Avoiding Amy Jackson (24 page)

Lizzy glances over her shoulder at me and her eyes go wide in surprise as she mouths, “What the hell?” She’s obviously just as puzzled as I am. I think pregnancy just caused my best friend to have a nervous breakdown over a coffee commercial
.

“What’s wrong with Ellen?” James’s voice grabs my attention. He’s leaning against my treadmill in all of his workout glory, his cut-off grey t-shirt soaked with sweat and showcasing his muscular arms. I watch a small drop of perspiration roll down his cheek and land on his arm.

I’ve never wanted to be drop of sweat
so badly in my life.

My eyes move up to his and find his head cocked to the side studying me curiously.

“Huh?” I croak out.

“What’s wrong with Ellen?”

“Something is wrong with Ellen?” Trent’s voice is filled with concern as he walks towards us, a basketball tucked under his arm.

“Nothing is wrong with Ellen. Well, nothing that you should worry about. She just started crying about something earlier. Lizzy took her to get some water and fresh air.” I turn off my treadmill and take a sip from my water bottle.

Trent runs his hand through his jet-black hair with frustration, exhaling heavily. “I can only imagine. Was it the soup commercial again? I thought they stopped playing the one with the kid building the snowman. That one gets her every time.”

“Soup commercial?” James asks with confusion, his brow scrunched down.

“Yeah, you heard me right. This pregnancy has Ellen crying at the craziest shit. I’m pretty sure she’s pissed at me right now because I told her she looked adorable and that I couldn’t believe how much her belly has grown in the past few weeks. Apparently, I have no clue how to talk to my pregnant fiancée without getting her irate.” Trent’s smile is overflowing with self-deprecation. He’s clearly at a loss as to what to say or do around Ellen these days. She’s proving to be quite the difficult little ball of pregnancy as she nears the end of her third trimester.

“She was actually crying about some coffee commercial where a soldier came home and his wife had coffee ready for him.” I pat Trent on the back as I step down from the treadmill, giving him a sympathetic smile.

I feel kind of bad for the poor bastard. I love my best friend, but she has truly gone bat-shit crazy since she got knocked up. What in the hell is in those pregnancy hormones that has her crying one minute and scowling at everyone the next?

“I knew that one would get her!
Dammit!
I should just cancel cable until after she has Lucy.”

“Pregnant women are like an enigma. I can’t believe Ellen is crying over coffee and
soup
commercials.” James throws a deliberate grin in my direction.

“What?” I probe him as my mind tries to figure out what has him so tickled.

He just shrugs his shoulders, releasing that all too familiar arrogant grin my way as he rocks back and forth on his feet, his hands resting on his hips.

“Why do you keep…?” My voice goes quiet as my mind thinks back…
way, way back
. Back to the night of the charity golf event. Back to the night where I might have said
soup-can cock
in reference to the thick girth he’s been blessed with.

Son of a bitch!

I can’t believe I forgot about that reference, and now I can’t believe that James is standing there looking all smug and proud of himself as he watches me come to the realization of what that confident smirk is all about.

“You. Are. A. Dickhead,” I scoff before brushing past him in a fury of irascibility. He seizes my wrist, dragging me back to his hard chest, holding me tight against him. I can feel the combination of warm heat from his chest and coolness from his sweat-soaked t-shirt through my cotton tank.

“I was just screwing with you, sweetheart.” His warm breath pushes strands from my ponytail against my neck. “Although, I can’t deny that I loved that you complimented my cock that night.” His husky voice causes shivers to spread across my treacherous body.

I abruptly turn around and swat his hands away from my waist. “Of course you did, but just remember I was drunk. My eyes we’re probably betraying me, making you look bigger and better than what you really are.” I say each word with precision. His smile gets wider, showcasing my favorite dimple. He tries to grip my waist again, to pull my body against him, but I step out of his reach. “No funny business!” My stupid voice is filled with girlish delight.

It’s like my whole body is against me!

“Now stop trying to harass me so I can go make sure Ellen isn’t still crying about fictional coffee people.” I glance over at Trent, who was amusedly observing the banter between James and me. His reaction is a telling smile and a wink with his blue eyes.

Assholes.

I flip them both off and decide it is in my best interest to walk away before either can make any more stupid comments. I briskly stride off to see if Lizzy has managed to get Ellen calmed down.

I find them sitting on one of the plastic sofas in the ladies’ locker room, giggling about something. Ellen is no longer bawling, but her eyes are still red-rimmed, noticeable remnants of her sob fest. My best friend has become a walking pregnancy cliché. She’s so hopped up on hormones that I’m not sure what will set her off next. One look, one heartfelt commercial, one ill-worded comment about her pregnant belly and she could be wailing like a lunatic or ready to throw down like Mike Tyson.

I plop down next to them. The two sisters are chatting animatedly about Lucy’s nursery and planning Ellen’s baby shower. Lizzy and Ellen have developed such a close relationship over the past several months. This is a huge transformation from the way they were prior to Lizzy’s relocation from Louisville. Lizzy and Ellen are complete opposites and used to barely speak to each other. But now, everything has changed for the better. Sisters should be close, sisters should share everything with each other, and finally, that’s what these two wonderful ladies have. I’m just thankful that not only have they grown close, but we’ve all grown close. Lizzy and Ellen are like sisters to me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ellen wipes her nose with the tissue that’s crumpled up in her hand. “Did you happen to see Trent out there? I’ve been giving him the cold shoulder all day.” Her eyes flash with sadness and start to fill with tears again.

For fuck’s sake!
When is her due date again?

I’m not sure how much longer I can deal with this hormonal woman. She’s one personality short of becoming the real-life Sybil. “That’s enough crying. I’m pretty sure you met your pregnant sob quota for the week before you even stepped off the treadmill.”

She peers up at me, her eyes still watery, but a teeny tiny smile threatens the corners of her lips.

I lean beside her, nudging my shoulder against hers. “This pregnancy has got you ten shades of crazy.”

Her lips start to turn down, her eyes squinting at me in displeasure.

“I’m well aware that my little comment could be the one thing that sets you off again, but how about you try to tone down the rage over there, Sybil. You’re one outburst away from being inducted into the Crazy-Train Hall of Fame.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder, squeezing gently. “Seriously, it’s all good. You know I love you and I’m always here for you, even if it’s to talk about your fictional coffee commercial friends.”

Lizzy sputters a laugh and I glance around Ellen to see hilarity in her eyes.

“Anyways, I did just so happen to see your baby daddy. He was worried about you and also slightly at a loss as to how to make you not pissed at him. He’s kind of feeling like he’s walking on eggshells with you all hopped up on pregnancy hormones. If our little Lucy is anything like her mother, I think we’re all going to have our hands full.”

A small laugh escapes Ellen’s lips. “Poor Trent. He’s been nothing but sweet to me and I get pissed at him for no good reason.”

I shrug my shoulders and wave my hand, encouraging her not to worry. “Trent’s a big boy. He can handle it. Anyways, I think you need to bust his balls every now and again. Keeps him on his toes. It’s actually a nice change of pace from you constantly gazing at him like he walks on water.”

Lizzy raises her hand. “I agree with Amy. Every man could use some good old-fashion ball-busting from time to time.”

Ellen glances back and forth between us, her eyes starting to water again.

Again?

I’ve seen Ellen cry more times in the past hour than I’ve seen her cry throughout our entire friendship. I don’t think she cried this much after she found her ex-fiancé balls deep in another woman.

“I love you both so much,” she exclaims with a slight tremble to her lip. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” She wraps her arms around us, drawing Lizzy and me in for a group hug.

We both chuckle softly at her sugary-sweet display of affection.

What can I say? My best—
and extremely hormonal, pregnant
—friend Ellen has more personalities than MTV has reality shows. She’s a walking, talking, sobbing, scowling, bipolar, pregnant, crazy lady.

Good thing I love her so much.

“All right.” Ellen lets go of us and wipes her eyes. “We need to talk about something that isn’t going to make me cry,” she says with a throaty laugh. “This doesn’t leave us with much, seeing as I cry at
everything
these days, but how about we talk about Amy’s latest hook-up?” She peers over at me in anticipation.

My latest hook-up? When was my last hook-up?

I start racking my brain and come to the slightly unsettling realization that I haven’t hooked up with anyone since…
November
. This means that it’s literally been over five months since I’ve received a good, hard pounding. My jaw drops in shock and my eyes go wide as I make eye contact with Ellen. “Um…” I bite down on my bottom lip and abruptly yank my eyes away from hers when I notice that she’s studying me closely.

“Amy?” Ellen questions with inquisitiveness. “What’s with the shocked look on your face?”

“Well…I… Well…I’m shocked because I just realized I haven’t hooked up with anyone in a while.” I stumble over my words, my mind still trying to grasp the mere idea that the only orgasms I’ve received in over a five-month time frame have been self-induced.

“A while? Like, how long are we talking here?”

I peek over at Lizzy and her smile is damn near blinding me.
Bitch.

I hold five fingers up.

“Five days?”

I shake my head.

“Five weeks?”

I slowly shake my head again.

Ellen’s jaw nearly hits the floor. “Five
months
?” she blurts out loud enough for the entire gym to hear. I nod my head as I wince slightly from a combination of Ellen’s deafeningly loud voice and the fact that I’ve somehow managed to get myself into some sort of sex drought.

“Are you sick?” Ellen places her hand on my forehead, observing me with concern.

I swat her hand away. “No, I’m not sick. I’ve just been busy with work and hanging out with my friends and—”

Ellen immediately holds up one hand, stopping me in my tracks. “Your friends? What friends? I know you haven’t been hanging out with me, seeing as I’m fatter than a dairy cow. Has she been hanging out with you, Lizzy?”

“Nope. Definitely not with me.” Lizzy has a telling look about her. She’s practically giddy with enjoyment at this entire conversation.

“Then who in the hell are you hanging out with?” Ellen’s eyes are scrutinizing my every move. I’m not quite sure how to answer this question. Obviously, I’ve been spending a lot of time with James.

You spend all of your time with James.

I take a deep breath, dramatically blowing the air from lips.

Lizzy decides to speak on my behalf and chimes in. “She’s been spending all of her time with James.” She waggles her eyebrows encouragingly.

Ellen’s head snaps back in my direction and a giant grin spreads across her face. She shoves my shoulder with her arm. “You have got to be kidding me! Is there something you’re not telling me? I mean, I know he stayed the night at your apartment that one time, but what else is going on?”

“It’s not like that between James and me. We are just
friends
.”

Lizzy immediately chimes in. “Yeah, friends who have sleepovers after watching scary movies and stay up on the phone all hours of the night. Friends who call each other in the middle of their dates and order takeout at least three times a week.”

Why is Lizzy such a nosy, prying bitch?

My eyes glare at her as I feel my cheeks flush a little at the idea of James in my bed.

Am I honestly blushing in regards to James? I mean, come on! How old am I? I’m not the type of girl who blushes. I’m notorious for being selfish and greedy and demanding. I don’t blush. I don’t get nervous. I take men by the balls and tell them exactly what I want from them, and if they can’t give me that, then I leave their asses in the dust.

“Why is your face all red?
Is Amy Jackson blushing?
Holy crap, this is something I never thought I would see!” Ellen claps her hands together in excitement; her pregnant ass bounces up and down on the plastic couch.

I stand up hastily. “That’s it! I’m out of here!”

“Amy! Don’t be like that!” Lizzy yells from behind me as I stalk towards my gym locker.

I hold my middle finger up in the air and keep on walking. I can hear Lizzy and Ellen giggling faintly behind me.
Assholes.

I’m not even sure why I’m mad right now. And why was I blushing? My cheeks turned bright red at the thought of James lying next to me in my bed. My thoughts went directly to how sexy he looked in his black boxer briefs, every single muscular contour on full display.

And his stupid, awesome sex hair.

And that one perfect dimple.

And those intense emerald eyes.

What is going on right now?
James is my friend.
Our relationship is purely platonic,
right?