For quite some time afterward Andrew said he felt unworthy. He apologized profusely to Josie and Peters. He applied for other jobs and, finding none, thought everyone knew what he’d done.
At the second meeting of Gamblers Anonymous, he stood, told his name and what led to his being there. Josie was proud when he did that. She urged him on, and after submitting more resumes, he landed the job at the bank. Of course, if anyone there even suspected he’d pilfered cash, he never would have been considered. Mr. Peters was happy for him; Josie was thrilled.
They learned in group sessions that almost any addiction can make good people do awful things they can’t seem to control. Except with help, which Andrew wanted and received.
And she had her phobia of bad weather. She understood uncontrollable actions.
On television a player wearing a Dolphins uniform remained on the ground. People rushed to him. Announcers’ words droned.
Josie had sat through those sessions with Andrew while men and women, many of them professionals and most with trembling voices, admitted their unmanageable need to gamble. The months after she discovered Andrew’s dilemma had been the most difficult. She glanced at him now, admiring his profile. He was indeed a special person. He felt perfect in her life and gave her days meaning.
“Oh, my car door doesn’t lock,” she thought to tell him.
He smiled and placed an arm around her waist. “I’ll fix it.” He studied her face. “Any other problems?”
“Not really.” She snuggled closer.
Many of the patrons staring at the screen awaiting word of the player’s condition also had problems. Some drank too much. A few probably used illegal drugs. Some wore paunches that revealed an overindulgence of food. And I’m not perfect either, Josie reminded herself, exchanging a grin with Andrew.
“Now,” he said, “when you came dancing in here, you said you had news. You’ve told me about Johan. What else made you so cheerful?”
“I was excited,” she said, “and apprehensive.”
“What could do all of that to you?”
“I made a decision. Now that I’m settled with a job again, I’m going to start a campaign for organ donors.”
His face brightened. “What a great idea.”
“And you,” she said, clutching his fingers, “will have an important function. You will be tender of the campaign funds.”
“I’ll be glad to.” His grin left, replaced by a somber expression. “I hope it does some good.”
“So do I.”
A sportscaster’s voice roared. “And he scores!”
Applause and cheers erupted in the bar. “So the Dolphins have taken the lead by three,” an announcer said. The audience’s approval was accompanied by foot stomping. Carried away, Josie let out a cheer.
“Drinks all around!” yelled a man with stiff white hair and a stuffed dolphin on top of his cap. The bartender shoved Josie another glass of wine.
“Drink up, girlie,” the elder Florida fan told her. “You’ve got the only sober face in this crowd.”
She didn’t mind being different but she peered at the screen, glad the home team was doing well. Colin would be excited. Everyone thought the Dolphins would lose by two touchdowns. Josie’s quickening heartbeat felt great since the reaction had come from a game. She liked seeing their team ahead. She especially liked putting concerns behind and getting swallowed by the crowd’s exultant mood.
Josie felt giddy by the time everyone celebrated the Dolphins’ victory. She was still smiling when she swung into her driveway and glanced at Andrew’s bike, hushing its roar behind her. Her cheerful attitude altered when she saw a dark car, the only other vehicle moving on their street, slowing at the rear of her driveway.
When it sped on, she chided herself for being such a sissy.
She parked and met Andrew on the patio. “Boy, do we have a team!” she said, her exuberance from the game returning.
He wrapped his arms around her. “Yep, we’re number one again.”
Josie seldom watched football but now felt like a first-class fan. “Our team can’t be beat.”
Andrew gave her a gentle smile. “And you know another team that can’t be beat?”
“Who? We’ll take them on.” Filled with team spirit, she was about to say more, but Andrew pressed nearer.
“You and me.”
She grinned, letting go of her fighting ardor.
His eyes narrowed. “Josie, I’d like to whisk you away on a white horse.”
A lovely image captured her imagination. She could see herself carried off, leaning against Andrew on a large horse’s saddle. Andrew wore a cape that flowed. So did her gown, one she’d specially designed. Her silken straight hair blew behind.
What they escaped from eluded her. Until her vision clouded over. She envisioned her parents. “Andrew, I….”
Kneeling, he took her hand. “Josie Aspen, would you be mine? Forever?”
Josie’s breath stopped. Her lips twitched into a smile.
Andrew rose and kissed her. They drew away from each other and kissed again, breathing in unison, moving closer until it seemed neither could be aware that the other was a separate person.
A light above their heads sprang on.
Josie watched Andrew’s eyes expand. She giggled and moved back from him.
He laughed, too, and the door opened.
Colin came out wearing a robe and pajamas. “Josie, where’ve you been?” His forehead creased and his cheeks quivered.
Andrew gave a playful nudge to his shoulder, but this time Colin didn’t smile.
Josie glanced in the door. “Where’s Sylvie?”
Her brother’s eyes filled with accusations. “She told me you’d be back in a little while.”
“She’s not here!” Josie didn’t ask it, for the idea seemed inconceivable.
When Colin looked up, the light reached the moisture pooling on the ledge of his eyes. “They called her at work again. I didn’t know where you were. I’ve been waiting.”
Josie grabbed him. “Oh, Colin.” Finding no other words, she gripped the terrified child to her chest.
He whimpered into her shirt. “I’ve been just with Fred.” Rubbing his face, he tried to dry his tears. “Don’t ever do that again,” he said, voice cracking in a whisper. “Don’t leave me alone, Josie.”
Her gaze rose to meet Andrew’s. “I won’t,” she promised. “I won’t ever leave you alone.”
Moments later, Andrew left. He patted Colin’s shoulder, peered at Josie’s eyes, kissed her cheek, and was gone.
She kept her arm around Colin to guide him inside and avoided staring at his red-veined eyes. Speaking quietly, she sent him to the bathroom. Then she tucked him into bed. Sitting on the edge of his bed, she watched while he settled his head on his pillow, wrapped an arm around it, and then opened one eye to be certain she was still there.
She stayed with him until he was in a deep sleep. After she went to bed, it took a long time for her to fall asleep. Worries about him continued. She needed to speak to Sylvie.
Visions of Andrew came. His body pressed against hers and then he took her hand, drawing her away from every problem.
Headlights bounced around in her troubled dream. The lights closed in behind, winked like large eyes, and retreated.
Sylvie drifted into the picture. Dressed as a maiden, she smiled into a camera. Her dainty foot touched something and she leaned forward as though tripping. Righting herself, her face glowed at something. She grabbed dollar bills from a sleeping Colin’s pocket and crept off into the night.
* * *
Josie still felt groggy when her alarm rang in the morning. She recalled she needed to talk to her mother.
Colin sat at the table finishing cereal. “Hey, Josie,” he said when she entered. His gaze followed her and she felt like he was sizing her up, making certain she still liked him.
“Hay is for bulls,” she replied much brighter than she felt. Colin needed supporting. He needed to know things weren’t any different than before.
He stared at a note on the table
. Please don’t wake me
.
I had to work extra late
. Sylvie had signed her note with love and kisses.
Josie shoved the note aside. “So what’s on at school today? Are you going to get time on the computer?”
Colin wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. “Uh huh. Probably in Mrs. Bell’s class.”
“Good. Compute something for me.”
He looked up, about to retort, and saw she was grinning. “I’m gonna play stuff, probably the Scientific Guy.”
She smiled. “Have fun.” She ate toast while he brushed his teeth and then went out to the front stoop. Colin sauntered out the door with his backpack and glanced back at her. Josie stretched to one side. Colin smirked. Halfway down the path to the sidewalk, he paused to look over his shoulder.
Josie waved and he smiled. He strode away to the approaching yellow bus.
Stretching until the bus left, Josie turned to go inside. An eerie sensation came of someone watching her.
Maurice stood near his driveway, staring. He scrutinized her, but didn’t make any move.
“Hi, Maurice,” she called, hoping to sound friendly and shrug off her uneasiness. Before her hand rose to wave, her neighbor skittered to his house. Josie still felt uneasy.
The workday moved quickly while she sewed hems on tuxedos, preferring to have distractions from where her thoughts kept trying to go. Customers came in all day, keeping everyone in the store busy.
Late in the afternoon she spoke with Sylvie, almost pleading with her to make certain she located Josie if she needed to go off and leave Colin.
Sylvie had an uncharacteristic migraine and went to bed.
Colin cocked back in his recliner. When Josie hooked new tubing to Fred and turned to connect him, what she saw made her stomach knot up and quiver.
Bumps marred his formerly smooth arms.
Colin saw her staring at his arm. “What’s the matter, Josie?”
She turned away. “Oh, I was just thinking. Work gets on my mind.” She forced on a smile, made the connection, and sat at her table.
Her brother talked about school, mentioning a humorous incident with another boy. He grew quiet while a newscaster spoke on TV. “Police continue their search for the man who is believed to have strangled two young women in the area,” the man said as casually as if he’d been speaking of the weather.
Josie saw Colin intently gazing at the set, where the news continued. “Weather forecasters say that Charmaine, which has been upgraded to a minimal hurricane, continues to take an unpredictable path. Meteorologist Henry Linkens will give you details, along with our local weather.”
Wiry Henry Linkens stood before a map. “This is where she’s been going,” he said, and Josie felt her sharp inhale when he marked a path higher than the one Johan had shown her. “And here are the latest coordinates.” He indicated a line skirting beneath the area of Florida where they lived. A wide swath aimed toward Louisiana’s big toe.
Colin started giggling. “And Josie,” he said as though he’d just started this story, “then the principal went out and fussed at Bill.”
“The Kissing Bandit?” Josie was relieved to forget about regional news. Colin’s tale was much better.
“Yeah Bill, the Kissing Bandit. After he struck again today, the principal fussed at him for kissing everybody in the playground.”
“He even kissed the other boys?”
Colin nodded, and she realized her laughter felt good.
“Then you know what Bill did? He kissed the principal!”
“Oh no!”
“Right in front of everybody. And the principal didn’t know what to do.”
She left her table to stand before Colin. “So what did he do?”
Colin shrugged. “We don’t know yet. He kinda turned red, then he made Bill go to the office.” Colin paused for a breath. “I’ll bet Bill’s in trouble.”
She snickered imagining the scene. And the poor principal. He always looked so solemn.
She unhooked Colin, saying, “You did a good job, Fred. Colin will come and visit you two more times this week.” She withdrew needles from Colin’s shunt and then taped that connector. Instead of moving away from the recliner, the child leaned back and shut his eyes.
“Are you feeling bad?”
He stared at Josie and looked away, his throat making swallowing motions. “He left ’cause of me, huh?”
Josie almost asked who, but she knew. “No, Colin. He didn’t.”
“Daddy left right after I got sick. So if he didn’t leave ’cause of me, then why? Why did he go?”
It was the question Josie had asked herself so often since Jack Aspen left.
She shoved back Colin’s bangs and they fell again to his forehead. “You didn’t do a thing. Our dad was just confused. He got all mixed up in his feelings.” She tried to look reassuring. “It wasn’t you.”
Was it me?
“Daddy loved you very, very much,” she said, rubbing Colin’s smooth cheek. “And I know he still does.”
“Then why doesn’t he come back? Why does Ma—” The boy started anew. “Why does she keep saying he will? But he never does.”
Josie’s breath caught. Yes, why?
“Because sometimes they’re both dingy, that’s why.” She lifted her voice to a playful tone. “Just like you.”
He sighed.
Giving a light jab to his chest, she said, “Now tell me, young man, did he kiss you? Is Bill a good kisser?”
“Yuk.” Colin swatted at her and she jumped.
“He was pretty good, wasn’t he? Go ahead, admit it. The Kissing Bandit kissed you.”
As she hoped, Colin seemed to forget his worries and bounded from his chair, going after her.
She backed into the corner near her sewing machine table, and he ran close, holding his hands out like claws. Josie scooted around her table and they both laughed while Colin dashed after her. She grabbed his machine. “Help, Fred, the Kissing Bandit’s going to get me.”
Colin’s arms rose in menace. A bout of coughing stopped him. He grasped Josie’s arm. “I’m gonna go lay down awhile.” His chest rose with strained breaths and his face looked white. Josie hid her glance at the new pocking of his arms, which made the knot in her stomach tighten.
His little friend Evan’s arms had recently looked like that.
Colin was getting sicker. He needed somebody’s kidney.
Chapter 12
Instead of having a sandwich for lun
ch at work the next day, Josie drove away from the store. She found the mall parking lot not as full as on weekends. Lips pressed tight, she strode inside and headed for Your Jewelry Place.