex.” Charlie looked down at him with a serious expression. His baby blue eyes were dark with desire. He pulled his bottom lip in and lifted into her with his hips pressing himself against her. She had changed into pajamas before they settled onto the couch. They were long and loose, apparently not worth the investment. She gasped. “You behave.”

“Oww.” Ayden grabbed the spot on his chest where she pinched him. “What’s that for?”

“Ayden, we agreed not to have sex until we knew each other better. I poured my heart out to you last night…”

“I didn’t plan to have sex with you, Charlie.” Ayden sat up and looked her eye to eye. He grabbed her neck and the small of her back and repositioned his legs. In one swift motion, he put her on her back again. He hovered over her now facing the foot of his bed. “I just wanted breakfast.”

“Ayden.” Charlie bit his shoulder since he was already at her neck again. He didn’t flinch; in fact he growled. “Damn it, Wolf.”

“What baby?” Ayden let out a long sigh. She was still disgruntled.

“You’re moving way too fast.” Charlie never thought she would hear those words come out of her mouth, yet there they were.

“Oh.” He gently kissed her neck and placed a long slow lick up to her ear. “I can move real slow for you, Charlie.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Her voice was more in a whisper than she wanted it to be.

“Do you want me or don’t you?” Ayden pushed up to his elbows and looked her eye to eye.

Charlie was cornered. Of course, she wanted him, but she was on emotional overdrive. She hadn’t had the chance to process the confessions of last night much less the advances of this morning.

Ayden wasn’t sure what was going on with this woman. Last night she all but told him she was in love with him and now this morning she was pushing him away.

“You’ve never even taken me on a date.” Charlie had to come up with something, and she didn’t want to use her foot or arm as a way out, but she had to process things.

“What?” Ayden leaned on one elbow and propped his head on his fist. His other hand now smoothed her hair. He loved the soft texture and the way it smelled. Having Charlie there in the mornings was the best thing he had felt in years, even if she was cranky as hell.

“A date, Ayden, like the other women you have dated.” She made air quotation marks when she said dated.

“What do you call the other night with the candles and the music and the touching?” Ayden twisted a lock of hair around his finger. She was amusing him now. Was she jealous?

“Dinner.” Charlie drew her brows down. Ayden was obviously amused by her, and that made her even more frustrated.

“No, darlin’, what I made last night was dinner. What you did, well, that was something else.” He winked at her.

“You have never taken me out anywhere.” Charlie knew she sounded ridiculous. They had known each other forever, and she had a fear of crowds, but it was his idea to do things properly.

“You’re right.” Ayden smiled. She was jealous. Fair enough. He was jealous, too. “Tomorrow night, dinner and a movie, tell me if there’s anything you want to see and we’ll find out who’s playing it around here.”

“I…” Charlie was silenced by a sweet gentle kiss that lingered. As soon as she slid her arms around him, he pushed up and out of them. Damn it!

“So what are you going to do today?” Ayden was out of the bed and pulling clothes from the closet and then the dresser.

“Laundry.” Charlie shrugged. She had no idea what she was going to do with herself today.

“Have you ever been horseback riding?” Ayden pulled on the pants and then the shirt.

“Is that a trick question?” Charlie sat up and crossed her arms.

“No, darlin’. I may be hung like a horse, but I assure you I’m much more enjoyable to ride.” Ayden watched as her face flushed red. Satisfied he had gotten to her, he continued, “I mean real horses. My folks have a horse farm now.”

“No.” Charlie wanted to choke him. He had her all mixed up and was clearly enjoying every moment of it.

“No, you don’t think I’ll be a good ride or no, you have never ridden a horse?” Ayden sat next to her on the bed and pulled his boots on.

“No. I Have Never Been On A Horse.” Charlie spoke in all capitals and annunciated each word.

“You look like you want to strangle me, Charlie.” Ayden kissed the tip of her nose.

“I feel like biting you.” She huffed.

“Now that I’m all dressed for work you want to play?” Ayden stood quickly before she could get a hold on him. She practically lunged for him.

“You are going to get it, Wolf.” Charlie was so frustrated with his humor.

“And I can’t wait for you to give it to me, darlin’.” Ayden licked his lips. “I just love these new pajamas. They make me work more.”