I laughed. “My dad was your only brother.”
He grinned. “Details. But he wasn’t just my brother, he was my best friend. It was hard to lose him but having you here, in my life, it’s like having him still. And I want you to know that I’m here for you. If you ever need to talk or…for whatever.”
I set the cup down and looked at him. This was weird. Peter rarely talked to me like this. We’d always had a good relationship but it never involved much talking. I always knew that Peter got me on a deeper level than talking. He was the father I never knew. I smiled. “Thanks. I love you too.” I reached out and clasped his shoulder.
And to my surprise, he pulled me into a hug. Weirder and weirder. It was an awkward man-hug sort of thing, which involved some backslapping. Just when I deemed it appropriate to pull away, he turned his head and said quietly. “She’s going to be okay.”
My breath froze and I stepped back. I looked away and nodded. I wasn’t the only one fixated on that hope, that thought, apparently.
An hour later, she came out, fully dressed. She looked exhausted, with circles under her eyes, and I thought my eyes deceived me but she looked pale, too. She immediately asked me for her compass back. I pulled it out and slipped it over her head.
Kim and Peter had said something about going out to get some lunch but Emilia had quietly shaken her head and tucked herself under my arm, asking me to take her home.
So I did.
The next twenty-four hours were hell. This was the time it took to get her doctors to go over her scans in minute detail and determine whether or not the cancer was still in her, and God forbid, whether or not it had spread to other parts of her body.
We spoke little. Watched a lot of television together. We made it through the entire fourth—and final—season of
Farscape
. We sat in the same lounge chair, my arms around her waist, her head on my shoulder.
The next day when her phone finally rang, we both jumped. It was her doctor’s office. With a look of no small terror, Emilia answered.
“Hey, Dr. Rivera,” she said, sounding completely normal, if a little breathy. Her hand reached out and clamped fiercely around mine. I sat beside where she stood and looked up in her face, hoping to be able to tell what the news would be.
“Okay,” she said, darting a glance at me and then looking away. “Should I come in?”
Another long pause. Her face showed nothing. She took a deep breath and the hand around mine squeezed tighter. I had no idea what that meant.
“Thank you. Yes. Next week, then. Yeah—I’ll do that right away. Thanks.”
She immediately clicked off the phone and I stared at her expectantly.
Her mouth turned up. “No evidence of disease,” she said in a trembling voice.
I shot up and pulled her into my arms, squeezing her tight. The air rushed out of me in dizzying relief. “Oh, thank God. Thank God.” I lifted her off the ground and twirled her around me.
She laughed, her arms tightening around my neck. I kissed her cheek, her neck, her face, her ear. Wherever I could reach her, I kissed her. She laughed even harder.
“You have to put me down,” she finally said.
“I don’t want to put you down.”
She laughed, turning her face to mine and planting a solid kiss on my mouth. “If you don’t put me down and I don’t call my mom in the next five minutes, she’ll come after you with a spoon to dig your heart out.”
“Mmm.” I tilted my head to the side as if considering the risk versus the reward. “I guess I can let you down for a few minutes.”
“I think we both need to make a lot of phone calls.” She walked over to her nightstand, grabbed up a slip of paper and then tore it in half longwise. “You take this half of the list and I’ll take the other. Let’s get this done quickly or we are going to be up until midnight.”
I pulled out my phone and as silly as it was, we sat on her bed side by side and made it through the list in just a few hours.
When we were done, I sighed and flopped back on the bed. “We’ve got that Bay Island charity house tour thing tomorrow but after that we need to do something special to celebrate.”
She seemed to deflate at the mention of the benefit. I turned, propped my head up on my hand to watch her. “I hope you don’t mind… I bought some tickets for our friends. So there will be people that you know there—Jenna, Alex, Heath, Kat, my cousins…”
She threw me a slanted smile. “We don’t need to crash your charity thingy with my nerd herd.”
I laughed. “I thought you might be more comfortable if they were there.”
Her lips pursed. “Actually I was going to bow out of that, if that’s okay with you.”
I didn’t say anything and she scrutinized my face.
“It bothers you, doesn’t it?”
“I’d like you to go—to be by my side.”
She hesitated and looked down for a long moment, then squared her shoulders. “Okay. I can do it for you. I’m sorry. That hadn’t even occurred to me.”
I
did
want her to go. But it was more for her good than for mine. She’d have to get used to being seen in public again. It had been easier for her in Paris, where everyone was a stranger. But work acquaintances and friends, apparently, were a much tougher crowd for her.
I called up Sonia and asked her to come over, bring us a new batch of clothes and arrange for a make-up artist to come on the day of the benefit. The better Emilia felt about her looks, the easier it would be for her.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Mia
I was doing this for Adam. He wanted me there. I had to repeat that to myself several times the next morning when I wanted to hyperventilate and back down, the fear so strong it threatened to steal my breath.
Hanging out with my friends, in small groups, was one thing. Even in public where the public was at a distance—like in Paris—that was fine. But here…at his house, it was different.
There would be people I’d worked with at Draco, and some of Adam’s rich and important friends. I had decided to chicken out when the make-up artist had finished with my face. She’d done my eyebrows realistically and applied some lovely fake eyelashes—though my natural ones were almost all the way in. But nothing could account for the tiny bit of fuzz covering my scalp. We tried on three or four different wigs but none of them looked right. I settled on one with a short bob cut, the hair similar to my own natural color.
I was wearing a colorful dress that fit my standards—a high, scooped neckline. There was little to complain about, really, with my looks. Yes, I looked different, but I now looked better than I had in months.
I clamped my hands over my knees, rocked back and forth. I didn’t want to go and there was no way I could force myself to do it. Not even with the lure of my friends, who had been invited. I was going to cower in the house until the last possible minute and hope that eventually, they’d come inside and hang out with me while we watched the hoity-toity charity-giving crowd mill around the gardens, board the yacht and schmooze with Adam.
There would be drinks and hors d’oeuvres on the lawn and then the group would progress to a dinner at a nearby exclusive restaurant. Partygoers would tour the grounds and homes of Bay Island, including the downstairs of Adam’s house and his yacht. If I hid up in my room and locked the door, I wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.
Except disappointing Adam. And he was somewhere in the house, getting ready and totally unaware of the inner war I was fighting. I was terrified and I didn’t want the pity looks, or worse, the “why is
he
with
her
?” questions. And every time I thought about it, it made my throat close up more.
When he came to get me, I didn’t move.
“I’m sorry,” I said, yanking off the wig. “I can’t do this.”
He sat down on the bed and looked at me. He was absolutely stunning in dark jeans, a white button-down shirt and a black blazer. His beauty took my breath away. How could I stand next to that?
I used to be able to do it, confidently. But not anymore. People would think I was his mother—or grandmother.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated when he sat there quietly watching me.
“I was going to say that you look amazing. It would be an honor to stand beside you.”
I rubbed my hand across my now fuzzy scalp. “I’m sorry. I just don’t—I—”
“And all your friends? Heath, Kat and Jenna…I even convinced Liam to come by saying you’d like to see him.”
“I
would
like to see him. Maybe they can come up here and hang out with me?”
Adam clenched his jaw and put his hands on his knees but didn’t appear upset. “You’re going to have to jump back into the land of the living sometime, you know.”
I looked away. “I know. It will be easier to do that when I have hair and a little excess weight on my body.”
He sighed and stood up. “Okay. It goes without saying that I would like you to be down there with me but I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do.”
I looked down, my face flaming with shame. “I’m sorry.”
He bent and kissed the top of my head. “Don’t be. But if you are feeling better later, please come down?”
“Okay.”
He smoothed a hand over my cheek, smiled and was gone. And it felt like my heart was following him out the door because it suddenly hurt. I knew I was disappointing him but I just wasn’t ready for this.
As people started to arrive and progress through the homes, I had a prime 180-degree view of the garden from my windows up top and I’d even adjusted them so that I could see outside without them being able to see in. Smart windows indeed! I sat in my window seat and saw faces—more I didn’t recognize than that I did—of the people on the charity tour. Adam greeted every single one, shaking their hands, handing them off to the party planners, caterers or tour guides.
In all, there were several hundred people in attendance. Jordan showed up with a gorgeous woman on each arm. One was a dark-haired, mocha-skinned beauty and the other a voluptuous redhead in a tight dress. Two? Really? Typical Jordan.
Kat arrived with Heath and Connor, all nicely dressed. I got excited, hoping that that they would come into the house and hang out with me. Instead, they all hightailed it to the open bar and got drinks. Sheesh. Nice to see I rated lower than a free cocktail.
I pulled out my phone and texted Heath but he never even checked his phone. He just sat with Kat at a table under the awning, just at the edge where I could see them—and they were soon joined by Jenna, Alex and eventually Adam’s cousin William.
Soon I was aching with loneliness, up here all alone. But what the hell had I expected? I had chosen to exclude myself. I was like a little girl, pouting, sequestering myself, wanting to be a part of the party but not willing to do what it took.
I had my face pressed against the glass when suddenly there was a knock at the door. I jumped up, hoping it was Kat but looking down, I saw her shock of dark red hair next to Heath and knew it must not be her. Who, then? Had Mom and Peter slipped by without me noticing?
I got up and opened the door and almost fell over in shock. Jordan stood alone with a drink in either hand. He held one out to me while he sipped at the other.
“It’s mineral water,” he said. “You thirsty?”
I reached out and took the cold glass with a shaky hand. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Can I come in?”
“Aren’t you busy enough tending to your harem?” I said with a smile.
He laughed. “Ah, you saw me arrive with two women. Nice. I hope everyone else thinks that, too.”
I stepped back and let him into the room, sipping at the fizzy water he’d brought me and trying not to show my puzzlement that he was here. “Hey, uh, I wanted to thank you for the trip—”
He held up his hand. “Do not say another word, okay? Adam footed the whole bill. He just took over my reservations. I was probably in over my head with that anyway. He did me a favor.”
I nodded. “Okay, I won’t say another word. Except thank you, and that was incredibly sweet of you.”
He threw me a look of exasperation and then went to the window to look out over the lawn. “Well, at least you’ve got a nice view from up here.”
“Yeah, I’m hiding out. How did you know to find me here?”
He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Adam, how else?”
I raised my brows. “Did he send you up?”
Jordan laughed. “Hell no. He knows better than that. I came up because…well, I feel bad.”
“What about?”
He motioned me over to the window and pointed down into the yard. My gaze followed his hand and I saw Adam talking to the redhead in the tight dress, one of the two women that Jordan had arrived with. She was stunningly beautiful, standing very close to him and gazing up into his eyes adoringly.
Something tight and visceral clamped around my throat.
Back off, bitch
. And the thought startled me so much that I almost laughed. “Why is your date flirting with Adam?”
“Hmm. She’s not really my date. I’ve been seeing the other one, her roommate, off and on. This one bought the tickets for the benefit months ago. Back when… well… let’s just say during those brief weeks when Adam was single.”
I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. “That’s the woman he went out with, isn’t it?”
Jordan shifted in his place. “Uh, yeah. I don’t think Adam even realized she was coming today.”
My entire body tensed up. Sure, it was one thing to live with the idea that he’d gone out with someone else when I’d broken up with him during my emotional freak-out. It really hadn’t been wrong of him to go out with her.
But to see her here, looking like
that
, and flirting with him like he was still available? No. Just no. That was not happening.
“So, uh. I’m sorry about this. I just wanted to explain that. And you shouldn’t get mad at him.”
I folded my arms over my chest, turned my back on the scene and sank onto the window seat, rocking back and forth, thinking. Jordan stepped back, watching me.
“You okay?”
“Not really,” I said through tight lips.
“You sure you don’t want to go down there?”
My jaw clamped shut. “Not looking like a circus freak show, no.”