Autumn's Hope (Cowboy Seasons) (16 page)

He
wished he knew what was going on. It was someone with a vendetta but the
sheriff never acted as though he cared. Jonas groaned going up the porch steps.
He eased the door open, the light still on. Something flew by his head and he
instinctively ducked. “What the heck?”

He
bent down and picked up a wad of yarn and stared at Autumn. Her expression was
anything but happy. “Bad day?”

Her
bottom lip quivered. “I can’t make a baby blanket. What kind of mother can’t
make a blanket?”

“Well
here’s your problem. You only have this little metal thing. You need two
knitting needles to knit.” He brought the bundle over to Autumn.

She
flung it back at him. “A lot you know. I’m not knitting, I’m crocheting. I’ve
been at it all day. I started it yesterday but got confused so I was determined
to make it work today. The instructions make no sense. I mean what the hell is
a single crochet and a double crochet? Oh and this
yo
business is unreal.”

A
deep rumble started in his chest and he laughed loud and hard. Autumn narrowed
her eyes and it had him laughing all the more. “I’m sorry.”

He
plopped down next to her on the couch and finally stopped laughing. “It sounds
like we both had bad days.”

Immediately
her eyes filled with concern. “What happened? You didn’t say much when you
called.”

He
took her small hand in his and stoked it with his thumb. “Two horses are dead
and a lot of the fencing needs to be replaced. I spent most of the day rounding
up horses.”

Her
blue eyes widened. “Does your leg hurt? Can I help?”

His
heart expanded. There was not one ounce of pity in her words only concern. He
wondered if she’d be happy with a loving relationship everywhere except in bed,
naked. She was about to have a child so that would take care of her maternal
nature. Not that he couldn’t father a child, he wouldn’t allow her to get that
close.

“Just
let me hold you, Fall. I need to feel your baby moving.”

She
obliged by leaning against him, in the circle if his arms. He took in a sharp
breath, his need for her in his bed became evident. Thankfully she didn’t seem
to notice. He wanted to chuckle as he thought of her throwing the yarn at him.
Still his spitfire. He pulled her softness closer to him.

The
baby moved under his hands and joy surged through him. His weariness melted
away to be replaced by awe.

“The
baby always moves when you are near,” Autumn said shyly.

He
kissed the side of her neck and then the hollow between her neck and shoulder.
She shivered and he kissed her again. His hands stoked her hard belly. She fit
him like no other. He went to kiss her again and she turned her head giving him
her lips, her delectable lips. Jonas’ heart beat faster when she opened her
mouth for him. He deepened the kiss and was rewarded with a deep moan from her.

His
hands moved to her breasts and she froze. He silently swore to himself and
began to move his hands away.

“Don’t.
Don’t stop.”

He
found her hard nipples under his fingers and rolled both between his thumb and
index finger at the same time. She arched her back pushing her breasts against
his hands.

“Oh,
Jonas it’s been so long since I’ve been touched like this. You make me feel so
good.”

He
turned her so that she faced him. He kissed her deeply while unbuttoning her
shirt. He had it off in a flash, and her creamy skin put him over the edge. Her
large breasts were encased in a functional white bra even though he’d imagined
black lace. He removed it and put his lips around one of her nipples. Her
panting and squirming egged him on. He didn’t realize until it was done that
she had unbuttoned his shirt.

Quickly
he drew back and buttoned up. “Things are complicated enough between us. I
don’t think…” He handed the bra and shirt to her and looked away. “You should
probably get dressed.” The hurt on her face went straight to his heart.

“Jonas?
I don’t understand.”

“That’s
the problem.” He walked out the front door.

* * * *

A
knife to the heart would have felt better than Jonas pulling away and Autumn didn’t
know how much more she could take. He initiated things with his kissing, and
touching her breasts. Damn him, how did he always make her feel guilty? All she
wanted now was a hot shower and some sleep. She wasn’t in the mood to be around
when he came back in and she certainly didn’t want to be awake when Dee Ann
came back. How long was Dee Ann staying? She never mentioned home or her
veterinarian practice.

It
wasn’t her business. If only she could step off this wild rollercoaster. The
more she thought about it the madder she got. How was she supposed to
understand Jonas’ rejection if he never talked to her about what was going on
in his head? If he had problems then he shouldn’t be touching her and getting
her aroused to the point of no return.

Didn’t
he want her? Didn’t he trust her? It was a hard blow and her head ached.

The
yarn lay on the table and she smiled a sad smile. She grabbed it up with the
instruction book. A quick shower and she sat in bed, learning to crochet. There
must be something she was missing in the instructions.

Autumn
slipped out of bed. Her balance wasn’t the best. Time to herself, more time to
herself and perhaps it would be good and cathartic. She learned not to let
Jonas near her again. Some lessons were hard learned.

Thankfully,
no one disturbed her. Autumn woke to a bright sunny day. The chill of the floor
startled her and she quickly slid her slippers on. An early frost was never
good for farmers. Grabbing her robe, she peered out her window and her
shoulders relaxed. It didn’t appear that it was so cold outside.

She
ambled out to the great room, already lit in all the sun’s glory. No one seemed
to be around. Looking at the clock, she smiled. She slept in. Not that it
mattered what time she got up these days. She checked the thermostat and
shuddered; it was only fifty degrees in the house. Her pregnancy had her
feeling warmer than usual but this was a bit extreme. She programed it to
sixty-eight degrees and was pleased at the sound of the furnace kicking on.

Autumn
went back into the bedroom, got dressed and grabbed her baby blanket. She
smiled. Today was going to be a good day. She’d made a breakthrough on the
instructions. No more throwing it against the wall.

She
saw the dreaded carafe of decaf coffee and the burnt toast on the table for
her. No doubt it was all cold. Her stomach rumbled in protest. She’d make her
own. Cooking relaxed her and soon she had a plate of scrambled eggs, nicely
browned toast, and slices of apples. She took that and a mug of herbal tea and
sat at the kitchen table. It was so much better than what she’d been eating for
breakfast.

She
was just about done when the door opened. She frowned when she spotted Bob. He
gave her one of his slimy smiles which she ignored.

“You
shouldn’t be off the couch. You know Stone don’t ya? ”He nodded toward Stone
who followed him into the house. Bob came toward her and took her elbow,
practically forcing her to stand up. “Let’s get you settled on the couch.”

His
fetid breath almost made her sick and she quickly went to the couch. “Nice to
see you, Stone.”

Stone
grinned and his gray eyes sparkled. “I hope I’m not bothering you, but I need
some advice.”

Autumn
sat on the couch and motioned for Stone to sit in a chair. “What type of
advice?”

Stone
turned his head and stared at Bob until Bob turned slightly red and let himself
out. “I don’t like that guy.”

“Me
neither, but Jonas likes him.”

“Has
Jonas seen the way he looks at you?”

She
shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

Stone
shifted in his seat. “I have a chance to see the one that got away and I don’t know
if I should take the chance.”

“The
one that got away?”

“Ten
years ago I was engaged to my high school girl. I made a few mistakes and she
never talked to me again. She lives in Texas and I always assumed that she went
on in life, but I was able to finally track her down and she’s not married.”

“Have
you tried to call her?”

“She’d
hang up on me. I married someone else instead of her.”

Autumn’s
brow furrowed. “You lost me.”

Stone
sighed. “I went away to college. She did too but to a different college. I was
out drinking with the guys and I woke up with a girl next to me. Damn, she
ended up pregnant and I had to break it off with Winter.”

She
recognized the agony in his eyes. “You still love her.”

“Never
stopped. I never thought I’d have another chance. I always pictured her married
surrounded by kids. She’s a tour agent and I could get on her tour. It’s a
cruise to Alaska.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Truthfully, I know I don’t
have a prayer of ever winning her back but there is the slightest hope and I’d
never be able to live with myself if I didn’t try.”

“You
don’t need my advice, Stone. You just needed to talk it out. You go get her and
bring her home.”

“What
if she doesn’t want me?”

“Aw,
Stone, you’ll be fine, just be your charming self.”

He
smiled and rose from his chair, leaning over and kissing her cheek. “Thanks for
listening.”

“I
hope to meet her someday.”

“You
kissing my girl?” Jonas stepped into the house and winked at her.

“You’d
better lay claim to her before someone else does,” Stone answered. He shook
Jonas’ hand and gave Autumn a grateful smile. “I’ll be out of town for a
while.”

“Need
me to look after you place?”

“I
have the horses at Holden’s new barn. My men can take care of the cattle.
Thanks.”

“Good
luck,” she called as he left the house.

“What
was that all about? Bob said you two had been alone for a long time.”

She
rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m not your girl. You made that point
loud and clear yesterday. Stone wanted female advice and Bob is an ass.” She
wanted to laugh when his eyes widened. “Don’t look so surprised. You may not
believe me but I did get your message. You don’t want me and that’s fine.” His
face and eyes hardened and she knew that she hurt him but she didn’t care.

“I
made a mistake.”

Her
heart jumped. For a moment she wished that the mistake was rejecting her,
hurting her.

“Bob
led me to believe…”

“That’s
your problem. You believe others before me. I don’t like the way Bob looks at
me or touches me. Don’t send him up to the house to help me in any way. Why
would you care anyway if Stone was interested in me? It’s not like it’s some
kind of booty call.”

He
crossed his arms and stared at her. He didn’t need to say a word, his cold
expression and narrowed eyes said it all.

“You
did think that.” Her heart dropped. “Oh, how could you? Why? Why would you
think that of me?”

He
didn’t answer and her heart shattered. Somehow in the back of her mind she
thought they’d end up together. How stupid could she be? He didn’t want her. No
one really wanted her. She really couldn’t blame him. He told her again and
again that they didn’t have a future.

Her
throat clogged and her eyes burned. She had to clasp her hands to stop them
from shaking. “I’ll tell you this much, Jonas. I’ve slept with only two people
in my life. My high school boyfriend and the faceless father of my child. I
went out to celebrate my graduation from culinary school. I don’t know what
happened. I only remember having two drinks and waking up in a strange motel a
couple towns over. I had bruises all over me and I could hardly walk. I looked
in the mirror and I didn’t recognize myself.

“I
called a girlfriend and she came and got me. She wanted me to call the police
but I refused. It would have just upset my mother. Rumors spread in my little
town and suddenly I went from being a person to be proud of to a person who was
shamed.”

She
thought she saw a flicker of compassion in his eyes but she wasn’t sure. Autumn
started to get up and Jonas’ hand was right there to help her. She pushed his
hand away and got up herself. Standing straight and tall she lifted her chin.
No one was going to make her feel ashamed again. “I am a good person with a
loving heart and you’d do well to remember that.”

Turning
around she walked into her bedroom and closed the door. Her bed beckoned to her
but she refused to bury herself in it. Instead she picked up the phone and
called Richard.

He
came and carried her suitcase to his car. He didn’t ask any questions and she
was grateful. She didn’t want to cry. Tears kept threatening and it was all she
could do to keep them at bay.

Richard
swept her up in his arms when they got to the restaurant and carried her up the
stairs to her apartment. “I’m here for you, okay?”