Autumn's Hope (Cowboy Seasons) (5 page)

“I
wanted to say hi to you. I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

“Oh.
Well, hi. We’ve seen each other almost every day. I’ve been really busy and you
and Dee Ann…”

“Dee
Ann and I have been spending a lot of time together. She’s good at what she
does.”

Autumn
didn’t want to know what he meant. It was only going to slice her heart into
pieces. Taking a sip of her tea, she studied him over the rim of the cup. He
looked like the type of cowboy a girl would dream of with his broad shoulders
and strong chiseled jaw. She wanted to caress his jawline and touch his
masculine lips.

“Autumn?”

“What?”

“I
asked you when your restaurant was opening. Love, are you okay? You look
flushed.”

Love
,
if only he meant it. She was being foolish. “As soon as I get the supplies
ordered I’m going to advertise a grand opening. It’ll probably be in a week and
a half.”

“That’s
exciting. I wish you the best of luck.” He took a step toward her.

“Oh,
there you are, Jonas.” Dee Ann hurried into the kitchen and was immediately by
his side, smiling. “I saw your truck.”

“Hey,
good to see you. What’s going on at Colt’s place?” Jonas asked, turning his
full attention on Dee Ann.

“Well,
handsome, that’s why I’m here. I came to find you. I need your help.”

Autumn
felt left out. It was always the same when Jonas and Dee Ann were together. He
probably called Dee Ann “love” too. It didn’t matter how many times she told
herself it was for the best, it still stung.

“I
have some horses I need to put with you.” Dee Ann smiled sweetly.

Autumn
had to concede that she liked Dee Ann. “Well, I’ll leave you two to talk. I
have a few errands to run.” She gave Dee Ann a quick smile and intended to not
even look at Jonas but the pull she felt between them wouldn’t allow her to
glance away. Their gazes held but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“Good
to see you, Autumn.” His voice had a way of wrapping around her.

“Have
a good day you two.” She sailed out of there as fast as she could. A lump
formed in her throat as she climbed the stairs. She wasn’t going to run any
errands; she was going to hide in her room until they were gone. It amazed her
how easily she could feel down about herself. It hadn’t been that way before
she became pregnant. Hell, her future had looked almost too bright. She needed
to stay focused and provide for her little one.

She
must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, she heard laughter
downstairs. It was Dee Ann’s lilting laugh. Autumn got up off the bed, wanting
to know what was going on. She opened her door but didn’t go down the stairs.
Jonas was down there, she could hear him laughing too.

“We
did good today,” he said.

“We
sure did. We make quite the pair. I’m going to miss you,” Dee Ann said sounding
sad.

“I’ll
miss you too. We’ll keep in touch.”

“You
better, I want to know how our girl is fairing. You’ll take good care of her?”

“She’s
in good hands. I’ll watch over her.”

Autumn
wondered who their girl was. Probably a mare. She quietly closed her door and
went back to bed.

* * * *

It
was harder than she thought to say good bye to Dee Ann, even after they
promised to keep in touch. The restaurant would be opening in three days, but
for now the silence in the apartments pervaded all of her senses and she
couldn’t stand it anymore. Grabbing a light sweater, she headed out to The
Carlston
Diner, hoping to talk to Shayna. She’d been trying
to persuade her to come and work at her new place.

Shayna
gave her a big smile when she sat at the counter. “How’s it going, Autumn?” She
poured a cup of coffee and put it in front of Autumn.

“Grand
opening is in three days. I hired the staff but I’d still love to have you.”

“Thanks
for the offer again but like I told you, I’ve been working here since forever
and it wouldn’t be right for me to jump ship.”

Loyalty
was one of the reasons Autumn wanted Shayna to work for her. “Can’t hurt to
ask.”

Shayna
winked at her. “You can ask, but the answer is always going to be the same.”

Autumn
nodded. It felt good to be out and about. She sipped her coffee and made mental
notes of what still needed to be done. She repeatedly tried to come up with a
quirky new name for the restaurant. All she could think of was Autumn, not that
it mattered. A new sign for the restaurant wasn’t in her budget at the moment.
Everything cost more than she anticipated. Everyone knew it was a vegetarian
restaurant by now anyway.

It
had lifted her spirits to cook again. It was her first love and her heart felt
at home in her place. Going over her menu and cooking the dishes made her both
thrilled and a bit sad. The sadness came from having no one to share her
happiness with.

Three
more days and she’d have no time to think about anything but her customers. It
was something she looked forward to. She wasn’t usually one for daydreams but
they had been nonstop the last few weeks and they all starred a certain cowboy.
A cowboy she hadn’t seen since Dee Ann left.

Autumn
drank her coffee and thanked Shayna. She had a slight spring in her step
walking out of the restaurant. She needed to think of the positive instead of
the negative. No more mooning over a man who wasn’t around. She had plenty to
look forward to.

She
spotted a huge truck in front of her place and frowned, wondering what was
going on. She wasn’t expecting a delivery. Two workmen were on ladders taking
down the Carlston Bar and Grill sign and her heart sunk. She was about to yell
up at them when Jonas came around the front of the truck.

“Easy
guys, we might have to put that sign back up,” he called seemingly unaware of
her presence.

“Jonas?”
Her voice suddenly became heavy. The back of her throat hurt and she knew a
flood of tears were soon to follow. “Why?”

Jonas
studied her for a moment, and then muttered, “Oh hell.” He grabbed her hand and
led her to the back of the truck and opened the door. “I didn’t mean to upset
you. You have no use for this sign anymore.”

She
snatched her hand away. Her eyes grew moist and she swallowed hard. “I don’t
understand.” She was at the point of either hitting him or crying. She needed
an explanation.

“I
figured bar and grill didn’t match your style of restaurant.”

“It’s
my restaurant! You can’t just come here and rip down the sign.” Pain filled
her. She didn’t even look in the truck. She just stiffly walked past him and
the workers and hurried into her place. She didn’t need his stupid cows, so he took
down her sign? Autumn sat at the first table and closed her eyes. The baby
kicked. She’d begun to show but her loose clothing covered her secret for now.
“You’re right, he needs a good kick.”

The
door opened but she refused to look up. She already knew who it was. She
clasped her hands on the table and waited. If he had something to say she hoped
he’d get on with it and get out.

“I
didn’t mean to upset you, love.” Jonas sat down next to her and took her dainty
hand in his rugged one. “I thought you’d be happy.”

She
did a double take. He appeared so sincere, but she didn’t believe him. “Pleased
as punch.” She pulled her hand back. “Now go.”

“Dee
Ann—”

“Oh,
so this is about Dee Ann. Listen, she doesn’t live here anymore so you have no
reason to hang around.”

Jonas
stood and stared at her, the expression on his face was one of hurt. “You’ve
got it wrong. But I can see I’m just upsetting you so I’ll go.” He turned and
walked out, taking the day’s sunshine with him.

Sitting
at the table, she rubbed the hand that he’d held and wondered what was going on.
She’d never gotten an answer about her sign. It didn’t matter; everyone knew
where her restaurant was located.

The
door opened again and she hoped it was Jonas but it wasn’t.

“It’s
ready if you want to see it,” one of the workmen told her.

Confused,
she stared at the man then stood up and went outside. There was a bit of a
crowd on the sidewalk, but the only person she really saw was Jonas smiling
hesitantly at her. Her heart thumped a she looked up. A beautiful hand carved
sign hung where the old sign was. It said Autumn’s Harvest. Below the words was
a giant cornucopia filled with carved vegetables. Her restaurant had a name.
The tears she’d been holding back began to fall.

She
sensed his presence beside her. She turned and walked into his arms, clinging
to him. The baby kicked and she tried to pull away.

“I
already know,” he whispered in her ear as he held her tightly against him.

She
froze in his arms not knowing what to do or say. How could he have known? No
one knew, or so she thought. No wonder he was being nice to her. He felt sorry
for her.

Slowly
she withdrew, mumbling her thanks to him. Her hands began to shake and she
needed to be alone. She avoided his gaze and went inside, locking the door
behind her. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep. Every nerve in her
body screamed and they were all screaming different things. The turmoil became
too much and she was suddenly queasy. Racing to the bathroom, she was sick. She
hadn’t eaten much so dry heaves took over and it became painful. She didn’t
dare leave the bathroom, so she sat on the floor with her back against the tub.

Finally,
her stomach calmed and she stood, grabbed a washcloth and wet it. The cool
cloth against her skin felt wonderful. Her tears had stopped and she brushed
her teeth without looking in the mirror. She knew how bad she probably looked and
didn’t want to confirm it.

The
gold and russet quilt on her bed called to her and she slipped under it. Her
grandmother had made it for her and it was full of good memories. She waited
for the soothing feeling she usually got from wrapping herself in it but it
never came. She heard a knock on the front door, but she ignored it and the
phone ringing. After a while all was silent and this time she welcomed the
quiet.

* * * *

Jonas’
heart felt out of sorts. He thought he was doing a good thing by Autumn but
somehow he’d gotten it all wrong. But, he’d never gotten it right with a female
before either. Bone-headed, that’s what he was, pure and simple, and he
shouldn’t have listened to Dee Ann. Autumn was definitely not interested in
him.

She
didn’t act the least bit happy when he mentioned the baby. Hell, she wouldn’t
even look at him. What about the father? He really didn’t know much about
Autumn, but he thought they were growing close. What did he really know about
women though? In fact, all contact with women since he got back from Afghanistan
had ended in disaster.

His
chest and left side were scarred, but a few women seemed to find those scars
acceptable. It wasn’t until he took off his pants and his left hip and thigh
came into view that they recoiled.

Shrapnel,
damn shrapnel. At first, he felt lucky to have to use of his leg. It had taken
a few surgeries, a lot of physical therapy and a whole barrelful of sheer will
to be able to walk again. He’d been so proud of himself, but in time his pride took
such a beating that he didn’t dare date anymore. He eyed the four horses he’d taken
in the night before. They were part of a herd of twenty that were rescued. They
were all rib-showing, emaciated and the recent four were lame. The owner named
them, Ellie, Gilley, Zeus and Lacey, but didn’t bother to feed them. He’d never
understand some humans.

Usually
they got worse fast and within a month they usually went down and were hard to
get up, but he willed them to get better. Every once in a while he’d meet a
horse with the same stubborn will to survive that he had and it pleased him
beyond measure. Either way he was glad to be there for these horses until the
end. It was a hard road, in the end it made him feel good inside. He’d come
home from the military feeling useless, but eventually found something important
to do. These horses needed him.

Lacey
whinnied at him, so he went right over and stroked her muzzle. He felt a
kinship with her for some reason and his heart hurt for her. Her brown coat was
dull and patches of hair were missing. “We’ll get you looking pretty again.
Don’t you worry.” She stared at him with her big dark eyes as though she
understood him. It was a precious thing to have a horse’s trust. She seemed to
know that he was there to help her.

He
heard a cry and a crash from inside the barn. His heart raced and his gut
clenched as he ran to see which horse was in trouble.

Zeus
had gone down. He lay in his stall struggling to get back up. Watching broke
Jonas’ heart. He knew how it would end.

Quickly,
he let himself into the stall and tried to quiet Zeus. The poor horse stopped
struggling and labored to breathe. Jonas sat on the ground to comfort the dying
animal. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone and called Holden.