Aura (22 page)

"I thought you might want to wear the white gown your father bought you when you returned."  Her mother spoke, as she attempted to make her daughter feel more like one of them.
Aura recognized the effort for what it was and smiled as she replied.  "Not this time mother, I am not comfortable with the thought of wearing it in public."
"I understand."  Her stepfather replied.
"How are your studies coming along at the University?"  Her mother changed the subject, hoping to find some common ground on which to base a conversation.
"Quite well actually."  Aura responded, warming to the subject.  "I find it surprising how many students have left the course and how many more look as if they will not be able to make it."
"You really like it there?"  Her mother sounded surprised.  She could not imagine what the attraction was, but then again, she never did understand why her daughter liked the things she did.
"Yes mother, I like it, and I am happy."  Aura spoke with such quiet assurance that there could be no doubting her sincerity.
"I never believed you were serious about your choice of a career.  I could not picture you as a doctor."  Her mother admitted and she realized how little she really knew about her daughter.
"Neither did I at first mother.  It was more of a lifetime dream when I was younger.  As I got older I feared it might be impossible, that I did not have what it takes, but everything is working out fine.  Of course there are times when I question my abilities, but I think everything is going to work out for the best."  Aura smiled as if she was pleased with herself.
"They say there is a lot to read." 
"It is true, but I am through the worst of it.  When I am finished I will start on next year's program, if it is allowed."
"Why the great rush?"  Her stepfather asked.
"I don’t know, there just seems to be."  Aura admitted.
"Did anyone tell you that Veronica is getting married this year?"  Her mother asked.
Aura shook her head as she finished the last of her desert then answered.  "You know I have not kept up with the news at home mother.  I am the outsider here and I know it.  You needn’t bother to deny it.  I feel more at home in my dormitory room than I do here.  I truly hope Veronica will be happy and you may tell her so for me, if I do not get to see her myself."
"Well you are apt not to over the holidays.  They will visit his grandmother in Scotland.  I understand the lady is feeling poorly."
"Nothing serious I hope?"  Aura asked in concern as a servant offered her some sugar for her coffee and she waved him off.
"A cold, so I understand.  Still, at her age it can turn into something serious. Veronica might not have cared one way or the other at one time, now she does.  She has changed since you lived with us.  I think both girls have.  Sara married last year.  Did your father tell you that?"
Aura shook her head as she sipped at her coffee and asked:  "Luke?"
"Yes, it seems they are well suited.  I think you could become good friends with them if you wanted to Aura.  I think I would like that."
Aura looked at her mother over the rim of her cup and sighed as she answered:  "It is too late for that mother, it is too late for anything."  She then put her cup down onto its saucer and rose.  "And speaking of getting late I had better go upstairs and change or I shall miss your party.  Now that would be a shame, right mother?  You always did invite the cream of society if I remember correctly."
Aura controlled the anger in her voice, making it sound rather nondescript instead of sarcastic then left to change.  Her mother would never understand.  The harm had been done years ago and now she found she no longer cared, not about anything or anyone.  She did not belong here, she realized, she belonged home, with Thorn, her husband. 

Aura was late for the party, which was permissible by anyone's standards.
  She pulled her hair back off of her face, held it with the gold combs her step father had given her and let it fall in waves past her waist.  She walked with a confidence that her stepfather knew had not existed before she had left.  He smiled with pride at the woman she had become.  The changes he had noted in his stepdaughter added to her charm and he noticed he was not the only one to appreciate her beauty.
Ryan, Lord Bertram's younger son, stood by his side and watched her with amazement written across his face.  Aura’s stepfather smiled in amusement, as the lad's thoughts seemed to change from the topic they had been discussing as he asked.
"Pardon, but is that Aura?"
"Aura?"  Her stepfather pretended to act as if he had not noticed her from the moment she had entered the room.  He made a show of locating her.  "Ah, yes.  So it is.  Would you like to meet her?  She is really a charming girl, perhaps a little too solemn at times though."
"I know," the young man replied.  "I see her from time to time at the University hospital.  I am into my final year of residency there, but I have never seen her looking like this before."
"I know what you mean.  Usually she has her hair done up in that hideous braid.  And before you ask, yes, she does know that it does not suit her."
"Then why does she wear it that way?"
"I have no idea, you would have to ask her yourself."  With that he waved to catch her attention then motioned her over.
 
"Yes father?"
"Aura, I would like you to meet Ryan, he has been after me to introduce you to him ever since he saw you enter the room."
Aura turned a light pink, but said nothing of the compliment as she offered Ryan her hand, greeting him with a cool civility as she did.  She was not, nor had she ever been, impressed with Ryan Bertram.  "How do you do Ryan? You are enjoying my mother's party I hope?"
"Of course, I always enjoy your parent’s parties.  They are good hosts."  Ryan replied with practiced charm.
Aura smiled as she pulled her hand back from his firm grasp and replied.  "They will be pleased to hear that you think so."
Ryan gave her a light frown.  Aura looked as if she was going to be difficult and although it might add a little excitement to the chase for some, he preferred more cooperative prey.  He moved from the foursome they were creating as his father joined them, pulling Aura along by the hand as he spoke in a polished fashion.
"I have often seen you at the University and at the hospital.  You do not seem to remember me very well though, I am crushed."  He tried to look the part and was rewarded with a skeptical frown from Aura.
"I remember you Ryan. You spend half of your time chasing every presentable nurse on campus.  Your reputation is notorious."
Ryan laughed at that and replied.  "So that is what bothers you about me.  Might I tell you that after seeing you in your true form no other woman will ever hope to compare?"
Aura gave him a crooked smile and answered.  "You are good Ryan.  You must stand in front of your mirror and practice for hours."
Ryan looked at her in shock as he replied, not even thinking about what he might be saying as he spoke.  "Obviously I am still not quite good enough."
"In that case might I prescribe more practice and all things considered, you are in luck, for there is a whole room full of people for you to practice on.  Good luck Ryan."  Aura tried to dismiss him.  She moved away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the room with his mouth open.  She really was not interested in carrying on a flirtation and certainly not with a Casanova like Ryan Bertram.
Ryan continued to watch her as she made her way through the crowd.  She had made him feel as if he were a servant who had just been dismissed.  He was in the midst of mulling all of this over when his brother walked up behind him.
"Something wrong little brother?"  He asked with amused indifference.
"Yes, no, I mean, I am not quite sure."
For that bit of uncertainty he was laughed at.  "Not susceptible to your charms is she?"
Ryan did not like that coming from his brother, so, to put him on an equal footing shot out a challenge.  "I doubt if you could do any better Derek, although you might enjoy the chase.  Delinda might not like you pursuing her though."
"Delinda and I understand each other very well and she is very sure that a diamond awaits her in the near future.  Anyone else in the meantime is just the sowing of wild oats." Derek remarked smugly.
"And is there a diamond for Delinda in the near future Derek?"  Ryan asked.
"With a bank account of over twenty million I should hope so."  Derek replied.  He didn’t care how jaded the remark made him sound.
"Well if you should ever decide otherwise, let me know.  I would be more than happy to take your place."  Ryan wasn’t joking either.  Delinda and her bank account made a very attractive package.
"You and a million others, but as long as she is in New York visiting her mother over the holidays, I can play for a bit, and not get caught."  Derek grinned.
"Unless I tell."  Ryan threatened.
"With my ring on her finger, and a shot to become the future Lady Bertram, Delinda would forgive me anything.  Even Aura."  Derek was too sure of his chances to concern himself with the blackmailing attempts of his younger brother.
Aura had grown tired of the superficial snobbery of the guests very quickly and after taking all she could stand, she made her way out to the small fountain in the gardens.  She sat on the side of the collection pond and watched the water as it sprayed over a mermaid. She ran her fingers through the liquid and sighed as she listened to the Christmas music.  It wafted across the dead bushes over to where she stood and dreamed and she felt so empty, so alone.  She closed her eyes and imagined that she sat beside her love and his arms encircled her to draw her against the great expanse of his muscled chest.
The scene seemed so real to Aura’s mind that she could almost smell the scent that was part of Thorn’s chemistry.  She opened her eyes and forced her mind back to the present.  The past was too painful to face at the moment.
"Why would you choose to be alone when you could be surrounded by young men who would be more than happy to pay you compliments and make you feel beautiful?  You are beautiful you know."  Derek’s voice brought Aura’s mind back from her musing.
Aura looked at the intruder, wishing he would just disappear and sneered.  "Perhaps, then perhaps not.  This is a matter of opinion I have no wish to discuss with you.  I would rather be on my own right now if you do not mind."
Derek ignored her rudeness as he sat beside her on the rim of the fountain pool and smiled, not willing to be sent away by a mere slip of a girl.  Besides, if he left now his bother would never let him live it down.  "My name is Derek."
"I know.  You are Ryan's brother."  Aura replied.
"You know Ryan?"  He asked, making it sound as if it was news to him.
Aura gave a sniff and answered:  "By reputation everyone on the campus knows Ryan."
"I gather you disapprove."  Derek smiled showing his amusement.
"Truthfully, I could care less.  What he does is nothing to do with me, as long as he leaves me alone."
"Is that perhaps the voice of injured pride talking?"  Derek was curious in this case, most women loved his little brother.  He was a very charming and charismatic man.  They both were when it suited them.
"Why should it be?  I very rarely run into Ryan on campus, we function on different levels."  Aura could actually care less and she was less than impressed with Derek.  All she wanted was to be left alone.
"That does not indicate that you are not attracted to him."  Derek pushed.  He didn’t seem to be getting the hint.
"Is the possibility that someone is not attracted to your brother so hard to comprehend that you have trouble understanding it?" 
"I must admit, total indifference to my over charming brother is hard to comprehend, or believe."
Aura just shrugged her shoulder and voiced her thoughts.  "He just is not my type Derek, neither are you for that matter, so you can quit trying so hard."
"That could be almost taken as a challenge.  Tell me Aura, if we are not your type, who is?"  Derek had a hard time believing all his efforts were being brushed aside and he was curious about what it would take to attract this pretty little ice princess.
"Suffice it to say nobody you know.  Just leave it be Derek and be satisfied with the answer you got."  Aura was getting very irritated.  Why wouldn’t he just go?
"No.  You intrigue me.  First you tell me that you have no real interest in any of us then you go off on your own to be alone.  It does not seem to be a natural thing for any good looking woman to do."  Derek had never met someone like Aura.  Nothing seemed to faze her.  What was it going to take to break through that veneer she was hiding behind?
"Really?  Are you perhaps a psychologist?  Or are you just an authority on the average female Derek?"  Aura came back at him sarcastically.  She knew she could get away with being rude, but there were limits.
He laughed and answered.  "Neither, but I would like to get to know you better."
She shook her head as she replied.  "You would be better off if you let it go.  Besides, I have no time for you.  I have at least two stacks of medical books to read over the holidays."
"You know what they say Aura, all work and no play?"  Derek purred.
"My play comes when I say and with whom I choose.  Not until then."  She snipped back, she was feeling more and more irritated with his continued pressure.
"You sound like such a challenge Aura, how can I resist but to rise to it?"  Derek wanted to continue the game.  He was getting a charge out of the chase.
"Work on it Derek."  She advised then, as he showed no signs of leaving, she did.
Her exit was cut short as Derek also rose and grabbed her by the wrist, to turn her around to face him.  He wrapped his arms about her and gave her a sound kiss.
Aura was unimpressed as she felt his lips move over hers.  He disgusted her and made her feel dirty.  His tongue brushed over her lips giving her the impression that she was being slobbered on and she struggled to regain her freedom.  When she was released she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and angrily spat out.
"Surely you cannot be that desperate that you have to force your attentions on a woman who wants nothing to do with you, Derek."
He looked at her, his eyes dark with desire and he smirked.  "I will not lie to you Aura, I want you and I plan to have you.  And Aura, I always get what I want."
"Derek, you arouse no interest in me.  I do not like the way you kiss and I do not like the feel of your body against mine.  In fact there is nothing about you I do like."
"So what is wrong with my body?  I have never had any complaints before."
"You are soft."  She snapped.  "You have never done a days work in your life.  I have no use for your brother and even less for you.  You don’t need to dangle your prospective title before me because that does not either impress or interest me either."
"So you like it hard and rough do you?"  He snarled,  "I think I could manage that."
"Enough," Aura's irate voice whipped out at him.  "You are letting your imagination carry you away and I tire of the games, so I will try to make things easy for you.  Either you let me go now and promise never to try to talk to me again, or I will tell Delinda everything.  There is nothing to desire in an empty title Derek and her money can buy her more than you can offer."
"You are bluffing."  He gave her an appraising look before deciding that she was quite serious.  He was not quite ready to leave her escape so easy.
"Am I Derek?"  She gave him a steady look and added.  "I would not be so sure of that if I were you."
Aura gave him no chance to respond as she left him to return to her room.  She didn’t even stop to say good night to anyone at the party.  She was disgusted with the society her parents circulated in.  It was not real.  There were a real lack of morals.  Granted, it was not much different at Vernon's court, but at least there she had been safe.  There she was the Lord Thorn's Lady and beyond approach.
Aura thought of her husband as she undressed and slipped naked between the satin sheets, giving a gasp at the sensations which the material rubbing against her body shot through her.  Strange that she had never felt like this before.  Was it the thoughts of Thorn that made her feel so stimulated?  She ran her hands over the sheet that outlined her body and quivered at the caress.  She wanted him, needed him, only him.  She could have cried as she felt the emptiness his absence made her feel.  Her life without him was a mockery.
She remembered the one night of passion they had shared.  She remembered their home and felt ashamed of her past actions.  For now she knew that she wanted nothing more than to curl up against her husband and to have him hold her.