She changed the subject, completely disregarding his words. So typical, it was predictable. She did it all the time, but now, more than ever, it made him think she knew the truth—that she was his and chose to ignore it. The reason she left. Why she ignored every one of his compliments and pretended he hadn’t said them. The worst part was he couldn’t do much about it. For the time being though, he had to get them back to where they’d been.
“Joce, yeah,” he answered, belatedly.
“Was she really upset I took off?”
“I think she understands.”
I don’t
, he thought then asked,
“You’ve called since you got here?”
“Today. Landon was upset, but…” Her words trailed off then she took a bite of food.
“It’s only natural. He’s your brother. He cares.”
“No, it’s my fault. Because of the way I left. I just…I knew if I discussed it with him he’d never let me come alone, so I left in the middle of the night, only left a note.”
He nodded, unwilling to speak, so she would continue.
“It’s more than that, too,” she said, sipping her martini.
She shrugged, and he could tell she wouldn’t say anymore unless he asked. He placed his hand over hers again. “You can tell me, Liv,” he urged. “Anything and everything, you know you can trust me. You know I won’t tell anyone.”
She sighed heavily then admitted, “When I was two, our dad was killed during the vampire werewolf war. Less than a year after, our mom died. Doctors said it was from a broken heart, from losing her male. I didn’t take any of it well.”
His eyes widened. Though he’d known her father had been killed during the war, he hadn’t known her mother followed such a short time later.
“Landon is four hundred years older, but I was just a baby. I was terrified I’d lose him too, so I wouldn’t let him out of my sight. I would latch onto him and go everywhere he went. If he tried to leave without me, I’d cry bloody murder. If I woke up and he wasn’t around, I’d suffer awful panic attacks, wail and scream until I threw up. It lasted until my pre-teen years. Even after that, I needed to know where he was at all times. He is my brother but acted like a father. He never complained and treated me like a princess no matter what he had to do, his responsibilities with the pack. He didn’t care. I was his number one because I needed him.”
She paused and gazed away from him and toward the ocean. Two emotions streamed from her at once: overwhelming guilt and fierce admiration—for her brother, for everything he’d done for her.
“He’s overprotective because of me. He sheltered me and kept the realities of our world from me because he thought I couldn’t handle it, but the fact is there was a time when I couldn’t even handle being away from the only relative I had left. On some level, I encouraged his behavior. I can’t ever repay him for what he’s done for me, and I can’t express how much it means to me, but I am over a century old now. I’m not afraid of the things I used to be afraid of, but I am afraid of living in a self-created fantasy.”
And there it was again, remorse gushing from her, and he finally understood why. She regretted not being strong enough, causing her brother to shield her from the realities of life.
“No one knows the sacrifices he’s made more than me. It’s why I don’t fight him.” She laughed humorlessly. “Well, I suppose I should rephrase that. When I found out all he kept from me about the Guardians and the war, I did fight him. I was angry, really angry in a way I’d never been before. I grew a temper and took it out on him. Honestly, looking back now, it wasn’t just him leaving me out of things. It was the fact he was so lucky to have found his fated and he denied her. You remember. That was around the time we met. After that, he started to include me in our breed’s affairs and even let me join the council.”
Pausing for a moment, then she said, “Still, I feel like it’s not enough. I know there are still things he keeps from me, and I want to be more involved. I want to date and—”
Date?
His heart slammed against ribs, so hard he thought it had cracked open his chest.
His mate
couldn’t
date. He wouldn’t tolerate it. His palms beginning to sweat, he fisted the napkin on his lap. Breathing deeply, he asked, “Don’t you want to wait to find your male?” He hoped his voice didn’t sound as panicked as he felt.
Lifting a brow, she asked, “Have you waited?”
He held her gaze for several moments then finally, unwilling to lie, he shook his head.
Despite the fact he hadn’t bedded another woman since he’d found her, he hadn’t waited before that. He’d taken pleasure in women hundreds of times, never searched for his mate, never thought twice about the fact she could’ve been waiting for him. When Olivia was alive and within a fifty mile radius of him, he’d slept with numerous women and the knowledge tormented him. He shouldn’t feel like he’d cheated or slighted her in any way, but the guilt was undeniable. She’d been right under his nose, and he hadn’t bothered to look.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?”
For not looking for you
, he thought, instead he uttered another truth. “For your loss, for losing your mom and dad at a young age, I know how you feel.”
Lifting her brows, she asked softly, “Do you?”
He nodded then reluctantly admitted, “I was orphaned at a young age.” He paused wondering if it was worth confiding in her knowing she’d pity him, knowing it’d only serve to further prove how different they were. “In the demon plane, there was a war much like the one brewing now. Lucas’s father taught and urged my kind to control their demons. He believed we could control ourselves and not live in fear of our demons taking over, and he was right. However, some disagreed. They preferred being reviled by other breeds. They preferred being feared. We called them Hellions. They killed Lucas’s family. We recently discovered his twin, David, is responsible for the rise of the Hellions as well as the rise of the Malums in this plane.”
His gaze drifted away from hers, unwilling to see the pity in them when he knew he would sense it spilling from her as well.
“At the time, Lucas created an army to combat the Hellions. During a raid of one of the homes of Hellions, they found me in a house nearby. My mother, father and brother were killed. I was four. I have no idea why they left me alive. Lucas took me in, treated me like his own.”
When he was done, he held his breath as he reached out to sense her feelings.
It wasn’t pity.
It was sorrow—for him.
His gaze darted to hers.
Tears rimmed her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Cain,” she said as a tear slid down her cheek.
He smiled then reached out to grasp her hand in his, again comforted by her touch. “Don’t cry, Liv. It was a long time ago.”
She wiped away a tear. “That’s why, isn’t it?”
Her question caught him off guard, the meaning just out of his reach. “Why what?”
“Why you chose to become a Guardian? Why you risk your life every night?”
Revealing his tragedy, she’d inadvertently understood why he’d chosen his path. “One of the reasons,” he said then admitted, “Yeah, the main reason…I couldn’t save my family, but I can save other families, other kids from becoming orphaned. I’ve been lucky though. Lucas has been my family.”
She nodded, and he waved the waitress for the check.
“How do you feel about doing some shopping?”
“Shopping?” she repeated, a look of confusion marring her face.
As the waitress neared, check in hand, Cain pulled out his wallet and handed over his credit card. “Yeah, I need some clothes. I didn’t bring anything with me. You can help me pick out some stuff.”
“Sure. We should go to Fira, the capital. They have tons of stores there.”
“Great. Then tomorrow night, I’ll take you dancing,” he promised, grinning widely. For the first time that night, it was a real grin. He knew because the barrier between them melted away.
“Wouldn’t you rather go dancing alone, so you can meet someone or—”
Jesus! Was she serious?
“No,” he said, firmly. “I came here to be with you.”
She blushed, then looked away from him. Hesitating only briefly, she smiled and nodded.
He was familiar with the rosy tint on her cheeks and loved it. It occurred often, anytime he complimented her, flirted with her, or told her a simple truth that expressed how he felt as he’d just done.
Then she did what she did best, she completely disregarded the compliment. “So my brother sent you?”
Grabbing her hand again, he squeezed it lightly. “No, I came here to spend time with
you
. Your brother didn’t send me.”
Confusion muddling her expression, she asked, “Are you assigned to guard me?”
Shaking his head, he patiently said, “No. I’m on vacation, remember? I’m not assigned to guard you, and your brother didn’t send me. I came here to be with
you
.”
Her piercing blue gaze fell away from his, in thought, then met his again. “I just don’t—”
Leaning in, placing both elbows on the table, his hand still firmly holding hers, he asked, “You don’t understand why a man wants to spend time with a beautiful woman?”
Eyes widening, her cheeks turned a rosier shade.
He bit his tongue so he wouldn’t chuckle. He didn’t find her discomfort amusing, but it was about time she got used to it. She was his. He would have her. When she accepted him, he planned on spending the rest of his life complimenting her.
The waitress returned with his card and receipt. Releasing her hand, he took both, added the tip, signed the receipt then shoved his copy and card in his pocket.
“But—”
“But you don’t want me here?” he wondered aloud.
“No, I just—”
He didn’t let her speak. “No, you don’t want me here?”
Looking flustered, she tried again, “That’s not what I meant. I just—”
“Good. Let’s go,” he said then stood quickly silencing any other rebuttals.
Grabbing her hand again, he pulled her toward him and led her to their car.
Chapter 8
Three and a half months ago
The end of his shift. Finally.
It’d been so long. Ten hours he’d been hunting. Ten hours since he’d seen her.
He hated what he’d come to, but he had no other choice, so he closed his eyes and materialized in Olivia’s bedroom, his gaze gravitating to the bed where her sleeping figure lay.
His heartbeat pounding at the base of his neck, he sighed in relief, finally having glimpsed her.
His work had once been his salvation. He’d taken solace in knowing he fought for justice in honor of the family he had lost.
That all changed with his first glimpse of her.
His nights became an agony of craving, a countdown. Each night he counted the hours until he saw her again.
His life became a waiting game: waiting to steal a glance, sometimes even a touch.
It was the way it had to be because she needed time. Time once seemed to fly, now crawled at a snail’s pace, taunting him. He lived in a hell where his mate was just within reach yet untouchable, so he wasn’t proud of what he’d become—a voyeur, but he had no other choice. He needed her presence to soothe him.
After his long shifts, when everyone was at rest, he appeared in her room and watched without her consent.
He’d been there every night for weeks; regardless, he knew nothing of her room; couldn’t describe the color of the walls or furniture. He had no idea if she had an en suite bathroom or the size of her closet, but he had memorized the angelic features of her face, the glow of her skin in the moonlight and the small mole on the corner of her lip. He knew she kicked off her sheets often. It made her shiver moments later, but she still did it, and he knew she tossed and turned and mumbled incoherently in her sleep.
His voyeurism was salvation, satisfying his minimal needs. It wasn’t enough, not for him. Honestly, he didn’t know how much longer he could withstand it, being so close and yet so far away. Torture of the worst kind, a torture he suffered gladly night after night because his mate needed time.
As his gaze moved to her, he wondered once again how it was possible for anyone be so beautiful, so perfect, how it was possible any female had been created just for him.
What he would give for just one touch, just to feel her silky skin against his?
Anything and everything.
But things remained stagnant, as they had for weeks. She didn’t know she belonged to him, granted to him by fate. She didn’t know she was his. It was his privilege to know, his duty to tell her, but he couldn’t, not just yet. She needed time.
Only minutes had lapsed in her presence, yet he was overwhelmed with his desire to touch her, to feel her skin against the palm of his hand. A desire so deep and primal, his arm extended regardless of his will. His fingers so close, he could feel the warmth permeating her body. He caught himself before he was discovered, and slowly and regretfully withdrew his hand.
She’s not ready
, he reminded himself.
She needs time.
The battle inside him waged and he continued fighting his desire for her. Still, he tilted his head back as if in surrender and thanked God, heaven and fate for his precious gift—his Olivia.
Chapter 9
Because it was a small island with only few roads, the drive to Fira seemed longer than it should. She was still in shock over his arrival and still couldn’t understand why he’d come.
I came here to be with you,
his words continued to replay in her mind. While they partially explained why he had come, they also surged emotions in her she wanted to forget.
Her feelings for him were her reason for leaving home, but he’d found her. There was no escaping him now without telling him the real reason she left. It would hurt him to hear the truth, and she couldn’t stand to see the look on his face, the torment and pain she witnessed before.
Something had happened to him while she’d been away, something he wasn’t revealing. He’d come to her needing a friend, and she didn’t have the heart to turn away the man she loved when he needed her the most.
They were friends and had been for months. She wasn’t a fool to think he didn’t enjoy her company, but their relationship was what it had always been, a friendship, and it wouldn’t lead where her heart wanted it to go.