Ascension (Book 4, The Watcher Chronicles) (31 page)

“Confuse, madden, excite,” he says, rubbing one hand up and down my back. “All of the above, Jess, but most of all worry.”

“Why are you worried?”

“How can I not be?  We have no idea what will happen tomorrow, not really.”

“We’ll win,” I say, full of confidence. “There’s no other option.”

“Just come back to me afterwards. That’s all I ask.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Chapter 20

The next day we gather all the vessels at the villa at around 11am New York time. If Horace’s intel is correct, and I have no reason to believe it isn’t, Lucifer and his crew shouldn’t be there until sometime after noon.

“But I still don’t know where I’m supposed to be, mon cheri,” JoJo laments to me.

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” I tell her. “Something will happen to let us know where you’ll be waiting for me and Lucifer.”

“And you’re sure I should be wearing this?” JoJo says, twirling around in her coat of many colors.

“No one can hurt you while you’re wearing it,” I tell her. “If you’re meant to put Michael’s crown on Lucifer, you’ll need all the protection you can get.”

Mason and I decide it’s best to keep Aiden and Malcolm apart for a while so we tell Malcolm what’s going on to make sure he stays near Lilly and her family in case things go awry. If we fail, I need the added reassurance that they have him there for protection. But failure just isn’t an option for me. We have to win. We have to prevent the future Lucifer wants to unleash on the world. And I know we’ll do everything within our power to make it happen.

I take Aiden aside before we get ready to leave and tell him what Brand and Lilly’s restrictions are as far as his contact with Caylin goes.

“I understand their concerns,” Aiden says. “But they need to understand I would never hurt her. As far as waiting until she’s eighteen, I will try my best, but I’ve waited to feel like this about someone for a very long time, Jess. I don’t see why we can’t be introduced sooner than that, like when she’s 17.”

“Listen, I’m just telling you what their conditions are. And honestly, if you’ve waited this long to find someone you care about I don’t think a few more years is going to kill you.”

“If you had to wait three and a half years to be with Mason after you met him, would it feel like a long time to you?”

He had me there. Let’s try another tactic.

“Caylin is very close to her parents. I don’t see her going against their wishes even if you try to introduce yourself sooner. If you truly do care about her, respect what Brand and Lilly want for their daughter and don’t make her choose between you and them. You may not like the result.”

Aiden lowers his head and closes his eyes.

“I will try,” he finally says. “But it will be hard.”

I sigh. “That’s all we’re asking of you. Just try your best, Aiden.”

Mason and Aiden take everyone to the Antarctica site. Mason purposely makes it so he and I are the only ones left in the house in the end.

He takes me into his arms, and I’m not sure he intends to let me go.

“You stay alive no matter what,” he tells me almost like an order. “Do you understand?”

“I’ll stay alive,” I promise him, hugging him tightly and breathing him in. “I’ll come back to you.”

We kiss each other tenderly but not like it might be the last time we ever see each other. I think we both know it’s a possibility, but if we give into that thought, neither of us would ever let the other go. And I have to go. I have to do what I was born to do.

Mason phases me to Antarctica, and I brace myself for the fight to come.

Mason kisses me before he leaves.

“After this I get my month,” he reminds me, resting his forehead against mine and holding the hand that doesn’t have the sword in it.

“I’m starting to think it might need to be two months rather than one,” I tell him, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders because it is. And it’s not just this world but every world in every reality.

“I can deal with that,” Mason says. “I’ll be out of a job when this is over anyway.”

I smile. “Me too.”

“Then we’ll have all the time in the world.”

Mason kisses me one more time, and I can tell he doesn’t want to leave me but we both know that’s how it has to be.

After he phases, we gather in our V formation, just like in the vision.

As we stand waiting for Lucifer and the other princes to phase in, Michael appears before me.

“Are you ready for me to take over?” He asks me.

I shake my head. “No, not yet. I’d rather wait for as long as we can.”

“It might be…”

Michael never gets to finish his sentence.

The air surrounding us suddenly comes to a stand still like someone just flipped a switch, making everything around us slow to a halt. I see Michael’s gaze shift from me to something behind me. I turn to follow his line of sight and find God standing behind our formation of archangels.

Only JoJo and Gabe turn to look where I am. The rest of my friends seem to be trapped, frozen in time.

“Jess,” God says, “it’s time for you to see what needs to happen in your fight with Lucifer.”

“You’re showing this to me now,” I say in disbelief, “at the last possible moment?”

“You need to know what’s expected of you,” God tells me. He looks over at JoJo. “And you need to know the exact moment to put Michael’s crown on Lucifer’s head. Join hands with Gabe and everything that needs to happen will be revealed to you.”

Suddenly, I don’t want to know what happens. If God’s waited this long to reveal my fate, it can’t be good.

Gabe, JoJo and I meet in the middle of the V. I plant my sword in the snow covered ice in the center of us. Gabe and JoJo join hands and hold their hands out to me, but I just stare at them trying to stop the racing of my heart and find the courage to face my fate.

I look over at God but can’t tell by his expression what I should expect to see from the vision to come. Reluctantly, I join hands with my friends.

In an instant, I see my fight with Lucifer like a dream inside my head. Without all of the vessels being involved, the vision is weak and disjointed.

I see Lucifer and me fighting on top of a mountain near a rock formation in the shape of a crescent moon. I can tell Michael is still in control of me at this point in the fight because of the way I’m moving, fluid and full of deadly intent. The scene fades in and out because with only the three of us Gabe’s power isn’t strong enough to show us everything.

But I see what I need to see.

During the fiercest part of my battle with Lucifer, I see myself intentionally let go of my sword. I let it slip from my fingers as I hold my arms out to my sides allowing Lucifer to stab me in the gut with his fiery black sword, burying the blade up to the hilt. I fall against him in my last moments, tears of pain and grief streaming down my face as I grab onto him for balance.

“Why?” He demands of me.

I never hear my answer because the vision skips forward showing Lucifer fall to his knees cradling my body to him like a child with a broken doll. The next vision is of JoJo appearing behind Lucifer, her eyes filled with tears as she places the crown on Lucifer’s head causing a pillar of blue light to encase him.

I let go of my friends’ hands.

I close my eyes and bow my head as I fall to my knees, too weak to stand. It’s my worst nightmare come true. I’m vaguely aware of JoJo and Gabe kneeling beside me, mourning what they saw in the vision too. I faintly hear JoJo cry but the rending of my own heart has left me too weak to try and give her comfort.

“No,” I hear Michael say behind me. “No, she can’t die!”

“She must,” God replies. “It’s the only way to weaken Lucifer. He has to feel her grief, her loss. There is no other way.”

At these words, I realize that’s why God refused to close my connection with Lucifer when I asked him to. He always knew Lucifer would have to feel my pain in order for me to defeat him.

“There has to be another way!” Michael insists adamantly. “I will not let her sacrifice herself, father.  I can kill him and end this once and for all!”

“If you do,” God says, “the Tear will remain open and one day the future you saw for the worlds will take place. This decision must be left up to Jess. She is the only one who can decide whether she wants to doom the world to the fate Lucifer envisions or die to save the world she knows and keep it as it is.”

“Why?” I hear myself ask God. I look up at him but he’s just a blur through my tears. “Why give me everything I’ve ever wanted when you knew I would end up having to give it all up in the end?”

God is silent, and I suddenly know the answer to my own question.

“You needed me to feel this pain, didn’t you?” I ask. “If I didn’t have anything to lose, my grief wouldn’t be strong enough to bring Lucifer to his knees. You gave me Mason, a hope for a future I never thought I could have, but you knew I would have to give it all up in order to protect the ones I love, to protect this world.”

“Do you trust me, Jess?” God asks.

I think about this question because if He had asked it only a few weeks ago the answer would have been a simple no. But now, after everything I’ve been through and seen, the answer is a simple….

“Yes.”

“Then trust me when I tell you there is no other way to stop Lucifer.”

“How could you be so cruel, father?” Michael asks accusingly.

“The decision is Jess’ to make,” God says. “I will not tell her what to do. The choice is hers and hers alone.”

“I have no choice,” I hear myself say even though my heart is begging my mind to reconsider my decision.

“Everyone has a choice,” God tells me. “That’s why I gave you free will.”

I sit silently for a while. With time frozen, I don’t see any need to rush things.

“I wish you had given me time to say goodbye,” I say, hoping Mason can someday forgive me for abandoning him.

“If I had,” God says, “Mason never would have let you come. Or he would have tried to stop what needs to happen. You know that.”

“I wouldn’t have told him,” I say.

“You wouldn’t have had to. He would have felt your grief and known you were hiding something.”

I look up at Michael standing beside me and feel myself completely breakdown when I see the look of pity he holds for me in his eyes.

“I need you to take over,” I tell him through my sobs. “I need you to fight until the time comes for me to die.”

“I will not let you sacrifice yourself,” Michael says with fierce determination.

I shake my head. “You have to. If you don’t, no one I care about will have a future. I’m only one life, Michael. I won’t be missed by many.”

“I can defeat him,” Michael insists.

“Please,” I beg. “Don’t make this any harder on me than it already is. Be strong for me. Get me through this. And when I tell you to let go, give me back control so I can bring Lucifer to his knees.”

Michael shakes his head like he has no intention of doing as I ask.

“Please,” I beg him. “I can’t do this without you. Please, help me save the people I love.”

“This will break Mason,” Michael says, his own voice breaking.

I hang my head as wave after wave of grief wracks my body.

“I know,” I cry.

I look back up at Michael.

“Please,” I beg, “help me.”

Michael stares at me for a long time but finally he nods, and I feel him take control over my body. He stands us up and grabs my sword as he walks back to our spot to wait.

“JoJo,” we hear God say behind us “let me take you to where you need to be.”

The air around us begins to move again and I know time has been restored.