As I Close My Eyes (17 page)

“
We’re going to have a bit of a hike before we get to the spot I know,” said Ben while he grabbed the bag of strawberries and wine from the back seat and exited the car.

“
Great! I’m so glad we’re wearing flip-flops then,” I said sarcastically.

“
We’ll be fine.”

Ben wasn’t kidding when he said it was a bit of a hike. It took almost a half-hour to get to his secret hiding place in The Falls.

When we finally arrived at the location he was dying to take me to, it was a place I had never seen before. We were on the other side of the mountain and Ben began to make his way into a pool of water I was sure was never explored by any other person on this planet besides him.
             

“
Come on, Dani
-
jump in.”
             

Ben took off his polo shirt and walked gingerly into the cool abyss. It was up to just above his waist, which would mean that it would be at my chest level when I got in. He watched me take off my sundress and held my hand as I slowly made my way into the water. Just as I was almost in, I slipped on a smooth rock under my feet and went completely under. I emerged thoroughly annoyed but Ben laughed and tried to ask me if I was okay, although he had trouble getting the words out. I composed myself and followed Ben close behind with my hands on his shoulders for support.

“
Why are we going towards the waterfall?” I asked him as I tried to wipe the droplets from my eyes.

“
You’ll see. Hold your breath,” he said as he walked through the wall of water.

I followed his lead to the other side of the waterfall. He stopped me as soon as I entered the cave. “I’m going to blindfold you,” Ben said as he placed a dark piece of fabric over my eyes. I heard him walking around the cave, preparing for the reveal. “Okay, now you can look.”

The cave was filled with candles and flowers. Tiny drops of water fell from the ceiling and made the entire inside glisten. The glow of dozens of candles made for a romantic setting. Flower petals were scattered on the floor and in the cracks of the cave.

“
This is amazing,” I said. I couldn’t believe Ben took the time to set the scene for this romantic afternoon. It must have taken him a few hours. “I can’t believe you did all of this. No one has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“
I’m not sure anyone knows about this little cave here and I thought it would be the perfect hiding spot for us.”

Ben set up the rest of our cave picnic and opened the wine while serving me another strawberry. It was erotic, the way he grazed it against my lips before I bit into the juicy red fruit. His lips pressed against mine and when he pulled away, some of the chocolate from my last bite fell on his. He seductively licked it off with his tongue.

“
How did you find this place?” I asked.

“
I just stumbled upon it one day. I’m pretty adventurous and I’ve spent a lot of time up here on my own.”

“
I’ve spent a lot of time here, too, but I never knew about this cave.”

“
It’s pretty secluded. Which is perfect for today because I just want to be alone with you, Dani.”

Ben reached for me and slowly laid me down on the blanket, kissing me as we pressed against each other. This time, he went further than my neck. He kissed my lips, my chest, my stomach. Carefully, slowly, he ran his hands over every curve of my body.
             

“
I’ve never felt like this for anyone, Dani,” he said in between kisses.

I couldn’t respond. I had lost the ability to speak as Ben touched me.

Wrapped in each other’s arms, we rolled together, enjoying the sensation of our damp skin pressing together. Every nerve in my body exploded with pleasure. It came so naturally to completely surrender my entire self to this man I had grown to love.

“
I wish we could stay here forever. Away from the rest of the world with nothing to do but enjoy each other,” I said as I came up for a breath.

“
Ah, if life could only be so blissful,” Ben responded as he kissed my left shoulder softly and placed his hands on my hips.

He pulled away from me moments later and asked if I wanted to get into the water. I didn’t want to stop kissing him. My desire for him mimicked that of a desperate addict. He moved much slower than I would have liked, but I respected his feelings.

As I attempted to jump into the water below, Ben caught me in midair, picked me up, and spun me around. I wrapped my legs around his waist as we settled into the side of the pond to talk.

“
You look as though you have something to say,” Ben said as he kissed my neck again.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him about the dreams, but I had to. If I wanted our relationship to progress, he had to know. “I’ve been having these dreams that are a bit strange.”

“
Dreams? Everyone has dreams.”

“
Yeah, but ... please don’t run away from me when I tell you this. When I fell in the lake, I saw something.” I wasn’t sure I should go any further with my stories. He was bound to freak out and would probably never want to see me again.

“
What do you mean you saw something?”

“
It was weird. It was like I went to another place ... in another time. When I lay on the bottom of the boat floor, unconscious, I had these visions. It was as if I could see into the past. And there was a man there named Robert who looked and acted like you, which I guess is why when I first saw you in the restaurant, I thought I knew you. I’m not sure what it all means, but I’m still having these dreams and each dream is a continuation of the one I had before.”

“
I don’t know what to say. Do you think you should go see a professional about this?”

“
Believe me, I thought about it, but I think it’s something more than any drug can fix.”

“
Well, we need to find out where you’re going in these dreams,” Ben said.

“
How are we going to find that out?”

“
You should start by writing each one down when you wake up.”

“
The thing is, it’s not happening here. I think it’s in Cape May in the late 1800s.”

“
Then we need to go to Cape May.”

Ben said it so matter-of-factly and I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t thought of going there before. I guess it took a confession to Ben for me to face the reality of the situation.

“
You’d do that? Just close the store and come with me on this possibly pointless drive up the East Coast? It all sounds so crazy,” I said.

“
Well, we both know you’re a bit nuts. You did stalk me all the way to Tallulah.”

He had a point.

“
I want you to figure this whole thing out or it will consume you, which will then mean it will consume me. Don’t you want to know what’s going on?”

“
Yeah, I do. I just feel like I might be chasing something that doesn’t exist. Like these dreams are just dreams and nothing more.”

“
It sounds like they’re more than dreams, Danielle.”

“
You’re right. When can we leave?”

“
Let’s figure that out later. Right now, all I want to do is touch you.”

After a few hours of kissing in the water and feeding each other strawberries, we started to pack up the blanket, candles, and empty wine glasses.

As we trekked through the abyss, we came to the same spot that caused me to fall as I got in. I tried to be overly cautious, but couldn’t get a grip on the stones below and fell once again.

“
Dani ... baby ....” I could hear Ben calling my name, but I drifted in and out of consciousness and couldn’t respond.

*  *  *

I woke from a deep sleep, lying next to Robert in our bed. It must have been close to midnight because the moon was very bright and there was no sign of the sun coming up. He snored slightly and I wanted to be careful as I got out of the massive amounts of blankets so as to not disturb him.

I decided to take a walk around the house and inspect the time I was dreaming back to. Volumes of books decorated every corner of the house. It occurred to me that Robert and Ben were more alike than I realized. Not only in appearance, but it seemed as though they both gravitated towards literature.

I made my way down to the first floor and investigated the living room filled with old gold-rimmed vases and oversized ornate furniture. Every inch of this house creaked so I had to be very careful about where I stepped. The lavish trim on the tops and bottoms of each wall was at least six inches wide with layers of wood decoratively carved to give each room the final touch. A small piano sat in the living room up against a wallpapered wall of flowers and stripes. Everything in Victorian Cape May was grand and a bit profuse.

As I reached for a lace napkin tucked into an end table next to the couch, I heard someone coming down the stairs.

“
Caroline, are you down here?” It was Robert.

“
Yes, darling, I’m in here.” I quickly placed the napkin back in its drawer and jumped onto the sofa. Robert made his way down the stairs and came around to my side of the couch. He bent down next to me, moved a piece of hair out of my face, and pulled my nightgown up over my thighs.

We said nothing to each other. The nightgown went over my head and all of me was exposed. He gazed at me for a moment, and then kissed my bare body. Every inch of me was devoured by his hungry lips. His hands went under the small of my back and I arched upwards as he nibbled at me. I couldn’t help but let out a breath of satisfaction.

I pulled at his nightshirt and slowly inched it over his head. It struck me as odd that men in this time period didn’t wear pants to bed. Suddenly, we were both naked, touching, feeling, breathing heavily, and I stopped thinking. This dream was so vivid, and the feelings that welled up inside me were intense enough to cause my breath to hitch. I loved him. But how could I love someone who didn’t exist?

After an hour of passionate lovemaking, we fell asleep on the couch and woke to the bright light of the morning sun. It was the most beautiful night I had ever spent with anyone. In fact, it was the most beautiful night I had ever spent, period.

*  *  *

“
Dani ... wake up, baby.”

I began to open my eyes and saw Ben’s face. I lay on the grass just beyond the water with the blanket under my head. It was starting to get more difficult for me to come to grips with reality. I wasn’t sure when I would wake up or what was truly reality anymore. My dreams with Robert seemed so real. It took me a moment to speak.

“
Ben.”

“
Dani
,
are you okay?”