Answered Prayers (21 page)

The three of them had dinner together that night, as planned. Faith cooked duck for them, with a recipe she'd gotten from a friend. It was a delicious meal, and afterward Zoe went out. Alex lingered at the table for a while, and made an attempt to talk to her, but neither of them had much to say. The lines of communication had been down between them for so long that it was hard to reestablish them on command.

“Are you going to church tonight?” Alex asked offhandedly, as Faith put out the candles and started putting things away.

“I thought I'd go to midnight mass,” just as she always did. “Would you like to come?” He never did, but she always offered it to him. Zoe had said she would meet her at the church if she could. And Faith didn't press the point with her. She was going to St. Ignatius on Park Avenue.

“No, thanks,” Alex declined her offer, and went upstairs to read. Even on Christmas Eve, there was very little spark between them these days.

Faith was puttering around her study at eleven o'clock, getting ready to leave for church, when the phone rang, and she was surprised to hear Brad. It was eight o'clock for him.

“Merry Christmas, Fred.” He sounded friendly and warm, but she thought a little sad too. It was a hard time for everyone, a time to remember what you once had, hoped you would, and all your lost dreams.

“Thanks, Brad. The same to you.”

“Did you get my present?” They hadn't talked in several days, and their e-mails had been short and quick. It was a busy time for both of them.

“I did,” she smiled. It was a small box wrapped in Christmas wrap, and it was sitting on her desk. It had come in a Federal Express envelope, and she'd been saving it for Christmas Day. She had sent him a set of antique leather legal books that were beautifully bound. “It's sitting right here. I'm saving it till tomorrow.”

“That's why I called,” he sounded pleased. “I wanted to be sure you opened it tonight.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Why don't you open it now?” He sounded excited and she laughed in anticipation.

“I love presents. This is fun. Did you get mine?” she asked as she took the paper off carefully and sat looking at the small flat white box. She couldn't imagine what was inside. Nothing about it gave the contents away.

“I'm saving it for tomorrow too. But I wanted you to have yours tonight. Go ahead, open it, Fred.” She carefully lifted the lid on the box, and gave a short gasp at what she saw. They were beautiful antique rosary beads he had gotten in a religious store. The Hail Marys were beautiful old citrines, and the Our Fathers and the crucifix at the end of them were cabochon emeralds, and there were tiny rubies on the tips of the cross. They looked as though they had been handled and loved for a long time. She had never seen any as beautiful, and he had been pleased with what he'd found, and hoped they would mean a lot to her.

“The woman said they're Italian, and they're about a hundred years old. She said they'd been blessed. I wanted you to have them for church tonight, Fred,” he said in a soft voice, and there were tears in her eyes. It took her a long time to say anything. “Fred? … Fred? … Are you there?”

“I don't know what to say. They're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Thank you with all my heart. I'm going to use them tonight. I'll say a rosary for you,” she smiled. There was a wonderful old-fashioned quality to her, in spite of the way she looked. She had solid values, and a passion for her family, a deep respect for her church. She had grown up to be even better than he ever thought she would. “I'll light a candle for you too. And for Jack.”

“Maybe I'll light one for you.”

“Are you going to church?” She sounded surprised. She didn't think he did.

“I thought I might. I've got nothing else to do. We're having dinner with a few friends in a little while, and Pam's father is here. But by eleven o'clock, we'll be all through. I thought it would be nice to go.” He was thinking of going to St. Dominic's, a beautiful old Gothic church, with a shrine to Saint Jude, which he knew was her favorite saint. He had asked the woman in the religious store about where to go, when he bought the rosary for Faith. “There's a church nearby with a shrine to Saint Jude. If I go, I'll light a candle for you there.”

“I can't believe you sent me these,” she said, looking at the rosary again. It had a wonderful smooth feel in her hand, and all the settings were yellow gold. There was a little satin pouch to put it in, to protect it in her purse. She had never seen one as beautiful in her life. “I guess my old wooden ones can be retired,” she said. It was a gift that meant the world to her.

They talked for a few minutes. All he'd been able to do was leave a message for the boys. There was no direct line to the game preserve where they lived. And they obviously hadn't been able to get a line at the post office, because they hadn't called home. It made the holiday even harder for him, not to mention the tension that existed between him and Pam. He felt like a stranger in his own house these days. As always, she had invited people to dinner whom he didn't know well, and her father had a way of monopolizing the conversation and making it all about him.

“I'm glad you're not working tonight,” Faith said, holding the rosary beads in her hand. It made her feel closer to him.

“I figured I'd better stick around and make some points, before I start an all-out war.” There was no purpose in doing that, and Faith agreed. And she knew that the next day they were having a huge dinner, in black tie again. “I think Pam must have been married to a concert musician in another life, a conductor maybe, she always wants everyone in black tie, if not white. It's not exactly my cup of tea.” He was happiest in old cords and jeans with turtleneck sweaters and hiking boots, although he looked handsome in a suit too, as she'd seen in New York. “I'll think about you tonight when you're at church.”

“I'll have your beautiful rosary in my hand the whole time, and I'll be thinking of you.” There was a warm bond between them that scarcely needed words.

She glanced at her watch a few minutes later, and told him she had to leave for church, or she wouldn't get a seat. The midnight mass was popular, and the church was usually filled. And she knew Brad had to join his family and guests for dinner anyway.

“Thank you again for the beautiful gift. It's going to be my very best one.”

“Merry Christmas, Fred … I'm glad you like it… thank you for everything you've given me in the past two months. You've been the best gift of all.”

“You too,” she said softly, and a moment later, they hung up. She went to say good-bye to Alex, but he was asleep in a chair, with a book. And a few minutes later, she walked out the front door, wearing her big red coat, and hailed a cab.

And in San Francisco, Brad made an effort to talk to everyone in the room. He was wearing a blazer and slacks, as was his father-in-law. Christmas Eve was always informal at their house, although all the men wore ties. And Pam was wearing red silk pajamas, and high-heeled gold sandals. She looked festive and beautiful and statuesque. She was a handsome woman, but every time Brad looked at her he saw who she had become. She was tougher and harder and stronger than he would ever have dreamed. He had bought her a narrow gold and diamond necklace with a matching bracelet and ring, and he knew it was the kind of thing she would wear a lot. But he was far more excited about the rosary beads he had sent Faith. They had more meaning to him. And to her.

They were seated at the table in the dining room by the time the mass started in New York. They were having a traditional English meal, with roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, and plum pudding and hard sauce for dessert. But he was distracted as they started eating, and his father-in-law toasted everyone with Napa Valley wine. All he could think of was Faith on her knees in church, as she had been at St. Patrick's when she'd gone with him.

“You seem a little out of it tonight,” Pam said when they finally got up. “Are you okay?”

“Just thinking about a case,” he said, looking vague, and she met his eyes.

“Or your friend in New York?” She knew him better than he thought. “Did you send her an e-mail tonight?” she queried. She looked like a huntress going after her prey, and he shook his head. He hadn't e-mailed her, he had called her instead.

“Don't make more of that than it is, Pam. It is what it is. She's an old friend.”

“I know you better than that. You're a hopeless romantic, Brad. That's just the sort of thing you'd fall head over heels into, especially if it's a hopeless case.”

“Don't be silly.” He tried to brush her off, but what she said sounded right. He had been a hopeless romantic years before, when he met Pam. But she had stamped it out of him long since, or so he thought. He didn't believe what she was saying about his feelings for Faith. He was smarter than that. And Pam was just being territorial and defending her turf. She wanted to make it clear that she still owned him, whether she wanted him or not, or he her.

Their guests all left around eleven o'clock, and Pam's father had a car and driver pick him up. He didn't like to drive at night anymore. And as Pam and Brad walked upstairs, Brad looked at his watch.

“Do you have a hot date?” she teased. She was on his case a lot these days, although he had noticed her flirting with several men that night. She didn't hesitate to do that in front of him, or even kiss them on the mouth. She did whatever she liked, no matter what she said to him about Faith.

“Actually,” he said casually, “I was thinking of going to church.”

“Oh my God. You don't have a mistress. You've lost your mind. Why on earth would you do that?”

“I think it's a nice thing,” he said calmly, trying not to be annoyed by what she said.

“If you get religious on me, Brad, I want a divorce. Another woman, I can handle. A religious freak, I can't. That would really be too much.” He had to smile to himself, wondering what she would think if she knew he had sent rosary beads to Faith. That was about as religious as it got, but he had known how meaningful it would be to her, and was thrilled it had been.

“It's a nice tradition, and I miss the boys,” he said honestly. It had been a lonely holiday for him. They were the only allies he normally had in his own house.

The dinner with her father and friends had been painful for him, but he had been a good sport. He always was.

“I miss them too, but I'm not running to church. There must be other ways to deal with it,” she said, as she kicked off her shoes, and dropped her earrings on her dressing table.

“To each his own, I guess,” he said, left their bedroom, and walked downstairs. He didn't need her approval to go to church. “I'll be back in an hour,” he called up to her as he put on his coat, and she came out of their bedroom barefoot and half dressed with a grin.

“Give me a little warning if you're planning to become a priest.”

“Don't worry, I will.” He smiled up at her. “No danger yet. It's just mass on Christmas Eve. I think I'm safe. Merry Christmas, by the way.” He stood looking up at her for a long moment, feeling sad, wishing he still felt more for her, but he hadn't in a long time, and neither had she.

“Thanks, Brad. You too,” she said, and disappeared.

He took his Jeep out of the garage, and drove to St. Dominic's at Steiner and Bush. It was a large beautiful old Gothic church, and as he walked up the steps, he could see a cluster of tall pine trees on either side of the main altar, banks of poinsettias, and the church was mostly candle-lit. The shrine to Saint Jude was off to the right, and there were rows of candles there as well. He decided to go there first, and he lit candles for Faith and Jack, and he knelt for a moment, thinking of her, and his old friend. He didn't know what prayers he should say or even how, all he did was think of them, and wish them well. And he was grateful that some unseen force had brought Faith back into his life.

He took a seat in a pew toward the rear of the church, and was impressed by the beauty and pomp and ceremony of the midnight mass. And when they sang “Silent Night” toward the end, there were tears rolling slowly down his cheeks. He wasn't sure why, or whom they were for, or even what he was crying about. All he knew was that he was deeply moved. And when he went home that night, he felt lighter than he had in years. It was an odd sense of peace and joy and ease. He smiled as he drove home, and for an odd moment, he felt as though Jack were riding in the car with him.

13

O
N
C
HRISTMAS MORNING,
F
AITH AND
Z
OE AND
A
LEX
exchanged their gifts. Zoe had bought her mother a terrific leather backpack to use at school, and a long wool scarf so she'd look like one of the kids. And Alex had bought Faith a pretty gold bracelet at Cartier. She had given him a new suit, and some shirts and ties. And she'd given Zoe tiny diamond studs for her ears. All their gifts to each other were a great success. And their Christmas dinner was peaceful and uneventful, although they all admitted they missed Eloise. Faith had cooked a turkey, with her famous stuffing that they all loved, but somehow three at the dining table seemed a little sparse. They tried to call Eloise, but she was out when they called, and by the end of the day, Faith was feeling a little sad. She didn't like the idea that her family was shrinking, even for a year, although Ellie had promised that she'd be home for the holidays next year. And Brad called her right after they finished dinner, to thank her for her handsome gift. She answered the phone in the kitchen, while she was cleaning up. Alex and Zoe were sitting in the living room, drinking coffee, and talking, and admiring the tree. It was a rare civilized moment between them and Faith was relieved. She thought it might be Eloise when she answered the phone, and was surprised to hear Brad.

“Thank you for my wonderful books. They're incredible. They're going to be the best-looking thing in my office, Fred. Thank you so much.” He had been very proud of them when he unwrapped them, and very touched. And he had been careful to open them when he was by himself, to avoid unnecessary comment from Pam.