Yeah. She didn’t have any regrets about staying with him. Except the big one that loomed on the horizon. The one that was going to send her back to California with a broken heart. Because she was stupid.
She couldn’t imagine waking up to an empty bed or not seeing his mischievous smile across the room. Nor could she imagine not hearing his gravelly voice whispering in her ear about all of the wicked things he planned to do to her. In a few short days, she’d totally managed to fuck up her life. She was an idiot.
Brenna followed Roxy up on top of a rock formation that jutted out into the lake then carefully picked her way across the jagged surface as they walk to the edge where the waves crashed against it. The rising full moon—the Blood Moon—hung low on the horizon. Fingers of red and orange spread across the October sky. She stared out over the vast churning waters and tried to think of what to tell Roxy.
Her cousin put her hand on Brenna’s shoulder. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
The lie was already on her lips when she whirled to look at the other woman. But it died as soon as she looked into Roxy’s eyes. “It’s stupid. But, yeah. I am.”
Roxy’s eyes clouded. “Why is it stupid?”
Brenna sighed. “He might want me, but he doesn’t love me.” She wasn’t convinced that shifters could fall in love—at least, not without the assistance of pheromones and biological predisposition. And that really wasn’t love. Not as far as she was concerned, anyway. It was more like genetic coercion.
“You don’t know that.” Roxy said. “You should see the way he looks at you.”
Brenna wanted to share everything—shifters, mates, her father, but Caleb’s secret wasn’t hers to tell. Roxy was her cousin on her mother’s side of the family and didn’t have a clue that the creatures most people considered fantasy were real.
Most people believed shape-shifters were nothing more than myths or folklore. Typically, their existence wasn’t known beyond mates or immediately family. Having been the son of a shifter, her father had known. Without seeing any signs in her, her father never should have revealed that shifters exist. But he’d never let little things like ethics get in the way. She sighed, her heart aching at the building pain.
“I think it’s more the novelty,” she finally said, needing to fill the silence.
Roxy slung her arm around Brenna’s shoulder and smiled sadly. “Can’t blame a girl for a little wishful thinking.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was just thinking how great it would be if you and Caleb fell in love and you moved back home. See? Totally selfish, wishful thinking.”
She wouldn’t admit it aloud, but she couldn’t help but want the same thing. Blinking back tears, she returned Roxy’s smile. “I do miss living here.” Brenna turned and looked at the riot of colored leaves that covered the trees on the shore. Scarlet, gold, russet and orange, all bright against the darkening sky—she’d never seen a more beautiful place. “But I don’t see that changing any time soon.”
“Is it because of your dad, or are you happy there?”
Brenna smiled. “You always did know how to get to the heart of it.”
“It’s the therapist in me; what can I say?”
“Before, I would have said it was mostly about my dad.”
Roxy nodded. “He really is an ass. Nothing’s changed since you’ve been gone.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“But now?” her cousin prodded.
Brenna took a deep breath and forced herself to be as honest as she could without revealing Caleb or his brothers’ secret. “Now, I’m in love with Caleb, and honestly, I think it would kill me to see him all the time when this doesn’t work out.”
“That’s a pretty depressing outlook.”
Brenna shrugged. She couldn’t really argue with that assessment. It might be different if she could trust that he wanted her for her—not because nature thought she’d be a great breeding partner. It was almost funny. Her father didn’t want her for what she couldn’t give him and Caleb wanted her for what she could. Irony at its best.
Of course, maybe she was assuming that was what Caleb wanted. But mates were meant to reproduce. It was how nature worked. And God knew her father had drilled the importance of increasing the shifter population into her head for years. She sighed. She should give Caleb the benefit of the doubt on that one and find out how he felt. But since she planned on leaving no matter what, bringing it up wouldn’t help anything.
After Roxy left, she found Caleb reading on the porch swing. He pulled her onto his lap and set the swing to rocking. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder, loving the closeness and the companionable silence they shared yet knowing it would be destroyed soon. Sooner or later, they’d have to talk, but right now, she wanted this—this closeness—for just a little bit longer.
The crunch of tires on gravel caught her attention. It was likely one or both of the guys. A nervous flutter settled in her belly at the memory of the last time they’d been together. She lifted her head and froze as the car rounded the corner.
Her father turned off the engine and got out.
Brenna moved to scramble off Caleb’s lap, but he locked his arms around her, and there was no getting free.
“Let me go,” she whispered, pushing against his chest.
He looked at her. “I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”
“I—” she almost said love but stopped herself in time. “I appreciate it, but it’s not your battle to fight.”
“You’re my mate,” he murmured. “It’s mine, too.”
She closed her eyes in frustration, took a deep breath and pinned him with her gaze. “Don’t do this now. Please. And if you care about me—at all—don’t mention that in front of him.”
His lips tightened, and his eyes brightened with the gold of his wolf, his anger bleeding through. But to her relief, he nodded. However, he kept his arms tightly around her. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but having him here, supporting her gave her the strength to look her father in the eyes.
Caleb tried to keep his emotions contained as he watched Joe climb the porch steps. He’d never seen the man look so pleased.
“It’s about time you finally did something right,” the older man said, clapping his daughter on the shoulder.
Brenna’s gray eyes turned to slate—cold and flat. Her chin lifted slightly, and she stared at her father. “So having ridiculous amounts of sex with someone you think of as a son is ‘doing something right’?”
Joe looked a little uncomfortable. His smile faltered slightly but didn’t fade entirely. “Well, we’ve got to get shifters back in the family somehow, don’t we?”
Caleb’s rage surged to the surface, and he gripped the armrest of the swing. The wood cracked beneath his grip. Brenna shifted on his lap, moving to stand. He didn’t stop her this time, but more than anything, he wanted to plow his fist into her father’s face.
Brenna took several steps toward Joe. “So as far as you’re concerned, my only value lies in my ability to produce shifter children?” she asked, her voice even and deadly.
Only an idiot would answer in the affirmative.
“Of course, that’s not your only value,” Joe blustered. “But since you didn’t end up with this gift yourself, this is the next best thing.”
Caleb cringed. Apparently, Joe was that idiot.
“Would it have killed you to, I don’t know…maybe take just a little fatherly interest in me?”
Pain vibrated off Brenna in waves, but Joe seemed oblivious. This didn’t seem like the same guy who had befriended him and his brothers. But what did Caleb know? The majority of his time spent with Brenna was when her father wasn’t around. And she was rarely around when he was with Joe.
“I tried to get you to develop an interest in your heritage, but you wanted nothing to do with it.”
“No. You wanted to live vicariously through me, because the family genes skipped you, too.” She glanced at Caleb, regret in her eyes and turned back to Joe. “When that didn’t work, you found yourself a new family.”
The older man opened his mouth, but she didn’t give him a chance to speak.
“Just so you know, I’m not looking for apologies.”
Joe’s face turned red, and his hands tightened into fists at his side, but he held his tongue.
“I just want you to understand that you lost your right to parent me a long time ago.” The fight seemed to leave her with the last of her words.
Her father took several unsteady steps toward her. “Why the hell would I apologize to you? I did the best I could trying to raise you up right, but you’ve always been a miserable bitch.”
“That’s it.” Caleb stepped between them. “I kept quiet so Brenna could say what she needed to say to you. But this is enough. You
will not
speak to your daughter like that.”
“I’ll speak to her any damn way I want to.”
“No. You won’t.”
Joe stared at him in disbelief.
“You need to leave now,” Caleb added, sliding his arm around Brenna’s waist.
“After everything I’ve done for you and your brothers, you’re siding with her?”
“Go.”
Caleb let his wolf rise to the surface—let the other man get a good look at his barely contained rage. With the full moon rising, it was nearly impossible not to shift, but he clung to his humanity a while longer.
Cursing under his breath, Joe got in his car and peeled out, kicking up gravel against the side of the house.
Not bothering to watch the other man leave, Caleb pulled Brenna into his arms and held her. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry he’s a dick. I’m sorry we basically replaced you. I’m surprised you didn’t hate us.”
She shook her head against his chest. “It was kinda hard to hate the guys who’d always looked out for me—especially when my own father wouldn’t. I was old enough to figure out that it had less to do with me and more to do with his own imagined failures.” Pulling away slightly, she shrugged. “I guess coming back for the wedding was a good thing all around. I don’t have to wonder anymore if I’d imagined things or blown them out of proportion.”
“I hate that this is what you came home to, but I’m not going to lie. I’m so glad you came back.”
He lowered his head to kiss her, but she looked away. A wall slammed between them, so tangible he could practically feel the individual bricks.
“Bren?”
She backed up a step. Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t do this.”
“You can’t do what?” Ice water replaced the blood in his veins.
“I can’t stand here and let you think this whole mate thing has a chance in hell of working out for us.”
He stared at her, his teeth aching to bite her—to claim her as his. To change her body chemistry by marking her—binding her to him forever.
Her hands shook violently as she pushed them through her hair. “I can’t do it. I can’t let him get what he wants from me.”
“Fuck him,” he snarled.
Brenna jumped at his tone.
“Fuck. Him,” he said again. “This isn’t about your father. What about what you want?”
“What I want doesn’t matter,” she said bitterly. “It never has.”
“Fine. What about what I want?”
She stared at him, eyes wide.
“I want you. I’ve always fucking wanted you. Christ, Brenna, I love you. And I think you love me. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
She laughed. It was possibly the bitterest sound he’d ever heard. “No. It really doesn’t.”
“How does love not count?” he demanded, prowling toward her, his anger pushing his wolf toward release.
“It’s not love,” she snapped. “It’s biology. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
“Bullshit.”
She frowned at him. “Smelling like mating material doesn’t equal love.”
Pure frustration combined with the intensifying need to shift, and a growl crawled up his throat. He couldn’t stifle the sound if he tried. “Yeah, I might have just realized that we’re biologically suited. But I realized something else, too. And that’s that I’ve been in love with you for a fuck of a long time.
Years
, brat.”
He stalked toward her, backing her up against the side of the house. “Having you move across the country didn’t kill it and having you back…” He nipped at her lower lip. “Having you in my bed…” He trailed open-mouthed kisses along the side of her neck; the scent of her flesh was intoxicating. “Having my cock buried inside you…” He scraped her collarbone with his teeth drawn by the seductive pulse of her blood beneath her skin. He forced his mouth away and lifted his head to stare into her eyes. “All of that only makes me positive we’re meant to be together.”
Chapter Eight
Brenna shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears. Her heart had turned to stone in her chest. She had no idea how much it would hurt to tell him she couldn’t be with him. She stared into Caleb’s eyes. The brown had been completely swallowed by the gold, and she could tell he was trying desperately to keep from shifting.