Athica Lane: The Carpino Series (30 page)

A minute after Jude disappears into my apartment, Cam strides out carrying two large suitcases with my computer case and camera bags thrown over his shoulders.  He looks unhappy to say the least, his face etched in stone.  He doesn’t look to me, but goes to the back to toss my bags in. 

When he finally climbs in, he looks over and the stone cracks, his features softening.  I don’t have a chance to demand anything because the kids kick in, bouncing around the back of the car asking more questions about the police officers.  I frown and he simply gives me a little shake of his head, telling me silently he doesn’t want to talk about it in front of the kids.  As he pulls out of the parking lot, answering more kid questions and doing it way better than I did, we pass my brother.

“Are you kidding me?” I yell and see my brother give a steering-wheel-man-wave to Cam, which Cam returns. 

Tony looks as happy as everyone else this morning and after we pass him, I feel Cam grab my hand, resting it in his on the console between us.  I try and pull away, giving him a glare at the same time.  He doesn’t allow it, giving my fingers a reassuring squeeze, although I have absolutely no idea what he’s reassuring me about since no one will tell me anything, damn it.  He looks over and gives me a small smile that doesn’t look at all happy, as he drives us to Athica Lane. 

I sit back in my seat and stare out the window as Cam takes me back to his house, not giving me any other choice.  I’ve never been angrier, and if I’m honest with myself, I’m flipping out at the same time. 

*****

“That’s a little…” I bite the side of my mouth and frown before continuing, “Goldilocks gone creeper.”

I’m back where I started my morning, in Cam’s bedroom with Cam.  When we got here, he told the kids he needed to talk to me and instructed them to go play.  Cara skipped off, Jordy sulked off. I followed Cam to his bedroom as he carried all my bags.  I vaguely wondered what he packed for me. 

Cam glares, “This is not funny.”

“I agree,” I say.  “Someone broke into my home, slept in my bed and made a mess of what was in my refrigerator.  That’s not funny, that’s creepy.”

“First of all,” he frowns, “that’s not your home and second of all, he did more than sleep.”

“The hell it’s not my home.  It’s been my home for five years and how do you know it’s a ‘he’?” I ask.

“You might have been there for five years, but it sure as hell isn’t your home.  And I know it’s a ‘he’ because he left the evidence,” Cam growls.

I ignore the part about where my home is and feel my eyes go big, “Evidence?”

His face goes hard and he takes a breath before he adds, “Yeah, in a pair of your panties that he left in your bed.”

“What?” I exclaim.

He sighs and moves to me.  When he gets close, he pulls me to his big chest and lowers his voice, “Baby, he’d gone through some of your clothes.  Mainly your panties and nightgowns.  He clearly romped around in your bed and I knew this the minute I walked in because you’re a clean freak.  You always made my bed and you mentioned you were sleeping on the sofa, I knew you didn’t leave your bed like that.  Then the police started moving the covers around and found the sick fuck jacked off in your panties.  Detectives were there to collect evidence.  They’ll have DNA and if they get a lead, they can prove who it was.”

“That’s disgusting,” I whisper.

“That’s an understatement,” he agrees.

“Was there anything else?” I ask.

Cam sighs.

Oh shit, that’s not good.

“Tell me,” I fist his shirt in my hands.

“Aside from the mess he made in your kitchen, your picture frames were empty,” he says.  “Not all of them, I’m guessing only the ones you were in.  I’ve only been to your apartment a few times, but I’m guessing you had pictures of you with other people?” he asks.

“I guess,” I think, inventorying pictures in my head.  “I have a few framed of me with friends and family.”

“They’re gone.  Frames were left empty.  That’s the only reason we noticed, I knew you wouldn’t have empty frames sitting around.  Your dad and brother might notice more, but I don’t think anything else was missing.  I packed up enough clothes for you for a few days until I can get you back in there to get the rest, but I did get your computer and camera.  If you can think of anything else you can’t live without for the next day or two, we’ll call your dad,” he explains.

“This is crazy,” I think out loud.  “Who would do all that?”

I feel his arms tighten around me, “I talked to your dad.  After I brought you home last night from Lanny and Sophia’s, that guy made a scene at the party.  Your family had to ask him to leave and he refused.  Jude had to officially show him out and tell him not to come back.  I think it could be him.  Your dad agrees.”

I frown thinking there’s no way it could be, “Brian would never do that.”

“Baby, you don’t see him the way other people see him.”

“He wouldn’t do that to me,” I insist, shocked by his suggestion.  We’ve been friends for years.  Yes, he had a thing for me, but he’d never do anything to hurt me.

I feel him sigh, “We’ll see.  They didn’t say for sure, but I think he’s going to be getting a visit from the police.  Jude said he’d let me know, but until then, I don’t want you back at your apartment by yourself.”

“The police are going to question him?  He’s going to be so pissed and he just started talking to me again.  I’ve known him for years. He’s not capable of anything like that,” I maintain.

“We’ll see.  With DNA, it’ll be easy for him to prove if he’s innocent.  It’ll be up to him,” he says.  I feel his hands come up and he frames my face, “Now, are you okay after last night?  Do you want me to take you to see Rosa’s family?”

I feel a lump build in my throat and say, “Let me call Leigh, see if she’s heard from them.  I don’t want to be a bother.”

He leans down to kiss me and says, “Take a shower, relax and let me know what you want to do.”

I nod and he starts to move toward the door when I call, “Cam?”

“Yeah?” he turns back to me.

We have to finish talking about us.  I can’t hang out at his house and wonder what’s going on with him.  I need to know what getting his head together means. 

“Why am I here?” I ask quietly.

He drops his hand from the door and comes back to me.  He puts one hand to my hair and one to my back, pulling me close again.  He leans down and kisses me slow, his goatee tickling my face the way I’ve come to love, but also miss dearly. 

When he finally breaks his kiss, he sighs and states softly, “You love me.”

My breath hitches.  I’m surprised by his statement, but say nothing.  Of course I love him.  I love him in a way I know I’ll love him forever, even if I can’t have him. 

“You love my kids,” he goes on.

I feel my chest pang with a sweet agony, because he’s right.  I do and I’ve missed them something fierce.

“And even if you love mine, you want your own,” he says.  “You should have that.  It’s taken longer than it should have, but I’ve decided no one’s going to give them to you but me.  It doesn’t matter how many, we’ll figure that out later.  But really, it’ll be whatever you want.  I’m just lucky I get to be the one to give them to you.  So baby, you love me, you love my kids and we love you.  It’s time to be a family.”

“You love me?” I say on an exhale.

“Yes, baby.  I love you and it’s time to bring you home where you’re meant to be.”

“But you were so adamant,” I say.

He sighs and looks down for a few beats before he says, “She fucked me up.  I didn’t think I could ever trust anyone again, let alone trust anyone enough to have more kids.  But over the last weeks without you, when I thought I could put you out of my head, all I could think about was what I was missing out on.  I know you’re not her.  You give me sweet like I’ve never had.  I can’t turn my back on that.  If I get dark-headed, Italian babies out of the deal, I figure nothing could be sweeter than that.”

I’m so sick of crying, but I blink back my tears and ask, “You’re not just saying that because you went into a jealous rage?”

“No,” he says. 

I know I can’t hide the uncertainty in my face.  He sighs and pulls me in for a squeeze before he goes on.

“Believe what you want.  I’ll prove it to you in time, but baby, you’re back.  There’s nothing to question there.  Jordy’ll come around.  Now, take a shower and let me know what you want to do the rest of the day,” he says before he leans down, kisses me on the head and turns to leave.

I guess I’m back, for now.  I look around his room with his dirty clothes on the floor, his unmade bed and through the door to his master bath, I see it’s a mess, too.  I’m back on the rollercoaster again.  I’m tired of the rollercoaster.  I think I’m ready to get off and find another, more even-keeled ride. 

“He’s not cooperating.  He said there’s no way in hell he’s giving a DNA sample.  There isn’t enough evidence for a warrant.  He might have caused a small scene at the party, but he left and didn’t come back.  That’s not enough in the court’s mind to issue a warrant for DNA,” Jude says to me over the phone.

“So that’s it?” I ask, looking across Rosa’s house full of her family and friends who have gathered after the funeral. 

My eyes are on Paige.  She’s talking to Leigh, Gabby and Rosa’s daughter.  She’s worn a constant face of contemplation mixed with worry since the night of the Star Wars party, even if she’s doing her best to hide it.  I want to believe it has to do with the death of her friend, but unfortunately, I think it has more to do with me.  If I hadn’t taken so long to get my shit together, we could be passed this by now. 

I haven’t let her return to her apartment, she’s been back with us for four days and three nights.  As often as I’ve explained to Jordy that her leaving was my fault, he held on to his grudge.  Yesterday, he finally let that go and I could tell Paige wasn’t just relieved, but down right happy.  The two of them were thick as thieves last night and seeing them together again was so good, it was almost painful.  I’m furious with myself for causing that rift in the first place.  She’s back to her normal self with the kids, but with me?  I’m not even close.

I went back to her apartment to collect more of her stuff and this time got as much as I could.  There’s no reason for her to go back.  She’s been a whirlwind at home like she was before, getting her clean freak on, but this time doing it with even more vigor.  So much so, I have a feeling she’s cleaning to avoid me.  And damn it, I don’t give a shit about the house.

But since she’s been back, she crawls into my bed without question and into my arms.  I talk to her, ask her if she’s okay, she assures me she’s fine and goes to sleep.  Then she rolls away from me and hogs the bed like she used to.  I’ve not pushed her for anything more and she hasn’t let on she wants anything more besides clinging to me before sleep.  I haven’t had her since the night of the Star Wars party.  She’s different, not herself, but not quite moody.  She’s strangely withdrawn, but not quiet. 

Basically, she’s back but she’s not back.  And I know it’s my fault.

“Unfortunately, that’s it,” Jude answers.  “There’s nothing more you can do other than keep an eye on her.  My gut still says it was Brian who broke into her apartment and did that sick shit, but it’s circumstantial.  Sorry, man.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her.  And she’s not going back to her apartment, that’s for sure.  I appreciate the update,” I say.

“Tell Paige I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the funeral, my case blew up last night and I needed to be here.  Gabby said she’s taking it hard,” Jude says.

“I appreciate it and I’ll let her know,” I say before we disconnect.

“No warrant?” Tony asks, listening to my side of the conversation.

“Nope,” I say sliding my phone into my suit pocket. 

“Dad and I thought that was a reach.  Not enough evidence,” he says.  Then he fully turns to me and moves on to the subject of his little sister.  It feels like old times when he scowls, “You two back together?”

I look at Paige.  She catches my eyes and gives me a hesitant smile before turning her attention back to the women. I sigh, “She’s back and she isn’t going anywhere, even if she wants to.  The together part will come, I hope sooner than later.”

“You gonna give her what she wants?” he asks, knowing I know what he’s talking about. 

Trying not to look pissed because I know I bought this, I put it simply, “She’ll get everything she wants, Tony.”

Tony looks at his wife, cousin and sister before he tries to hide a smirk when he mutters, “Good.”

Finally.  Being on Tony Carpino’s bad side is an annoyance I don’t need. 

He finally smiles when he asks, “This mean softball is back on?”

I shake my head no but say, “Sure.”

Not able to keep my eyes off her wherever she is in the room, I find her looking at me but her eyes seem unfocused.  She’s got a small frown playing on her face and looks deep in thought, caught in another world.  I frown, tipping my head in question and she finally blinks out of her spell.  Her eyes immediately well up, her body language telling me she’s upset. 

I can’t stop myself from moving to her as I say to Tony, “I’m gonna get her out of here.  I’ll let you know about softball.”

I don’t wait for him to answer, but hear him say, “Sounds good.”

Her tears start to spill by the time I get close enough to ask, “Baby, what’s wrong?” at the same I hear Leigh’s voice, “Are you okay?”

She gives her head a little shake as I put my hands to her waist on her midnight blue dress.  It hits her above the knees, fitting like a glove everywhere, and she’s taller than her usually small self in her spiked heels.  When I pull her to me, I ask quietly, “You want me to take you home?”

She swallows hard and nods, not able to utter a word.  Putting my arm around her, I pull her to my side and we move out the door without saying goodbye to anyone.  When I get her outside, I ask, “What happened in there?”

“Please, I need to go,” she begs.

I move her to my Expedition as quick as I can with her in her shoes, “Anything you want.”

For some reason, she starts crying harder when I finally maneuver her up in the truck in her dress and heels.  After I climb in beside her, she looks over and says in a shaky voice, “I’m sorry.”

I pull away from the curb and reach over to grab her hand, “There’s nothing to be sorry for.  I can’t stand seeing you upset.”

She keeps hold of my hand with a death grip without another word as I make my way to the outskirts of town.  She’s silent the whole way, never letting me go as she wipes her face and breathes deep, trying to control her tears. 

I make it to the end of Athica Lane and pull into the garage next to her car.  She makes her way into the house quickly and goes to the island, setting down her small purse.  I’m about to make her tell me why she’s upset when she turns and states, “You didn’t trust me.”

I stop where I am across the kitchen and feel my body go taut, “What?”

“I don’t mean just me.  You didn’t trust anyone, and that included me,” she says.

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“Before,” she goes on with an unsteady voice.  “When I told you I wanted kids and it was the only thing I wanted more than you.  You weren’t there yet because of her and you sent me away.”

I feel a rock form in my gut because I don’t know where she’s going with this.  I take a step closer and say as soft as I can, “I told you I’ve worked through that.  It took me longer than it should’ve, but I want what you want.  Don’t ever question that again.”

“You know I’d never do anything to hurt you,” she keeps on talking in circles.  “You trust me now.  It took me a while to realize it, but it wasn’t just me.  You did it because you didn’t trust anyone and you had to let that go.  But you did.  You let it go for me.”

“Paige,” I demand frowning.  “What’s going on?”

“And you love me,” she adds, softening her voice.

I sigh and feel my face relax a fraction as I confirm, “Yes, baby, I love you.”

“And I love you,” she responds quickly but her tears start to well again.  She gives her head a little shake when she goes on, “I think I might’ve loved you the moment I saw you throw Cara up in the air the first time.  The first time I saw you smile at Jordy.  At the time, I didn’t dream there was even a possibility you could be mine.  But that was the moment it became clear what I wanted for me.  I wanted some form of you.  Someone who would love me because I was lucky enough to be the one he wanted.  Someone I could make happy, give babies to and for him look at those babies the way you look at Jordy and Cara.  Someone I could love back and I hope, give as good as I got.  I never thought I’d get the chance at the real you.  But I did.  I got the tiniest taste of you and Jordy and Cara, and I fell.  I fell so hard.  The three of you were it for me.”  She swallows hard through her tears, her words flowing over me like silk, before she rips me to shreds, “Then you sent me away,” she goes on, her voice hitching.  Her tone dips when she finishes, “Then
I
didn’t trust
you
.”

I feel my face fall and my gut clench.  I start to move to her but she puts her hand up, halting me in my spot before she keeps going, “I forgot and I don’t know how I could forget.  I probably put it out of my head because it was just days after you left me.  But it came to me the second you looked over at me as we stood in Rosa’s house just then.  She was always telling me things, not really giving me advice, but being bossy about how I should live my life.  I always thought it was cute or funny, but now that she’s gone, I hate myself for not writing down every single one of them so I could remember them forever, no matter how ridiculous some of them were.  Just days after you sent me away, she held me in her arms and told me you’d be back.  She said as she rocked me back and forth, ‘That fellow, he’ll be back for you, Paige.’  Then she made me promise not to make you work for it and I broke my promise.”

Tired of being far away from her, needing to touch her, I move until I have her against the island.   I look down and demand, “I don’t like this.  What in the hell are you talking about?”

She slides her hands up my chest, inside my suit jacket and melts into me, saying through her wet eyes, “I made you work for it because I was afraid and didn’t trust you.  For three days I was scared you’d change your mind, I didn’t even know I was doing it.  But I made you work for it and I shouldn’t have.  I should have trusted you.”

I finally exhale in relief, understanding this isn’t going to go bad and look down into her big, brown eyes, “So fucking sweet.  I deserve to be dragged over the coals for what I did.”

I feel her melt further when she whispers the truth, this time with content in her voice, “If this works out, you want what I want.”

“Paige,” I say with a warning in my voice. “There’s no ‘ifs’ about it.  This is going to work out, no one other than me is going to give you the babies you want.”

Her tear-stained face smiles and she informs me, “You love me.”

I can’t help but tip my mouth and respond, “You loved me first.”

I see a look come over her face, a look I haven’t seen in what feels like forever.  It’s a look I came to love.  I realize now how much I’ve missed that look when she gazes up like she knows she’s one-upped me and says quietly, but with a hint of her old attitude, “Well then.  I win.”

I find myself shaking my head before letting my eyes close in relief.  I can’t help it, she’s not just back.  She’s back.  I pull her into me at the same time I lean in to kiss her.  When she gives me her weight like she used to, I’m overcome by how much I’ve missed her, how close I came to losing her for good.  How I wouldn’t have her now if she wasn’t the selfless dream she’s proven to be. 

When I finally pull away and look into her big brown eyes with those gold flecks glinting, she asks, “How many do you want?”

I feel my smile form thinking about making babies with Paige, thinking I’m the biggest jackass for not realizing sooner that nothing could make life sweeter than making a bigger family with her.  Giving her a squeeze, I say, “I’m good with one or two.  Three with Jordy and Cara’ll give us a basketball team.  Any more than that, we’ll have to go into negotiations.”

“A basketball team?” she smiles.

“Five starters,” I grin.

“I’m good with two,” she smiles bigger.

I shrug my shoulders, “A relay team, then.”

She frowns through her smile, “A relay team?”

“Yeah, in track, they pass the baton.  Or swimmers, whichever.”

She rolls her eyes, her sass sweeping through me like a feast for a starving man, “You do remember my boot camp experience, right?  I can’t promise you athletic children, Cam.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I tease.  “My swimmers’ll make up for your un-athleticism.” 

She slaps my shoulder lightly as she grins back.

“And speaking of my swimmers,” I keep on. “Until we decide to put this plan in motion, you need to get on the pill.”

She sighs a content sigh, “I’ll start right after my next period.”

I look down and say full of meaning, “You’re back.”

Melting further into me, she whispers, “I’m back.”

I let my eyes drift over her face and tell her the truth, “Never loved you more than right now.  You gave me back your sweet, even though I don’t deserve it.”

“Cam,” she whispers.

“You made me a lucky man,” I say.

“Stop,” she insists.

“Could’ve lost you, it would’ve been my own doing,” I go on.

“Okay, I changed my mind. I want a basketball team,” she teases.  “If you keep going, we’ll have to go into negotiations.”

I feel my body relax and smile, but turn my head to check the time before I complain, “Kills me, the kids’ll be home from school in a few minutes.  I could bury myself in you for hours.  Early to bed tonight.”

“Early to bed,” she agrees with a small smile.